Delta of Voyager
Part 17

Chakotay was told that he was not confined to quarters, but he made his forays to the mess hall at odd hours, avoiding most of the crew. Inevitably, he would run into some one and at this 3 hundred hour had him run smack into a flustered Talaxian with a tray of leola root cookies which met the deck with a resounding smash. The pair kneeled to clear the mess.

"Com…commander Cha…Chakotay, sir. Ah, what can I, I didn't expect, I could have had something for you if you had, I mean…"

"Relax, Neelix! Please, relax!"

They both had difficulty making eye contact, floods of the memory of their liaisons, their regularly scheduled liaisons, danced about their minds.

"Is it Tuesday again?" Chakotay joked, a la Tom.

"Oh, no, were you expecting me for Tues…"

"I'm sorry, Neelix. Of course not. Bad joke. Tom's influence."

"Oh, no, of course not." Neelix sounded disappointed. "You became close with Tom, didn't you? And, don't forget the Captain. I always thought you were a cute couple!"

"Closeness even when unwanted was inevitable."

"Well, many of the crew have found each other and paired off. Some even in threes! Some of those lust affairs turned into relationships and I suppose that is good."

"When all veneer of culture and control have come crashing down, where is there to go?" Chakotay said ambiguously, not really to Neelix.

"I suppose," the Talaxian said. "I expect that you and the Captain, or perhaps Tom and B'Ellanna, but oh, I am so sorry again, I don't seem to be able to keep my foot from my mouth. Your personal life is just that, personal."

"Yes, I've heard that said. Neelix, please stop apologizing! You haven't done or said anything wrong."

"It's just that, ah, I had a small hope…" he ventured, the words no longer rolling off his tongue, "I had thought perhaps, you and I had shared something, if only for a moment."

"Oh, Neelix, I…"

"Since Kes has been gone," he burst, "I have been so lonely!"

"Neelix, what we shared, it was, I'll always remember, but.."

"I know! I know! Please forget I said anything, please!"

"Neelix, I don't know what to say. I certainly don't want to hurt you, especially after what I have just been through."

"Sir, if I may be so bold…"

"Neelix, please call me Chakotay."

"Very well, Mr. Chakotay sir…"

Chakotay sighed and smiled wryly. He just wanted him to drop the 'sir' and losing the 'Mr.' would be nice as well. They had, been lovers after all and to Chakotay's surprise, Neelix, the last person in the universe he would consider, was a wonderful lover at that.

"There has been a lot of talk…"

"I bet there has."

"About you and Mistress, ah, Captain Janeway. Have you really stepped down as our First Officer?"

"Yes, I have."

"Oh, I certainly hope we are not going to lose you!" Neelix said, an unwanted air of desperation rising in his voice.

Chakotay signed once again. "I haven't decided yet, Neelix, but Voyager has become my home. I may be able to find other useful work onboard. I really don't want to leave my friends."

"If you ever want to use your famous cooking skills, then you are welcome in the kitchen. There are other crew who enjoy vegetarian meals, which are not my strong suit. We'd make a great team."

"Thanks, Neelix," Chakotay smiled as they rose. Chakotay laid some ruined cookies on the tray. "I will keep that in mind. Maybe part time."

"Oh, that would be lovely Mister Chakotay, si…, I mean, Mister Chakotay."

"Just 'Chakotay' will do nicely."

"Oh, of course, of course!"

Chakotay smiled at they parted. It was nice to feel wanted and appreciated, especially right now.

He was planning to take Tom and B'Elanna up on their offer—of dinner. He had isolated himself for too long and it was time to join the living. And, it was certainly time for him to allow himself to be with people who loved and wanted him.

TBC….