Note: It's important to read the A/N (author's note) at the end. I have a few important questions about the story and I need your opinions! You get to have a say in the story! ^-^! I can't start the next chapter until I get some responses. Thanks!

GRAVITATION
by Yih

"Love—is anterior to Life—
Posterior—to Death—
Initial of Creation, and
The Exponent of Earth—"
- Emily Dickinson

4. Departure

London 1760

Bella POV

"It isn't wrong, you know," Alistair remarked as he patiently watched me suck the blood from a pig that Carlisle had acquired from the butcher before it could be skewered for me. "To feed on humans. It would be like saying it is wrong for cats to kill mice. It is in our nature, Isabella. We are the predators and they are the prey."

"I am satisfied with this," I responded, tossing the pig away from me and reaching up to wipe my mouth only to find Alistair dabbing his handkerchief on my lips.

"You have good control for a newborn. I may have stopped you from leaping out the window the first night, but you could have gone after them if you had really wanted." Alistair paused, refolding the piece of cloth and placing it back into his pocket. "How long has it been since you awoke?"

"A week, I think."

"I have been in London for nearly a month then," he said. "It is time we left this city."

"Leave?" I asked.

It had never occurred for me to wonder if Alistair and Carlisle lived together. I assumed they did, even though vague recollections of them talking before I regained full consciousness made that seem unlikely. Not to mention the fact that their lifestyles were quite different. Carlisle, heaven knows how, was a doctor who treated humans with such compassion it was moving. Perhaps, that is why Alistair never criticized his lifestyle despite not agreeing with it.

I looked up at my Creator. Alistair was not inclined to the restricted diet Carlisle confined himself to and that I found myself mimicking. He fed on humans and that was how I came into existence. I had already watched him once out of curiosity and I found it difficult to see him feed without wanting to partake in the activity myself.

I do not know why he didn't just kill me like he had killed the man. It was hard enough for me to stop feeding once I started and yet Alistair had halted himself from drinking me dry. I fed on animal blood and it was not anywhere near as alluring as human blood. But why had stopped himself? I did not ask, not because I did not want to know, I was afraid of the answer.

What if I did not like it?

"I have a country estate," Alistair said. "It is only a few hours by horseback outside of London and it is secluded with hunting grounds."

He was being kind by taking me out of the city. And if it was only a few hours by horseback, that meant Carlisle was only a short run away. I had not really been able to test out my new abilities as a vampire, but I knew enough to know I was stronger and faster than I had ever been – invincible compared to a mere human.

"We will leave tonight, but first I will hunt once more," Alistair told me. "I would like to arrive early enough to show you the grounds."

I nodded, glad that he had never invited me to come with him again after the first time. Alistair was not a bad man and I was sure I could have had a worse Creator, but still – I wonder what life would be like for Alistair and I once we left Carlisle behind. Would Alistair push for me to feed on humans? Would I give into the temptation once I was away from the overly compassionate Carlisle? Would I become even more of a monster than I already was?

"I think Carlisle is back," Alistair said, hearing the faint noise of the front door opening and closing. We were in the kitchen and the pig that I had drained dry was lying where I had tossed it. "I will leave now, but I won't take long. Please be ready to depart once I return."

Carlisle appeared then from behind, not startling us because with our keen ears we could hear him coming. "I assume you are leaving to hunt?"

"Yes," Alistair confirmed. "Then we will depart for my country estate."

"You will not be extending your stay?" Carlisle asked.

Alistair shook his head. "I have already stayed longer than I intended."

They both looked at me and I glanced off to the side, knowing that I was the reason why. It made me slightly uncomfortable the way they treated me like I needed to be cared for. Alistair had held me back the first night because he was afraid I would expose myself, not because he cared that I would harm those humans. I am certain he would have procured me one if I had asked. As for Carlisle, he went through the trouble of bringing home animals for me to feed on, so that I wouldn't have to trouble myself with hunting as he did.

Both of them always made sure that one of them was with me at all times. It was not clear to me if they did not trust me or if they did not want to neglect me. I supposed I should feel grateful that they were there for me. And it had given me the chance to question them about vampires, about who I was now.

I still could not quite comprehend that I was immortal and that I was so beautiful. The first time I had looked in the mirror, I could not believe that it was me. The girl that had reflected back at me was unnaturally gorgeous. While my human memories were vague, I knew I had never been this lovely. All my imperfections had been erased and all my good features enhanced. Too bad the good things came with a cost – and what a price to pay!

"I will be back soon," Alistair reiterated, looking hesitant about leaving me like he had the previous times he had left.

I met his gaze and nodded. "I will be ready for you."

And with that, he disappeared out the door, moving so quickly that no human eye could keep up with him. I instinctively went to the doorway and watched him until he turned the corner and was out of sight. I stood there for a few more seconds before I went back inside, shutting the door behind me.

