Author's Notes: Back from travels, ready to update! Sorry for the delay

Chapter Twenty-Two

Surprisingly, the foreign planet had a dense forest with leaves that were oranges and yellows. As Starfire directed her woozy sister through the tree branches, they discovered a river slinking through the forest. The water was icy cold. Slowly, Starfire laid Blackfire down on the embankment who cringed and winced with each move. The blood was coming more rapidly from her ribcage where she suffered a terrible, burning wound that oozed. Starfire used the chilling water in an effort to bring Blackfire comfort and wash the grime off her. Blackfire let out a wheezy cough, blood now splattering her lips. Starfire only stared for a beat before she continued working on washing Blackfire.

"You know, you don't have to do that..." Blackfire's voice was hoarse and ragged. "There's no point, Starfire."

"You are filthy," Starfire said, cupping her hands as she knelt on the embankment of the river. "This will help."

Blackfire's shaking hand came to grip Starfire's wrist, spilling all the chilly water from her palms. Starfire's large emerald eyes looked to her sister. Her face was growing more and more pale by the moment it seemed. "I've lost too much blood, Star... I've been floating through the galaxy for weeks trying to find my way back. There's nothing you can do." Her dim amethyst eyes looked up at the foreign sky, her hand weakly losing grip on Starfire's wrist. "It's better this way, anyhow..." She cringed as a wave of pain wracked her body and she let out an uneven sigh. "After everything I've done... it's only right I go out with Yalfore. Our plans didn't come to fruition, so this is the only real punishment that seems fitting."

"Do not speak so disparagingly of yourself, Blackfire," Starfire was on all fours as she peered closer to her older sister. "Everyone makes mistakes. But I do not believe death is ever a suitable punishment for what has been done. You cannot give up now, sister."

Blackfire smiled weakly and sighed, a rattle racing up her throat. "You weren't there when Mom and Dad died... tell me... have you ever watched someone die, Starfire?"

Starfire sat back now, holding her fidgeting hands in her lap. She pursed her lips as she looked at Blackfire's bleak state. "I have not, no..."

"Well, I'm honored to be your first," Blackfire said before she broke into more coughs. Starfire felt numb as she now sat beside Blackfire and stretched her legs outward on the embankment. She hugged her knees close to her as she observed the silent forest around them. Who lived here? What was this planet? Starfire fingers nervously ran all over her knees as she kept stealing glances at Blackfire. Though she and her sister had never had the closest relationship, the young Tamaranean was having a hard time grappling with the idea that she would be gone forever. The cycle of life truly could be very complicated and unforgiving. Blackfire's dim eyes glanced to her nervous sister. "You know... you don't have to stay, though. I'm prepared to die on my own."

Starfire's entire body tensed and she shook her head. "I will not leave you, sister. I want to be here to comfort you."

Blackfire sighed, looking up to the sky again. "I don't know why. I've done nothing but bring you grief. You don't have to be chivalrous at your own expense, Starfire."

"It is not chivalry," Starfire said, lowering her chin to her knees. She watched the river whisk by them. "It is regret."

"And why would you feel the need to be regretful?" Blackfire sounded incredulous. "All your life, you've been a giving, thoughtful being."

"I regret that we could not have been more, sister," Starfire continued, looking at the still trees. "That in our lifetime together, we could never make true peace until the unkind end... We have always been different but we have also always been sister's. And like Mother and Father used to teach us, family is everything. That bond can never die, no matter how much we try to defy it. Even with everything that has happened between us, Blackfire, I will never forget you and will never stop regretting what happened between us. I will miss you every day of the rest of my life, I am certain."

Blackfire hugged her aching torso as another wave of pain overcame her. "I'm sorry, too, for what's happened. But once I'm gone... what will you do?"

Starfire shrugged, her crimson hair falling over her shoulders. "I do not know."

"Tamaran... or the Teen Titans...?"

She closed her emerald eyes and sighed as memories from both collided in her mind. "Neither one need me..."

