My Third Daughter's First Date

by C. LeShay

After an innocent question thrown to him by Rukia, Isshin comes to realize that his third daughter has yet to experience the thrill of a first date. What’s a dutiful father got to do anyway?

4. Bachelorette Rukia

Chapter 4: Bachelorette Rukia

Summary: Wanted: Suitors for Kuchiki Rukia. Interested parties may submit to the Kurosaki Clinic their comprehensive resumes together with their statement of assets and liabilities and a 2 – page essay on the topic Why Should Rukia-Chan Pick Me As Her Date. Include 2X2 colored photo with blue background. Applicants will be entertained in a first come, first served basis.

Fiction Rating: T or M, for violence, potty mouth, and other 'stuff' that should embarrass you or your mother.

Characters: Isshin, Yuzu, Karin, Kon, Urahara, Keigo, Mizuizuro, Chizuru, Ishida, Renji, and IchigoXRukia

Disclaimner: The chance of me owning bleach is just as much as me winning/inheriting 100 billion dollars. I don't own Prince of Tennis, Utada Hikaru, and Isaka Tatsuya (sob)

SPOILERS: If you were just new to Bleach, you'd probably say that I spoiled you. Like some things about Urahara and who Isshin was before the whole substitute-shinigami business of Ichigo.

WARNING: Hold on to your seats, (slight) OOCs will guarantee this to be a bumpy ride!

(Page Break)

The shinigami representative license was suddenly activated. This could only mean one thing: there was a hollow nearby. Quickly, Ichigo stood up from his chair to transform into his shinigami form. "Rukia! Rukia, there's a hollow!"

Spinning around, Ichigo saw that save for him, the room was empty. He was half-expecting the pint-sized female shinigami to be the first one out. Since her powers returned, Rukia had been very eager to go after hollows that Ichigo had to keep an eye on her to make sure that she never ventured out on her own. Though she was a decent fighter and she was cautious, there was always a need for Ichigo to make sure that she was fine. She may not be better at swordfights like him, but Rukia was good in kidou. However, it would always unsettle Ichigo if he weren't beside her during these fights.

He had no other reasons, mind you, except that Rukia could get easily hurt.

But this time, he was surprised that she wasn't around. "Rukia?" he called out "Oi, Rukia, there's a hollow! If you don't get your butt out here now, I'll go on ahead." As there was no response, Ichigo quickly climbed out of the window to look for the hollow. Screw her, he thought, if he stayed back any longer, a soul might have been eaten already.

As Ichigo ran over rooftops, he skidded to a stop, almost toppling down from his perch. Rukia was there, standing at the park. "Oi, Rukia!" he hollered "Come on! There's a hollow!"

It was highly impossible for her not to have heard him, since he was shouting his lungs out. The bitch must be torturing him or something. "Oi!" he shouted as he jumped down beside her "Rukia, cut the crap out now."

"Rukia." Another voice called out.

Ichigo turned and someone from the shadows. He tried to see who it was, but all he can spot was a tall silhouette, probably that of a man.

"Rukia." The voice called out again. This time, Ichigo was sure that it was that of a man "Were you waiting for a while?"

Rukia turned to the man. She had a small smile on her face, a kind of smile that she never showed to anyone at school.

A smile so rare that Ichigo was sure not many aside from him has seen it.

"No, not really."

Ichigo was really pissed. "Rukia," he grated out "we have to go. NOW. In case you've forgotten why, remember a HOLLOW? You know, those really ugly things that you draw often?"

But Rukia still said nothing. Instead, she fixed her eyes on the man walking towards her.

As Ichigo made say something, the man (why was he in the shadows anyway? Ichigo asked himself in annoyance.) suddenly took out a large bouquet of red roses and held it out "These are for you."

"Oi!" Ichigo snarled angrily "We don't have time for that, Rukia!"

Ichigo then realized that the female shinigami was really avoiding him when she stepped closer to the man and took the offered flowers.

"Thank you." She said sincerely and graciously. "They look wonderful."

Suddenly, the still unknown man (Just you wait, Ichigo thought to himself, when I see who you are, you'll get a konso even if you're not dead yet.) closed the gap between him and Rukia as he took hold of her chin tenderly and tilted it upwards to face him.

Ichigo's grimace grew bigger. "RUKIA! If innocent souls get eaten, it's all your fault!" He shouted heatedly. "Soul Society won't like it and they'd arrest you again!" But Rukia did not listen to him. Instead she looked at the man and offered him a soft smile.

As he gripped Zangetsu tighter, Ichigo felt something inside him coil tautly, like a spring. "If you get the death penalty again, I won't save you, dumbass!"

Then, as if he was watching a horror film, Ichigo was riveted as he saw the man lean down to kiss Rukia while she rose on tiptoes to meet him. Everything may have been in slow motion as the lips of the two met. He could hardly contain the gasp of surprise as he saw the other man deepen the kiss and hold the girl by her waist closer. Ichigo could not hear anything, let alone the racing beat of his heart and the deafening roar in his ears.

Then Rukia dropped the flowers uncaringly so her hands were free. She then reached up to grasp the front of the man's shirt in order to pull him to her even more.

That was the last straw. Something inside Ichigo snapped. The feeling was unfamiliar yet achingly recognizable at the same time. It was the feeling of red-hot rage that started from the center of his being that flowed freely through his veins. This was nothing that Ichigo has ever experienced before. But as adrenalin rushed throughout him, he felt the familiar stirrings of his dark power without the said hollow emerging. "Dammnit, Rukia!" He cried out hoarsely, dropping Zangetsu completely so he can tear the two apart from each other. "Rukia!"