"I do not think I have ever seen Alistair care about anyone besides himself," Carlisle remarked.

I whirled around and found that he had somehow come up on me without my awareness. I still wasn't used to being a vampire, I am certain Alistair would not have been caught by surprise.

"Do you know why…" my voice trailed off before I finished what I was saying.

Did I really want to know? I had already wrestled with the question all week. I thought I had made peace with not knowing. After all, sometimes it was better to be left in the dark. I would have preferred to never know, to never experience being a vampire if I could change things.

I suddenly ached for my former life. Who had I been? I knew my name, Isabella. I must have had parents. What were they like? Why could I not remember? I know Carlisle had explained that the change was so difficult that the memories of before faded, but why did they both remember more than I did?

"He has not told me," Carlisle responded to my unfinished question. "I have asked several times."

"It was not random chance, was it?" I said, feeling strangely detached.

Did I want my change to mean something to Alistair? Was that good or bad? Did I remind him of someone? Thoughts like these would drive me insane if I kept on thinking about them. So many questions, so many possible answers…

"Alistair has never changed anyone before," Carlisle murmured. "And…"

"And?"

"And he always seemed satisfied being alone, wandering. I, on the other hand," Carlisle continued, a far off look in his eyes, "I would not mind having a companion."

"Why don't you?" I asked.

"It seems somehow wrong to take someone from the life they know."

After he said that, I could feel his warm and concerned eyes on me, worrying how I would take his honest words. I was not one to deny truth. It was wrong of Alistair to take my life away from me. I was young! I might not have any other virtue but that – and yet, what greater gift than youth? I had a full life ahead of me that I would never get to live.

"I am sorry that he took that from you, but what's done is done and it cannot be reversed. I may not approve of what he did or why he did it, and yet I think – I know you will be a blessing to him. You are a remarkable young woman, Isabella."

I did not know what to say to his kind words, his unexpected compliment. It was not the first time that I had wished he had been the one to change me and not Alistair. Every time I thought this I felt like I was betraying Alistair. It was confusing, my emotions. I resented him for robbing me of the life I could have had and yet thankful he had not decided to drain me dry and left me for dead.

But Carlisle as my Creator? We were kindred spirits, both loathing the idea of taking a human's life and wanting to be good. If I did not know Carlisle, I would say it was impossible for a monster to be good. And yet I knew him and I knew him to be as good as any person could be.

I did not allow myself to wonder beyond that about Carlisle and I. I promised myself that it would be the last time to think that. I should be more appreciative to Alistair. He was taking me to the countryside where there were hunting grounds. It could not just be for himself, not when he favored a human diet. He had brought that up specifically for me. It had to mean something.

Unfortunately, it meant leaving Carlisle behind.

"Will you visit?" I asked abruptly.

"I will," he promised.

I smiled at him, feeling instantly better that he would not disappear from my life as my memories had. I would be sad to go, but at the same time I knew it was for the best. As much as I did not want to give into temptation and drink human blood, it was difficult. Everyday I watched the people go from my bedroom window upstairs, thinking how easy it would be, especially at night, to swoop down and take my pick of them. I do not think I could even be discrete.

It was bad enough when Carlisle came back smelling sweetly of his human interactions. I stared at him, suddenly aware of the alluring scent permeating around him. My mouth began to water with my venom and despite having fed so recently, I was ravenous.

"I should go change," Carlisle said. "Will you be all right?"

I knew what he was asking. His voice seemed so far away. I concentrated on it. He was standing right next to me. Why did he sound so distant?

"Isabella…"

I suddenly found myself staring straight into his golden eyes. His face was right in front of mine, so close and so concern. "Carlisle?"

"The countryside will be good for you," he murmured, wrapping his arms around me, hugging me. "Alistair will take care of you and I will visit often. Everything will be okay."

I wished earnestly as I clung to him that all his words would be the truth.

To be continued…

A/N: Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, keep it up! I do enjoy reading what you think ^-^!

I hope that Bella will not seem as she is having too easy of a time, staying away from human blood and hopefully Alistair is slightly more sympathetic here and yet not overly good either. He is what I would I call a 'complicated' character, but hopefully Bella will be good for him. Any ideas why he changed her? As for Carlisle, I'd been waiting for Bella and Carlisle to have a heart-to-heart and here it is!

Now my questions for you #1: Do you want more of past Bella now or shall I skip right to the present and come back to past Bella at a later time point or should I explore Bella a little more in the past? I'm a bit undecided at this point, although there are so many interesting possibilities with either!

#2: Would you like to see POVs other than Bella's and Edward's? If so, who? At the moment, I'm thinking Alice at the very least in the present. Maybe Alistair and Carlisle in the past. Any thoughts? Thanks!

Released: 3/2/2009