Summary: Pandora employs Saga to document her progress as an inventor for her future evil minions. Her assistants aren't quite as enthused.
Pandora's Invention Log
Penned by Saga Wordsworth
[Setting. Underground Laboratory. Stone walls. Dirt floor. Poor lighting. The smell of potions and metal lingers in the air. Fur is scattered over the floor from lack of cleaning and excessive shedding. There is a framed portrait of fellow Forester, Eadwulf Trevorrow, hanging on the wall—]
Pandora: Don't mention that! [clearly flustered]
Saga: Apologies.
Pandora: [looking remarkably nervous] Okay, deep breaths. I can do this. Phew. Alright. [turns confidently toward Saga] Hello, my dear minions of the future! If you are reading this, then you must be an advent follower of my work. I am Pandora Day, but you will kindly refer to me as your Supreme Overlord! Saga, can you add a dramatic applause?
[Applause echoes out across the laboratory]
Pandora: [looks over Saga's shoulder, frowns in annoyance] You didn't have to write down me saying it.
Saga: You asked me to transcribe all your words and everything I see and hear. I am Saga the Chronicler. I must be thorough.
Pandora: But—oh, forget it! [marches back to her place and clears throat] As I was saying, you are probably reading this to learn more about your evil, yet generous overlord. How did someone as brilliant as I start out from such simple beginnings? Well, I am naturally a genius, and you will be blessed to know how I made my name in the Foresters. You see, I am the lead inventor of the Foresters, and it is my job to create revolutionary inventions to conquer our enemies. Well, Jason wouldn't use the word "conquer", but he'll thank me after we subjugate our enemies and put them under my command.
[Pandora points dramatically to the back of the laboratory. Several inventions covered in tarps stood against the walls, waiting to be unveiled by their creator]
Pandora: All great geniuses start from humble beginnings. With the help of my lovely assistants who I totally informed in advance of what will be happening during these tests, we shall demonstrate my progress towards conquering the world! Mwuahahahahaha! Mwuahahahahahahaha! Mwuaaaaahahahahahaha!
[Pandora continues this for another ten minutes. Saga the Chronicler, wanting not to waste all her valuable paper, writes this passage in its place]
Pandora: Obviously, many years from now when my bloodline becomes the supreme ruling power, my legacy will be told through academia. As such, to truly understand the roots of a great ruler, you need to see how they started out as a seedling. I ask you, what was the great achievement your overlord sought to conquer? Command over the skies!
[Pandora slaps her paw on a board that had a diagram of a winged contraption]
Pandora: The Sky Slayer! For too long, winged Pokémon have hailed over the infinite space above. Their domain lies in the air above while us grounded creatures must contend with the space gifted to us by the forces of gravity. I wish to conquer gravity itself! [pouts] Jason told me I can't conquer gravity. Oh, what does he know? I'm the scientist here! Of course, the sky slayer is still a work-in-progress, thus I've made alternative methods to my sky conquering demands.
[Pandora pulls away the sheet to her first invention. It was a full-body camouflage suit with a hood, mask, and goggle combo. The underarms, sides, and legs had a black membrane attached together]
Pandora: Behold, the Wing Suit of Dooooooom!
Saga: Is that "doom" with seven or eight o's?
Pandora: [groans] It's just for dramatic effect, Saga. Stop taking everything so literally. [smirks] See, I've been studying the anatomy of the Emolga. They do not possess the same flying capabilities as their avian cousins, but they do possess an affinity for the air. By trapping air under these wings, you can simulate flight via gliding. While getting off the ground is next to impossible, one can sustain flight for a long time and traverse the skies with great ease. It's the ultimate infiltration tool.
Saga: But don't most kingdoms already plan around for aerial spies?
Pandora: When I ask for your input, I'll let you know! Stop ruining the mood, Saga! [clears throat] Anyway, the design has to be fitted for an assortment of body types, and I'm still working out some flaws in the version for quadrupeds. [grunts] I should know, I was the one who tested it. Oof, I had such a major cramp in my hindlegs. Fortunately, my lovely roommate, Mel…uh, Harlow, was kind enough to test it for us. Wait, would Melissa's secret already be revealed by the time this is published—
Harlow: I-I'm having second thoughts!
[Harlow stands atop a rising platform nearing the ceiling. She is wearing the wingsuit and currently waddling on the edge of the platform]
Harlow: This is safe, right?
Pandora: Probably!
Harlow: Probably?!
Pandora: Oh, you'll be fine! You've survived worse falls than this.
Harlow: You did test this before giving it to me, right?
