A/N: Alright guys, heres the next enstallment...I should have more in a day or so, but that depnds on school. For now... enjoy

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Chapter 5

Edward laid Bella in her bed in the guest room and covered her up, for the first time wishing he had one in his room. He knew he could still sit with her, watch her sleep and hold her but it wouldn't be the same as having her in his room. As he hummed to her, watching as she fell deeper into sleep and making a note to find a bed for his room, so she could stay with him. He kissed her forehead as he slid out from under her, and hit the light as he closed the door. There was a lot going through is mind, he headed to Carlisle's office, hoping his father could help him figure it out.

"Edward, there was something you wanted to discuss?" Carlisle said as Edward took the seat across from him.

"Bella wants me to change her." He started and Carlisle nodded. "But I'm scared for her. The change is excruciating and I don't want to feel her in pain, especially for something I'm doing to her. I can't cause her that pain."

"I'm not going to sugar coat it, you know its painful. It will be for her as well and it will feel prolonged being as our sense of time is different and she won't be use to that."

"I know, but what if I can't do it? What if I'm not strong enough o stop? I could kill her and then what? What do I do when she's gone because of me?"

"I've seen you stop and I know you can. You just need to believe you can do it."

"But I don't think I can do it. That's the problem, how do I endanger her life?"

"I wouldn't even let you attempt it if you weren't sure Bella is important to all of us. She is family, to me, your mother and everyone else. None of us will allow you to put her in danger, you have to know that."

"Yes and that's the problem, I won't trust myself or anyone else." Carlisle looked at Edward and processed what he said, all the ways to take it running through his head until he came to the one that made sense.

"Bella wants me to change her?" Carlisle asked confused.

"Ya, but its out of the question." Edward growled and sat there as he heard all the things that continued to run through Carlisle's mind.

"You don't trust me do you?"

"If it was my life, absolutely. But hers -- I just can't, she's too important to me. She's my life, just as Esme is yours. Can you honestly tell me you trust someone with Esme's life?" He said and Carlisle didn't answer, just moved his gaze to his desk. "Exactly so why does everyone think its so easy for me to do that with Bella?"

"Edward you two are dangerous to one another. I know you don't intend to be, that's the problem. The closer you are to her the better control you have, but it also means there are new -- and different obstacles to over come." He said and Edward looked away, knowing what Carlisle was trying to say but couldn't. He listened as Carlisle tried to work out everything else in his head, trying to put the last few days events into some sort of order and always ended on the same confusing point.

"I can't explain why I didn't lose it when I seen my car. If it was anyone else, we both know there would have been no stopping me. But then I looked at her, and all the anger I had dissipated and…" he paused, not sure how to finish.

"I was preparing for WWIII."

"If it was Emmet or Jasper, you would have needed to, but being as it was Bella, there was no need. I knew if she did it, then she had a reason. I don't know, being with her is just right. It's calming to have her near me, I can't be upset with her, no matter what she did. Especially after what I did to her, what I put her through, I owed her that much."

"That's it?"

"I know it makes no sense. I overreacted and she wanted to talk. That was always she wanted from me, was to listen to her, talk about what we're going to do and I couldn't do that. I couldn't give her that. No instead I wall up and then run out. That's why she was so angry, she thought I was leaving her."

"But you didn't," Carlisle started and Edward cut him off.

"She didn't know that, that just shows how apart we really are. We are right next to one another and I still feel like there is still so much that is tearing us apart. She doesn't trust me and she's afraid of what is going to happen tomorrow or the next day."

"Can you blame her?"

"No, I did leave. But I would never do that again, to either of us." He said and Carlisle nodded. "I will never abandon her again, it isn't in me."

"I know that, and I hear you even proposed to her?"

"Ya that dint work, not that I thought it would. I just thought, she would realize how long I've been thinking of her, missing her." He said, starting to play with his hands and Carlisle waited for him to continue. "I have been holding on to that ring for a while now, and I hoped she would see that I was serious."

"Just because she knows you are serious, that you would marry her, it still doesn't make all the trust issues go away. They are still there, and still need to be dealt with in one way or another."

"How? How do I make it better?"

"You need to be there, let things happen for the two of you and stop trying to rush them. That will only make things worse in the end." He said and Edward nodded, "but either way whether you try to take things slow or rush them along. Eventually you are going to have to change her, I don't see how it could work any other way."

"I know that, but it can't happen now. I can't do it, we both know I can't do it." He said and started to get up, "so until then I guess things will have to stay the way they are."

"Not for too long, she is going to start aging, and then what?"

"I know, but I still have a little time. I just want her to think about it, how she felt at 17 and how she feels now are two very different things."

"Then talk to her, and listen!" He said and Edward nodded.

"I know, but first I have something to take care of with Jasper and Emmet." He said and Carlisle shook his head. "Yep we are really going to get rid of that god forsaken truck once and for all and get her a reliable car." He said and Carlisle shook his head.

"You two truly are unique." He said and Edward left, finding his brothers in the hallway."

"Alice said you'd need us?" Jasper said and Edward nodded.

"Want to help me dispose of Bella's ancient truck?" He said and they both smiled. "Thought you would be into that idea, come one we better go before she wakes up and tries to stop me." He said and they all took off for the campus, fully intending to take the truck somewhere else to destroy it. As they pulled the truck into a clearly Emmet started to laugh as he jumped up into the bed of it.

"It still amazes me how well this thing has held together, I mean its ancient." He joked and Jasper started to laugh.

"You know, we could give it the same treatment she gave your Volvo?" He suggested and Edward cringed at the memory.

"Can we not discuss that?" He said and watched as Emmet knocked out the windshield. "It's too painful to think of."

"Come on Eddie, it was priceless. I only wish I could have seen it." Emmet said and watched as Edward went to hit him, but only ended up hitting the car and denting it.

"Oh it was man, I was there and it still amazed me. She had a lot of rage in her, I tried to calm her down, figured it would lesson the damage, but she insisted I didn't. Kept saying you two needed to work things out."

"Ya well I shouldn't have walked out, but that doesn't matter she's right. We needed a fresh start, and this," he paused to damage the hood, "is just the thing we needed."

The three of them joke back and forth, taking turns smashing the truck to bits until they all were satisfied it was done properly before they headed back to the house. They were still laughing and joking when they walked in to find Rosalie and Alice sitting in the living room.

"What took you so long?" Rosalie asked and Alice just sat there.

"Well we were having fun, its not too often we get to ruin something without anyone yelling at us." Emmet said and Jasper just shook his head, not liking the emotions he was getting and Edward was cringing with the thoughts he was getting from Rosalie and Emmet.

"That is my cue to leave," he said and pulled Alice with him. Edward hid upstairs to his sleeping Bella. She seemed upset, like she was having a bad dream. He made his way over and wrapped her up in his arms, softly humming to her again making her relax in his arms.

"Its alright, I'm here." He whispered to her and kissed her forehead as she pulled herself closer to him. He just smiled as he held her, knowing in the morning there was still a lot to work through. Starting with her living arrangements!