He finally succeeded to forcibly pull them apart. Uncaring of his strength, Ichigo shoved the man roughly aside and he spun to face Rukia. Grasping her arms in a gripe that was sure to bruise, he glared at her as he shouted, "What the hell was that about?" As Rukia just looked blankly at him, Ichigo felt something cold trickle down his face. Even without looking up, he was immediately aware that it had started to rain.

Rukia said nothing and they just stood there as the small droplets of rain grew steadily, drenching them completely. Ichigo was unable to say anything else except tighten his grip on her even more, watching as the rain matted Rukia's hair onto her skull. The water flowed steadily, causing her clothes to stick to her body like a well-fitting glove. However, she made no move to protect her body from the rain, to cover her modesty as her dress clung to her chest, nor did she attempt to slacken his grip on her.

"Rukia…" he called again "What is going on with you?"

"Ichigo." She said, "Let go."

"Kurosaki – san," the man said. He appeared again beside Rukia, this time carrying an umbrella to protect her from the rain. "Kurosaki – san, please let her go."

"Rukia…"

"I'm sorry Ichigo."

Wordlessly, Ichigo's hands fell back to his sides.

"I'm sorry Kurosaki – san." The man said apologetically "Rukia – chan and I, we are in love with each other."

"I'm leaving Ichigo." Rukia told him. "Please tell your family thank you for me."

"What?" He cried out in surprise. "Wait, what about… what about…you can't…"

"You don't need me to take care of the hollows, Ichigo." Rukia said quietly. "You've grown strong enough to handle them yourself."

"But, my hollow…" He said, "Rukia, you can't leave me, what if –

"I have confidence in you, Ichigo."

Without another word, Rukia and the man turned around and walked off, their arms linked together as they huddled beneath the umbrella.

Ichigo couldn't bring himself to say anything, but he just stared at the two as they gradually went further away. Then, he found himself moving, he was moving forward "Rukia!" He shouted, running towards them. What he would say when he caught up with them, he would never know, but he just had to reach her. He just had to. "Rukia!"

Suddenly, something hit the side of his face. "Bastard!"

Ichigo's eyes flew open. He came face to face with the beady eyes of…

"Bastard! Why were you muttering Rukia nee – san's name in your sleep?"

Oh great, it was Kon.

"Ichigo! You cannot stomp on my precious nee – san's honor like that!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Ichigo felt relieved that it was all but a dream, even if it meant waking up with Kon in your face.

"You bastard! Calling out nee – san's name like that; you were having a perverted dream!"

WTF?

Kon was too busy ranting to notice Ichigo's eyes narrow in anger. "I never expect you to sink that low, Ichigo." Kon hissed. "I bet you were dreaming of nee – san and you together. You holding her, touching her creamy skin, smelling the scent of her hair, lying your head down on her soft –

Ichigo grabbed Kon by the head and threw him across the room. "Don't lump me in the same category as you, pervert!" Suddenly, he sat up and looked at the clock on his table. "Oh shit!" he cried, remembering what happened yesterday.

(Page Break)

(flashback)

"Glad to see that you're awake again, Ichi – nii."

"My head…" Ichigo groaned. "That BITCH, when I get my hands on her…"

"She's not here."

"Oh?"

Karin shrugged as she continued watching the TV. "Pops and Yuzu took her out to shop about 2 hours earlier. But you've been out for 4 hours."

Ichigo gave a start, "I was out that long?" Hell, Rukia must have gotten him real hard to let him go unconscious for more than an hour. He grimaced as he remembered the snickers that his hollow self gave him. Great, the horse must think that the King was unsteady. He was fortunate enough that his hollow side didn't take over. Although it was quite annoying to hear him laugh that way, Ichigo didn't have any other incident that involved his unwanted self. When Rukia gets back, Ichigo would be giving her a dropkick just to even up the score.

"You could have woken earlier you know." Karin said off-handedly as she took time to watch her brother head to kitchen for a snack. Remembering what happened while Ichigo was asleep, she snickered again. "Had pops not used a sedative on you."

"The hell! Why would he use a sedative anyway?"

"Maybe so you wouldn't see what he and Yuzu were going to do?"

Ichigo suddenly made an about face and went back to the living room. "And just what means of torture did he rope Yuzu into doing?"

Wordlessly, Karin handed him a piece of white paper.

Grumbling, Ichigo unfolded it and looked. It read:

Wanted: Suitors for Kuchiki Rukia. Interested parties may submit to the Kurosaki Clinic their comprehensive resumes together with their statement of assets and liabilities and a 2 – page essay on the topic Why Should Rukia-Chan Pick Me As Her Date. Include 2X2 colored photo with blue background. Applicants will be entertained tomorrow in a first come, first served basis.

"SHIT! Where did he post this thing?" He asked Karin. Oh boy, if Byakuya finds out about this, he was so dead yesterday. Rukia's brother may be an ice cube, but Ichigo was sure that he'd be in Karakura, Senbonsakura at the ready, with his annoying fukutaicho tailing at his heels.

"At the clinic's entrance." Supplied Karin "I'm also sure that he'll be posting it everywhere too. Of course, he also posted it online on his website earlier."

With a howl of anger, Ichigo dashed to the clinic with Karin's laughter echoing in the house.

(End of flashback)

(Page Break)

"Ichigo – idiot." Kon cried out heatedly. "This is all your fault!"

"My fault?" Ichigo asked in mid-dress. "I have no idea what the hell you're blabbering about."

Kon jumped on the bed to face the pissed teenager. "You may have tried to remove the posters, but did you go to your old man's website and deleted the ad?"

"His laptop has a password, dumbass." Ichigo sneered.

"You could have talked to nee – san and told her to say no to your old man's plans."

Ichigo gave the modsoul a withered glance. "And is that supposed to be MY problem?"