"That's where you're wrong," Blackfire said as a stream of blood began to ooze from the corner of her mouth. "People care about you, Starfire. I, for one, know that Robin would go to the corners of the universe for you. And Wildfire will always need your support. You shouldn't be so down on yourself. You did everything right and still everything turned out wrong... and it's because of me, I know. All that effort I spent being vain, all the energy I wasted to try and change the fabric of my life... it wasn't worth it, Starfire. And it shouldn't come at the cost of your future or your happiness." Blackfire blinked rapidly as the searing pain in her ribcage began to radiate her entire body. "I was wrong. And you don't have to forgive me. In fact, I don't want you to."

Starfire's arms tightened around her knees and she bit down on her lip. "It is not you who has me questioning everything, Blackfire. It is my origin. When I made it to earth in the aftermath of the Gordanian Invasion, I felt so lost and meek. Even when I was with my friends, I felt like I did not truly belong. But when I went back to Tamaran all those months ago to ascend, I realized I felt the same way as I did those first few days on earth. I did not feel like I should have been there. Everything about Tamaran seemed so foreign and confusing. And it brought me great shame to think our parents died for us but I could not reciprocate the feeling of being inherently Tamaranean. I did not want to stay there. I felt trapped. Even if your intentions were warped, you did bring Wildfire back and, in a way, you saved me from the fate of being tied to Tamaran. But... I still cannot shake all that I have felt and realized. I do not want to live on Tamaran, but after all that has happened, it is hard to think about going back to earth..."

Blackfire coughed, sending blood down her chin and splattering across her torn clothes. She cleared her dry throat, now shaking on the ground. "But you're a hero on earth. Where you're from makes no difference for where you are now, Starfire. You have to learn to separate them."

"I am fearful I do not know who I am supposed to be anymore," Starfire shook her head. "I feel like I have lost that part of me. I am still trying to find it again..."

"You're not supposed to be anything more than just Starfire..."

Her red hair fell over her shoulder as she looked to Blackfire. She seemed to be fading and Starfire tensed up. Slowly, she reached for Blackfire's hand, lacing their fingers together. Starfire wished she knew what words to speak. Nothing seemed right in that moment or impactive. Tears began to bubble in Starfire's eyes as she was forced to confront a true nightmare. Just as she started to open her eyes, a familiar beeping came from her hip.

"What's that noise...?" Blackfire's voice was airy and strained. Slowly, Starfire's free hand came to the grip the communicator and she gave it a tug to free it from her belt. As she brought it eye level, she watched it blink over and over again. The very familiar amber nearly stung her. "They're looking for you," Blackfire croaked.

"But how...?" Starfire whispered, shaking her head. "I did not think this communicator would work so far."

"It's a sign... Starfire... it's telling you where you belong..."

She flipped the cover open, but the screen was muddled and full of static. Vaguely, though, she could see a flashing white dot, sending out waves of radio signal. It didn't seem that far away, but she couldn't be sure. Starfire silenced the pings and reattached the communicator to her hip, her heart beating wildly in her chest. As she stared across the river at the dense forest, she didn't know what was running through her mind. But she knew right there at the forefront was Robin. She had a feeling he had spear headed the search party.

"You have to go to them," Blackfire told her, her entire body shuddering as the blood slinked down the slanted slope towards the river. "You can't be like me, Starfire... always swinging rope to rope hoping for a chance at something. You can't listlessly wander for the rest of your life. If you turned out anything like me, you'd die the same way. Don't let me go in vain..."

Starfire pressed her hand to the stained grass beneath her as she shifted to look at Blackfire. "I will find you again in the cosmos one day, sister... With everything that has happened, you still were a hand in helping bring prosperity to Tamaran, whether you would like to deny that or not. I will not allow people to forget that, Blackfire. I know Mother and Father and Galfore will all be there to welcome you with open arms. And I will join you eventually so we can be sister's in eternity in a way our lifetime here together did not allow."

