My disclaimer
I know Disney owns "Kim Possible"...lock, stock, and Rufus. Before I get done, I will probably tick off a few more studios, too. If they want to sue me, they have to get behind all my other creditors. Since I am in south Florida, the line has formed to the right and goes all the way to Sacramento!
To all readers:
1)--MOST IMPORTANT NOTE OF THE ENTIRE STORY--Back in the middle of July, I already had a rough outline of this story. Two of the 'set-in-stone' parts of the story are included in this chapter. One part was meant to be done tastefully and respectfully as a reflection of one of the saddest eras in world history. The other part was meant to be completely a work of fiction. A few weeks later, some incidents similar to the second part happened in 'real-life'. These actual incidents are heart-wrenching for all concerned. IT IS NOT my intention to make light of their pain and suffering OR to turn their plight into a punch-line of some sick, twisted joke. My sincere and heart-felt prayers go out to those affected by these tragedies. I repeat this note because of the flashbacks at the beginning of this chapter.
2) Because of the "hurry-up-and-wait" aspect of 'The Amazing Race', some of the dialogue may read like a play's script, the rest may read like a normal story. I am sorry, but it's the only way to preserve the pacing of the story to match that of a standard 'Amazing Race' episode.
3) The departure times, seat availability, and duration of flights are completely fictional—Please do not waste your time trying to correct me by using info from travel sites and various brochures. Also, the Khalid Race Track is complete fiction. We are dealing with cartoons here, remember?
4) Unless I get a lot of requests to do so, the opening theme sequence will only be posted in the first chapter and referenced back to it throughout the rest of the story.
5) I did receive a few reviews questioning the story's placement in the "Kim Possible" category instead of somewhere else. I hoped the intensive focus on Kim & Ron in the last few legs…Oh, forget it! If you don't know it's a KP-universe story by now, you're too brain-dead to read this, anyway…I'm sure the Simpsons section of FanFiction would love your attention.
6) Instead of 'surprise' clues, I have added a few 'guest stars' to this chapter. Since they are not completely 'in character', I felt ethically obligated to change their names. If you like these 'guest stars', let me know. If not, let me know! Either way, it's up to you, the loyal reader, to let me know what you want. Review me, e-mail me if you wanna reach me! If you want to 'PM' me, that's ok! (Sorry…got carried away there, but you get the idea.) Enjoy!
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(Off-screen voice of Phil): "Previously, on "The Amazing Race" ……More surprises awaited our racers on their way to Rio de Janeiro…
(Off-screen voice of Phil): "Any two teams can agree to swap positions in the race, as well as racing time elapsed…once the 'Swap' has been performed by two teams, the team initiating the 'Swap' is subject to 'Payback' by the other team at any time during the 'Swap & Payback' period...only during the fourth and fifth legs of the race (meaning this one and the next one). After the fifth leg, any unused 'Swaps' or 'Paybacks' will become null and void…
"…One team was actually gullible enough—I mean brave enough—to take advantage of this so early in the leg…
"Could you please 'Swap' your departure time with ours?" asked Fry.
"Are you completely sure you want to do this?" Ron inquired.
Bender impatiently cut in between Fry and Ron. "Yeah, yeah, yeah! Let's get this done before we all miss the plane, okay?"
"As you wish," said Ron…TRANSACTION COMPLETED
"…After a grueling Heptathlon and a massive traffic jam, teams found Jesus at Mount Corcovado—only to discover…
PHIL: "Kim & Ron, I have some bad news and some good news…First, you are the last team to arrive…BUT this leg is not over yet! You are still racing!!
After taking their clue, Kim turned to Ron and asked, "What part of Phil's talk was supposed to be good news, anyway?"
"Beats me, Kim…beats me…"
"…Kim learned about Ron's disturbing vision…
"Kim," he said, "Sensei mentioned grave danger lying ahead for me…"
"…and made him pay the price for telling her…
"Danger?" she gasped. "Danger?? I'LL show you DANGER!!" She began to violently shake Ron as she pulled tighter on his shirt—a little too tight. "BOY, YOU GOT SOME SPLAININ' TO DO!!!" Kim roared at the top of her lungs.
Ron's face was starting to turn red—and not from blushing. "K---P!---Can't---splain---if---can't---breathe," croaked Ron.
"…A 'Road Block' gave team members a sobering view of apartheid in South Africa…
…Scooby noticed a German shepherd as he was about to turn a corner in the museum. He barked at the smaller dog, but it didn't seem to notice him. Scooby turned the corner and saw the German shepherd had his mouth open and facing a black child no more than eight years old. Scooby tried to move the other dog when he discovered both it and the child were wax figures…
"…At the 'Detour', some teams made beauty out of thread…
…All three teams took note of the demonstrations and created beautiful blankets to be donated to a local Christian-missionary church and given to three poor families. They emerged from the warehouse with their clues at about the same time—a three-way battle for first place…
"…making 'Race' history in the process…
Thankfully, six camera spheres were able to capture all angles of the first-ever three-way 'photo finish' in 'Amazing Race' history…
PHIL: "After a review of the recordings…Congratulations, Bugs & Elmer! You're team number ONE!! Robin & Starfire…You're team number two. That makes Shaggy & Scooby team number three."