Pandora: Of course! The dummy I tested it on came out perfectly fine. Well, except for when it got decapitated in the crash.
Harlow: AH!
Pandora: Just jump! I placed a cushion in front of the platform.
Harlow: O-Okay. I can do this. I can do this! [straps goggles and hood on] I can do THIS!
[Harlow leaps off the platform and spreads her wings. With eyes full of confidence and determination, she…plummeted into the cushion with a hard splat]
Harlow: Ow…
Pandora: [winces] Oooooh. I…think this would've worked better with a higher ceiling.
Pandora: History books will tell of one of my most successful inventions, the Phantom Grappler. As you all know, it's an apparatus worn under the clothes armed with two long cables tipped with metal. By utilizing basic mechanics and some alchemical intervention, the cables are fired out from under the sleeves to either imbed themselves into a surface or as a capture tool. It takes a significant amount of training to master them, which is why only those of Nature Spirit Scout rank are trained to use them.
Saga: Any comment on the time you gave Jet a black eye when you first showed off this invention?
Pandora: You know about that—I mean, uh, no comment! Rumors! Scandalous rumors, those are! [shakes her head to hide her guilt] I'm not hiding my…ugh, never mind. Look, the point is, I realized the phantom grappler's capture mechanic could be expanded on for much larger prey. If my lovely assistant will wheel in the device…
[Ursula Haumann enters, wheeling in a large object draped in a tarp]
Pandora: Ursula, as one of the leading commanders of the Weald Rangers, do you ever worry about enemy units charging in on flying airships or armored wagons?
Ursula: [confused] Why would anyone fly a boat?
Pandora: I…Ursula, we discussed this in the script! Just roll with it!
Ursula: Uh, sure. Uh, yeah. The Weald Rangers have been mighty concerned with flying boats and armored wagons, I guess.
Pandora: Pull away that tarp and feast your eyes on the answer to your troubles!
[Ursula pulls the tarp back. Underneath was a rotary cannon loaded with harpoons. There is a crank on the left side. Twelve alchemical potion flasks were locked into the back of the device]
Pandora: I present to you the Cyclonic Harpoon Cannon! This bad boy fires out twelve harpoons thanks to the pressurized power of alchemy. Each harpoon is connected to a cable, allowing you to reel in up to twelve targets at once, or even a larger target with all twelve at once!
Ursula: [stares at it confused] Wouldn't spinning it throw off the aim or get the cables tangled?
Pandora: [laughs haughtily] A doubter, I see. Go on, Ursula. Give it a test run on that conveniently placed airship model sitting against the wall.
[There is indeed a model replica of a sea-faring vessel the size of a wagon sitting against the wall]
Ursula: Where…did you get that?
Pandora: I know a guy who knows a guy who lost a bet. Now fire!
Ursula: [turns the cannon toward the replica ship] If you say so. How do I fire this?
Pandora: Oh, there's a pulley cord in the back.
Ursula: Ah, I see. [pulls the cord]
[The alchemical flasks' contents begin to bubble, and the cannon's muzzle begins to spin. The inside of the cannon immediately begins to inflate and hiss from the built-up pressure]
Ursula: Pan, you did test this, right?
Pandora: [shrugs] Eh, it couldn't have been too different from the phantom grappler, so I just upped the power by…twenty or thirty times?
Ursula: GET DOWN! [tackles both Pandora and Saga to the ground]
[The cannon explodes, sending scrap metal flying into the walls. The harpoons stab into the walls around the replica ship with only three landing their mark]
Pandora: [sits up and marvels at her work] Huh. Okay, I might have made a mistake in my calculations.
Ursula: Never invite me down here again…
Pandora: Okay, I'm actually quite proud of this next one, though Jason keeps rejecting it because it's "too dangerous" and "against the morals of the Foresters" and "a waste of our resources" and "stop using finger quotes in front of me, I'm being serious." Ha, that's why I'm the lead scientist, Jason! You're not the visionary here.
Saga: A visionary, indeed.
[Pandora removes a tarp, revealing a pedestal with a single loaf of bread sitting on top. A perfectly normal loaf of bread. This is what Saga the Chronicler cancelled her afternoon for]
Pandora: Oh, hardy har. You won't be so judgmental once you see my invention in action.
Saga: I'm pretty certain sliced bread was already invented.
Pandora: Ha! This ain't your paltry sliced bread! This is one of my greatest inventions: Exploding Bread! The ultimate tool for weakening enemy lines!
Saga: I can see why it was rejected.