Blackfire smiled weakly as slowly her eyes began to loll backwards. Her eyelashes fluttered and her eyelids closed and in the next moment, she was completely still. Starfire was raging with heat as she looked over her sister's unmoving body. She then cast a glance all around, blinking rapidly, as if she forgot where she even was. Starfire hugged her knees and lowered her chin on top. She wanted to stay with Blackfire a bit longer, as if that would help the passage into the celestials. Her mind was buzzing as she tried to look into the future. She couldn't procure any thoughts that made sense, however. Everything just suddenly ceased to be clear. Perhaps it was grief. But still, Starfire didn't feel anymore at ease with herself, even after her conversation with Blackfire. She sighed heavily. Why did all of this have to happen, she wondered, casting a glance back at Blackfire. The sight made goosebumps pucker across her skin. What was it all for? What had Blackfire been thinking when she had joined forces with Yalfore? And what part of the plan defied her intentional goals? Those were things she'd never know. Starfire's emerald eyes resigned to watching the water flow by, hoping her sister's soul had lifted to join the stars beyond them.

...

In the T-Ship, all the occupants focused on flying and tapping on their consoles. Except Wildfire, however, who was mesmerized by the flashing screens and glowing buttons. Robin's hands were gripped tightly around his steering wheel as every five seconds, he looked to the radar on his left. The Teen Titans had never been this far into space. Cyborg was proud, of course, with how well the T-Ship performed in the deep galaxy. Everyone aboard, however, was silent in their communicators, focused on one thing only: setting sights on Starfire. As Robin tilted the ship and again checked the radar, he furrowed his brow and pressed his hand to his headset.

"She's still in the same place as she was when we took off. Planet B45-B2... what is this place?"

Wildfire felt around on his headset for a moment before his fumbling fingers finally found the intercom. "I do not know. What a strange name for a planet."

"Well, it's not it's real name," Cyborg replied as he looked over the ships vitals. "That's just a name some scientist on earth called it when they found it on a telescope."

"Humans can really see this far into galaxy?" Wildfire asked out loud, clearly amazed. "Why have your people not traveled these planes more greatly? Surely they'd have means such as your team."

"It's an expensive avenue," Raven said plainly. "And it's not very easy getting seven billion people to agree on one thing."

"Seven billion...?" Again, Wildfire's mind was blown. "And the humans do not know of our existence or anyone else's for that matter?"

"No. On our planet, Tamaran is called Planet A4-926," Cyborg explained. "They consider Tamaran desolate with few resources to justify impactive."

"It once was so lush... but I do not disagree with their thoughts now..."

"There it is," Robin said, staring grimly ahead. It was a small planet, but seemed to have fun colored flora and fauna, along with the natural resource of water. Slowly, Cyborg pulled the throttles back. Robin swiped along the screen as the T-Ships modular drew up a 3D incarnation of the little globe. "Starfire's on the northern side. Pinging coordinates to you now, Cyborg." After a beat, however, the leader realized the throttles weren't revving back up. "What's the delay?" Robin pressed his hand to his headset, furrowing his brow.

"I dunno," Cyborg shook his head. "Did we want to discuss possibilities of what we're going into? We don't know what kind of head space she's in right now, Robin. She could run from us. Starfire's been altered by all of this. We can't expect the happiest of reunions."

"Yeah, man. We're a long way from earth. She probably came here to be alone," Beast Boy piped up.

"She doesn't think we need or want her," Raven crossed her arms over her chest. "We have to approach this delicately, Robin."

Robin was silent, his eyes focusing on the pulsating dot on his screen that was Starfire. He knew she was conflicted. He had been there for sure. All he wanted was to pull her into his arms and make her realize everything would be okay. But Robin knew it would have taken more to convince himself back when his internal ruminations were manifesting themselves physically. Robin pursed his lips, looking back out of the pod at the planet before him. After a beat, he dialed a new coordinate to ping Cyborg. "We won't land right on top of her. We'll walk through the forest to get to her."

"Is there oxygen here?" Raven asked as slowly the engines began to groan back to life.