"…One team faced a complete nightmare…
PHIL (smiling broadly): "Bender & Fry, you're team number four, and you are still in the… (shocked when he hears rumbling in the distance)…oh, no… (rumbling continues as he yells into his communication earpiece)…Trouble at the mine…MOVE IT!"
…At that moment, the local emergency response center received at least thirty calls for immediate help. Almost all of the calls were the same…three people were trapped in a massive collapse of the Cullinan Diamond Mine.
"…causing practically the whole world to stand still…
…Rescue workers, geologists, seismologists, earth-moving equipment operators, and mine officials responded quickly to the scene…Along the farm's outer perimeter, thousands of people gathered for an impromptu vigil. First, it was just the 'Ronnies'; then the 'Men in Jumpsuits' and the other competitors joined the group. Soon, some local residents began to gather with this crowd as well…During one of the conversations with his foreman, the spotter accidentally mentioned the name of one of the other trapped victims just before passing out. This brought forth an onslaught of virtually every media outlet in the world—from the New York Times to the Central Oregon Senior Times, and everything in between…
"…and once again believe in miracles…
…The crowd heard more rumbles coming from the mine. This made their hearts sink further. Soon after that, a swirling gust shoved the rescue workers and paramedics at least 500 feet away from the mine entrance. They would be grateful for that unexplained whirlwind a moment later, as…
KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOM!!
…rock, dirt, iron framing and various pieces of equipment nearly covered the entire cleared distance, the worst of the debris stopping nearly at their feet…
…Not a word was spoken as a glow resembling Team Possible flew to their marked car. The glow disappeared as they opened a yellow envelope, entered the car, started the engine, and sped away faster than any police radar could detect…
"…It also provided one of the most emotional 'Pit Stop' arrivals ever…
PHIL: "Kim & Ron, I am truly thankful you are alive and safe. However, I must inform you…that this was one of two pre-determined non-elimination legs of the race. That's why the 'Swap' period lasts so long. I must also say that if you continue the race, you will be 'marked for elimination'. This means if you do not finish first in the next leg of the race, you will suffer a thirty-minute penalty, and other teams can 'check-in' ahead of you…
"Now, I can't really blame you two if you just want to walk away right now. But please…at least consider the possibility of staying in the race. I know of at least a few friends who would miss you if you leave now, myself included…
"Kim…You have shown a great amount of patience and held your temper longer than any red-head I have ever known…This race gave you once-in-a-lifetime experiences, and it promises to give you many more. The challenge is yours, if you wish to take it…
"Ron, you're a rock of stability and a true hero, showing heart unmatched by 'Rocky' himself. Your mind gained an even higher level of compassion as you toured the Apartheid Museum. Don't tell me that didn't affect you somehow. After what happened at the mine today, I am convinced you can do anything!"
KIM (sharply): "Hey! That's my line!"
PHIL (chuckling now): "Ok, ok, fair enough. So what do you say, you two? Are you up for the challenge ahead?"
RON: "We are in it…"
KIM: "…to win it!"
ROBIN/STARFIRE/BUGS/ELMER/SHAGGY/SCOOBY/PHIL: "BOO-YEAH!!!" (Giving Kim & Ron a massive 'group hug')
RON (smiling and rolling his eyes): "Again with the line-stealing!"
"…What other surprises await our remaining five teams on their quest for One MILLION Dollars...and what surprises do they possibly have for us???
This brought out a gasp and a look of sheer panic on Kim's face, followed by a series of rapid-fire questions that would make a cop on 'SCI' proud. "Is-he-ok-Did-anything-happen-to-Yori-What-about-Hirotaka-Is-the-school-in-danger-Did-Monkey-Fist-bust-loose-and-try-to-recapture-the-Lotus-Blade-Is-Sensei-mad-about-that-joke-Star-and-I-pulled-on-you-and-Robin-Does-this-have-anything-to do-with-the-girls-that-keep-popping-up-How-about-those-dudes-in-the-jump-suits-WHAT'S-THE-SITCH???"
"…Find out NEXT!"
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'Amazing Race' opening theme begins... (Please go to chapter 1 for theme sequence)
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So The Reality: 'Amazing Race'-Johannesburg (Leg #5)
(Off-screen of Phil): "This is the main residence of the integrated Elandsfontein Farm, just outside of Johannesburg. It is one of the few working plantations remaining in South Africa, and the fourth 'Pit Stop' in a race around the world…
"…After 'checking in' at the 'Pit Stop', teams stayed for a mandatory rest period to recharge and interact with the other teams; however, some teams got more rest than others..."
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2:15 PM—Day 7
Sure, the competitors were tired. After all, they just ran two legs worth of the race—for some, nearly 44 hours straight—without a break. The two looooooooong trips didn't provide much chance to get sleep along the way. Economy class flights have a way of doing that—even to cartoons!
