Note: I'm sure this is the long awaited chapter, a present chapter from Bella's POV! This chapter should also explain explicitly the title. *winks*
GRAVITATION
by Yih
"Love—is anterior to Life—
Posterior—to Death—
Initial of Creation, and
The Exponent of Earth—"
- Emily Dickinson
13. In a Gilded Cage
Seattle 2008
Bella POV
"So," Edward said after we had said goodbye to Angela, "do you live nearby?"
We were walking from the gross lab, making our way out of the medical school building, both of us smelling strongly of formaldehyde and cadaver, which thankfully I couldn't smell at all anymore as my nose had been overpowered hours ago much to my relief. I glanced sideways at him, marveling at how gorgeous he was. I had met many vampires from my travels, from my many years of existence and he was the epitome of masculine beauty.
I feared I paled in comparison to him.
"Not really," I said, not because I was trying to hide anything, but because it was the truth and yet at the same time, I couldn't let myself allow him to know too much.
It was bad enough that he was also a vampire. If he were a human, he would be insignificant – meaningless. But because he was a vampire, because he was everything that was like me, I could let myself become close to him to both of our detriment. I would confess quite freely that I was drawn to him. There was something about him that made my heart begin to race, caused my soul to sing…!
"Bella?" Edward said, my name sounding so different from his lips.
I turned to look at him, feeling myself being trapped by his intense gaze. I had an inkling that I might not be the only one who was feeling this connection between us, but what if what I was feeling was so much more than what he was feeling? And it was ridiculous anyhow, this strong emotion from knowing someone for scarcely any time at all. It took years to really know someone, decades for a vampire. Even centuries of knowing Alistair and Carlisle, I still learned new things about them all the time.
The few days I had known Edward were only milliseconds in our lifetime.
"I'd really like to get to know you better," he said, smiling, his posture suddenly awkward, which didn't seem like him at all.
I stared at him, thinking how could someone so gorgeous be so adorable at the same time?
"We have four years," I remarked, feeling silly to say the obvious and yet not really knowing what else to say. "All of medical school."
"That's true," he remarked. "What I meant to say is, could we spend some time together… outside of class? Outside of this?"
Edward waved his hand at the space around us, his eyes filled with an emotion that I could not name. I did not understand it. What did his gaze truly mean?
Did I want it to mean what it might mean? I wasn't sure. I did want to get to know Edward more, certainly I felt drawn to him, but at the same time – it wasn't wise, even if it was tempting. I could have someone, like Carlisle had Esme.
What was I even thinking? There was no indication Edward felt that way about me.
"What I am saying," Edward said softly, "is this… would you like to go on a date with me?"
Or maybe, he did.
"Why?" I asked, although yes had also been on the tip of my tongue.
"Because," he murmured, his voice lowering with intent before he smiled and broke the intensity, "just because."
I had been expecting, I don't know, something more than that, and yet, also a little fearful for what he might say. It was as he had chosen exactly the right words so I didn't freeze up on him and withdrawn myself inward to protect myself. His intuition was still working, even though his gift of mind reading was being blocked by my powers as a shield.
And yet, how could I go on a date with him when I was chained?
I retained a measure of free will, but only because I was a willing pawn in their chess game. It was not like I hated my life. Because of my sacrifice, I had kept my family safe… given Carlisle a chance to find his true love and allowed Alistair the opportunity to roam to his heart's content. I was satisfied with my life.
But that didn't mean I would wish my life on anyone else and it wasn't like I was alone or even lonely. I had my family and my friends… I didn't need to draw him into my world just because I was attracted to him.
"How about it?" Edward asked.
I almost forgot what he meant by his question. The date, of course. I was about to answer, about to refuse, when my cell phone rang. I smiled apologetically and dug into my bag for my cell phone.
"Hello?"
"I'm waiting," Demetri said. "Where are you?"
I flushed, realizing I had forgotten about my keeper and my best friend. I bit my bottom lip and wondered what plausible excuse I could give. Demetri might not be a mind reader, but he was astute in sifting through my lies from my truths – the perk of knowing me for nearly two hundred years.
"Lab took longer than I expected," I said, which was entirely true. How was I supposed to know how long it would take? "I'll be there soon."
"Hurry," Demetri said before he hung up.
I stuffed my cell phone back into my bag. "I have to go," I told Edward. "My ride is waiting for me."
I didn't even give him a chance to speak before I ran away from him. It was easier, I thought, escaping. You didn't have to answer questions; you didn't have to explain; you didn't have to make poor excuses for your actions. And besides, even though I knew what I should say, I was sorely tempted to answer in a manner that would be potentially disastrous.
"Bella!" Edward called, grabbing me by my arm.
I instinctively tore myself from his grasp. I whirled around and went into a defensive pose that I had been taught by Alistair.
"I'm sorry," Edward said, holding his hands up in a way that indicated he meant no harm. "I just, I don't want you to go."
But I had to go!
"But I know you have to go," Edward continued and sighed. "Will you at least consider it? Going on a date with me?" He ran a hand through his disheveled hair. "I really would like to get to know you better because honestly… there's something about you that draws me to you and…"
He ducked his head down with embarrassment and I found it rather cute, although I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate that thought.
"I'll think about it," I said because I didn't have the heart to deny what we both wanted for some reason.