"Surprisingly, yes," Cyborg nodded, looking over his screens. "Those trees are weird colors, but they seem to have similar properties of trees on earth." He focused as he found a clearing to slowly ease the T-Ship into. As the pods opened, Robin perched on the edge of the shimmering orange panels and flipped his communicator open.

"She's not far. I wouldn't be surprised if she heard us," Robin said, looking over his shoulder.

"Does this place look familiar?" Beast Boy asked as he climbed down and looked to Wildfire.

"I have never been here," Wildfire shook his head as he approached a bustling orange bush. Slowly, he ran his fingers along the velvety leaves. "But it reminds me of the fauna on Tamaran before the Gordanian Invasion. It seems this planet looks a lot of what Tamaran used to be."

Cyborg came around the side of the ship, shifting through the screen on his arm. "For how far this little planet is from Tamaran, it sure does share a lot of DNA with your planet, Wildfire."

"How could that happen?" Wildfire furrowed his brow, turning to an ivy vine wrapped around the trunk of a tree, bursting with bright yellow flowers. "These looks just like the Juja flowers from my youth..."

"Maybe that's why Starfire came here," Robin began forward and paused, glancing to his communicator again. "After all she's been through, maybe she just wanted to come back to something she knew." Slowly, the four others started to follow in Robin's path as he ducked beneath low hanging purple branches and stepped over large rocks that sparkled with emerald greens. It was almost like walking through a vibrant child's tale. For Robin, though, he didn't take much care in his surroundings. The only task consuming his mind was finding Starfire. His heart pounded in his chest as he continued on. The sound of a river was growing near and the dot on his radar was getting larger. He hadn't seen Starfire in two months. He didn't quite know what to expect. But as he peeled back the final brush, he saw her slender body curled up with her face pressed to her knees. From where everyone stood meters off, they could see how deflated she was. Robin closed his communicator and took a few hesitant steps forward. "Starfire?"

She gasped sharply and looked up. Her face was tear stained, her entire body shaking. She rubbed at her rosy cheeks and looked away again, her eyes falling on Blackfire's still body. Starfire felt like she was underwater and unable to hear much as the scene unfolded. In the next moment, she felt Robin's arms coming around her and bringing her to her feet. Cyborg and Beast Boy had gone back to the T-Ship, returning with the emergency fire blankets. Wildfire collapsed to his knees, watching with a blank expression, as Blackfire was tenderly covered and wrapped up. Starfire hugged herself as she finally became more aware of Robin's fingers wrapped around her arm.

"What happened?" Robin asked quietly. Everyone's eyes were on the covered figure.

"Blackfire did what she promised. She killed Yalfore. But she was unable to overcome the damage he had done to her," Starfire explained, her glazed eyes cast down. "I found her when I left Tamaran and came here with her so she would not be alone when she passed on to the celestials."

"Star... I'm so sorry," Beast Boy shook his head, somewhat dazed.

"We'll make sure she is buried wherever you and Wildfire want her," Cyborg told her.

Wildfire's fingers brushed against the crusty, bloodstained grass. "In the end, sister was brave and noble. She must be buried with honors beside all the warriors who have fought and died for our legacy."

Starfire shivered beneath Robin's touch. "I believe, for now, sister should come back to earth with me."

"You are not returning to Tamaran...?" Wildfire lifted his chin. "But who will be my adviser?"

"Please, we can speak later," Starfire's voice was utterly lacking rhythm. "Right now, little brother, I only wish to go home."

"Home...?"

Starfire turned in the direction of the T-Ship and her boots crunched through the grass for a few steps before she paused and nodded. "Yes. Home."

...