Maybe they were all 'punch-drunk' from exhaustion. Maybe they were glad not to be 'on the run', even for a short while. Maybe they were just so grateful Kim & Ron didn't tell Phil and the 'Race' producers where to go, how to get there, and twenty-seven ways to keep their hands busy on the trip.
Still, this didn't stop the teams from the Titans, Looney Tunes, and Mystery, Inc. from throwing one heck of a party. They just had to celebrate…Their new friends, Team Possible, just stared Death in the face—and made it blink!
The residence was indeed grand in its splendor. The main hall was more than large enough for an elaborate—albeit last-minute—celebration. Some of the local residents provided music, and there was more than enough food for all—even the excessive appetites of Shaggy & Scooby!
About an hour into the shindig, several of the 'Ronnies' tried to invite themselves into the main hall. Before they could take three steps past the door, a group of men in those now-familiar blue-and-green jumpsuits tackled the party crashers with the speed and force of an all-star defensive line from the National Football Association.
Near the end of the celebration, some high-ranking dignitaries joined the festivities. Among them was South African president W. F. De Kashier, in town for a meeting with his finance director. He only stayed for a short time, given his busy schedule. He did, however, pull Phil aside and gave him a large envelope emblazoned with the presidential seal. He also whispered very specific instructions to Phil concerning the envelope's security—and mentioned very specific consequences should that security be compromised in any way! Phil gasped in shock as his ears hung on every word…
"What was that? (more whispering) If I don't get it safely to Ron, your soldiers will shove WHAT? (more whispering) WHERE?? (more whispering) …and pull the TRIGGER??? Mister President!! (more whispering) Of course he gave you the idea, but that bunny needs some serious therapy!! (more whispering) Thank you, Mr. President."
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Though the teams wanted the party to last longer, common sense reared its ugly head again; and they really did need some sleep to function well in the race ahead. As the rest of the teams retired to their rooms upstairs, Bender & Fry were continuing to answer questions posed by local law-enforcement officials…
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'AMAZING RACE' HEADQUARTERS--LOS ANGELES, CA
…'Race' producers Jerry Bricklayer and Herman van Munster, along with head writer Thad Marster, discussed the Cullinan Mine disaster with Phil via video conference. After closing the connection, they heard an ominous stomping sound approaching the room. After a firm knock, a strange man entered the room and presented his credentials—at least he sort of looked like a man.
The stranger quickly examined his surroundings. He then found a USB port on a computer in the room and formed one of his fingers into a standard connector for the port. After inserting his finger/connector into the port, a multi-page legal document appeared on the screen. Viewing this document caused Jerry, Herman, and Thad to immediately provide the stranger anything he wanted—camera sphere recordings, news footage, neuro-chip readings, Double Cow with cheese (hold the onions), anything at all—with the full smiles of three normally-powerful men in absolute fear for their lives…
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(Off-screen voice of Phil): "Bugs & Elmer, Robin & Starfire, and Shaggy & Scooby all arrived at 11:26 am on Day 7 of the race. Normally, they would depart 12 hours later, at 11:26 pm. However, 'Race' officials have made an executive decision to extend the rest period an additional 12 hours, for trauma adjustment and cooperation with local, national, and international authorities. Because of the extension, these teams will depart at…
11:26 AM—Day 8
BUGS (reading clue): "Fly yourselves…
STARFIRE: "…to Kuwait City…"
SHAGGY: "…Kuwait."
(Off-screen voice of Phil): "Teams must fly to Kuwait City, the capital of Kuwait. This tiny nation was the object of an invasion from nearby Iraq, which triggered the first Gulf War, known initially as 'Operation Desert Shield', then 'Operation Desert Storm'…
"…Since its liberation from Iraqi forces, Kuwait City has undergone a massive period of rebuilding. One of the city's crown jewels is the Liberation Tower, completed and named after the end of Iraqi occupation. After their flight, teams must travel there by taxi to receive their next clue."
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BUGS (continuing with clue): "Four teams will have $200 for this leg…
STARFIRE: "…of the race, but one team is …"
SHAGGY: "…'marked for elimination', and …"
11:59 AM
FRY: "…will receive no money from us for this leg."
2:07 PM
…Kim & Ron were two minutes away from their assigned time to resume the race when Phil pulled Ron out of the room. He whispered something in Ron's ear and presented him the envelope from President DeKashier. Before he could say anything about this, Phil stuffed the envelope in Ron's 'Race' backpack.
Just when Kim caught up with them, Phil pulled the same act on her, without the envelope.
'Kim", Phil whispered, "I'll tell you the same thing I told Ron. I just want to thank each of you personally for staying in the race. There's not much demand for out-of-work hosts these days, so I really need this gig!" He lied to her about this message being the exact same thing he told Ron. He preferred not to have any of the nearby armed guards follow through on DeKashier's threat.
The whirlwind effect of these actions left both Ron and Kim a bit confused.
"Are you almost as tweaked about that as I am?" Ron asked.
"I know," she responded. "It's almost as weird as all those groupies who keep following us—actually you."
