A/N: Blah… chapter 22… I'm not really that fond of it. I actually think it kind of sucks, but anyways… here it is: )
Disclaimer: I don't own the song, "Let Me Go" or 3 Doors Down… But I do thank Brightshadow 5 for the suggestion! ; )
Let Me Go
The dimly lit bathroom, musty and secluded, served two functions that night at the bar in Radiant Garden. The obvious function that all bathrooms serve, and on that particular night it also served as a sanctuary for a certain Keyblade Master from hearing the heart-spoken words being sung on stage by a certain Princess of Heart. Words that he knew were directed towards him, and words that pained him to hear, despite the beautiful and flawless delivery.
As Sora paced in front of the stalls, his hands shoved in the deep pockets of his blue jeans and his eyes locked in a worried stare at the black ceramic tiles in front of him, he struggled to remember what it was like before the keyblade. What was his life like before heartless and Nobodies… before potions and spells… before drive forms and limits….? What was his life like before Kingdom Hearts?
The sad thing was… he couldn't remember what life was like back on his peaceful little island before he was burdened with the duty of the keyblade. He did remember that he was happy, which was definitely more than he could say for his current situation. He could vaguely remember carefree days of sunscreen and rafts… battling with Riku for Kairi's attention… sunsets on the beach and the "Secret Place"… and wanting more than their simple island way of life.
But oh how he wanted that simple life back at this very moment. To be able to burst through those doors and tell Kairi the truth, gather her up in his arms and confess his undying love for her. Well…. Maybe not that quite yet… But he did want to save her from her heartache, save her from her songs of pleading with her heart to not fall in love again…
Although he had never actually heard her say it, he always knew that Kairi had deep feelings for him. Yeah, she loved him… she loved Riku too… They had been best friends for a decade, of course they loved each other. But what he felt for Kairi was something more, and he was almost certain she felt the same way.
He sighed as he turned on the facets to one sink and let the water run over his hands and swirl down the drain before splashing some on his face and running it through his stubborn spikes. As the water dripped back in to the sink below him, he hesitantly looked up into the mirror positioned over the sink, and cringed at the snarling black face sneering back at him.
"What's wrong Fuck-up?? Is your little girlfriend's singing that bad that you had to hide in the bathroom like a pathetic coward?"
Ah… yes… the reflection… his shadow… That's why he can't go burst through those doors and tell Kairi the truth, gather her up in his arms and confess his undying love for her… The thought made Sora want to jam his fist into the sickly yellow eyes gleaming at him, but a quick glance to his bruised and cut knuckles from his earlier outburst made him second guess his impulse.
"Shut the hell up…" he muttered as he closed the facets and grabbed a few towels from the granite countertop.
"Sora?"
Sora jumped at the voice and nearly knocked over the display of cheap colognes and deodorants lined up on the countertop. "Riku! Holy shit dude… you scared the hell out of me!"
"Sorry man…" Riku replied as he pushed through the bathroom door and walked over to where Sora was standing. "Who the hell were you talking to?"
"Huh?"
"You told someone to 'shut the hell up…'" Riku's aquamarine eyes were filled with concern, and Sora was well aware that trying to lie to Riku was like trying to lie to a mind-reader.
"Oh… that…" Sora cleared his throat and nervously glanced sideways at the mirror, "It was n-nothing…"
Riku narrowed his eyes suspiciously.
"Hey Riku?"
"Yeah…"
"When you look in that mirror, what do you see in my reflection??" Sora asked tentatively, wringing his hands nervously.
Riku rolled his eyes, guessing that this one of Sora's sappy ways of starting a monologue that would indefinitely end in Riku feeling sick to his stomach and Sora gaining new insight into life. "Sora I don't have time for this…"
"Come on… Please."
Riku was surprised by Sora's seriousness and he could almost hear a layer of desperate anxiety in his voice. He sighed, somewhat annoyed and looked at the long mirror over the sinks… "Sora, when I look at your reflection I see a sixteen year old dude who tries to do too much without the help of his friends. I see someone who believes in self-sacrifice before burdening his loved-ones and I see someone who bears the strongest heart that I've ever known…" Riku paused to let his words sink in before laughing and slapping Sora on the back, "I also see someone who is going to get mauled by Yuffie if he doesn't get back out there and sing a song for her birthday!"
Sora looked at Riku skeptically, "You mean… You don't see anything… different?"
"No…" Riku narrowed his eyes at his friend, "Sora… What's going on? You feeling okay?"
Sora looked blankly at his shadowy reflection in the mirror before shaking his head of his thoughts and turning towards Riku, "Riku… what if…" Sora quickly debated whether or not he wanted to divulge Riku in this particular darkness. "What if I told you that I see myself in the mirror with yellow eyes and charcoal black skin?"
Riku wasn't sure if he should laugh at Sora or slap him back to reality. His face was so contorted with grief, Riku decided against both… "What are you talking about, Sora?"
Sora sighed, "Riku… When I see a reflection of myself, I don't see… myself."
Riku nodded slowly with a confused look on his face… "Okay… Then what do you see?"
"I see…" Sora's gaze fell to the floor briefly before he locked eyes with his silver-haired companion, "…my shadow."
"You mean the one that tried to take Kairi that night at Merlin's?!"
Sora's mouth suddenly became very dry and he found it difficult to form any words, so he just nodded silently.
