DISCLAIMER: I own no rights to Cirque Du Freak or any of the characters in it

A/N: Set after Darren was blooded but before he went to the cirque. A couple of days after the freak show. Oh and in Darren's POV. Mix of the books and the film.

SUMMARY: How could I tell him the truth about what I really was? This was the hardest thing that I had ever had to do and I was dreading it. Maybe maths lessons are good times to tell the truth.

TITLE: The hardest thing

~D~A~R~R~E~N~~S~H~A~N~

Chapter 4

I looked back as Steve grew more and more distant. I knew that the freak show was a big mistake and I wished that I could reverse time and live life as a normal boy. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore. Why was I so special? Why did I have to be a vampire? I asked Mr Crepsley if we could stop for a minute while I caught my breath and he agreed. We settled on a roof top, not that far from mine. "Mr Crepsley, why do I have to be a vampire?" He sighed and turned to face me.

"We all have a destiny that is planned out. If it will make this whole thing easier, tell me about you and Steve." I nodded and leant back so I was gazing at the star scattered sky.

"Okay, well I remember once, me and Steve were in maths and we were so bored so we got the teacher out of the room and wrote 'Mr Kersey stinks' on the white board." Mr Crepsley chuckled at this story then handed me a small vile. I stared at it from different angles and then took it in my hand. "Is this it? If I drink this I'll die?" He nodded as I tipped the liquid in my mouth. It tasted like aniseed and I gagged once I'd swallowed it. My lips went numb and my hands started to tingle like mad. "Ya know, it's gonna be hard not having Steve to make things right when they go wrong. He always made things better. I was crying once 'cos of something and then Steve came along and I felt better. He made my day seem brighter."

"I know it will be hard but… I will help you through it. You will miss Steve and it will hurt more than anything but when you look up at the stars and the moon in the sky, Steve will be with you. He is your best friend and you will always feel like that. He will always be in your heart and no one can take that away from you." Maybe he was right. Maybe Steve would always be with me somehow. I didn't have a lot of time to think as he pushed me off the roof and I landed on the floor in a heap. My bones ached and the world seemed to fade. I saw a blurry Steve come near me and tip my head up to face him.

"Darren! Darren c'mon man, I know you don't wanna be a vampire but you don't need to die!" He screeched as he pulled me into his arms. I was dying, in my best friends arms. "Please Darren, I could have visited you, I could have got you out of this life and hidden with you somewhere. Darren please hold on." He cried as tears streamed down his face. I twitched a little as he smiled then forced out my last words.

"Th-thank y-you S-Steve L-Leonard." My head fell on his chest as he looked up at Mr Crepsley.

"You, You killed Darren. I will never forgive you, you ass wipe!" He buried his head in my hair as pained cries escaped his throat. Mr Crepsley disappeared into the night as I lay in my distraught best friends safe arms. The funeral was short and I had to be careful not to twitch. When it was over, I lay in my coffin and thought about Steve. Those things he said when I was dying never left my mind. Dirt seemed to be lifting from the lid and soon enough I was out. When the lid was lifted, I'd expected Crepsley but no… I got Steve. He smirked when he was me, his silver eyes shimmering in the moon light.

"Hey Darren," he beamed as I lay unspoken. "I saw you twitch at the end of the funeral so knew you were alive. I told ya I'd keep you away from that life." I scrambled up from the coffin and stared at him for a while before we hid behind a tree. "Shh, don't speak." He whispered as we saw Mr Crepsley dig my grave up. He looked so menacing with the lamp beside him and the black coat on. The best thing about this night was that I hadn't lost by blood-brother after all. We tip-toed past the confused vampire and slipped out in into the night, it was just me and Steve now against the world.