Pandora: Through Shade's alchemical genius, we created a formula that has been laced into the bread. When exposed under the right conditions, it'll trigger the potion laced within the bread to expand rapidly, causing untold havoc on the insides of the target. Depending on the dosage, it can range from a painful stomachache to complete rupturing! When the enemy goes to make themselves sandwiches or eat plain ol' slices of bread, they'll be in for a nasty surprise.
[Pandora slices off some bread and places it on a skillet atop a campfire]
Pandora: For the sake of simplicity, the dosage I laced into this bread reacts to heat instead of stomach acid. Now, watch as my invention takes shape with its devious machinations! Tremble as the flames trigger my devious concoction and turn all who ingest it into a quivering pile of jelly—
[The underground laboratory's hatch swings open, echoing down into the hidden chamber. Lambert Ramsey slides down the ladder, stomping his pegleg and snarling at Pandora]
Lambert: PANDORA!
Pandora: AH! [runs like a coward] Wait, Lambert! I can explain—
Lambert: Are you wasting my bread again?! [chases after her with a tenderizing mallet] Dammit, you mad scientist! What did I tell you about wasting food?! And now you've gone and contaminated it with your stupid experiment! I expect you to eat that entire loaf when I'm done with you!
Pandora: LAMBERT, PUT THE MALLET DOWN!
Lambert: STOP RUNNING!
[Saga the Chronicler watches as Lambert chases Pandora around the laboratory, their shouts and screams echoing off the walls. Saga turns her attention back onto the bread cooking over the fire, where it suddenly expanded and exploded into pieces]
Saga: Fascinating.
Lambert: Oh, that TEARS IT!
Pandora: Mercy! UNCLE! UNCLE!
Pandora: Phew. Okay. Um, that was intense. Anyway, we have another invention to show off that definitely won't have me threatened with a tenderizing mallet. First things first, welcome my next assistant: Klaus!
[Klaus Geier steps into view. He is particularly sniffly today, bundled up tightly in a scarf that he blows his nose into. Absolutely disgusting]
Klaus: You didn't need to say that out loud. [sniffles and glares at Pandora] Alright, what are you torturing me with this time?
Pandora: [grins] Glad you asked! You see, with the Foresters moving into more active territories such as hunting Last Autumn, capture tools are essential. Of course, my alternate designs for the phantom grappler have been met with…critique, we'll say.
Klaus: You mean other than being wildly dangerous and impractical?
Pandora: Hush, assistant! My point is, we need something a bit more reliable and…I suppose less dangerous despite that being the boring option. I was stuck for ideas until I remembered that alchemist that tried to hunt down Eadwulf. Mario, I think his name was. Marko. Margarine. Meh, his name's not important. I remember those little alchemy bombs he used to trap Jet and Harlow together. Super effective and nigh unbreakable to most force. Although, we can take it a step further than just bombs. So, I give you—
[Pandora removes a tarp. Underneath is a large barrel with straps, some kind of mechanism attached to the side, and a hose]
Pandora: The Adhesive Spraying Doom Pack 5000!
Klaus: 5000?
Pandora: Yeah. It sounds cooler. [picks the device up and begins strapping it onto herself] This device will spray a version of that adhesive potion which will harden seconds after being expelled. It can be used to neutralize an entire charging force with a few quick sprays. Much simpler and effective than a few bombs.
Klaus: Uh huh.
Pandora: Best part, this new version of the formula was updated by Shade, so it should be stronger and stickier. Escape is futile! Mwuahahahahaha!
Klaus: Astounding. [sighs and rolls his shoulders] Alright, hand it over so I can test it out or whatever.
Pandora: Oh, I didn't call you down here to use it.
Klaus: Eh?
Pandora: I needed a live target who would struggle for their life. [holds hose between her paws] I was going to ask Shingo, but chances are I'd end up spraying the entire laboratory before I got him. So, lucky you!
Klaus: You madwoman! [turns and runs as Pandora starts spraying blue goo out from the pack]
Pandora: Mwuahahahahaha! Run, Klaus, run! We need as much valuable data we can get from this baby!
Klaus: You are insane, woman!
Pandora: Thank you!
Klaus: That wasn't a compliment!
Pandora: For our next unveiling, we have my other lovely roommate joining us today. Marie, do you have anything to say to my loyal minions of the future?
Marie: [smirks with malicious intent] Pandora sleeps with a doll of Eadwulf she made out of scraps—
Pandora: [visibly distressed] I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE!
Marie: [sighs] Look, no offense, but I have no interest in testing out your inventions. I prefer keeping my skin pristine, smooth, and not charred by whatever explosion occurs.
