Wrong Kind of Hero
Chapter 9 and ½: Pieces of A Correspondence
To:
Miss Evans, Lily, she-of-the-bright-red-hair
If I may be so bold as to differ from your most considered opinion that we should, and I quote, 'put the past behind us', I should like to present my own case for doing so. It is my belief that you comprise a large part of my past, as, I presume, I do of yours. It would be folly to disregard the foundations upon which our friendship was built and from which we have both profited so much. Forgive me, but I am not, as yet, ready to forget that which brings me much pleasure to remember. I recognize that your sentiment was well-intended, and I am sure you were referring to less pleasant memories than the ones of which I speak. However, you will understand if I do not acquiesce to 'put the past behind me', as it has brought me where I am today: speaking to you, and most likely bothering you immensely with all my rhetoric.
Humbly (I hear you laughing, and it is not polite) yours,
Severus Snape, Esq.
To:
Mr. Snape, Sev, he of the enormous brain
You're much smarter than me, and I bow to your superior rhetoric. I suspect you do it just to torment me, but I will not be bothered. Ha. So there. You're right, of course; there are many memories of you I'd hate to "put behind me", and rightly so. I still have my 'Sev when he's done something wonderful' smile (do you remember that? I do. I thought you were immensely brave to tell me so), but I think you've added another one. I call it my 'Sev when he's being annoying but right' smile. It's accompanied by an exasperated sigh and a small laugh. Just so you can keep track.
Yours (sorry about the laughing, I can't help it) arrogantly,
Lily Evans, instigator of ridiculous letters
To:
Lily Evans, instigator of ridiculous letters,
I am honored that two of your six smiles (as you see, I am keeping track) are allotted to me. I feel the new smile is very appropriate, and I'm sure it suits you just fine. I do, in fact, recall the occasion of which you speak parenthetically; it is one among many reasons for wishing to keep all my memories of you just as they are, without editing. I am indeed curious as to why you would bring up that particular example, seeing as at the time I had two left feet and certainly trod on your toes half the time we were dancing. If you wish to embarrass me, it will not work. My acerbic wit is the shield behind which I stand, and all your baiting will do you no good.
Cordially,
Severus Snape, vanquisher of Muggle death traps (do you recall that as well?)
To:
Sev,
You trod on my toes? Did you really? I don't recall that part. As far as I was aware, you danced perfectly. If the Muggle death trap you're referring to was our (tiny! wooden! not all that intimidating) roller coaster, of course I still remember. I saved that picture. I've considered framing it, but I'd hate to be too cruel. And I wasn't trying to embarrass you by bringing that dance up. It just came to mind when I thought of you. That's all.
Cordials? Ooh, sounds interesting. I shall be bubble-ly yours,
Lily
To:
Miss Lily Evans, she of the imperfect memory,
That contraption was at least a hundred meters high, and I swear to Merlin it was painted like a dragon and it roared at me when you made me get on. It was trying to kill me. The only good thing about that day was when you showed me that strange alternative medicine for neck kinks. Anyway, I'm flattered that the holes in your memory paint a far better picture of me than the truth of the matter.
Amused,
Severus
Sev:
You mean massages? I've gotten much better at them.
Mischievously,
Lily
Prove it.
Sev
Maybe I will.
Lily
This sounds somewhat like a seduction. Am scandalized you are attempting such.
S.
V. Sorry to have scandalized you. Will stop.
L.
No need. Have sufficiently recovered. Was highlight of day. Do continue.
S.
Well, in that case…
L.
Was previously unaware ellipses could be construed in a lewd way. I applaud your talent.
S.
I am the Queen of subversive punctuation. You may kneel and kiss my ring.
L.
Your ring? I think not. What else may I kiss?
S.
You are a wicked, wicked man.
L.
I like to think so.
S.
To: Remus Lupin, URGENT
Oh, bugger. Have turned corresponding with intellectual equal into flirting with intellectual equal. Help!
Lily
PS- have enclosed transcript of correspondence for further perusal.
To: Lily Evans, re: URGENT
Oh, dear. I'm afraid you're on your own with this one. Perhaps telling him the truth would help?
Pointedly,
Remus Lupin
To: Moony
You're no fun.
Lily