Ron had been tempted before to 'come clean' with Kim about the project he devised with Sensei and his father. Its popularity was the real reason behind both the 'Ronnies' and the Men in Jumpsuits. His last two confession attempts, however, were unsuccessful—first he was hit by a fifty-pound bundle of bananas, then came the mine incident.
"Um, yeah. Kim, I gotta tell you…" At that point, a bell chimed to signal it was time to resume the race.
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2:09 PM
…Kim read the clue aloud. She frowned when she got to the part about receiving no money for this leg of the race. She received a little reassurance from Ron as they entered the taxi headed for the airport.
"Don't worry, KP. I saved a little money from the other race legs. We'll make it. We've been through too much to get tripped up by a little 'cash-flow' issue, okay?"
This put her at ease as they approached the airport…
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2:53 PM
…Once again, the four teams already at the airport were wondering if the fifth would be joining them on the one flight that day going the right city. Their fears—or hopes, for some—were almost realized as the first boarding call went out for their flight…
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3:09 PM
…Not to miss the plane themselves, Bugs & Elmer took their seats. They were soon followed by Bender & Fry…Shaggy & Scooby…Robin & Starfire…and Kim & Ron! The last pair had been running at (non-glowing) full-speed and collided with the attendant unfortunately assigned to welcome passengers to the flight. After all three people untangled themselves and exchanged apologies, they took their seats and prepared for take-off…
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'AMAZING RACE' HEADQUARTERS
…The strange visitor who struck fear into Jerry, Thad, and Herman finished his examination of the transmissions from the destroyed camera spheres. With the spotter's flashlight as the only light source, detecting any irregularity would have been a grueling process for many seasoned investigators. For this stranger, it was just another day at the office. He turned to the trembling trio and asked for the footage of the spheres that followed Bender & Fry…
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6:43 AM—Kuwait City—Day 9
…As teams began their taxi rides, Ron examined the cash reserves. He determined Team Possible could only afford this cab ride and maybe one more before they were completely broke. His mind turned to the curious letter Phil gave him. Unfortunately, it was packed away in the trunk of the cab…
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7:16 AM
…The teams began to arrive at the Liberation Tower and open their clue envelopes…
SHAGGY (reading clue): "Drive yourselves…"
ROBIN: "…to the Ahmadiri…"
ELMER: "…Camel Stables."
(Off-screen voice of Phil): "Teams must travel by marked car twelve miles southwest to the Ahmadiri Camel Stables, breeders of some of the fastest racing camels in the world, including the past three national title winners. Once teams park their vehicles in the marked spaces, they must travel by foot down the marked path to the main stable, where they will receive their next clue."
...The same envelope also contained a green brochure. The first three teams discovered it was only an optional task, and chose to ignore it. However, the contents of the brochure were not lost on either Bender & Fry or Kim & Ron…
FRY: "Wow…'Fast Forward'…"
KIM: "…Can you feel the heat?"
(Off-screen voice of Phil): "This is the only 'Fast Forward' in entire race, and it can only be used by one team. If a team wins the 'Fast Forward', they can skip all other tasks and proceed directly to the next 'Pit Stop'…
"…To win this 'Fast Forward', the team must travel by marked car ten miles due east to the fields of Kuwaiti Oil, the nation's government-owned petroleum company…
"…After reaching the fields, the team (along with an experienced firefighter) will use a metal shield to approach a flaming oil well. Once they get there, they must use firefighter equipment to cap the well, putting out the fire…
"…Once the fire is extinguished, the team will win the 'Fast Forward'."
…Bender & Fry immediately decided to go for the 'Fast Forward'. Before Kim could think about beating them to the oil fields, Ron pulled her aside, drawing a shocked and scolding look from his auburn-haired teammate.
"RON!! What did you do that for?" she yelled. Just as she was about to reprise her 'Homer Simpson' grip demonstration, he quickly pulled the large envelope from his backpack.
"Kim," began the reply, "when we were about to leave the residence hall, Phil gave me this envelope—and he had genuine fear in his eyes when he did it. I think we better open it before anything else happens."
Kim's look of anger turned to befuddlement, but at least her hands drew away from his neck long enough for him to open the envelope. Along with the presidential seal, the outside of the envelope was marked with:
"IMPORTANT MESSAGE FOR RONALD STOPPABLE'S EYES ONLY—IMPROPER MESSAGE DELIVERY PUNISHABLE BY FIRING SQUAD—OR WORSE!! W. F. DeK."
This drew quizzical looks from both Ron and Kim. He quickly opened up the envelope, which contained a smaller bulging sealed envelope, a certificate, and a formal letter on official letterhead:
"Mr. Stoppable,
Throughout the history of South Africa, we have overcome great obstacles such as colonial rule and apartheid. Your bravery and courage shown in saving our countryman, along with Miss Possible, without any regard for your own safety or well-being, demonstrated the true spirit of our great nation. To draw from one of your partner's famous phrases, it appears anything's possible for a Stoppable, too!