Beating his previous record of getting dressed, Ichigo was able to make it downstairs by 8:05 am. – which was earlier than expected of him during the weekend. "Rukia!" he called out. He had to get her out of here; at least Byakuya would be grateful that he made an effort and possibly spare his body from being chopped to pieces. "Oi, Rukia!"

He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw his father lounging downstairs. Isshin was wearing a smart-looking corporate attire suit.

"Whose funeral would you be attending old man?"

Isshin flashed Ichigo a brilliant smile. "I'm just dressing up accordingly, of course. Yuzu, come on and join papa!"

Wordlessly, Ichigo's other sister came out, wearing a nice sundress in a peach color.

"Are you going out?" Ichigo asked her. "Where's Rukia?"

Yuzu shook her head. "Ichi – nii, Rukia nee and Karin went out to buy chappy merchandise. I'm staying here to help mind the guests."

"This early?" Ichigo was tempted to think that his stupid father premeditated this. "What guests?"

Isshin laughed. "Oh dear, have you forgotten Ichigo, today is the day we talk to potential suitors of Rukia – chan!" He glanced disapprovingly at his son's clothing. A long sleeved white shirt with a print that read 'Look Out, Dumbass' over a tattered pair of jeans. "You better get dressed in something nice, Ichigo. We have to make an impression today!"

"Why the hell should I give a good impression?"

Isshin gave him a look that asked 'Are you stupid or are you high?' before telling him "Ichigo, we – as Rukia – chan's family – have to make sure that we give a good impression so as not to embarrass our dear girl."

Ignoring the 'dear girl' comment, Ichigo glared at his father "Why do we have to make a good impression?" If it were Byakuya that was coming over, he'd hightail it from here.

Of course, it was highly impossible, since no one knew about Rukia's family except for him and his other friends.

If anything else, Isshin's smirk grew more and more pronounced that it was glaringly blinding him like a spot of the sun reflected on Ikaku's bald head. "Why, we're expecting Rukia-chan's first date to arrive today!"

One of these days, Ichigo thought in annoyance, his family would be the death of him.

Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

"Ah!" Isshin said happily, "I hope it's the first candidate."

Yuzu bolted to the kitchen "Oh no! I still haven't started making the sandwiches!"

Before anyone could say anything, Ichigo was already at the door with a scowl on his face. "This bastard better be selling dumb stuff or else…"

As Ichigo opened the door, he came face to face with a bucket hat and a fan. It was the familiar face of the weird guy named Urahara Kisuke outside his doorstep. He was really there, wearing his signature outfit. A moss-green pair of hakama and gi underneath a dark haori.

Sandal-hat? What in Soul Society's name is he doing outside their doorstep? Ichigo suddenly had a flashback of his nightmare. "What?" He asked the storeowner-former-shinigami-captain harshly. He was grateful to Urahara Kisuke for helping him gain power to save Rukia and all, but if he were a 'candidate,' Ichigo would have to go bankai on him.

All to ensure that Byakuya wouldn't have his head of course, and for no other reason.

"Ah! Greetings from the Urahara Store! Would you be interested to buy our latest product?" Urahara said in a believable home TV shopping salesman voice as he stepped inside the house.

"Hey, wait –

Holding up a large bag, Urahara continued to go inside "Aside from candies and other forms of deliciously sweet treats, the Urahara Store is now branching out to provide various filling meals such as sushi and tempura!"

"Oi, stop that, I'm talking to you here –

"But wait!" Urahara said in a dramatic pose, in an overly cheery tone that made Ichigo cringe. "Purchase our special party-sushi and tempura package and get a free tea set service with complimentary tea leaves enough for a party of 30 and up!"

Ichigo suddenly grabbed Urahara by his haori. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Ichigo?" Isshin called out. "Is that our first candidate?" Suddenly, the elder Kurosaki was at the door. He looked at Urahara curiously. "May I ask who you are?"

"This is no one –

"Me?" Urahara asked in a lazy drawl as he gave an exaggerated bow. "I'm a mere honest, handsome, perverted businessman who goes by the name Urahara Kisuke. I'm offering our latest merchandise here. May I ask who is it that I am addressing?"

Isshin stood up straighter and puffed out his chest "Why I am Kurosaki Isshin; a loving father, doctor, and current match-maker for my third daughter!" He spied the large container Urahara was holding and he went drooling. "Wait, do my eyes deceive me, or is that sushi?"

Urahara whipped his fan close and tapped the container "You are absolutely correct, Kurosaki-san! How perceptive of you! This is Urahara Store's latest product: the Urahara Sushi and Tempura Platter, perfect for parties and other celebrations, even for funerals!"

"Perfect!" Isshin cried out happily. "Yuzu! Yuzu, you shouldn't make sandwiches anymore, we'll just offer them sushi!"

From the kitchen, Yuzu replied with a cheerful "Okay Dad." Before she skipped out to meet Urahara. "Good morning to you, Mr. Businessman – san."

"Call me Urahara, my dear lovely girl. Is this your daughter?" At Isshin's enthusiastic nod, he replied "Wonderful! As our store's first customer, I'll be willing to lend my services and assist in serving the food. You have guests, am I correct? May I ask the occasion?"

Quickly, Isshin whipped out a small picture of Rukia. "This is my third daughter, Rukia – chan. Today is the day she'll go out on her first date. Unfortunately, I have to make sure she only goes out with someone who will respect and cherish her. This is why we have this interview date set for applicants!"

"Oh! Cute. Kurosaki – san, your third daughter is very, very cute. I absolutely love the dress, it brings out the sparkle in her jewel-like eyes!" Cooed Urahara. "I'm sure that many boys will be flocking to your home today."

