Chapter 29: A Name I Haven't Heard in a While…
"Thank you, Alec. I never knew this was such thirsty work…"
"You've attended your fair share of parties and festivals over the years and only now are you feeling worn out from the whole thing? I never knew I was such exhausting company."
Taking the offered beer with a mild pout at his words Ganyu elaborated with, "It's not that I have never experienced the full breadth of celebrations before, merely that I often found myself excused after a time for various reasons."
Giving the Adeptus a wry look Alec remarked, "Let me take a wild guess at what that means in Ganyu speak. There was work that needed to be done so I left the party early. It's actually kinda sad that staying for the whole thing is what tires you out more than any other task."
Affixing him with a sullen expression Ganyu nonetheless used one hand to fan herself, the slightest sheens of sweat on her brow as she drank deeply from the mug he'd offered-
-and began to frantically cough, Alec chuckling as he gently patted her on the back, teasing, "Yeah, you really haven't been doing this for very long if you choke on your first sip of beer, Ganyu."
He received a flat look for his sass, the Adeptus finally deciding to fire back as she pointedly asked, "And you have? Unless my memory fails you once tried my sweet flower salad and complained that I had 'turned your mouth inside out' with how potent it was."
"And with good reason, even Morax was tapping out after that one."
"On the contrary, I remember the Lord of Geo requesting a second helping."
"Hmm, guess my memory isn't what it used to be. Funny, I could have sworn there was a blue-haired woman somewhere in there who had spent probable centuries refining and enhancing the potency of the plant specifically to make a man's gums bleed."
They favored each other with challenging looks, daring the other to contradict the story…and instead broke out into mutual chuckles, Ganyu taking a more controlled sip of her beverage before leaning her head against the man's shoulder, content sigh leaving her lips as with more courage required than he cared to admit he laced his fingers through hers, the duo taking a few moments just to enjoy the atmosphere as the festival winded down, workers carrying supplies and taking down tents as a few final fireworks went off in the distance with fading booms.
The man was honestly surprised at how wistful he felt looking at the whole process, inundated with the knowledge and certainty that he wasn't going to be able to see anything like it again within a few short years, if that.
"Might as well enjoy it while I can, then."
"You seem more contemplative and calm than normal."
"Hmm? How so?"
Giving the Adeptus a contemplative look she elaborated with, "You were always an active soul, certainly not one that would humor my attraction towards you."
"Ouch. Way to be blunt about it."
"Nonetheless you now do so. And while I am truly happy that you have done so I nonetheless wonder why."
Briefly wondering if the passing guard that snuffed a large bonfire and cast them into further darkness was being a dramatic and cosmically inspired asshole Alec instead let loose a quiet sigh, knowing unfortunately well he could have only put this off for so long.
But put it off he would.
"Who knows, maybe it finally took me a few thousand years to finally wise up to a good thing?"
"Cloud Retainer always said that it was through no fault of my own that you always ignored my attempts at, well…romance. She said that you viewed almost all life forms on Teyvat as children and that I was no exception."
Alec snorted, remarking, "I bet she said it a lot less politely than that."
"There…may have been a few additional comments that would best not be repeated."
"Go figure that prickly bird knew more than she let on…but in the spirit of honesty the child excuse was always that, an excuse. You stopped being a kid when you were no more than thirty, the war saw to that. I never acted on things because, well…"
He scratched the back of his head in a rare moment of awkwardness.
"Immaturity, I guess. It was only a small part of me that thought of you as a kid, mostly I didn't feel it was appropriate or fair to you for me to be absent and wandering across the world and not returning for several years at a time."
"That and there was a fair number of intimate encounters during said travels, I'm not a two-timer. Which isn't exactly a good subject to bring up at the moment."
"That first reason doesn't even apply at all now. After all, you were pressed up against me for a good two hours as we waltzed the night away…"
He let a roguish grin appear on his lips.
"You were pretty round as a kid but now? Let me tell you, as an adult you have curves in all the right places."
"A-Alec! That is hardly…I was not that round as a little girl, I wasn't!"
Shaking his head in brief amusement at the plaintive cry of protest he more honestly added, "The second? Well, you know how my spontaneous journey to Khaenri'ah and Celestia turned out."
Shifting gears as quickly as he did the Adeptus was quick to squeeze his hand, consolingly saying, "Maeili was in danger and by extension so was all of Teyvat, you did what many couldn't and averted a far worse crisis."
He shook his head, wryly smiling all the while.
"It's nice of you to say so, Ganyu, but what I did was ultimately the worse of two decisions. Had I not rushed off without a backwards glance I could have mustered the Archons and organized a proper response to Celestia and the Abyss, ending the threat hanging over our heads in one go."
