ah...several points of view. They're self-explanatory.
There isn't a point where either one can agree. Fai-san refuses to believe he feels anything he doesn't want to, even though he knows he does, and Kurogane-san doesn't know how to make his messages heard. So they dance around the point and make everything more difficult, and I wonder how either of them can survive holding onto something so fragile without encouragement. One of them, if not both, has got to give in soon. They can't stay at such odds, with such intensity, for so long. Either they've got to let go or make it work. And it's their choice.
I can only watch.
--
I wonder what Fai-san would have acted like, had he been alone with Kurogane-san for this part of the journey. He's held himself together for Sakura and forced himself to forgive my double for my sake. Because of us, he hasn't had the chance to express himself fully. I wonder if he ever will.
I know there's been something going on between the mage and the ninja since it first started showing. A special kind of animosity that lacked any kind of hatred and thus grew into something else, for lack of better description. While my double didn't have the attention for them with Sakura around, I saw many things that I have a feeling few others did. I don't know if Sakura saw. She is aloof now, and it's not my place to ask her.
But for her sake, my sake, and their sake too, I hope Fia-san and Kurogane-san can sort themselves out soon.
--
We're alone again, and again I'm resisting the urge to tell you things. Important things. But I can't tell you anything, because most of anything has to do with you, and I don't…
I don't know.
I'm not meant to feel like this, feel anything, but that hasn't stopped me before and it isn't stopping me now. I don't want to believe that I could feel anything for you, but I'm afraid it's too late for that.
Are you trying to wait me out? Or am I missing something you're saying? Am I as deaf to you as you are to me?
It's like Yama, except worse because now we can speak, but still we say nothing.
--
Are you going to keep looking so desperate?
You're not completely closed off for once, but your mask is as present as it's ever been. I want to wipe it clean, but if this blankness is your mask, then what are you? I'm almost afraid to find out, because I've been hoping you're not completely changed.
But someone's got to do something soon, or we'll all collapse under the tension.
Can I snap you out of it? Will you forgive me afterwards? Or will there even be an afterwards?