When the T-Ship descended over Jump City, it was dawn. The sky was coming alive with vibrant swirls of pinks and oranges, breaking through the twilight of the night. As Starfire's tired, burning eyes spotted the tower, she didn't know exactly what she was feeling. Upending anxiety and grief still plagued her. But she thought deep down inside, perhaps there was a small glimmer of peace and relief washing over her. They docked in the lower quarter and Starfire slowly looked around the steel grated room with its tall, vaulted rafters. Wildfire had followed them in flight and helped oversee Beast Boy and Cyborg as they removed Blackfire's wrapped body from the ship. Starfire squeezed her eyes shut and turned around, hugging herself again. She was silent as she climbed the familiar stairs to be greeted by the long and twisty hallways of the place she had called home for years. As she walked, she looked to the shiny name plaques on the walls that showed all her friend's names. She came to an abrupt halt when she saw her own staring back at her. The corner room. Starfire had wanted it so much because of the amount of windows. But in that moment, she couldn't even will herself to go in. Starfire climbed another set of stairs, her boots echoing off the grating. When she emerged on the roof, the salty breeze greeted her. She let the door slam behind her as she tilted her face into the rising sun. There was so much on Starfire's mind, but she didn't even know what to think about. Blackfire's burial. The state and future of Tamaran. Her own presence on earth. Her friends and how she would explain everything. Starfire dangled her legs off the edge of the tower, watching the familiar white capped waves wash towards her. She didn't know what the coming days would bring and she felt totally unequipped. But she was at least able to find some solace in watching the sun rise alone that morning.

Eventually, Starfire peeled herself away from the brightening sky and made the descent back into the tower. Carefully, she came from the wing and pressed her hand to the cool threshold as she looked into the commons room. All the Titans and Wildfire were gathered at the breakfast bar. Starfire watched them silently. Robin made his typical arm gestures. Raven held her tea close and observed the conversation. Cyborg was busy making breakfast but looked over his shoulder and nodded accordingly. Beast Boy was sitting meekly on a stool, his hands tucked between his legs and his shoulders slumped. Wildfire was as straight as an arrow, looking intently at Robin.

"... it's up to her," Robin was saying as Starfire peaked around the corner. "Starfire's been through a lot. She deserves space and all the time she needs to think."

"Yes, I hear what you are saying," Wildfire replied, delicately drinking his tea, brewed to perfection by Raven. "But I am only afraid of how much time we can truly afford."

"Are you only saying that because you think she'll go back to Tamaran and it's politics...?" Beast Boy asked, lowering his eyes.

Wildfire pressed a hand to his chest. "I, of all people, care deeply about what is best for my dear big sister. I feel it is too premature to decide anything, but I think she would do better if she rested her mental health on Tamaran. I fear she is close to a mental breakdown. There are plenty of known and beloved things to her on Tamaran that I believe would help with her grief more efficiently."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Robin shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest. He paced a few steps from the kitchen. Starfire ducked a little further behind the wall and watched as the morning light bled across Robin's gleaming dark hair. His brow was furrowed as he lowered his chin. "Tamaran holds a lot of pain for Starfire right now. I don't know if earth is much better for her, but I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that there are ways to expedite her grief on her home planet."

Wildfire stood now, pressing his hands behind his back. "With all due respect, I think Starfire needs familiarity to help her in these trying times."

Robin looked over his shoulder with a face of stone. "I'd say here is just as familiar as there, Wildfire."

There was a silence for a moment and the three other Titans only looked on with arched eyebrows as Wildfire seemed to be stewing in his mind. "It may be too early to know anything, Robin. But I fear you're talking from a place in your heart that cannot make assumptions in this situation."

The leader was quick to turn around now, making a piercing eye contact with the Lost King. "It's coming from the place in my heart where Starfire is my friend, Wildfire. I'd say you're also speaking from a place somewhere deep down inside that can't fully guess this scenario. None of us can make the decision of what's best for Starfire. Only she can. I'm speaking from my gut when I'd wager to say she probably isn't too keen on getting back to Tamaran. And you can't blame her if she doesn't want to."

"Hey, hey," Cyborg piped up, lifting a steaming platter of food. "Maybe breakfast will help! We're just runnin' in circles, guys."

"I have no need of breakfast," Wildfire tilted his chin up. "I would only like to be sure my sister is fine. There is no delaying the inevitable."