Pandora: [whines] Aww, come on! I promise it won't blow up!
Marie: Nope. Not interested. Have fun. [walks away]
Pandora: [pouts] Ugh, fine. I'll have Saga test them out instead. [walks over to a tarp] Presenting my next invention—
[Pandora removes the tarp, revealing a pedestal with a blocky headset. It has two round, green lenses and a strap for the head]
Pandora: [places the goggles on] The See-Through-Anything Specs! A tool designed for spying and infiltration. You see, I was inspired by the Luxray's natural ability to peer through solid matter as if it were transparent. An ability such as this grants the wearer the ability to peer through anything. Walls, doors, fabric, rocks—
Marie: [races back over with an intrigued smile] Fabric? You mean it can see through clothes?
Pandora: Well, yes—
Marie: Pandora, in the name of science, I will gladly test your invention! [snatches the goggles off her head and places them on, laughing to herself] Ooooh, this is going to be good.
Pandora: [grins] Well, I'm glad you appreciate science as much as I do, Marie.
Marie: Oh, I love science. I'm especially fond of…biology~.
Saga: I think we'll need to put an age restriction on this log.
[Marie begins to stare intently at Pandora, laughing to herself. After five seconds of staring, Marie frowns and pulls the goggles off]
Marie: Uh, Pan? I don't think they're working. I can't see through your clothes—I mean that wall behind you.
Pandora: [chuckles] Well, these are one of my theoretical inventions. I lack the material to construct the device properly, but I have the plans written up in my mind.
Marie: So, you…didn't invent goggles that can see through anything?
Pandora: Not yet— [Marie throws the goggles back into Pandora's face, knocking her to the floor]
Marie: [sighs dramatically] There goes my afternoon plans.
Pandora: As the evil history books have no doubt recorded in the future, my generation was when we saw the birth of the train system. Its ingenious design will revolutionize transportation across vast distances and make it possible to transport larger goods between kingdoms. So naturally, I wanted to modify the design for something more sinister and twisted. Mwuahahahaha!
Saga: Truly riveting stuff I'm writing down.
Pandora: But to truly appreciate what I've come up with, we must turn to my assistant who is patiently waiting for us outside the forest. Let's go!
[Pandora and Saga the Chronicler travel outside the forest to where Pandora's newest victim/assistant waits: Sadie Mailet. She is standing beside an eight-wheeled metal contraption with a repurposed couch bolted to the front and a concerningly large furnace attached to the back]
Pandora: Sadie! Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to test my latest invention.
Sadie: You paid me to test this.
Pandora: [groans] You drive a hard bargain, too. [shakes her head] But enough of that. You will be the first to test out my repurposed design of the train. I call it…The Land Razing Locomotive of EVIL!
Sadie: The Land Razing Locomotive of Evil?
Pandora: No, no. You have to say EVIL with more conviction. Put your soul into it!
Sadie: Pan, sweetie, I could be doing literally anything else right now, and caving into your delusions is already pushing a boundary. I'm almost certain this thing is going to explode on me, and I'm just counting down the minutes until you have to ask Godfrey to drag the flaming wreckage back to your lab before you throw another one of your tantrums which mostly consists of screaming and kicks said wreckage until you cut yourself and have to drag yourself back up to base to see Shade for treatment and—
Pandora: Okay, okay, I get it! Stop…talking! Sheesh.
Saga: She's good practice for speed writing.
Pandora: [gestures to her invention] Anyway, the Land Razing Locomotive of EVIL is based off the design of the train system, but without the need of tracks. I've designed this baby to move across any terrain and even steer through simple controls. As for a fuel source, I've once again turned to Shade for some definitely-not-experimental potions to give it that firepower.
Sadie: I am going to be in a closed-casket funeral.
Pandora: Oh hush, and get into the chair!
Sadie: [jumps into her seat and buckles herself in] Okay, uh… [grabs the control levers and adjusts them] So, how does this thing work exactly? How do I move?
Pandora: Oh, that's easy. Just pull that cord under your seat, and it will trigger the engine to start.
[Sadie reaches under her seat and pulls on a cord. A harsh, metallic sound exploded from within the back engine, causing flames to shoot out from the exhaust pipes. Almost instantly, the back wheels start to spin, and Sadie blasts off in the Land Razing Locomotive of EVIL]
Sadie: SHIT! HOLY SHIT! AAAAAAHHHHHH!
