Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. So sad.

I knew that this would happen. Merlin. I wish that I had never had a crush on him as a kid, it has definitely come back to bite me. I don't think that any of them will ever let me bloody forget about it!

"There is no way in hell I will read that, George Weasley!" I hiss in fury. I would bet some good money on there being something in there on how Ginevra Weasley had a crush on him when she was 11, and then she married him years later. Likely something about love potions that were used on him by me too.

I'd like to state for the record that I never used anything of the sort. Considered, but never, ever used.

I hate fake love.

Charlie is laughing harder than I can remember him laughing since that time that he got Percy pissed out of his gourd when Percy was 13. Merlin, Percy's a funny drunk, but he never drinks all because of what Charlie did to him all those years ago. Sigh. What wasted humour.

I glare at them, and stalk away. They are not going to make me do this. No way. Not a chance. And at least I have a long time to find another book, and to figure a way out of it.

Great. Yet another problem that has arisen.

Just another complication in my already complicated existence.

I wonder where Albus is.

Should I go and make an attempt to save him? Now that the hot dogs are gone, I'm sure that James and Fred have turned their attentions to him, and that means that he is now a victim.

And what about Lily?

Poor, poor little girl. I still can't understand why she is so excited. Then again, she probably doesn't have clear memories of the last one. She was only five. Maybe I should let her be tortured for a while again, see if she remembers it this time.

No, Ginny. Remember your promise to be a good parent?

Besides, leaving her at the mercy of her cousins is just inhumane. In this case, it could be called child abuse!

Especially Dominique. There's something strange about that girl. And it isn't that she's just about to hit the hormonal stage of life.

It's likely the whole Fleur-is-her-mother thing. That's where they got the whole beautiful and knowing it look from. Sigh. I'm sorry Lils, that I didn't have that gene to pass on to you.

"LET ME GO!" I hear Al scream from the pitch. "LET ME GO JAMES! OR I'M GOING TO TELL MUM!"

"Don't be such a tattle tale, squirt. Think of this as... conditioning. Plus, Mum could never punish us for this without taking away her own credibility."

Sweet Merlin, my son is smart. Too smart.

"OH YEAH? THEN I'LL TELL GRANDMA! WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT, JAMES?"

A pause.

"Let go of him, Fred."

"Aw, James! We can't just let him go!"

"Do you want Grandma to yell at you?"

No answer at all. I'm sure that there is horror written all over Freddie's face. Mum can sure scare the hell out of everyone in this entire family. I don't blame them for being scared.

"I didn't think so. Let the squirt go, and we'll just go and capture Louis."

"True. He'd probably prefer us to the girls anways."

"Exactly."

And that, folks, is how I learnt that there is a hell of a lot more that goes on when I'm watching than I ever thought.

Who knew that I would eavesdrop on such a scene when I just randomly decide to stalk away from my battles rather than confront them? Good idea, self!

Now I just have to come to terms with the fact that my sons don't fear me.

And then, maybe, life will be grand.

--------------------------------------------

I decide that yes, i should go and track down Lily. And then possibly go and help Mum in the kitchen so that George can't find me.

I have a funny feeling that he is going to be blocking off the kitchen though. It's going to be difficult to track down Lily in the first place.

Oh dear.

Difficult is definitely not even the word to describe it.

If I do find her, and she is being held captive, what will I do? Will I defend my daughter? Will I laugh really hard? Or do I just leave her as she is, to fend for herself? It is a pickle that I'm in today.

But, because I am a fairly loyal person, I decide that yes, it is in the moral code of parents to help their kids out. Even if it would actually benefit them if they were just left alone in the long run. I'm sorry, Lily, that you will never grow to be a strong person, because your mum will always rescue you.

Obviously my mother never helped me. Then again, that's only because she never caught them.

Quick tip: if you have older brothers, tell on them at any time possible.

I sneak towards the house. I consider crawling, but I don't want to look really stupid. I'm sure that George would somehow find a way to get a picture of me. And then would probably put it in the Daily Prophet for my fiftieth birthday or something. Which would likely cause me to become a hermit and spend the rest of my life alone, and then Harry would divorce me. Sad that one picture has the ability to send such a wave of terror through our family.

When I get close enough to check out whose guarding the house, I see that Charlie's stationed by the front door. I can take him. Or maybe not. He doesn't have a wife to tell on about my problems with him. Scratch that plan.

But there's no way I'm taking George. So this may be my only chance.

"CHARGE!" I yell and run at Charlie. He just stares at me, as I crash into him and tackle him to the ground.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" He shouts, as I get back up and run into the house. He's asking me that? I fly up the stairs and pause outside the door of the room that I'm pretty sure they are in.

You can tell by the moans of pain, you know.

"Lily, can't you just suck it up and put it on?" Dominique says huffily, and I can sense her frustration with my daughter. Merlin knows I've felt it a time or two.

"No! Why can't one of you guys just wear it?" Ah, the joys of seven-year-old logic.

"Well, Dom, Molly, and I are way too big to wear that, Lily. And Roxane might be able to squeeze into it,but it wouldn't look very good." But Rose always beats her out, with that practical Hermione-like reasoning.

"What about Lucy?" Lily says petulantly.

"Too little. Haven't you seen the kid?"

"But I don't wanna!"

"Tough luck." Molly's voice for the first time. Good to know that my other niece wanted to take her turn in torturing.