"And what's the inevitable?" Robin's jaw clenched. "Let me guess... she's destined to be your adviser. Forced to live in all her horrid memories and existential dread?"

"Same as your inevitable. That she remains a Teen Titan and forever questions her origin and purpose," Wildfire said, matter of fact. There was a tense silence. "Robin, perhaps we can speak alone. You three go on and have breakfast. This will only take a moment." Wildfire began heading the direction of Starfire. Robin stared after him for a moment before, reluctantly, he began to follow. Starfire was quick to dart around the next corner, pressing her back to the cool wall. She heard their boots stop just inside the wing. "Robin, I am not wishing to become your enemy in this matter. I am afraid, however, we have starkly contrasting views on how to handle this situation." Starfire's heart was pounding in her chest.

"Neither one of us know how to handle this," Robin told him with a sharp voice. "Only Starfire can decide how this can be dealt with. We shouldn't even be having this conversation without her."

"You say Tamaran holds pain for my sister," Wildfire replied, evenly. "But I believe helping to restore our planet will help her immensely in her dealings with grief."

"This is not about Tamaran," Robin shot back. "Separate Starfire from Tamaran, Wildfire, and look at this objectively. She was poisoned in Tamaran. She was forced to do things she didn't want and wasn't comfortable with. And on top of all that, she watched her sister die right in front of her. Tamaran has nothing to do with this."

"Surely we can find a way to come to even ground on this matter."

"No, we can't," Robin said. "Not unless Starfire is in this discussion. You have to understand, you've been gone for a long time. And a lot has changed, Wildfire. Your sister has grown and flourished into a new person. She has thrived here on earth. Everything was fine until that damned letter showed up in our mailbox. Nothing has been the same since. And I'm..." Robin sighed now. Starfire pressed her sticky palms flat to the wall behind her. "I'm worried we won't ever see that carefree, happy-go-lucky girl again. A lot has changed. And I'm scared it was too much, all at once."

Wildfire also let out a hefty sigh. Starfire pushed herself even flatter against the wall, grounding her teeth together. "You are right about the fact I have not been around to see all these changes. I suppose my sister's history is shrouded in mystery to me. But the past weeks I have seen her, Robin, she has proved to me just how iron-willed she is and just how passionate she is about things she cares about. I know she can be a great asset to Tamaran. Perhaps she didn't want to be the Grand Leader, but maybe, more of a counsel?"

Robin was quiet for a beat and Starfire heard his shoes scuff against the floor. "Again, this conversation warrants Starfire. I can't decide for her and neither can you. This is about what she wants. Nothing should be expected of her right now."

A quiet fell between the two for a moment. Starfire slowly turned her head towards the dark corner separating them. "I can understand why my sister loves you."

"What?" Robin seemed caught off guard.

"You value her input on everything. You protect her at all costs," Wildfire continued. "You do everything a noble warrior would do for his maiden. You do not speak for her. You do not assume her. I can tell you have cultivated a very rich relationship with her. I am sorry I could not understand in the moment. But I am realizing, Robin, you have her best interest at heart. Though it does pain me to say."

"Why would it pain you?"

"My sister loves an earthling," Wildfire's voice seemed wildly confused. "It's a first, honestly. Never has a Tamaranean loved someone other than a Tamaranean. But at the same time... you're different..."

"Well, it's not very often a Tamaranean comes to earth, is it?" Robin asked, his voice somewhat light hearted. "They're afraid of us. But Starfire isn't." Another silence. Robin licked his lips. "You can have all your assumptions about me, Wildfire. All I want is the best for Starfire. I won't stop her with whatever she decides."

"Should we fetch Starfire?"

"No," Robin spoke decisively. "Let her come to us. I've always believed that if someone wants to talk about it, you do it on their terms. No prodding. No provoking. Let Starfire grieve on her own terms for now. She deserves that courtesy, at least."

Starfire peaked around the corner to see Robin. His face was stone hard. His dark hair was perky, as usual. She quickly drew away and took a deep breath. She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly.

Thank you, Robin