[Saga the Chronicler will be honest with her dear readers, she cannot begin to accurately explain what happens next. It consists of Sadie Mailet frantically twisting and pulling on levers as the locomotive spins and races wildly across the open land, leaving burnt grass in its wake]
Pandora: Woo! That's the spirit, Sadie! Push my baby to her limits!
Sadie: I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaa—
[Sadie Mailet disappears into the distance with only the roaring of the engine a signal of her sudden departure]
Pandora: [gasps] Sadie! NO! [follows the scorch marks] You were supposed to stay in the area! BRING MY BABY BACK!
Saga: I'm beginning to think Jason gives her one too many liberties with these tests.
Pandora: You know, Jason should really lighten up on the whole "no murdering people" angle. I don't know what the big deal is. He makes it sound like he had some traumatizing experience with murder or something. This is war we're talking about Jason! War! [clears throat] So, I decided to get an expert opinion about assassination by one of the few Foresters who has no moral quandary against it. Our resident ninja, Shingo!
[Shingo Mochizuki drops down from the ceiling and bows]
Shingo: I am honored to be here, Day. What business do you have that requires my expertise? [looks around nervously] It doesn't involve me being tied up or thrown into a tight space, right?
Pandora: Nope!
Shingo: Thank goodness…
Pandora: Shingo, as a member of the Mochizuki Clan, what do you say is the most important thing about being a ninja?
Shingo: [stares intensely at the floor] Staying in the shadows at all costs, otherwise you may end up botching a mission because you messed up protocol and bringing shame to your family name, forcing all of us to retreat from our ancestral home and go into hiding while the emperor's elite guard hunt you down under orders of execution…
Pandora: [blinks in bewilderment] Uh…wow. I was talking more about assassination, actually.
Shingo: Huh? Oh, right. [clears throat] One key element to assassination is knowing your environment. There are two key practices to being a ninja: infiltration and blending into the public. One must know how to break into a building without leaving a trace as well as walking among the common man by assimilating yourself into your disguised role. Are you dressed as a traveling monk or priest? You must EMBODY your disguise down to the littlest detail.
Pandora: Still talking about assassination here.
Shingo: Oh. My apologies. There are many tools to assassination. A common tactic is to spike a drink with poison using naturally grown plants. The key to being a ninja is to use whatever is available to you and—
Pandora: Yeah, yeah, yeah, great stuff! Feast your eyes on—
[Pandora pulls away tarp, revealing an inkwell sitting atop a pedestal. Saga the Chronicler is getting flashbacks to the Exploding Bread]
Pandora: The Corrosive Inkwell of Evil! Picture this, Shingo. You're writing letters to your family or an informant that must be kept top secret. Everyone uses ink to write. It's a daily part of writing in this day and age. Ah, but accidents can happen, right? Like say ink getting on the skin from writing so long. When they least expect it, the ink will melt their skin off and kill them on the spot!
Shingo: [stares at the inkwell] Day, we already have something like this.
Pandora: [blinks] Pardon?
Shingo: We have tainted ink, but it's used for poisoning, not corroding. An acidic ink would be noticed once it starts corroding the writing utensil. And even then, you can survive having acid splashed on your hand, especially if you clean it off fast enough. Poison is much more efficient.
Pandora: [blinks twice] Huh. I…wasted an entire week coming up with that design and overlooked that part.
Shingo: Are you alright, Day?
[Pandora calmly grabs the inkwell off the pedestal and smashes it across the floor, which begins to sizzle. She turns and walks away]
Pandora: You can leave now, Shingo. I'm going to cry for ten or twenty minutes.
Shingo: Um, have fun with that?
Pandora: So, as you may recall, I stated I had multiple alternative designs for the sky slayer. The wingsuits have proven they require a bit more…testing. Plus, since they're required for multiple body types, I've decided to improve the design by going in a "one-size fits all" approach.
Saga: So, you made another wingsuit?
Pandora: Aha! Not a wingsuit! Something better. Behold!
[Pandora bites down on tarp and throws it off. Underneath is a twin-barrel pack with an attached harness. Saga the Chronicler already hears the alchemical potions slushing around inside the invention, so this already bodes misfortune]
Pandora: Oh, how little faith you have in me. Anyway, behold! The Sky Conqueror! A miniature version of the sky slayer transformed into an on-demand flying device. By using the pressure created from the potions loaded into this baby, it'll create enough energy to propel any land-locked creature into the sky. By using their very body as the steering mechanism, they can achieve wingless flight!
Saga: Oh yes, that doesn't sound dangerous at all.
