He faltered for a moment to let it sink in and finally put the glass back to his lips and took a small sip of the white wine.
"Tha-" his voice failed and he cleared his throat "Thank you. You look... adequate."
She was smiling "Thank you."
Seto considered whether adequate was the right term, and was convinced quickly that he was correct. Of course, he could have said that his eyes kept trying to look at the slit of her dress to check out her legs. Or the curve at her hip. Or her cleavage. But that wouldn't be remotely appropriate. Yes, adequate seemed to be the right word.
He took the cloth napkin he'd spread over his pants before dinner, placed it on the table, and stood up.
"Would you like to go for a walk in the garden?"
She did likewise, standing up and walking to him.
"I'd love to."
As they left the dining room, Seto let her go first, and this time, no matter how inappropriate it was, he couldn't resist enjoying for a little moment, the sight of her behind. Just to be annoyed at himself in the next moment, at how hormone-driven he was becoming next to her.
"I have to say that I was surprised that you invited me." She said as he led her from to the foyer to get their coats before going out. It was chilly outside.
"Believe me, I was no less surprised than you."
Anzu laughed softly but said nothing more.
Once in the grand foyer, he walked to the wardrobe, grabbed her coat, and held it for her as she slipped inside.
And he couldn't help it, the sight of her exposed neck, so close to his face, was apparently the final coup de grace to his frustration tolerance. Before she could move away from him, he held her by her shoulders and lowered his head into the crook of her neck. She went still, no longer moving.
Seto tried to not to bury his face in her skin and instead he closed his eyes, took a deep breath through his nose, opened his lips and let the air glide over her flesh as he exhaled, blinked again and watched the little hairs on her neck stand up.
Slowly she turned her head to him, yet she was not able to look at him, as he stood too far behind her. But Seto studied her. Her profile, her eyelashes, her nose, her lips. Perhaps he had made a mistake after all. Adequate had perhaps not been the best word to describe her appearance.
Beautiful. Quite simple and plain: beautiful. She was simply beautiful. And he wanted to tell her, he wanted to tell her that she was beautiful, just beautiful. And his heart was beating all the way to his throat. It beat. And beat. And raced. And pounded.
Panic.
Panic.
He swallowed. She was beautiful. His heart was racing. He wanted to be closer to her. He thought about her constantly.
Bloody hell.
The scales fell from his eyes.
Holy shit.
He had fallen in love.
Seto had fallen in love with Anzu.
He pulled his hands toward him and took a step back.
"I can't stand you."
Had he actually said that now?
Confusion was written all over her face as she turned to him and stared motionless for a few seconds.
"Excuse me?"
"What a great night this has been." He said extensively, sarcastically, putting his hands in the pockets of his black fabric pants, heart still racing. "Maybe you'd better go after all."
Why the hell did he say that?
Her eyes widened "You scumbag," she stomped her way toward him, eyes glittering with anger, high heels clacking on the beige marble floor and echoing through the hall.
"YOU!" She dug her index finger into his chest. "You think I can stand you? You're a cocky, arrogant, egotistical, evil prick!"
He already knew all her insults, they bounced off him, so he said nothing but just looked at her unimpressed while it roared inside him. He had fallen in love with her. Shit. How was he ever going to come to terms with that reality?
"I can't stand you either." She said again, finally dropping her hand to her side.
Moments passed by as they looked at each other. Moments in which his mind raced. He had invited her because he had wanted to, because he thought he had to settle something with her. He had thought about her, all the time, yes, but he had never really gotten to the bottom of why he wanted to see her. He had dismissed it as lust, as a whim, as something temporary. He had simply dismissed it as something unimportant.
How had he, Seto Kaiba, been so stupid as to not have realized how far he had already fallen. Ugh, shit. And more importantly, why had SHE come anyway?
"Why?" He asked quietly "Why did you come? Why-why did you spend so much time with me in the library? For weeks on end? Why, Mazaki?"
Her eyes grew uncertain and her pupils looked in all directions as she apparently searched for an answer.
"I-" she faltered and finally looked at him "I can't stand you. But I-" Again she lowered her gaze and her voice also softened "but I feel good. In your presence. I feel good when you're around."
His fingers tightened in his pocket as she continued to talk.
"I really don't know why. It doesn't make any sense to me. You're everything I can't stand. But I just... I just want to be around you. And talk to you. And get to know you and- and-" she shook her head slightly, probably because she couldn't believe what she was saying herself, and looked him in the eye, making him shiver "and I think about you. I think about you all the time, every minute of the day." She finally whispered.
She was so brave, still looking at him with her big eyes even after all she had told him. Even after revealing all her feelings to him, she was standing firm and looking deep into his eyes. Even after the cold way he had treated her, the brusque way he had rejected her. Her nervousness was betrayed only by a very slight red haze over her cheeks.
Seto was at a loss, not used to talking about such things, and that was an understatement, because inside he was trying to avoid a panic attack. She was expecting an answer from him, he knew that. She had been expecting an answer from him for quite some time.
"I can't stand you, Mazaki." He finally said again, noticing that this time her eyes turned sad instead of sour. "I just can't stand you either. You're the only goddamn woman in this world who would ever dare talk to me like that, let alone insult me so poorly."
She eventually averted her eyes from him and looked at the door. Was she considering leaving?