On behalf of my office, the Cabinet Ministry, and the people of South Africa, please accept these humble tokens of our appreciation. We only ask, for your safety, that you please keep all contents of this larger envelope within its confines when not in use. This will protect you from severe penalties under numerous international laws and US Customs regulations.
Respectfully yours,
(signature)
William Frederick DeKashier
President of the Great Republic of South Africa
P.S. By 'Presidential Proclamation' (certificate attached), the contents of this entire package are 'duty-free' and are not subject to declaration for payment of any taxes or tariffs by any sovereign country abiding by United Nations resolutions. An additional amount of funds has been sent to the US Internal Revenue Service in your name to cover the domestic income taxes assessed on receiving said contents."
Team Possible shared the looks of five-year-old children at Christmas as Ron carefully pulled out of the smaller envelope…Fifty-thousand US dollars…CA$H!!!
As Kim began whooping for joy, Ron pulled out $500 of the money and put it in his pocket to use for the race. Kim was too busy dancing around to notice Ron as he also pulled a small velvet pouch from the smaller envelope. After he felt its contents, he quickly popped the pouch back in the large envelope.
Kim then turned to Ron and picked him up, twirling him around just as he did to her in the closing moments of the school year, only without the glowing blue aura or the dozens of flabbergasted classmates.
(Please reference 'Interlude' for this moment. It is in the next chapter.)
After few more minutes of jubilation, Kim brought the whole thing back to reality. "What about the 'Fast Forward'? Aren't we going to stop Bender & Fry from getting it?" she asked.
This brought an evil, downright Zorpoxian grin from Ron's face. "Oh, give them a few more minutes, then we'll get the 'Fast Forward'," he replied.
"I thought only one team could win it."
"That's right, but I have a plan, if you are willing to be my beautiful and alluring accomplice. BOO-YA-HA-HA-HA-HAAA!"
This completely froze Kim in place with fright, making it a lot easier for the 'evil' genius to whisper his plan into her ear. Upon hearing it, an evil grin swept across her face as well.
"BON-DIGGETY BOO-YEAH!!!" they both shouted as they embraced. Their euphoria dissolved when Kim uttered those famous words…
"Jinx! You owe me a soda!"
A still-mischievous Ron snickered under his breath 'That's what you think!'
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7:48 AM
…Bender & Fry reached the oil fields and prepared to do the 'Fast Forward'. After some initial instructions from their firefighter companion, Fry used the shield to move them closer to the pillar of flame before them…
…Bugs & Elmer pulled into the front lot of the stables just a moment before Mystery, Inc. and the Titans. After following the foot path, their clue envelope revealed the familiar yellow brochure…
BUGS (reading clue): "…'Detour'…'Input' or 'Output'?"
(Off-screen voice of Phil): "A 'Detour' is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this 'Detour', teams must choose between 'Input' or 'Output'…
"In 'Input,' teams must mix equal parts of dates, grass, wheat, and oats into three 100-pound bags of feed for the camels. After mixing and filling the feed bags, teams must seal the bags and use the provided wooden wagons to deliver the feed to the livery master, who will present them with their next clue.…
"In 'Output,' teams must clean four stables, shoveling the used hay and camel…output…onto a wooden wagon (not the same one as the 'Input' task, thank goodness). After that, they must replace what they took out with fresh hay in each stall. Once they have completed all four stalls, the stable-hand on duty will present them with their next clue."
…Since the hay and 'output' had less weight to haul with each arm movement than the feed bags, Bugs & Elmer went with 'Output'. Besides, working with Pepe Le Pew for so many years got them accustomed to worse smells than this…
…Shaggy and Scooby thought the smell of the feed was better than the alternative, so they proceeded to the 'Input' area…
…Robin & Starfire had enough experience with Beast Boy's occasional 'accidents' to feel they could be quite efficient in the 'Output' task…
…Kim was behind the wheel of Team Possible's car, heading toward the oil fields. From her rear-view mirror, she saw a car approaching. It was a pink Cadmobile, with Ron's picture on the hood. The girls in the sedan were crammed like passengers in a clown car. They were all cheering and whistling, holding Ron's picture out of each window. Even the 17-year-old behind the wheel was driving with one hand and holding a 'We Luv U, Ron!' sign out the window with the other.
'This is getting ridiculous,' thought Kim. She soon began to look all around her car's interior.
"What are you looking for?" Ron asked.
"Something to take out those 'Ronnies'. I swear, they are getting on my nerve—not nerves, nerve…singular...as in last one!"
This gave Ron another opportunity to try telling her the truth. "It's ok, Kim. They're nothing to worry about."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because…We're off the road!!"
Indeed, he did tell the truth. Kim was so pre-occupied with the 'Ronnies', she veered the car off the road—causing rocks, small vegetation, and massive amounts of sand to fly all around them. She regained control of the vehicle, but not before a massive cloud of sand masked their view of the pink Cadmobile. The cloud dissipated to reveal a blue Pontillac with green trim rapidly approaching the 'Ronnies'. With a light bump, it safely knocked the Cadmobile temporarily out of commission.
"Huh!" grunted Kim. "What do you think of that?"
"I think I should take the wheel next time."