Pandora: Of course, I thought it was only fitting that a certain flying enthusiast should test my invention. Please welcome my next assistant: Brooklyn!
[Brooklyn Fowler steps into view, unsteadily waving her wings as if she was actually in front of an audience. She is perhaps the only person who is playing along with Pandora's insanity]
Pandora: Ignoring that. Anyway, welcome! How do you feel, Brooklyn?
Brooklyn: [skips on her talons excitedly] Oh, I always look forward to trying out new ways to fly. I'm really excited for your invention, Pandora. This could pave the way for all Flying-Types who feel like outcasts for not flying.
Pandora: Not exactly why I built this, but sure, yeah! You will be the first to fly without the use of your wings or wind! Give it a test drive, Brook!
Brooklyn: Can do!
[Brooklyn squats down and allows Pandora to strap her into the flying machine. Once she is hooked in, Brooklyn stands and moves around a bit to get a feel for the weight]
Brooklyn: A tad heavy, but manageable. [runs over to the other end of the laboratory and gets into position] Ready to fly, Pandora!
Pandora: Man, why can't I get more enthusiasm like this? Alright Brooklyn, just twist that dial on the left side of the sky conqueror, and the alchemical reaction will start up.
[Brooklyn bends her leg back and twists the dial. She braces herself as the barrel pack makes rather concerning sputters and hisses even from the other side of the laboratory. Soon, a jet of green flame bursts out from the tailpipe, and Brooklyn launches forward at speeds that Saga the Chronicler couldn't react to. Almost instantly, Brooklyn crosses the laboratory and slams into the far wall with the pack still breathing fire]
Pandora: GAH! [races over, twists the dial to stop the pack]
[Brooklyn collapses to the floor with her tail feathers and back of her uniform burnt black. She appears dazed]
Pandora: Uh, you good?
Brooklyn: That. Was. AWESOME! Let's do it again!
Pandora: [grins] Hell yeah, sister!
Saga: Oh no, there's two of them.
Pandora: One of the greatest tools for a scientist is imagination. It takes a creative mind to think of something that many couldn't comprehend despite being so obvious. Or, in some cases, improving upon an original design. That is why I've brought another commander of the Weald Rangers today, Enora Gagnon.
Enora: [waves] Uh, hello, Pandora's…evil minions? Wow, Ursula wasn't kidding, this is awkward. Ahem. So Pandora, what exciting invention are you suggesting will improve productivity for the Weald Rangers?
Pandora: I'm glad you asked. Presenting…The Multi-Armed Apparatus!
[Pandora removes a tarp, revealing a six-limbed harness complete with mechanical hands]
Enora: Oh, wow, it's…something. What am I looking at?
Pandora: [laughs] You see, I've done some research into the surgery behind prosthetic limbs. According to Tank, it's a special process conducted by talented Grass-Types who can link wooden appendages to the body and connect them seamlessly to the nerves. The nutrients and natural energy of a Pokémon, plus some special treatment done to the prosthetic, keeps it healthy and pristine almost indefinitely. So, I wondered if there was a way to make a design like that, but with multiple arms.
Enora: Oh. That's kind of interesting.
Pandora: As a fellow quadruped, you've had to deal with certain challenges regarding a lack of dexterous digits. Do you know how much of a strain it is to stretch your digits out to turn a doorknob?
Enora: [rolls her eyes] Ugh, don't remind me. Sometimes I have to use both my paws, which is difficult if I'm carrying something on my back.
Pandora: Exactly! Heck, I couldn't have built half these inventions without Tank's help! Shoutouts to Tank, who is no doubt my future evil inventor for the Pandora Evil Army.
Enora: Oh, and don't even get me started on eating. Everyone uses fancy utensils, but they're so uncomfortable to use with paws. I feel so self-conscious when I have to dip my head onto my plate. [blushes and giggles feverishly] Although, it has some perks, like my sweet Fabrice feeding me~. He's so thoughtful.
Pandora: [blushes as well] Huh. I wonder if I can ask Eadwulf to do that for me—AGH! Saga, don't copy that part down!
Saga: Of course not, Pandora.
[Saga the Chronicler totally copied that down…and made sure to mutter this part under her breath]
Pandora: Phew. Uh, back on topic. Y-Yes, as you can see, there are many challenges quadrupeds like us must face. That is why I invented the Multi-Armed Apparatus. It'll give us the evolutionary advantage we deserve.
Enora: You know, I was skeptical at first, but I'm totally on board with your invention! I'd be happy to test it out for you.