He released an old, tired sigh.
"Maeili was gone the second Celestia began the Cataclysm and spurred the Abyss into action, the decade or so it would have taken to gather our forces wouldn't have made any difference whatsoever. Hell, Mondstadt and Sumeru were already in the line of fire, the other nations would have been perfectly happy to get behind a united front if only to spare themselves the trouble."
The man raised his hands in a small gesture of surrender.
"I did what I did for a friend and in the process left behind a great many more of them, getting every last one of my tribe killed in the process while ultimately falling short of my goal. It was the wrong decision, simple as that."
While Ganyu wasn't happy with his words he cut off any further protest by saying, "That's not the point of this conversation anyway, I…"
He winced, rubbing his temples in agitation before muttering, "This is really damn difficult."
"Alec? What is it?"
Gaze landing on the genuinely concerned and worried expression Ganyu held he felt a wave of bitterness rise up in his throat, that he was doing this to the poor woman.
"If only I'd had the damn guts to accept her feelings earlier maybe this would sting less. Or maybe it would hurt a lot more, wish I was smart enough to tell."
Finally gaining the courage to be a Human being possessing a modicum of self-respect he withdrew his knife, showing the Adeptus the broken and flawed Gnosis attached to it.
"I demanded more than I was prepared to handle during my assault on Celestia. I wager I have maybe a decade at best - in reality a whole lot less - before it breaks and…then I'm dead."
He forced himself to watch the myriad of emotions flash across Ganyu's face, hating every second of it. Horror, shock, disbelief and finally settling on the most painful of all of them, denial.
"B-but Archon Gnosis are largely ceremonial in nature, being removed from one does not equate to death, they have existed long before they ever came to be!"
"Not the case for mine."
Alec settled on a wry smile, elaborating with, "Their Gnosis are manifestations of a covenant between the Heavens and the victors of the Archon War, a trade between equal parties. The Archons were given further control over their respective elements so that they could more effectively shape their nation's destinies and Celestia didn't have to worry about doing battle with beings still bathed in both the metaphorical and literal blood of their strongest rivals, cementing themselves as the most powerful beings in Teyvat at the height of their strength."
He lightly tapped the fractured design.
"This? A crystallization of Alec Daman, the physical and tangible proof of my being, my tether to this world and when it goes so do I."
Ganyu thickly swallowed, hesitantly whispering, "Can…can it be repaired? There are esoteric rituals aplenty the world over and-"
He shook his head, replying, "Unless you have a way to turn back time it's not happening. Trust me, I was always curious about that and thousands of years of on and off searching never revealed anything meaningful. If Rukkhadevata and the rest of Sumeru never discovered anything worth mentioning then no one can."
"But…but you're the God of Death! How are you even able to die?"
A fond, nostalgic smile graced the man's lips, that very question one that had been asked more than once over the course of his life, the world around him seeming to go quiet at the speaking of his title before resuming a moment later, as if respecting the weight such an ordainment held.
"I'm merely the wielder and host of Death, Ganyu. Alec Daman was always just a normal Human, about as far away from actual Gods as you can get. The Archons often began as manifestations of their respective elements that formed an ego only after significant amounts of time and will never truly vanish from this world even if the ego is destroyed."
This time his smile was more at ease, more amused.
"So when death comes calling I can't really do much else but answer, I'm the last person with any right to argue for more time."
The good cheer vanished quickly enough when he saw Ganyu's crestfallen expression, the chaotic emotions swirling with her eyes enough to make him feel like an ass all over again.
The last time he'd ever felt even close to this terrible was when he'd left Rukkhadevata to face the approaching cataclysm on her own before rushing off to Khaenri'ah with barely so much as a backwards glance…and hadn't that worked out wonderfully?
"Why…why are you telling me this now? Are you trying to comfort me before you die, or some other desperate amendment?"
Feeling like a gang of Hilichurls had decided to pay his gut special attention with their clubs - not at all helped by the fact that Ganyu was sort of right on the mark - he replied, "No. I'm trying to avoid making the same mistakes I made in the past, wandering off to die and leaving behind no shortage of people who would have wondered what happened to me."
He actually felt worse as Ganyu seemed to catch on to how her previous words sounded, quickly stating, "Oh Alec, I'm sorry, here you are trying to do something impossibly hard and-"
"Ganyu? There has to be a limit to your selflessness and goodwill, I refuse to believe it's bottomless."
His interruption earned a few surprised blinks before a watery smile appeared, the Adeptus gazing out over the slowly darkening cityscape of Liyue as she softly inquired, "You said you believe you have a few years left…is that true? Or did you not take into account the activities you'll no doubt be engaging in soon?"