Ichigo felt the first stirrings of a massive migrane. That or a case of brain aneurism. It was already bad that his father roped Yuzu into this scheme. But to have someone like Urahara join in was the herald of an impending apocalypse. He was fortunate enough that the two did not know each other; he could only imagine how bad that would –

Wait. How the hell did his father have a picture of Rukia anyway? Ichigo glanced at the picture his father was holding like a revered object. How did he get her to pose anyway? Of course the Chappy the Bunny plushie must be the reason. In the picture, Rukia was smiling happily at the camera while she held the stuffed toy close to her in an affectionate gesture that was unheard of in ANY shinigami of her caliber. The yellow sleeveless dress really looked good on her…

"If only SOMEONE would just hurry and confess to my dear third daughter, then she wouldn't have this sort of problem in her hands." Isshin said pointedly. "I'm fairly certain that there must be SOMEONE who is just DYING to take my precious Rukia – chan on her very important and highly memorable first date."

"Ah. So I see. First dates are really important." Drawled Urahara in obvious agreement as he flipped his fan close and open again. "The excitement of such is what parents look forward to, seeing that their children are now grown up to experience such things…" He snuck a look at Ichigo who stood nearby and looking out the window. "I suppose you already gave your third daughter THE TALK?"

Suddenly, Ichigo spun to face them, his frown more pronounced that ever. His hands were clenched tightly it was fortunate he wasn't holding anything.

As if nothing was wrong with discussing certain embarrassing things in public, for Ichigo at least, Isshin replied. "I'm sure she can handle it. My third daughter has strong legs to kick and she may have a great right hook which she can use in case a guy gets fresh later!"

"Old man…" Ichigo grumbled out. This day was slowly turning out to be worse than yesterday. Hell, he would gladly take a spar with Kenpachi in exchange for this day never happening.

Urahara laughed gaily. "Of course! But Kurosaki – san, first dates also mean first kisses!"

"That's IT!" Shouted Ichigo angrily, a vein twitching on his head. "No one's coming, I'm closing the clinic for today." He then headed to the clinic, cracking his knuckles as he went.

Isshin turned to give Urahara a smug smile and a thumbs-up.

"Kurosaki – kun is definitely mad about something, is he not?" Urahara asked with amusement. He flipped the fan open and giggled behind it. "Very alpha male behavior too…"

"It was bound to happen sooner or later." Isshin said as he shrugged. "But he's still far from snapping."

"Oh he will. Before the day is over, he will."

The two former comrades looked at each other before smiling and giggling like old men on meth.

Suddenly, Isshin looked at his fellow former shinigami. "Um, Kisuke, do you have sashimi with you there?"

(Page Break)

"And don't you ever show your face here again, you hear?" Shouted Ichigo as he chased the twenty-fifth boy who showed up in the clinic. Just to get the point across, Ichigo decided to chuck an empty plastic bottle of antiseptic at the young man from a nearby high school. It bounced loudly on the other's head. Kendo master up his ass indeed, Ichigo sneered inwardly.

For the last hour, he had been standing guard at the door of the clinic to make sure that no one gets into the house. So far, he had been up against numerous people, some of which were a karate black belter, a wrestler, a football quarterback, a boxer, gangster wannabee, and a triathlete. All of them were wimps who were really snot-faced high school and college students. Though he was not in shinigami form, he gave them a pounding that they will never forget. One of them even bought his gang in hopes of beating him to a bloody pulp. However, Ichigo breezed through them in just 5 minutes. It was really not that impressive, considering he fought strong shinigami and hollow alike to be fazed by such wimps.

Okay, so he went especially easy with the math nerd with the glasses and he took pains to avoid breaking the hands of the pianist who left crying like a three-year-old. But as a whole, Ichigo was able to release some steam by pounding these so-called 'applicants.'

"Heh. Wimpy asshole." A voice muttered behind him.

Ichigo turned and looked down to glare at the modsoul. "Get back in the room, Kon." He hissed. "Don't make me call Yuzu."

"Heh. I'm here to save nee – san." Kon said emphatically. "There is no way hormonal teenagers will get their hands near MY nee – san."

Ichigo snorted "There's no bigger pervert here in Karakura than you, Kon."

"What? Who was the one who had a perverted dream about nee – san anyway?"

"It was NOT a perverted dream!" Argued Ichigo, his face beet red. "You're as perverted as Keigo. In fact, I don't know which of you two is worse.

"Heh. Stop the tough act, Ichigo – idiot." Kon said emphatically, as his eyes glazed over. "You don't find Rukia – nee hot? Hmm, true she may not have the heavenly valley of the gods, but she's got great legs, a milky complexion, and soft skin that smells like ambrosia - "

If Ichigo was red before, hearing Rukia's so-called 'enchanting points' now made Ichigo almost combustible. "I said shut it, Kon."

"Well well…" came Kon's maniacal chuckling. "Why is it that Ichigo is so blind to nee – san's charms? You've been very nonplussed about women, aren't you? Tatsuki, Orihime, and nee – san." He stepped up the desk so he can look closer at the orange-haired substitute shinigami. "Could it be, Ichigo is gay?"

Suddenly, Ichigo grabbed Kon by his neck. "You bastard…" he hissed at the plushie. "When I'm through with you, you'll be wishing that you stayed in Yuzu's room as her doll bostafu."

"Eeeeppp!"

"Ichigo!" Isshin called out from inside the house. "Are there no walk – in applicants?"

"Hmp. Like there would be any." Ichigo hollered back. "I told you this plan was stupid."

There was a pause, then "Well its okay. Walk – in applicants aren't really promising. We'll just deal with those who had great marks in their essay. We have one here now."

"What?" Ichigo and Kon cried out at the same time. "How the HELL did that bastard get in?"