Pandora: Thank you! Finally, I thought Brooklyn was the only one who appreciated my genius. [gestures to a conveniently placed operation table] Now, I'm going to need you to lay down on your stomach and take your uniform off.
Enora: Uh, why?
Pandora: Well, like I said, this is based off the process of attaching prosthetic limbs. I've read up on as many medical reports as I could on how to perform the surgery.
Enora: S-Surgery? You?! Wait, what?!
Pandora: Well, duh. I have to surgically attach the harness to your spine and connect it to the right nerves. [grabs a saw and picks up a hammer in her teeth] Don't worry, I practiced on an anatomically correct Glaceon dummy.
[Enora only then notices the wooden dummy next to the operation table. It has a model of the apparatus fused to its back, but the dummy is also horribly scarred and mangled]
Enora: NOPE! I'm out. I'll take paw cramps over being permanently paralyzed. [races up the laboratory ladder and slams the hatch behind her]
Pandora: [groans, dropping her tools] Dammit. I knew I should've gone over more of the daily benefits.
Pandora: I've been going too easy on Virdis. My inventions were made with the express purpose of giving me tactical advantages over my enemies. They were designed to remind everyone who the true master is! But today, I unveil my greatest invention! One designed for mass destruction and torment! It will bring down all my enemies and turn them to dust!
Saga: Oh my, she's getting serious now.
Pandora: I present to you the instrument of evil and ultimate subjugation that will make me the unstoppable Overlord of Virdis! Behold—
[Pandoras pulls away the tarp, revealing a massive metallic cannon. The back of the cannon possesses a large bowl filled to the brim with mixed potions]
Pandora: The God Incineration Cannon! This device is loaded with the most potent, volatile potions imaginable that have been expertly crafted for the sole purpose of expelling pure, concentrated destruction. Anything set within the path of this beast will be wiped off the face of Virdis with only their ashes remaining! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Saga: That is…oh my.
Pandora: Oh, indeed! [jumps atop the cannon and pats it] This baby will output a hundred times the destructive power as a single Hyper Beam. To fully demonstrate its superior ability, I've asked the most volatile, destructive member of the Foresters to match its power with their own! Presenting the harbinger of destruction herself, the unbridled fury, the terror that buzzes in the night: Petra!
[Attention is drawn to Petra Anker, who is currently nibbling on a cookie]
Petra: Hmm? Oh, hi Pandora! Thanks for the cookie. It's SOOOOOO good! Mmm~!
Pandora: Look at her. Pure evil behind those cute, adorable eyes. It's enough to make me shed a tear of pride.
Petra: I love helping my friends!
Pandora: That you do, Petra. Thank you for lending your power for this experiment.
Petra: [tilts her head] Are you sure this is safe? I don't want anyone to get hurt.
Pandora: Nonsense! Besides, next to Jason, you're the only Forester who can easily dodge the blast if something goes awry.
Petra: [beams] Well, if you say so! [salutes] Happy to help, Pandora!
Pandora: [rubs her paws together with an evil smile] This will be my debut as the Supreme Overlord of Virdis. Oh, I'm getting tingly just thinking about it. Saga, I want you to record every little second of this moment!
Saga: [already hiding behind a pre-made barrier] Can do.
[Pandora reaches down and pulls on a cord, starting up the alchemical reaction. The potions loaded inside begin got sputter and hiss, causing the entire cannon to shake]
Pandora: Yes. YES! Petra, when I say fire, launch your Hyper Beam!
Petra: Aye, ma'am! [pulls her hands back and charges the attack]
Pandora: Get ready, history! You're about to witness the beginning to pure chaos! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! [The cannon begins to light up under her] MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA—
[Pandora freezes as the cannon stops shaking and immediately falls apart under her. The potions leak out onto the floor, hissing with steam, yet no volatile reaction occurred. The insides of the cannon are currently melting onto the floor]
Pandora: [blinks twice] Huh. Okay, turns out mixing random explosive potions together doesn't necessarily mean they'll make a big explosion. Just a lot of heat.
Saga: Brilliant work, Professor. Absolutely stunning demonstration.
Pandora: [scowls] One more smart comment out of you, and you're fired!
Petra: Fire? FIRE!
Pandora: [eyes widen as the laboratory becomes brighter] Oh shi—
Pandora: [burnt fur and wrapped in bandages] Alright. Picture this! Your ally is behind enemy lines gathering vital intel for a top-secret mission. However, GASP! The enemy is onto them, and they scour the base, leaving your ally pinned in their hiding place looking for a way out. You don't have a telepath with you to relay information. How can we rectify this?
Saga: Better planning?