"Shit... man…" Riku shook his head disbelievingly. "Are you sure? Wait… of course your sure… But why? How?"
Sora was still numb for words, so he shrugged his shoulders.
"Damn… This is more serious than I thought it was. How long have you been seeing it?"
"Just since today… earlier in the Burrough, during the thunderstorm." Sora gulped before continuing, "But there's more… I can hear it talking in my head…"
Sora expected Riku's mouth to drop and his eyes to glaze over, instead he just nodded understandingly, "So it's inside of you…" he mumbled, more to himself than anything else.
"Yeah…" Sora shifted uncomfortably in his shoes, "Riku… promise you won't tell Kairi."
Riku looked at Sora, obviously not approving of his last request. "Sora…"
"Look… I plan on telling her myself, but I have to figure out how first." Sora interrupted before Riku could object. "Just promise me you won't tell her until I get a chance to talk to her."
"Okay man. Promise…"
Sora heaved a sigh and managed a weak smile, "Thanks man…"
Suddenly the bathroom door swung open hard on its hinges and a black-haired head popped in the door, "SORA?! RIKU?! You guys in here??"
"Yuffie! This is the men's room… what the hell are you doing?!" Riku cried.
"They're about to shut down the karaoke and Sora still hasn't sung his song yet!" she whined back, "Come on Sora… Please please please please ple-"
"Arg! Okay Yuffie!!" Sora answered, covered his ears trying to rid the annoying pleas, "Just please stop!"
Yuffie giggled, "Okay! Then come on!!"
Sora looked at Riku briefly before mouthing another 'thank you' and ducking out the bathroom door. As he walked back towards the stage he glanced around nervously for Kairi's presence. When he saw her sitting silently at the end of their table, her chin in her hands and a distant stare occupying her usual playful cerulean eyes, he made a quick decision and took the long route to stage so he could pass by where she was sitting.
As he neared her, he noticed her glance at him nervously before turning the other direction and averting her gaze from him. His heart fell a little, and he silently debated his choice, but quickly decided to go ahead and proceed with his plan. He tried desperately to cool the growing blush on his cheeks and calm his racing heart. When he was directly behind her chair he leaned over her quietly, his hands resting lightly on her shoulders. He brought his mouth close to her ear, quickly inhaled the scent of vanilla and coconut before whispering so only she and he could hear his words, "You sing like an angel…"
Kairi was stunned by his actions, and the feeling of his hot breath on her neck sent chills from the base of her skull to her tailbone. She gulped and turned to say 'thank-you', but Sora was already climbing the stage in front of her. The corners of her lips curled into a small smile as she felt the heat rising in her face. She buried her cheeks in her hands again to hide her blush as Sora scrolled through the selections on stage.
As Sora scrolled through the screen, looking for the song he already knew he wanted to sing… he didn't attempt to hide the redness on his cheekbones. When he found the title he was looking for, he tapped his selection and grabbed the microphone from the stand while he waited for the music to begin. "Hey guys, hope you don't mind if I change the words up a little," he muttered into the microphone while the speakers on either side of the stage sprang to life. As he started the first verse, he found Kairi's face, and never let his gaze leave her. When she noticed his stare on her, she blushed and ducked to the side shyly before slowly returning his gaze.
Just one kiss could be the best thing
But one more lie could be the worst
All these thoughts are never resting
'Cause you're not something I deserve
In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make-believe
This seems real to me
You love me, but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
You love me, but you don't know who I am
So let me go… Let me go
As Sora sang, his voice was shaky and unsure, but he sang from his heart and as Kairi returned his gaze, he found new confidence and his voice strengthened. He gripped the microphone close to his mouth as he crossed the stage and knelt down in front of her, his eyes still locked on her watery cerulean orbs. Kairi's face looked conflicted, but she smiled despite herself. The small bar filled with 'awwwws' and 'how sweet's' as Sora began the second verse…
I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turned my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing?
When I know what we're going through
In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make-believe
This seems real to me
You love me, but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
You love me, but you don't know who I am
So let me go… Let me go
As he balanced on the balls of his feet, eyes still locked with Kairi's conflicted gaze, he suddenly was aware of the tears pooling in his own eyes. He gulped and blinked a few times to subdue the unshed tears…
'Cause no matter how hard I try
I can't escape darkness inside, I know… I know…
When all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one, I love… I love…
As he sang the last two words, he saw the tension in Kairi's face stiffen. She quickly stood up, wiping at unshed tears as she turned towards the closest balcony door. She apologized to Yuffie quickly before rushing from the table towards the door.
You love me, but you don't…
The sound of the microphone screeching as it tumbled to the stage caused the audience to cover their ears and grimace as Sora jumped from the stage."Kairi! Wait!" he called as he chased after her, the wordless music still filling the bar with guitar chords and drum rhythms.
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A/N: hehe…. Another cliffhanger… If I don't post again soon, it means that GTA Guy killed me… ; ) lmao
But yeah… I did change the words of the song up a little to what I needed it for… but Sora's the one in the story who changed them to say what he wanted it to… like "You will be the only on I love" (hint hint) hehe… I PROMISE that you guys are going to love the next chapter!! That is if I live long enough to write it… lol
PLEASE REVIEW!! It's easy… just push the little button, type a few words to tell me how much you despise my story and then hit "submit"… come on… you know you want to…