(Page Break)

Searchee #1

"Why a horror movie is in order. As we all know, a horror movie is the way to go! Afterwards, dinner at a classy restaurant – where I have coupons, of course – then the date is to be capped by karaoke!"

"Well, I'm very impressed at your essay, Mr. Asano –

"Please just call me Keigo, sir!" Keigo said bowing deeply. "I was only writing from the depths of my heart –

(Ichigo just had to gag and throw up somewhere at Keigo's anticts.)

- I consider Kuchiki – san as a wonderful, talented, kind-hearted, and beautiful girl. I would be more than honored to date her!"

Isshin nodded and looked at Yuzu who was seated beside him and Urahara who was to his extreme left. "Yes, she really is all those things and more, but I don't think my dear Rukia – chan would love horror films, nor is she the type who'd go to a karaoke."

"More sushi, Asano – san?" Yuzu asked. "Well, I think that Asano – san is a nice person (Ichigo snorts, Keigo was not nice.). And I think that he means well by taking Rukia – nee out on an expensive restaurant."

Beside her, Urahara snapped his fan open. "It was a horrid date idea. In my opinion, guys who bring their dates to a scary movie only want to cop a feel sometime later." He fanned himself studiously before giving Keigo a sly look "I'm sure you're waiting for Kuchiki – san to feel scared in the middle of the movie, don't you, Asano – kun? Bringing her to an expensive restaurant is not just a ploy to get her drunk, right?"

Yuzu gasped. "No way!"

"Told you he's a pervert." Grumbled Ichigo. "You shouldn't have let him in." Angrily he wondered who it was that helped Keigo get in the house. Though his father was a complete moron, he could be the culprit. Then again, if Urahara was here, he could likely be the one to blame. Somehow, Ichigo wondered just how it is that Keigo was able to make a good essay when he was the one who abhorred such projects in school. Since he was 100 percent sure that his sister could not have helped him, the only idea Ichigo had left was that Keigo paid someone to write his essay.

Due to blackmail, Ichigo was now unable to bodily haul any 'searchee' until the entire panel has rejected them. His father, Yuzu, and Urahara took it to themselves to screen the applicants and pass the verdict. In annoyance, Ichigo grimaced once again. As soon as they say the word, Ichigo would throw Keigo out of the house.

"Asano."

They all turned to see the rare sight of a pissed Isshin. "Is that really your plan for my third daughter?" A dark aura now surrounded Isshin. "Because I have to warn you, I am not tolerant of those males who take advantage of my precious daughters."

Keigo fidgeted uncomfortably. "N-n-no, s-sir!"

"Great!" Laughed Isshin as he stood up and patted Keigo on the shoulder. The dark cloud was immediately dispersed and everything became sunny once again. "Nice to hear, I like this guy!"

As Isshin went on to talk about different date movies, Ichigo took the time to look at his father. True, his old man can be an idiot most of the time, but he really would take care of his daughters.

Karin and Yuzu definitely would be taken care of when they discover dating, if his behavior regarding Rukia was any indication. However, he'd rather handle it himself than risk another episode like this in the future.

"Unfortunately, since there is no unanimous vote, we have to turn you down." Isshin finished seriously.

"NO!" Cried Keigo.

"Oh yes." Ichigo said as he reached Keigo in a flash and grabbed him be the collar. "You should have just ignored the poster, Keigo." He said somberly.

"But, I saw it in the Internet, Ichigo!" Keigo tried to explain. "You wouldn't do this to a friend, won't you?"

Wordlessly, Ichigo dragged Keigo towards the front door.

"Please, do reconsider, oh dad!" The now hysterical Keigo sobbed.

"Dad?" Ichigo asked incredulously. "Who are you calling dad? It better not be my old man you fool."

"WAIT!" Screamed Keigo "Are you doing this because you like Kuchiki – san and you want to go out with her? If that's the case –

"Goodbye, Keigo." Ichigo gritted out as he threw his classmate out of his home.

"Your son is SO violent, Kurosaki – san." Urahara said while chuckling from behind his fan.

(Page Break)

Seachee # 2

"I am well aware that women look for romance and affection. Kuchiki – san deserves all of these things. A girl as cute as her should be given a first date to remember. I'd start by taking her out to shop for adorable and cute stuffed animals; I think she likes that rabbit-thing. For dinner, we will eat at a nearby traditional soba house after we go to a museum of the Edo period, since Kuchiki – san seems to be very knowledgeable in Japanese history –

(You don't know half of it, Ichigo thought to himself).

I also have it on good authority – I did a research by the way – that she enjoys strawberries, so for dessert, we will head off to the market to buy them, then we'll eat them at the park with melted chocolate and cream."

Isshin, Yuzu, and Urahara looked at each other. "Um… well, I think that's a great idea for a date. Very impressive that you researched thoroughly on some of Rukia – chan's tastes. However, we feel that we have to say no."

"Does this have something to do with the fact that I'm a girl too?"

Isshin sighed "Ms. Honsho –

"Please call me Chizuru, Kurosaki – sama." Chizuru said bowing and giving the panel a level stare.

"My dear Chizuru. We're looking for guys to take my third daughter out." Isshin explained patiently, still floored at the idea of a girl – okay, a lesbian – being this aggressive in securing a date from his third daughter to give any exaggerated reaction.

Chizuru gasped in surprise "But I know a lot about her! You can't find a decent date like me!"

"Yes, but you're a girl." Urahara said placatingly, likewise as surprised as Isshin. Normally, these two men were able to take some comments like this in stride, but for today, they were simply… shocked to say the least. "I doubt that Kuchiki – san's preferences lean towards yours."

"But girls can do the same thing as boys!" She shrieked, appalled. "There are equal rights given to women. Denying me due to my gender and sexual orientation can be considered as harassment and prejudice!"