"But Mazaki." and he swallowed again, barely daring to say what he wanted to say. But he had to. He couldn't let her go now. If she left now, then their chance would be gone forever. He would never, ever even look at her in the future if she left now. Too proud. Too stubborn, too obstinate he was to ever get up the courage to tell her these things, feelings he didn't even dare to confess to himself.
"Don't ask me what I feel. I don't know what I... What I want. But I..." And he gathered all his courage, conquering his shadow.
"But I think of you, too." His voice was like a whisper, he heard her suck in the air, turning her head back to him "All the time. All the time I think about you."
Big blue eyes looked at him in disbelieve and even her mouth was slightly open. She looked quite shocked and probably after what he had said there, he would have looked like that himself.
"As soon as you walked out the library door, you were in my thoughts." And Seto wasn't as strong as Anzu, he couldn't manage to look at her during the flood of thoughts and feelings that bubbled up inside him and suddenly spilled out of him like a geyser. "When I'm working, in the meeting, in the elevator, at dinner, in the car. When I'm getting dressed. When I lie in bed at night. You're constantly in my head. I've tried to ignore it. I've tried to think of other things."
But now Seto had to look at her, he had to see her eyes, when he said this to her. "I've tried to think of other women. I've been seeing other women for the sole purpose of getting you out of my mind."
And she looked confused and much, much more deeply hurt than he had ever seen.
"You're right, I really think it would be better if I left now." She turned but didn't get far, without a second thought he positioned himself quickly in front of her, blocking the way out. She scowled at him and tried to walk past him but he wouldn't let her pass.
"Why does that bother you?"
"It doesn't bother me. I don't care."
"Then why do you want to go all of a sudden?"
"YOU wanted me to go! And I want to now!"
"Mazaki, I've met other women but-"
"Good for you! Let me through!"
"No! Why?"
"Why?!"
"Why of all things does it bother you that I've been seeing other women-"
"I said I don't care!" She shouted and tears pooled and shone in her eyes, just waiting to roll down her cheeks. But she held herself back. How on earth did she do it?
"Yes, I can see that you don't care." He then said full of sarcasm.
"You-you- Argh!" She tried to rush past him again and again he stopped her. "Who do you think you are anyway? You stuck-up jerk! You're going to let me through right now-"
"It didn't work."
"This instant-" Anzu faltered as she registered that he was talking and looked at him puzzled.
"It didn't work with other women. I'm still thinking about you. Obviously. Otherwise we wouldn't be here right now."
"I don't care. I. Don't. Care. Let me through."
But Seto wouldn't, he couldn't. Not after having come to a realization that, admittedly, came rather belatedly. He had to trust in his instincts, which never let him down, and his instincts were screaming in his face not to let her go under any circumstances, at least not in this state.
"Mazaki. Please. I just wanted to be honest."
"Thank you for that. But I-"
"Fuck me. Why don't you get what I'm trying to tell you? You're the one with the superior... Social skills here, aren't you?"
Her eyes hardened again. Demanding. Expectantly. In Seto it aroused ambition, because if she had an expectation, he could still do justice to it.
"No, not even I, the one with the better 'social skills' get what you're trying to say."
"Fine, then I'll tell you now in all clarity. But first-" he took a deep breath "first I apologize for my behavior." Apologizing, he'd done it so many times he could count it on one hand "you have to understand, I may be a genius without an equal in many aspects." And no, Seto was not arrogant, he simply knew how good he was "yet I too have... Weaknesses. Especially in dealing with... With women. And feelings."
He allowed himself a pause and mustered her. Surprise was written all over her face. Good. He could work with that.
"Listen, Maza-" he sighed "Listen, Anzu. I invited you because I in fact saw no other way out for myself. I'm trying to explain to you that I really tried everything to get away from you. Everything. But it doesn't work. I don't know how you managed it, because I really cannot stand you most of the time. But you've managed to burn yourself into my brain and I just can't get rid of you."
"If we met, I thought, maybe I would be able to think more clearly again. See that there's nothing special about you. But the thing is, I was really annoyed earlier because you're much more special than I could have ever imagined. Because that means I just definitely can't get rid of you, and I also don't want to. That's why I'm not going to let you go-"
"Stop, Kaiba," she said suddenly, interrupting him as she often did, and he allowed it as he so often did. Yeah, he really couldn't stand her. "Seto" oh, wrong thinking, he could stand her just fine, especially when his first name crossed her lips "I don't know what to say to all this. I didn't expect you to be so... like this."
"Is that supposed to be good or bad?"
"Good, of course!" she said heatedly "But it's just so much to take. I don't know what to-"
And he really didn't want to talk anymore. He wanted to do other things. Enough was enough. Yes, he had kept her waiting. He had kept them both waiting. And now he couldn't wait a second longer. Because Seto was a taker. Seto was a winner. Seto was impatient. Seto was... in love.
"Anzu." and this time he was the one interrupting her "Anzu, I'm going to kiss you now."
"W-w-what-"
He bent down, because she really was significantly shorter than him, and kissed her.
Hey there,
I really hope you enjoy this little story. I don't have a plot or anything and I don't plan to write more chapters but sometimes I just want to. So please don't expect it to continue. Maybe it will, maybe not.
Thank you for reading.
Maybe you could write me a comment on if you liked it?