This earned an armor-piercing look from the emerald lasers that were Kim's eyes. They really weren't lasers, but Ron wished they were at that moment. They would have delivered a lot less pain...
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8:14 AM
…Despite arriving later than the Looney Tunes team, Robin & Starfire were already on their second stall. Although they were making great progress, they sure wished Raven would have been there. She could have just levitated the 'contents' of the stalls onto the wagon, if that would have been legal. As they continued their task, a growing concern was the supply of hay. It was taking more fresh hay than anticipated to replenish the stalls…
…Bugs & Elmer had just finished their second stall when they encountered the same issue. Their supply of hay was just about gone and they turned to the stable-hand for a solution…
…Faced with the impending crisis for both teams, the stable-hand quickly dialed a number on his cell phone. Within minutes, a large truck marked 'Achmed's Feed & Supply' pulled up to the stable, with '70s funk music booming from the open windows. An extremely obese gentleman in a red work shirt and blue jeans jumped out of the truck, opened up the tailgate, and shouted…
"Hay, Hay, HAAAAAAYY!!!"
After unloading the entire payload of hay, the stout fellow climbed back into the truck and drove away—but not before yelling to the stable's occupants…
"Just remember, for hay-hay-haaaaaay…it's FAAAAAAT Achmed!!"
…Shaggy & Scooby were busy on their third bag…that they ate! They were still working on the second bag for the camels. Since they were the only team on this task, there was no need to call Fat Achmed for more supplies—so far…
…Bender just completed capping the well while the firefighter gave Fry the special green clue envelope. He opened it and began to read its contents.
"Congratulations, you have won the 'Fast Forward'…"
"NOT SO FAST, FUTURAMA!!" a voice boomed from behind Fry. He and Bender turned around to see Ron, with a concrete-hard 'serious face' and a purple brochure in his hand.
Bender yelled, "We got the 'Fast Forward', chumps…so step aside." As he tried to charge past Ron, a palm-strike to the robot's chest sent Bender reeling into Fry. The blow sent both crashing to the ground.
At this point, Ron maintained his expression and walked toward the duo, addressing them in the 'eerie-calm' voice he had grown to truly appreciate.
"You may have convinced others the mine incident was just an accident," said Ron, "but I know better! I saw the hole you made in the mine wall. I saw the dirt pouring from it. I saw the cracks forming in the cavern."
Bender was truly on the defensive. "Hey, meatbag! I heard all that from Fry, that spotter, and those cops for a day and a half already…so bite my shiny metal—"
"As I was saying," interrupted Ron, "you should consider yourself fortunate nobody was killed by your carelessness."
Now Ron was face-to-metallic grill with Bender. "Had I lost my Kim—my love, my strength, my reason to remain among the living—you would be nothing but a compacted cube of metal by now—tri-density galvanized titanium or not!"
He then waved an acknowledging hand toward Kim, out of the car and in 'Full Battle Mode', before proceeding further. "If a similar fate happened to me, my beautiful and alluring accomplice would have used your stomach for a pan, your lubrication for the cooking oil, and your very hands to turn Fry into 'Stir Fry'! Given her limited cooking skills, you would both have been combined into one giant fireball before your ashes would be cast into the desert wind." Kim successfully fought the urge to snicker at that comment.
"However," Ron continued, "my recent increase in meditations has helped me realize the uselessness of blind revenge. It helped strengthen my resolve and my ability to show compassion and mercy for others.
"Thus, instead of being the instrument of your justifiable demise, I leave you with just these two words to bear in mind…
"…Payback, please."
The camera sphere shot a beam out of its lens, causing the 'Fast Forward' brochure to disappear from Fry's hand. It shot a similar beam at Kim, placing the brochure into her hand. It projected the following information onto the firefighter's heat shield, which served as a make-shift screen:
PAYBACK TRANSACTION
TIME OF TRANSACTION: 8:23 AM
INITIATED BY: KIM & RON
SWAP ORIGINATOR: BENDER & FRY
OBJECT OF PAYBACK: 'FAST FORWARD' (aka 'FF')
STATUS BEFORE PAYBACK: BENDER & FRY—WIN FF; KIM & RON—LOSE FF
STATUS AFTER PAYBACK: BENDER & FRY—LOSE FF; KIM & RON—WIN FF
NOTE: BENDER & FRY MUST STILL PERFORM ALL TASKS FOR RACE LEG!
TRANSACTION COMPLETED
…Bender muttered a few choice words while pulling Fry back to the car with him. Kim smiled to Ron and began to read the 'Route Info' once again…
"Congratulations, you have won the 'Fast Forward'. Drive yourselves to the next 'Pit Stop'!"
(Off-screen voice of Phil): "By winning the 'Fast Forward', this team can skip all other tasks and drive directly to Kuwait Towers, the 'Pit Stop' for this leg of the race. These towers, built in 1979, are used for many purposes—by locals as water reservoirs for much of the city, by tourism officials as facilities for various festivals, and by virtually every worldwide media outlet when filing reports from the country.
"The last team to check in here may be eliminated!"
