Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. Sadly.

Spells and Songs

Wow. I am so shocked that I can barely even breathe right now.

Okay, so I'm hyperventilating in the hallway. Your point is?

Percy has just moseyed on past me, apparently acting like he hasn't just dropped the biggest bomb of the Weasley Party so far! Seriously. He just looks so... Percy-ish! He hasn't changed at all. One would expect him to be swaggering around a little bit, he did just chug some Firewhiskey.

Maybe my brothers have finally taught him how to handle his liquor.

After the day I've been having, it wouldn't surprise me. They would take the entertainment out of the party. Sigh. Percy's my favourite brother to see drunk.

And now, they have taken away that joy of mine.

Someday, somebody will be paying for this travesty.

Though, I'm sure he will get pissed if he keeps going at this rate.

I decide to go outside, to where everyone is convened. This seems like a smart idea, I reassure myself. Keep your friends close but your enemies closer kind of thing, isn't it? Most people here I would currently classify as an enemy.

Besides, I slightly miss my husband. I haven't got to see him very much today.

Oh, and my kids I miss too. As annoying as they can be, I just love to cuddle them up sometimes, and ruffle their hair just to make them mad. They are so adorable! James, with his ever-present smirk, and Al's bright green eyes, and Lily's beaming smile when you make her really happy...

Squash that maternal instinct right now, Gin. Later you can admire your cute little kids all you want, but now you have to concentrate on the plan!

It's kind of sad that I have to give myself pep talks.

I walk out the door, and see them all convened together, like they were previously on my last venture outside.

Bill, Ron, Charlie, Hermione, and Harry are all lounging on picnic tables, surveying the area. They look like they are part of the army, as scouts or something. So weird.

Hold up.

Why are Hermione and Harry with them? Aren't they supposed to be my allies?

Then again, maybe this is better. They can be my spies, my minions on the inside.

Though I will have to remember not to refer to them as that, because Harry has always been a wee bit touchy about control.

If George was there, I'd go wand-hunting. As it is, I'm tempted.

But I see Angelina heading into the kitchen through the back way, so this is obviously not a little snog session. It is a guarding mission, and even I have to admit that George is probably one of the best people to entrust it to because I kind of think he would rather die than be bested by his wandless sister.

I go over and sit down next to Hermione, deeming it as the best position to be in. She should protect me, right?

Charlie looks at me as if I'm some sort of interesting dragon or something. Kind of creepy. It reminds of the way the twins used to look at me during childhood, like some sort of passing amusement.

Well, then. No need to creepy, my good brother!

Everyone stops their conversations, and just stares at me. I feel ostracized.

"So, er... how about that game, eh Gin?" Ron says quickly, trying to cover up the awkward pause.

I look at him through narrowed eyes, and decide to take some of the attention off of me. "Yeah, might have been even better if Harry and Charlie hadn't decided to commit suicide in the middle of it, the prats!"

Hermione nods emphatically. Thank you, dear sister-in-law! At least one of my family members are helping me in my fight against the insanity of Quidditch.

I am sounding pathetically hypocritical. I am the one who played professional Quidditch, you know.

And here I am, preaching about safe Quidditch habits. Wow, what a momentuous moment in this Potter's life!

Charlie just rolls his eyes. "Thought you had a bit more fun in you than that, Gin. Or at least that's what Harry tells me."

Harry and I glance at each other and blush scarlet.

No comment, folks.

I'm pretty sure that you don't want to hear about our sex lives.

And if you do, I am very disturbed.

Ron covers his ears quickly. "I don't want to hear about all the charms that Harry and Ginny use for fun, thank you very much!" He exclaims.

That makes two of us. And I think Harry agrees.

Aw. Just look at him blush.

"It's not like you don't know them, Ron." Charlie smirks. He seems to have decided to attempt to make us very uncomfortable. "You and Hermione have always had the family reputation as the 'feisty' couple."

Dead silence, as we all kind of try to compute how to react to that. I've got nothing. I would have laughed if I hadn't wanted to alienate Hermione, and if he hadn't been making fun of Harry and I a couple of seconds ago.

I thought that I would never say this, but thank goodness for Percy Weasley for coming over to interrupt.

"Audrey says she has something she wants to present to us," he says with a sigh.

I feel slightly uneasy.

What could Audrey have to show us?

If it's her sex spells, I may die.

Everyone comes to join us, obviously having been alerted to this event by Percy. I happen to notice the absence of all the children.

Oh dear.

Audrey leads them out of the house, looking joyful in a scary way, and they stand in a line in front of us. James is grinning excitedly, Al just looks confused, and there are tear tracks on Lily's face and her leg is bleeding. Well, this is an interesting chain of events.

Audrey stands in front of them like a conductor, waving her wand. And then they open their mouths.

C-O-F-F-E-E
Coffee is not for me
It's a drink that people wake up with
That it makes them nervous is no myth.
Slaves to a coffee cup
They can never give coffee UP!

Nice final note, children. So very, very high.

Ouch.

Teddy is grinning at me, a devilish Weasley-like smirk upon his face. I wonder what's going on. Maybe it's about him and Victoire?

An epiphany.

Horror overcomes me. Has Audrey discovered my coffee fetish?

We all just stare at them.

"That was...er...unexpected." Harry says awkwardly, trying to make the atmosphere a little bit less stunned. "Why did you choose that particular song?"

"Oh," Audrey smiled slightly, and it kind of looks like the smile of a shark right before he bites you. Not that I would know or anything. "We were just inspired by real life."

Whoever told her is dead. Dead I tell you!

Mum nods slowly. "So who likes coffee?" She asks curiously.

"My mum!" James shouts.

Well, damn.

He is so grounded.

I should have known better than to drink coffee in front of them.

All the Weasleys are looking at me in a slightly confrontational matter. They seem to be little bit angry that I've been lying about my love of tea for all these years. Well, this is exactly why I didn't tell you, folks!

But still.

Busted.

AN

I'm sorry that this is a little late, but I've been crazy busy doing homework and my half-year courses' midterms. Sigh. But now they are finished, and my schedule should be a little clearer.