"Great!" he exclaimed, the smile that suddenly appeared on his face transforming it. Edward pulled out a pen and scrap of paper, quickly jotting something on it. "Here," he said, "it's my number. Call me."
I took it and held it tightly in my fist. "I'll call," I promised.
"I'll be waiting then."
I stared into his golden eyes, wondering why we were being pulled together, to each other. Was this truly fate? Or was it nothing more than physical attraction? Because he was certainly the most beautiful vampire I had ever seen…
"I have to go," I said.
"Goodbye," he murmured.
"Goodbye," I echoed.
I-5 2008
"Are you going to tell me the reason why we're driving to Canada?" I asked.
Demetri glanced at me and shook his head. He had that knowing smirk on his face that I so detested. "No can do," he said. "I'm afraid I have strict orders not to relay anything to you."
"I already reported to both Aro and Caius in Volterra a month ago," I remarked.
"That you did."
I narrowed my eyes, staring hard at Demetri, trying to figure out what was going on. "Is Jane checking up on me?"
No matter how civil I tried to be with Jane, we did not get along. I had given up a century ago of ever becoming friends with her. I did not hate her as much as she seemed to hate me, but I shared negative feelings for her.
Jane had been Aro's favorite, his special one, until I had come along and stolen a bit of her thunder. I didn't even want to be Aro's favorite. I just became one of his favorites. It wasn't like Aro stopped favoring Jane. He just also gave me the special treatment that she received with her twin brother, Alec.
"I cannot tell you," Demetri said. "Stop asking."
I grumbled and Demetri had the gall to chuckle. "Your curiosity," he said, "will be satisfied shortly."
"You would hardly like it if you were in my situation."
"That's true," he said, reaching over to ruffle my hair. "You get my empathy, but I still won't tell you. I have promises to keep."
"Fine, fine," I muttered.
"That's my girl."
Vancouver 2008
"So we're in Vancouver," I said for the lack of anything better to say, even though the destination had become quite clear fifty miles ago, after we finally entered the city limits, "care to explain what we're doing here?"
"You'll find out soon enough."
"Demetri!"
"And," he said, screeching the car to a stop, "we're here."
I stepped out of the car and I saw a familiar person standing with his back toward me. I would know the breadth of those shoulders anywhere. I took off running, my arms reaching forward, and he turned around at just the perfect moment so I could leap into his welcoming embrace.
"Alistair!" I exclaimed, burying my face into the crook of his neck. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"
"Sometimes a surprise is good, is it not?"
I hit his chest with my fist. "Why didn't you come to Seattle? Why Vancouver?"
"I thought you would like to see this," Alistair remarked, pulling me from his arms, but not letting go of me. "Look."
It was only then I noticed the paradise I was standing in. I have seen the naturalistic gardens of quaint English estates and the pristine majesty of French botanical gardens, but I had never seen such fiery red leaves before. They were breathtaking and worthy of the fall season.
"It's gorgeous."
"They're Japanese maple trees," Alistair said. "You should come back in the spring. They have cherry blossoms here and you'll see the prettiest shade of pink. One day I'll have to take you to Ueno Park and you will thousands of cherry blossoms."
One day was the keyword. It was only with Aro's approval that I was even allowed to study medicine in Seattle and only because Demetri had agreed to accompany me. I turned back and saw Demetri still standing by the car, watching over our reunion. I motioned for him to join us, but he politely shook his head. I saw the brief wink. Demetri understood me as well as Alistair and Carlisle did now.
Because the two of us were always together. He was my constant companion.
I wonder if it was his choice? I had never asked and he had never volunteered the information. I hadn't wanted to know why Alistair had made me, although eventually I had wanted the answer. This time, I was certain I did not want to know.
I would choose to believe that Demetri stayed by me because we were friends.
After all, he had let me escape all those years ago…
Too bad the Volturi had been relentless and we had only managed to evade them for two short years before they caught up to us and Aro finally got what he wanted – for me to become part of the guard. Alistair had wanted to offer his skills as a tracker, but I had begged him not to. I didn't want him to be bound like I was. It would have made him miserable.
And it was not all that bad, I thought, being part of the Volturi. I had the world as my playground as long as Aro gave me the permission. I wanted for nothing. I had friends who understood me and even though they might not understand my unwillingness to feed on human blood, they at least permitted me my eccentricity.
"Isabella," Alistair said and I had no idea how long he had been calling my name, "are you happy?"
He always asked me this question when he saw me, in his letters he sent, on the occasions he called me and I always answered the same, "Of course, why wouldn't I be?"
To be continued…
Please review and maybe I'll update soon! (perhaps even later this week, if I get enough motivation!)
A/N: I realize that it has been a really long time since the last update, but I was busy studying for my USMLE Step 1 (which is a mega important test for medical students) and after that was done, I was getting ready to begin my 3rd year. And honestly, I didn't quite know what to write for this chaper because even though everything I've written has been leading up to this moment, it wasn't exactly easy putting it into words.
I couldn't very well use Bella's POV in the present until I was ready to make the revelation that Bella is part of the Volturi and doesn't exactly possess free will to do what she wants with her life. I also hope you like how I have brought Alistair and Demetri into the present timeline. Carlisle will be joining soon and the main story will be starting now that we have gotten the pieces assembled. Thank you for those who are still reading and I hope this new development only piques your interest even more!
Released: 9/6/2009