"I'm all for promoting the Women's Lib, yes, but I won't get any grandkids from you." Isshin said with a pout.

"That's absurd!" Chizuru said hotly. "I'll have you know that in the near future, reproduction through same-sex will be very much possible! Soon, I WILL have kids with the girl of my dreams, be it Kuchiki – san or my Hime!"

Isshin frowned "But I'm already old! I can't wait for the near future!"

Ichigo felt the need to intervene. "Oi, Chizuro. Let's go." He said, taking hold of the girl's arm and pulling her off the chair.

"I'm open to three-way!" Chiziru shouted as a last-ditch effort. "I'm also VERY adventurous."

Urahara looked at Isshin. "I'll bet." He said drolly. "That seems to be very promising and interesting."

"Sorry." Isshin called out, his hands still covering Yuzu's ears. He had been in that position since Chiziru said something about same-sex reproduction. Now, Isshin was a very scientific man, but for his innocent girl to hear about kinky stuff was something that Masaki would castrate

him in the afterlife for. Besides, he was more interested in cloning anyway. "Come back again sometime!" He called out to the girl.

"But...But…" Chizuro mumbled incoherently. "I'm a good date. Guys are pigs and morons anyway. Wait." She said, brightening up suddenly "My Hime! She's more open-minded about this things than old geezers anyway!"

"Of course she is." Ichigo said, agreeing with the distraught girl. Sorry, Inoue, he thought. I have to sic this weirdo on you.

Chizuro nodded as she stepped out. "Hey you know what? Your sister's kinda cute."

Ichigo forced himself not to fall facedown "She's too young for you." He said curtly.

"By the way, Kurosaki – san. Are you coming out of the closet then?"

"What?" Ichigo asked in surprise.

"Since you don't like Kuchiki – san, are you gay too?"

Good manners be damned.

(Page Break)

Searchee # 3

"I'm sure that Kuchiki – san will enjoy a good play in the evening. I can procure tickets to a really good Neil Simon's play that will be showing later. Should Kuchiki – san prefer something more near her age and tastes, I can arrange for two tickets to watch the Prince of Tennis musical play. There's also this new Italian restaurant that will be opening this evening, I've heard that Utada Hikaru will be performing there. Also, Isaka Tatsuya will also be there, as he is a friend of the owner." He then took out his cell phone. "In fact, let me ask if I can get a limo ride. My friend knows someone who operates such services. I think I can get a really large discount, if not get it for free."

"Very impressive." Isshin said. "So, Mr. Kojima – can I call you Mizuiro, by the way?

"By all means, Kurosaki – sensei, please do."

"Now, in your essay, you said that you are a friend of Rukia – chan."

"Yes that is correct." Mizuiro said as he continued to type something in his cell phone.

Isshin looked at the paper before continuing. "You also made mention that Rukia – chan really is not your type, but you're willing to help her out experience her first date, is that correct too?"

"Yes, Kurosaki – sensei."

"Can you tell me why on both counts?"

Now if there were anyone of the idiots that Ichigo felt the least to throttle, it would be Mizuiro. He himself said that Rukia wasn't his type. Of course, only idiots like Keigo would find Rukia attractive.

"As Kuchiki – san' s friend, I am very worried that males might take advantage of her innocence and naivety.

(Ichigo wanted to gag. Rukia, naiive and innocent? Sure, and Godzilla really was a nice pet to have.)

I'm sure that her experiencing what goes on during a date will be very educational for her. Besides, I like older women better. Compared to teenagers, mature women go into a relationship with both eyes open. There are no strings attached and they are more intelligent to talk to. Of course, mature women are also mainly uninhibited and they are very adventurous in many things, if you know what I mean." Mizuiro said with a sly smile. "Now, if Kuchiki – san was definitely older than me, well that's a different matter entirely."

Ichigo and the others looked up. Now that he was warming up to a topic he liked, the smile on Mizuiro's face was definitely charming yet rakish at the same time. Needless to say, Ichigo knew that this was the face that wooed many a mature and successful woman.

Unaware of the looks he was being given, Mizuiro continued on, enamored. "I would definitely find Kuchiki – san worthy of pursuit. It goes without saying that I am very relentless and my success is 90 guaranteed. In the event the relationship goes to a different path, we would still remain good friends."

"Dear god, don't make Mizuiro find out that Rukia is a shinigami 100 years older than him." Ichigo muttered to himself. He saw a side of his playboy friend that he wished he never ever saw.

"Of course, it goes without saying that my girlfriend encouraged me to apply."

"Girlfriend?" The others burst out.

Ichigo glared at his father. "Despite his little boy lost looks, Mizuiro is a notorious womanizer. He has a girlfriend 10 years older than him."

"Yes, Kurosaki – sensei. I have an older girlfriend. In fact, she suggested that I go out on dates with girls my age so I wouldn't be bored when she can't go out with me because of her heavy work schedule." Mizuiro nodded with pride at his girlfriend. "Besides, she said that girls want to be with mature men, so I guess nothing's wrong with that once in a while. I'm in a very open relationship."

"Really? Is that… well, possible?" Isshin asked with interest as Urahara just looked, dumbfounded that such a young man had so much maturity and experience. It was actually unnerving.

"Certainly. In fact my current girlfriend was introduced to me by the previous girlfriend while we were still dating."

Yup, Ichigo was right not to let Mizuiro in on the secret that Rukia was a shinigami that was more than twice his age.

Mizuiro's phone started to ring. "Ah, excuse me for a moment. Hello? Oh, hi darling. Yes, I'm asking her out on a date now… Really, you've got tickets available? Great…. And Chiyama – san will let me borrow the limo for free? Wonderful…"

Isshin and Urahara looked at each other. "This kid is amazing."