""""""""""
'AMAZING RACE' HEADQUARTERS
…The stranger completed his examination of the remaining footage provided by Jerry, Thad, and Herman. His finger once again became a USB connector as he uploaded a report to his superiors. Within minutes, more legal documents were shown on the projection screen. The stranger printed these documents, including their electronic signature forms, and opened the office's exterior window.
The stranger then turned toward the three executives and flatly said, "Thank you for you cooperation." A jet-pack sprung from the stranger's back, already ignited. Within a split-second, the strange man/being soared through the opened window…
""""""""""
8:44 AM
…Thanks to the extra hay from Fat Achmed, Robin & Starfire finished their task quickly and received their next clue…
ROBIN (reading clue): "Drive to the Khalid Race Track."
(Off-screen voice of Phil): "Teams must drive to the Khalid Race Track in the downtown section of Kuwait City. After parking in one of the marked spots, they must find the main stable, where they will receive their next clue."
""""""""""
8:49 AM
…Bugs & Elmer finished their last stall and turned to the stable-hand. He was satisfied with their work, and gave them their clue envelope…
…Shaggy & Scooby suffered bellyaches, but they managed to haul the three filled feedbags to the livery master, who gave them some Pepto-Seltzer for their stomachs and a yellow envelope for their next clue…
…Bender & Fry were driving as fast as they could to get back to the stables. They broke speed limits to try making up some of the time they lost with the 'Fast Forward' attempt. Fry was still kicking himself for not remembering the 'Payback' earlier.
Despite their current troubles, a silver object now over the Pacific Ocean would soon make those seem like a stubbed toe by comparison...
""""""""""
9:03 AM
PHIL: "Kim & Ron…You're team number ONE!! As winners of this leg of the race, you will each receive a PB Petroleum card good for 5,000 gallons of gasoline!"
KIM: "SPANKIN'!! That will go great with the Primmus we each won back in Philly!"
…Once they walked off the mat, Kim had to 'freshen up'. Now it was Ron's turn to pull Phil off to one side. A camera sphere followed them, to preserve the integrity of the race. It picked up the entire conversation:
RON: "Do you guys still have all those corporate 'tie-ins' for product placement?"
PHIL: "Sure, we do. Why do you ask?"
RON (giving Phil a handful of money): "I have the opportunity to settle an old debt, but I need your help to do it."
(CONVERSATION PLAYBACK TO BE CONTINUED…)
""""""""""
9:15 AM
…Robin & Starfire arrived at the Khalid Race Track and ran to the main stable. Robin pulled the yellow envelope from the clue box.
ROBIN: "…'Road Block'…Who's ready to ride?"
(Off-screen voice of Phil): "A 'Road Block' is a task only one team member may perform…and no team member can perform more than 6 'Road Block' tasks during the course of the race. The 'Relay' in Argentina counted as a 'Road Block' for each team member…
"In this 'Road Block', one team member must put on the necessary riding gear, including riding helmet, knee and elbow pads, and gloves. Then, the team member must choose a camel, get on top of it, and ride one lap around the track. Six camels will run at the same time, regardless of the number of our competitors in each camel race.
"The team member must ride their camel to either a first, second, or third-place finish to receive their next clue. If their camel finishes fourth or worse, they must pick another camel and try again with the next race.
"At this track, races are run in intervals of approximately 15 minutes. A choice of camels must be made no later than five minutes before the start of each race."
Robin checked the time and found he had less than ten minutes to put on the racing gear and choose a camel. He knew he would be cutting things close…
""""""""""
9:22 AM
…Bugs & Elmer arrived at the track. Given Elmer's experience with the horses in Argentina, Bugs was an easy choice for this task. True to his nature, the 'quick-change' rabbit donned the riding gear, picking his camel with only 5:30 before the next race…
""""""""""
9:27 AM
…Shaggy & Scooby got to the track a little too late for the first race. They took this time to study the tendencies of the track and the reaction of the camels to certain tugs on the reins. It also gave Shaggy a little more time to get into the riding gear and select his camel for the second race…
…Bender & Fry finally got back to the stables, choosing the 'Input' task of their 'Detour'. While they took their places with the feed bags, people in rural China reported seeing a silver humanoid-shaped figure soaring over their fields…
""""""""""
9:30 AM—First camel race
…Bugs took the early lead with his camel, but it reared back at the half-way point. This action let the pack catch up to them.
After he regained control, he began to move through the pack again. In the end, a local rider finished first, Robin's camel finished second, and the bunny's camel was nosed out of third by another local rider.
Bugs was mad about coming in fourth, but at least he picked up some valuable information on running the next race…
""""""""""
9:33 AM
…As Shaggy and Bugs prepared for the second race, Robin & Starfire opened their next clue…
STARFIRE (reading the clue): "Make your way to the next 'Pit Stop'!"
(Off-screen voice of Phil): "Teams must travel by taxi to Kuwait Towers, the 'Pit Stop' for this leg of the race. These towers, built in 1979, are used for many purposes—by locals as water reservoirs for much of the city, by tourism officials as facilities for various festivals, and by virtually every worldwide media outlet when filing reports from the country.