"In all actual honesty I'd give myself weeks, if that."
He forced himself to give voice to the truth, adding, "There's still a score to be settled with Celestia and if I'm going to die I'd rather it go with me, so that all of you can pursue a future with one less danger lurking overhead."
"...And you accuse me of being selfless."
The woman shook her head, bitterly reflecting, "It all leads back to Khaenri'ah, doesn't it?"
"It was one of the more disruptive and far reaching nightmares to crop up in recent memory."
They fell into a silence that was a sharp contrast to the ones from earlier, now empty and fraught with tension.
"May I…may I have a few days to myself? I just need…I just need to think for awhile."
Ignoring the heavy feeling in his stomach and really wanting to ask what she needed to think about Alec just settled for a nod, replying, "Of course, if you need to find me I'll be at the funeral parlor or you can leave a message. If I don't come to check in on you first."
The Adeptus merely offered a small smile, her hand briefly squeezing his before she strode off in a distant and uncertain gait towards Liyue proper, Alec sitting in the continually dimming courtyard as he fought down the rare moment of helpless depression.
The conversation had gone about as well as could be realistically hoped for and he still felt like shit, eventually pushing off the bench and stalking towards no particular destination, relying on physical exertion to hopefully quiet his blackening mood.
It didn't.
"Funny. I can face down my own death without batting an eye but the thought of leaving behind all this uncertainty and loose ends has me grinding my teeth down to nubs."
He released an explosive sigh, hand running through his hair.
"How did Maeili, Ghuizhong, Rukkhadevata and so many others manage to pass on with smiles? Didn't they worry about what they were leaving behind, what challenges they would face?"
Maeili had been the worst of all, his friend only smiling that same self-satisfied grin as he'd ran her heart through with his knife, as if they had just happened to spontaneously cross paths on the street one day rather than bring to an end millennia of off and on again playfulness.
Eventually leaving the walls of the city itself in the vain hope that nature would provide some reprieve Alec instead decided that he may as well do something productive in the meantime as well as work out his ire. Maybe some bandits or other threats would be taking up residence nearby in the wake of Osial's awakening, that could-
Fsssshhh…
Instinct had Alec dropping into a dead sprint as the ground he'd stood upon just a few moments prior erupted in a spray of dirt, grass and flame as a series of detonations chased after him, a quick glance around the area revealing a Ruin Guard flanked by a pair of Abyss Mages on a nearby hill, the mechanical monster running out of projectiles as he slid to a stop just as the final few explosives went off right where he would have been running, Alec rising to his feet and dusting off his coat before casually announcing, "You know your sister has her priorities straight, unless she got enormously unlucky she's having a grand old time with two hapless maidens right now, not trying to chase down some guy in the countryside."
"If she knew everything about what you'd done she might feel differently."
Alec shook his head, flicking away a few smoldering embers from his shoulder before idly remarking, "The Cataclysm looks different from the outside, Aether. And there's a lot of different angles you can view it from."
What could have easily been a genderbent Lumine stood no more than twenty paces away from him, flanked by an Abyss Herald and Lector as he stared with open distaste.
"So, I assume this is an attempt at settling old scores?"
"More than an attempt."
Aether's eyes held a pitiable amount of both grief and desire for retribution as he announced, "Teyvat has never had to pay for the crimes they committed, letting Khaenri'ah take the fall and abandoning it to its fate. This is merely the first step-"
"Take it from someone who's been around for a long time, kid…you're not the type of person who's going to feel anything but hollow if you do succeed."
"And that's because you know me so well, isn't it?"
Merely smirking at the disgusted words Alec glibly replied, "I know your sister. And I know enough to confidently say she'd never agree with what you're doing."
Clearly having struck a nerve the blonde acidly retorted, "Finally something we agree on. I guess you'll die happy knowing you were right."
"Die?"
A genuinely amused laugh escaped Alec, languidly remarking, "If you really did desire my death you'd only have to wait for a few weeks…regardless, my end is going to be a bit more expensive than some mere assassination attempt in the middle of nowhere. Besides-"
He unsheathed his knife, the Abyss soldiers tensing and growling slightly at the hated weapon as he idly twirled it in his fingers.
"Your timing is really, really shit. I'm in a rare and particularly foul mood so I'm going to kick the daylights out of you all for a bit before I feel better."
For just a moment the gathered Abyss soldiers stiffened, color seeming to inundate the world as they turned gray before it returned to normal just as quickly, a mocking smile on their target's face.
"Well? Come and get the belt, boys and girls."