"I wonder if he takes pupils."

Yuzu suddenly looked at her father. "DAD! We can't let Rukia – nee go out on just a friendly date! This is supposed to be her first ROMANTIC date!"

(Page Break)

Searchee #4

"Do you mind explaining why I am here?" The irate voice of Ishida Uryu resounded within the Kurosaki living room.

Somewhere behind him, Ichigo released a pent-up sigh. This day was getting nowhere.

Isshin looked carefully at Ishida "This is an interview for prospective dates for Rukia – chan."

Pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, Ishida said frostily. "And why would I date Kuchiki – san then?"

Urahara folded his fan shut. "Well, I think that's what you're here for; to tell us WHY."

"Kuchiki is just a classmate. I am not interested in her in any form or way. Why I would go out with her on a date is way beyond my comprehension."

"I didn't know your son has idiotic friends who are low on comprehension." Urahara said in a stage whisper to Isshin. "Clearly, this one got hit on the head when he was born."

Ishida glared at the two grown-ups. "When I received an e-mail saying to submit my comprehensive resume, I was assuming that it was in deference to my abilities and not this farce where I would be made a fool."

Yuzu looked at her father in confusion. "Abilities?"

Ishida looked at Ichigo's sister in order to explain "My abilities in sewing. Perhaps I should offer to make Kuchiki a dress then."

"Oh no, she already has one. We went out yesterday." Yuzu explained paitiently.

"Oh my, Kurosaki – san, you roped in a pansy!" Urahara said in an exaggeratedly surprised voice.

Isshin sighed in disappointment as he drank his tea. "Too bad, I thought, since he loves Don Kanonji's Bura-Rei he is also a cool guy."

"Che. No one who watches Don Kanoji can be considered as cool."

Ishida did not even turn to face Ichigo as he said "And I suppose a Neanderthal like you can be considered as cool and learned?"

"Hey listen here you pansy, last I checked, sewing and watching Bura-Rei does not a Renaissance Man make." Countered Ichigo angrily.

Ishida suddenly sprung up and faced Ichigo. The Quincy glared at the substitute shinigami coldly. "Why you stupid –

"I dare you to finish that pansy." Ichigo said. The challenge in his amber eyes was now unmistakable. Due to the events that happened recently, Ichigo was feeling the tension reach him. He was now itching for a fight, and if this jerk didn't stop talking, he'll go bankai on his Quincy hide.

"This scenario really looks familiar." Mused Urahara almost to himself as he watched the two young men glare at each other.

"I wonder how Ryuken is doing, that lame-ass bastard." Isshin said to himself as he ate some more sashimi.

Ishida glared at Ichigo. "Look, I don't want to be here, okay? Someone just asked for my resume. Believe me, I have no intention on dating Kuchiki!"

"Well good, because – wait! Wait up! I don't even care if you want to go out with that midget!" Ichigo spluttered.

Ishida raised an eybrow. "Oh, so if I were to go out with Kuchiki, you'd have no problem with that?"

"Absolutely none!" Shouted Ichigo.

The two were caught up in their fight that they failed to notice that they had an audience.

"This is actually better than My Girl…My Life…. My Love – In Paris: Forever, you know, Kisuke. This was just like in that episode where Ian went against his love rival, Daniel." He said in between mouthfuls of sushi and sashimi. "Ah, no more tea."

Yuzu stood up, "I'll get some, Dad."

"Oh no, Yuzu, it's a shame for you to miss this one."

Urahara flipped his fan close. "Oh, so you watch My Girl…My Life…. My Love – In Paris: Forever too, Kurosaki – san? That's our favorite show in the shop. Ururu simply can't bear to miss an episode."

"Ah, my darling girls are also big fans of that show!"

"Why don't you just take the midget out on a date and give me some peace of mind?" Ichigo shouted, pointing an accusing finger at the Quincy.

"Be careful with what you wish for, Kurosaki. Who knows, you just might get what you want." Threatened Ishida. "I'm sure that would be an eventful night for you, pacing in your room, waiting when Kuchiki would come home. Then again, maybe you'd go out and stalk her to see how her date is going."

Ichigo's blood begun to boil "You wish!"

Suddenly, Ishida gave a triumphant and knowing smirk.

"Ah." Urahara mumbled. "Is this the end game?"

"Well." Ishida said smugly, "at least I'm considerate enough to tell you that when I take her out tonight, she will enjoy the date. So as to save you the time and effort in going after us, let me assure you that I will keep my hands to myself until we reach your household."

"What. Are. You. Talking. About." Ichigo gritted out.

"Why the post-date kiss, of course Kurosaki. Do you think that I would forget that part?" Ishida smiled. "Do you think that I would be Kuchiki's first kiss?"

That was all it took for Ichigo to snap. In a flash, he was already in front of Ishida. "What did you say you bastard?" He growled. The nearness of the substitute shinigami made Ishida aware of the simmering reiatsu that he was emitting. To his surprise and horror, blackness was building up at the corner of his eyes.

"Oh dear." Urahara said, standing up immediately.

"Yuzu! Get some go to the store and get me 2 cups of instant ramen and a pack of juice, NOW! Isshin ordered his daughter, handing her his wallet before ushering her out of the room. Quickly he thrust in her arms a stuffed plushie of a lion. "Bring Bostafu with you, he'll love the fresh air!"

Kon simply sweatdropped. As Yuzu stepped out of the house in a dash, Isshin immediately ran to his son. "Ichigo!" he cried as he kicked the young man smack on his head. "How dare you be that way to our guest?"

Urahara ushered Isshida to the door. "Thank you for coming. However, the vote is unanimous, you're simply too boring for Kuchiki – san. So there, goodbye!"

