Hey, guys! I know that SOMEONE (I hate you, Stuart) posted a review about how the Jonas Brothers and Pokemon Emerald weren't around back in '99. I already know that. I also know that the song "Year 3000" was not out when Mello was ten, but I have no intention of changing it, because this is purely a crack-fic. Please ignore those kind of mistakes, because chances are I'll know I've made it. Thanks. :3

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. I'm not worthy.

December 15

Today I started reading a book called Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. This morning I was walking around the library and I saw the word "chocolate," so I decided I might as well read it. And the author's got a weird name, too. Roald Dahl or something. I think he's Norwegian.

I want a Golden Ticket really bad. There's a river of chocolate in that factory, I don't have one… maybe I could counterfeit one or something.

"Ha, Blinky! Who's your daddy now, huh?!?" Matt keeps saying. He's gaming on the Pacman machine in the corner.

But I can't have someone yelling while I'm fantasizing about a chocolate factory.

"Shut up, Matt! I'm describing a really good book here and I don't want to hear about you murdering video game characters. Homocidal jerk."

"Mello, I can't believe you're really using that diary," Matt is grumbling. "I'm embarrassed to be your best friend. You're such a pansy."

"How am I a pansy, retard? I'm bored so writing in this stupid journal-not-diary is all I can think to do. Besides, the book I'm describing in here is about chocolate."

"Oh. I want to read a book like that. Can I borrow it after you finish?"

"Yeah, sure."

Do you see how fast the mood of a conversation between best friends can change?

Now since I feel like a total daffodil for writing in this ridiculous journal, I think I'll quit for now. Matt is so mean.

From,

Mello (who may not actually let his best friend borrow his book because chances are he'll never see it again)

Please review! I work off of reviews. Right now, I'm just running off of dream-gasoline, so that means if I don't get any feedback sooner or later I'll run out of fuel and lose interest in the story.

SO REVIEW. (If you don't, I hope you go bald.)