Mature subject matter. Adults only please. Very silly sexual situations.

- - - - - - -

Chakotay and Tom distributed the drink to the crew as quickly as they could. Tom pulled B'Elanna away from Seven, Xev Bellringer and the Delaney sisters, pausing to take a long, appreciative look before getting them to drink.

Seven responded quickly, her alcohol tolerance had always been low. Once she understood the situation, she managed to help pour drinks down quite a few crew members throats, thereby saving them all once again and probably learning some valuable lesson in the process.

She was also the quick to get to work on the neglected ship. The warnings slowed down and then stopped altogether.

Cheery Kaylee and surly B'Elanna had managed to break through the computer's conundrum and shut down many of the other holograms. It took every ounce of self-control for B'Elanna not to fillet the Pollyanna-like hologram.

"Well, I just gotta say, I really like them bumps on your head," Kaylee chirped and beamed a wholesome smile as she worked, "And it was really nice having good sex with you B'Elanna."

"Yeah, same to you, blondie." B'Elanna retorted with scathing sarcasm. "Now get the hell outta here! Dong ma?" She said gruffly as she plunked on the computer interface and sent Kaylee back to limbo.

The last pixels of the bewildered girl shouted, "Shiong-tsan sha-sho!" at the Klingon.

"You'd better believe it!" B'Elanna retorted to the air. She had had enough of the farm girl's optimism, despite her uncanny knack for engineering, and the alcohol had released her Klingon side.

"Remind me not to get you upset!" Tom said when he saw Kaylee dissolve.

"I always do."

- - - - -

Chakotay became aware of the Minister of Toolander and a couple of his cronies looking somber and huddling in a corner. They were struggling desperately to prevent the crew from reviving. They tossed drinks to the deck and they tried to recast the 'spell', but nothing was working. Resistance was going well as humiliated crewmembers realized what was happening and what they had done with and to one another.

"Get off my ship!" Chakotay commanded. "We've had enough of you!"

The Minister cowered away from the angry Officer and bumped into Q who had donned a Starfleet Admiral's uniform.

"Well, well, well!" Q glowered at the faltering alien.

"Q, why aren't you doing something?" the defeated Minister whinged.

"I am doing something! I'm standing here enjoying the show!"

"Get this foul drink away from them! You always spoil all the fun!"

"Don't I just!" Q gloated. "Next time, go and bother some species at your own evolutionary stage! This is my playground!"

"You are just impossible!"

"Yep! Anyway, my monkeys figured it all out for themselves. I just wanted to take the credit! Shoo!" Q motioned for them to get lost.

The aliens vanished indignantly, leaving only a puff of pungent smoke in their wake.

Chakotay had returned to his work of getting his crew as drunk as possible as fast as possible. As crazy as it was, it was the sanest thing he had done for weeks.

In the midst of the confusion and out of the blue, Q grabbed Chakotay and kissed him full on the lips.

"I just had to know!" Q exclaimed melodramatically.

"Know what? Let me go, Q!" Chakotay ordered.

"I just had to know if you were good enough for my Kathy!"

"Stop it!"

When Q finally released him, Chakotay automatically rubbed his mouth in disgust, yet noticed with dismay that amid the revulsion, a part of him responded to Q's attentions. Oh no! Was he still in the thrall of the Toolanders? After all this?

Q regarded Chakotay's puzzled face. "Always wonder," was his simple maddening statement.

"About what?" Chakotay thought. "My sexuality? If I'm still be influenced? My worthiness for Kathryn? What!"

"I haven't got time for this!" Chakotay said, shaking himself back to reality.

------- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Janeway was awake and glowing. She was draped loosely in a silky ecru sheet and she glided to Chakotay who was stopped in his tracks by her classical beauty.

"Commander Chakotay!" she spoke with her usual force, as Chakotay and Tom held their heads. "We need to define parameters!"

"Parameters? Again! Kathryn, please! Not so loud." Chakotay begged.

"That's 'Captain Kathryn' to you, dear," she cooed, petting his unshaven chin. "I was thinking. I believe we need to define some new parameters," she informed him, drawing close and drawing a claw-like nail down a bare section on his broad chest. His heartbeat raced and his breath deepened.

Chakotay reluctantly handed her another glass of Irish Mist and prompted her to drink.

"Mmm! Aye and 'tis the mother's milk," she said, praising the drink with a mock Irish accent.

Chakotay realized a possible outcome of reviving Kathryn from of her libidinous state. A shade of melancholy inched over his handsome face, even though she was very close to him.

"I think," she continued, "we should always start first thing in the morning."

"OK." he said.

"Then, Elevensies."

"Uh, huh."

"And then at after lunch…"

Her lips met his, and it was all he could do to end it and get her to drink.

"Three o'clock." she continued her new parameters. "Afternoon delight!"

"You are going to kill me!" he complained with a weary smile.

"What does Seven always say? 'You will adapt!'" she said in imitation of the statuesque ex-Borg.

"Now, where was I? Early dinner, then…twice before bedtime."

"Drink your drink, Captain Kathryn," he said as he kissed her temple, silently saying goodbye. Once she was back to normal, what would happen? He had no choice. He had to get the ship back, up and running and Voyager needed her Captain in one whole, sane piece. Realities aside, it hurt.

The whiskey started to take effect and her new schedule for their relationship began to fade. She cuddled up to Chakotay and napped on his shoulder and, there they sat as the deck cleared.

All the crewmembers had become inebriated. Their normal drives returned. Many slunk off in mortified embarrassment as they recalled their recent behavior. Some had duties to perform to insure the safety of the ship while others just retreated to their respective cabins to recover.

Q did indulge in one intervention on behalf of his proclaimed "pets": He zapped the ship to a healthy distance from the Toolandish Empire while its occupants recovered their systems and their selves.

The holographic scene faded, leaving only a harsh light to illuminate the grid. Chakotay held his lover fast, knowing full well, it might be the last time she would allow it.

He waited as long as he could before he carried Kathryn to her room and placed her gently on a bed he hastily arranged. He wondered why his face was wet.

Finally, he kissed her. He knew it could very well be their last lover's kiss and his heart rent asunder as he rose to leave her quarters and take refuge in his own ruined den.

--- - - - - - - - -

TBC….