"The last team to check in here may be eliminated!"
""""""""""
9:46 AM—Second camel race
…Shaggy's camel stormed to an impressive lead two-thirds of the way through the race. His camel began to fade in the back stretch, with the 'Bugs Bunny Special' coming from the back of the pack. The late surge propelled Bugs into a second-place finish, with Shaggy hanging on for third. Both of them dismounted from their camels and received their 'Pit Stop' clues…
""""""""""
10:01 AM
PHIL: "Robin & Starfire…You're team number two!"
The Titans exchanges a quick hug and departed from the mat. As they walked away from Phil, a familiar sight caught their eye…
STARFIRE (jubilant): "Kim…Ron. It is brings me great joy to see the two of you again!"
ROBIN: "Yeah…I thought you guys were 'marked for elimination' or something. What happened?"
KIM (chuckling): "Zorpox collaborated with the 'Zen master'."
ROBIN: "HUH??"
KIM: "Let me explain…"
""""""""""
10:11 AM
…Bender turned his arms into mixing blades, greatly speeding up the feed-blending process. Once he poured the mixed feed into the bags, Fry sealed each bag and set it to one side. Together, they placed the bags onto the wagon. After a short haul to the livery master, they received their next clue…
…For the last hour, Kuwaiti radio and television stations repeatedly aired an advance warning from the United Nations Press Office. It informed citizens of an impending sonic boom, and asked them not to panic. Although most people listened to the notice, some still took cover as a precaution.
If only there wasn't that pesky 'No-current-media' policy for running the 'Race'…
PHIL: "Shaggy & Scooby…You're team number three. Now let the next team come up...
"Bugs & Elmer…You're team number—"
BOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!
PHIL (in a weak voice, cowering under a nearby table): "—four?" (Holding earpiece to hear transmission from the production truck, then getting angry) "Oh, sure…NOW you guys tell me about it!!"
""""""""""
11:02 AM
…The recreation and dining area was no more than twenty feet from the 'check-in' mat. As Ron began enjoying the catered meal, his heart still ached to tell Kim about the real story behind the 'Ronnies' and the 'MiJs'.
"KP," he began, "I must confess…There's something I want to tell you about…that big, silver monster coming right at us!!"
"Oh, Ron," Kim chuckled before turning around, "don't be silly…That's just Bend—"
THOOOOMP----------THOOOOMP----------THOOOOMP----------THOOOOMP!
…Phil was expecting to see Bender & Fry coming to the 'Pit Stop'. Instead, he saw a tremendous mass of steel and muscle approaching him. This gargantuan displayed his credentials and the documents he printed in California. After this visual display, the man stomped off to one side of the mat before giving an actual look of compassion toward Team Possible.
"Fear not, lawful citizens," said the stranger in a calm monotone. "Stay where you are and you will be safe."
""""""""""
11:13 AM
…Team Futurama approached the mat to 'check in'. Phil and the strange armored man were there to greet the team…
PHIL: "Bender & Fry…You're the last team to arrive. I'm sorry say you are both eliminated from the race—"
STRANGER (interrupting Phil) "—And under arrest! (Flashes credentials and warrant)"
BENDER: "Hah! There's no proof we were speeding to the stables. (Points to antenna on his head) If you had a radar gun on us, I would have detected it, regardless of frequency. You've got nothing, flat-foot!"
STRANGER (ignoring Bender): "The charges are vandalism, obstruction of trade, public endangerment, and three counts of attempted manslaughter."
BENDER: "If it's that mine incident, you're out of your jurisdiction, buddy!"
STRANGER: "Let's review…Two American citizens and a South African national nearly killed by a man registered as legally dead and a robot not yet manufactured…
"Take another look, creep! (Re-opens credentials and warrant) I am Special Agent Murphy Alexander, Interpol! The world is my jurisdiction! I guess you can call me…Globo-Cop!! Come with me now or there will be…problems."
FRY (worried): "What kind of jail time are we facing?"
MURPHY: "You should be back on your set just in time to shoot your next episode."
FRY: "But our show's cast is in the year 3000!"
MURPHY (tilts head for slight pause before facing Fry again): "That sounds just about right! (Shoves Fry and Bender) Now move, creeps!"
""""""""""
(END CREDITS)
""""""""""
Author's ending notes:
1) AGAIN I want to emphasize that I had this 'mine' segment outlined as part of the story's back-bone since the middle of July. As you've probably discovered by now, this is one of the decisive moments that will prove Ron's case for equality. I meant no disrespect or offense to anyone touched by the recent mining tragedies in Utah and West Virginia.
2) The production of this story, like that for any work of fiction, is solely dependent upon the constructive feedback of its readers. If you like it, I will gladly make more. If you think of ways to make it better, I am always open to suggestions. If you really think it's a piece of garbage, stop me before I strike again!! Once again, Review me, e-mail me if you wanna reach me! If you want to 'PM' me, that's ok!
Your friend in writing,
The Samurai Crunchbird