(Page Break)

Searchee #5

It took quite a while before Ichigo was able to calm down. He was silently berating himself for losing control of his reiatsu. It was a miracle that no hollow decided to head over to his home to look for him. Behind his mind, he heard his hollow side snicker again. The bastard actually though of taking advantage of him even while he was in his body! Ichigo had to remind himself to kill Ishida the next time he saw him, which was tomorrow at school.

Finally, Yuzu returned from her impromptu trip to the store.

"Well then. I'm sure that we can pull this one off and get a date for Rukia – chan tonight, eh?" isshin said good-naturedly as he sifted through his papers.

"Give it up, old man." Ichigo said. "There is no way you'd pull this scheme off in time for Rukia's arrival."

"Oh but Kurosaki – kun, never underestimate miracles." Urahara said loftily. Life has a way of doing reeeaaaallly crazy things!"

"Can this be?" Isshin said in a surprised tone. "I thought my eyes were deceiving me, but no!"

"We have another applicant?" Yuzu asked hopefully.

"I have a feeling that 5 is our lucky number." Urahara predicted.

Ichigo scoffed at his father "Shut your trap old man. No one is outside."

Isshin immediately showed the manila envelope and its contents to Urahara and Yuzu.

"I don't believe it!" Yuzu gushed out. "This is…this is…"

Urahara flipped his fan open and laughed. "I'll be damned, now pigs really do fly!"

"Or hell just froze over." Isshin said in reverence.

Ichigo was annoyed enough at the dramatics. As far as he knew, there was no one outside the house, so there were no other applicants waiting for their interview. However, he froze as he saw the three look at him. "What?" He asked surly.

Was it his imagination, or was Kon – who was held by Yuzu – giving him a beady-eyed glare?

Isshin stood up immediately. "Ichigo! I never knew that you were interested in Rukia – chan that way! I'm SO proud that you finally took a step into becoming a real man!"

"I agree." Urahara said. "Definitely a go-getter, that son of yours is, Kurosaki - san. Who knew he had such a forceful personality?"

"What?" Ichigo fairly shouted. "Don't give me that crap, old man! There is NO WAY –

" - In hell?" Urahara interjected.

"Only when –

"- Pigs fly?" Urahara asked hopefully.

"SHUT UP!"

Isshin gave his son a laughing look "Oh but my dear son, you submitted your resume, statement of our household's assets and liabilities, and your essay on the topic Why Should Rukia-Chan Pick Me As Her Date! Mind you, you also gave a 2X2" picture, though not in blue background. But I suppose we can let that slide. "

"Lemme see that!" Ichigo shouted as he lunged at his father, trying to grab the papers.

No way! No freaking way! Everything was accounted for, even the stupid essay. The handwriting was his; in fact, there was no mistaking it. In similar Ichigo fashion, the essay was only a single page and in one line. The answer to the question Why Should Rukia-Chan Pick Me As Her Date was only done in a single, forceful sentence: Because Kuchiki Rukia is MINE alone.

As Ichigo heard the familiar snickering in his head, he realized that there was a reason he slept for so long and had nightmares last night.

"I think we have a winner! Oh Maksai! I'm so happy that our son has finally acknowledged the burning passion that he definitely has for my dear third daughter!" Isshin's happy voice was heard in the background, amidst the cheers of "Banzai!"

The horse really had a way of trying to unseat its rider.

(Page Break)

A/N: One more chapter down! By far, the longest I wrote for this fic. Sorry for the words (Page Break) coming out many times. I really don't know how to separate the paragraphs.

Okay, so first up, thanks to the kind people who reviewed my previous two chapters! I feel happy to get your wonderful encouragement and compliments! Congratulations to Rawr Cheese who was so nice to reply to my question. Yes, it was Ichigo's hollow that was laughing all the while. I'm sure many of you thought that I was mental for just randomly mentioning the laughter (Don't worry, I'm used to being called crazy) but I was really trying to set the mood for this chapter.

Now, lets get down to business. Do you guys think that this chapter is kinda OOC? I tried to put myself in their shoes and just imagine how they'd react to Isshin, so I'm sorry if it seemed a bit off. Seriously folks, I'm trying so hard to make sure that you guys will enjoy the story. I mean, frankly, I don't enjoy OOC stories as well, so I consciously make an effort or justify my use of OOC moments. The part where Chizuru and Mizuiro were interviewed was my favorite parts. Then the one with Ishida and Ichigo came next. As for the dream sequence (or nightmare sequence, if you may), it was very difficult to write, considering I haven't seen an episode of Ichigo's dream (or did I miss one?) so I had to really wrack my brains for inspiration.

Finally, two favorite characters of mine make an appearance: Kon and Urahara. Based on the episodes that I've watched, Ichigo has no idea that his father and Urahara knew each other since both were former shinigami captains. That's why I went out of the way to get Urahara into the house without raising suspicious. Unfortunately, that was the only plausible idea that I had. Hope it was okay for you guys. I also made references to My Girl…My Life…. My Love – In Paris: Forever. The show I made by stringing themes and titles from popular Asian dramas. Once again, no infringement was done, ok? I also mentioned POT, a favorite show of mine, while I added Utada Hikaru as well since I like her songs. The actor Isaka Tatsuya is the really cute guy who played Ichigo Kurosaki in the BuriMyu or the Bleach Rock Musical. I think he looks the part, especially since he had his hair dyed orange. He's just so kawaii!

To wrap this LONG commentary, thank you once again for waiting for this installment. I have to find my muse so we can do the much-awaited chapter where Ichigo and Rukia go on a date. Argh! Must concentrate… I need my Bleach fix. And oh yeah, please take the time to review. I really want to know what you guys think of this chapter and this story.

So, until then: I'll see you when I see you!