"NO!"

"NOW!" I hear Dominique shriek, and I can just imagine her tossing her blonde hair as she, and Rose apparently jump on Lily.

"COME ON, ROXY! WE NEED SOME REINFORCEMENT!"

I hear Roxy's typical George giggle, and I hear as she steps into the attack. I would classify it as an attack, as all the older cousins are basically forcing Lily into some kind of clothing and she is definitely resisting.

Sigh.

What can a mother do?

I step away from the door, and begin to go back downstairs in my shame.

I'm sorry Lils, that your mother has no idea how the hell she could ever manage to save you. Your cousins are definitely more than I can handle. Maybe at the end of this party, we can take all the other Weasleys on. Especially if we can recruit your dad.

Hey, where is Harry now? I think I need him for comfort.

I can see his reaction in my mind.

"Honey, I need comfort! I can't save Lily!"

"What happened to her?"

"Her cousins kidnapped her!" Cue sobbing.

And I can definitely see his look of pure disgust. Then his look of pity. Then the declaration of his intent to divorce me and go hook up with the scarlet woman Romilda Vane whose been after him since he was 16.

At least I'll get the kids that way.

Oh yeah. They're hard to deal with when there is two parents, let alone one. I think if I let that happen, I'd be roasting over a fire and they'd be dancing around me in some kind of tribunal sacrifice. It would be James' idea, Albus' plan, and Lily's innocence to be used to get me caught, and it wouldn't even take much effort. I've actually seen them do this, too. One time, we were looking after Louis for the weekend, and I went into the living room where the kids had been watching Tarzan and well... Let's just say that they haven't watched Tarzan since, and that Louis has developed a healthy fear of Disney movies.

No, I suppose that Harry and I'll just have to stay together then. I know that I don't really have any desire for that kind of traumatization, and I know he's already been a sacrifice. Replay, no thank you.

Hmph. I didn't enjoy when he died the first time. Which is basically the understatement of the decade.

I thought that a part of me had died with him, which I know is really cheesy but so true. It was like I had lost the only future I had wanted, and at the time thought I could ever want. Somehow, it just felt like the world had descended into chaos, and not just around me. Inside me, too.

There's your first look into my post-Harry's-death moment. Probably won't be the last, for apparently I seem to enjoy thinking about all those juicy painful things. What joy I have in my life.

"Ginny?" I hear a voice call my name. I whirl, and there's Hermione standing at the bottom of the stairs. Hey, fancy seeing her here.

"What?" I snap at her, and she just rolls her eyes. Kids have obviously helped her in that patience area, as you can tell.

Ha.

Hermione, patient? There's no such thing. Then again, maybe that's why she's so compatible with Ron. Neither of them have a stitch of bloody patience in them. Then again, who am I to talk?

George probably outclasses me in that area!

"Molly wants you to come help her with some discipline." Hermione says tiredly, and pushes her bushy hair out of her face. "Apparently, they caught Fred and James when they were 'bullying' Louis, and Fleur's having a bit of a-"

"Freaker." Ron says, appearing behind Hermione at the bottom of the stairs. He climbs up to her, and puts his arm around her waist. How sickeningly cute. Excuse me while I go barf in the bush. "Not like they don't do it every time they're here together, but... Hey! Don't hit me!"

"You deserve it," Hermione says flatly, and daintily wipes off her fist. There is something weird about that girl, and I don't mean her brain. "We don't have to tell Fleur about her nephews' activities regarding her son, I thought I'd told you that already, Ronald!"

"Oh. Yeah, that does kind of ring a bell." Ron scrunches his face up and he looks like he's thinking really hard. Either that or is constipated. Take your pick. Neither of them happen often, I hope, so this must be a truly momentuous occasion.

I just look at them.

"The point of this is...?"

"Go talk to your mother," Hermione orders, and I step around her on the stairs, as she continues to berate Ron. Enjoy, folks.

I'm not sticking around just to watch them argue, then have a make-up snog. Usually it'd be a shag, but since we're here, they'll have to wait until they get home. Thank Merlin.

There are some things that a sister should never have to witness, and that is one of them.

I shudder as I walk down the stairs. That train of thought definitely brings back bad, bad memories. I have to stop thinking about this. Lalalalalalalala....

With this mental frame of mind, I walk into the kitchen. Fred and James are sitting on chairs, backs straight, while Mum rants, pointing her finger at them. Louis looks smug, but kind of terrified at the same time. He should be. They are going to go for him now. Al must be... well, maybe he can be happy for a bit.

Odd that my kid most upset about coming could possibly be happy in the next few hours.

Maybe Harry will be in pain soon, and it'll my turn to altruistically cheerful.

Hehe.

Mean of me to think, eh?

Fleur is talking to Louis rapidly in French, the look of anger on her face growing, even though he's not saying a word. He just shakes his head at her in his smugly terrified way. I seriously hope that no one ever yells at me in French. It must be scary. Thank Merlin that I'm a hell of a lot smarter than Bill and married an Englishman. Then again, Harry's the most scary person that I've ever seen mad. His eyes glow all green, and his face goes white, and he runs his hand through his hair, and it makes it so I can't even retaliate. All I can do is think about how bloody hot he is. Sigh.

So, he basically wins. Every bloody time!

Someday, I hope to change that. Possibly by our fiftieth anniversary.

Though, even that's aiming high.

A/N

Please review!