Pandora: Technically correct, but not the point! Behold!
[Pandora removes a tarp, revealing a bulky box with antennae, a repurposed brass horn sticking out from the right side, and a turn crank attached to the left. It had a long cable that extends off the table and wraps up the laboratory ladder]
Pandora: The Long-Distance Communication Device! How does it work, you may ask? Well, I've been doing research into the correlation between electricity and sound. Sound is created through the vibrations in the air, and how they vibrate produces the sound we hear. I believe that by using electricity to stimulate the air, it can produce sound. The mechanisms in this box were designed to replicate sounds as precisely as possible via the electricity. But that's not all. This cable transmits the electricity to another one of these boxes. This crank provides the electricity to power the device. If it works, my ally will be able to hear me from the other end.
Saga: How would this even remotely work in the example setting you provided? Someone's going to see the cable.
Pandora: Appreciate my genius before you call out my flaws, please? [sighs and grins] Anyway, I asked Sid to take the other box aboveground to test the obvious genius of my design.
Saga: This should be good.
Pandora: [starts turning the crank fast and speaks into the horn] Hello Sidney! Come in, Sidney! This is Pandora Day reporting in! Is my invention amazing or what?
Sidney and Rusty sat atop a tree branch with the strange-looking mechanical box sitting between them. They waited and waited for something to come through. According to Pandora, it was supposed to produce her voice from it.
"Hmm…" Sidney poked the horn a bit before glancing at Rusty. "You think it's broken?"
The bucket silently stared back at her.
"Yeah, you're right. We should give it a few more minutes." She leaned back on her hands and gazed up at the sky. "So, what do you want to talk about, Rusty?"
The bucket silently stared back at her.
She giggled. "Come on, don't say that! You should really be nicer to Jet. Sure, he's a little grouchy, but—"
SCREEEEEECH!
"AAAAAHHHH!" Sidney kicked the mechanical box and sent it crashing into the tree across from her. It smashed to pieces and went clattering onto the ground below. She gazed down at the wreckage before turning to Rusty. "If she asks, Jet broke it."
Saga: I'm beginning to think you're running out of ideas.
Pandora: I am not!
[The last invention Pandora showcased for her invention log was…a giant slingshot. That was about it. A giant forked stick with a comically large elastic band set up outside the forest being pulled back by Hedwig. Pandora was sitting inside the band with safety equipment on]
Pandora: This will revolutionize travel, I guarantee it!
Saga: You said the same thing about your faulty offroad locomotive.
Hedwig: [growls, digging her feet deep into the earth as the strain on her arms became apparent] How much…further?
Pandora: Eh, maybe another meter.
Hedwig: I don't know what that means.
Pandora: A yard?
Hedwig: Yes, I suppose this is a yard we're standing in.
Pandora: Oh brother…
Saga: [shakes her head] I don't even want to know where you got the giant rubber band from.
Pandora: Look, if there's one thing my grandfather taught me, the best inventions are the simplest ones.
Saga: But the slingshot was already invented.
Pandora: Not like this, it hasn't! [points to the horizon] Besides, my calculations are flawless. There's a cushioned landing pad set up in the exact spot I'll be landing. I'm so confident of this that I've loaded myself into the slingshot instead! [pouts] That, and everyone I asked to test it refused.
Saga: Shocking.
Pandora: Alright, this is good, Hedwig! [adjusts her goggles] Today, I make history!
Hedwig: [groans] If you say so!
Pandora: On the count of three! One, two—
[Just then, Eadwulf walks out onto the field]
Eadwulf: Hey Pandora. I heard you needed help with your inventions. I have some free time.
Pandora: [gasps] EADWULF! [jumps out of her seat and leaps off Hedwig's face] HI! [wags her tail]
[Saga the Chronicler wishes for the readers to imagine little hearts forming in Pandora's eyes for that is basically the rundown of what is happening]
Pandora: [seethes at Saga] Knock it off!
Hedwig: Uh, Pandora—
[Hedwig loses her footing and is catapulted into the sky. Her howling could be heard as she arches over the horizon]
Pandora: [staring up at the sky in horror] Uh…
Eadwulf: [blinks in bewilderment] I…should go make sure she's okay. [runs after the flying Lycanroc]
Pandora: [covers her face and collapses to the ground] WAAAAAAH! That was so embarrassing!
[And so ends the wonderful accounts of Pandora's Invention Log. Join us for Volume 2 where Pandora sets the entire forest on fire trying to make romantic exploding candles for Eadwulf]
Pandora: SILENCE!