The ABCs of Zutara: GONE

Written by Katie Jo aka AVidZktjo

AN UNOFFICIAL SEQUEL TO FOREVER

"Katara?"

The sound of her father's gentle calling barely registered with her but still she managed to stop and say in an even tone of voice, "I'm fine, Dad," before continuing along the corridor toward her bedroom.

As her family watched her walk away, the blind earthbender stepped up beside the torn old man and told him, "She's lying." Toph barely managed to get the words out before her throat constricted and her sobbing continued.

Wrapping his arm around her shaking shoulders, Hakoda replied, "She'll be lying to herself for a long time, Toph." His arms tightened around her then as he added, "We all will." Tears began to roll along all their faces and everyone gathered around the grieving pair. Each one of them was caught up in the tender embrace and every hallway of the Fire Nation palace was filled with the sound of their endless weeping.

///A\\\

As the expressionless Fire Lady walked along the passageway to the Firelord's chambers, she tried to focus her mind on something other than her own anguish. She'd been trying to do that ever since the beginning of that month, but it wasn't working. Every time she walked along the palace corridors, she was reminded of him. She tried to escape it by getting outside of the palace walls and among the Fire Nation people, but that just raised other joyous memories that only caused her more pain. As the hollow days passed her by, she thought she'd cried every tear that could possibly form, but upon seeing her father that week, her weeping had increased ten-fold.

That's all she felt she'd done for the past three weeks. Weep. Grieve. And plummet into her own endless sorrow. But now that the funeral was behind them, she was spent, and there were no more tears in her eyes. All that remained was a hard face and a buried smile that would take years to resurface. I bought this for you, my love. As she passed the lovely painting of her people that the Firelord had purchased for her, the words became a torment. She closed her eyes and blindly followed along the hallway to his room. She blocked out the images, the sounds, the smells, the memories and tried to think of nothing. All she saw now was an endless stream of black. There was no more color in her life. No more blue. No more red. Nothing. Just endless grief.

Reaching out for the doorknob she knew was there, her hand rested atop the coolness of the metal, turned the handle, and released it as she entered the Firelord's chambers. She didn't dare open her eyes, but she knew she must. She would have to face the emptiness of their bedroom at some point, and now was the best time for her tears were all but gone. But upon opening her eyes, she realized that the memories were not.

"Zuko!" Katara scolded him as he stopped her in the hallway yet again to taste the skin of her neck. "Must you always start in the hallway where the guards can see us?"

Between kisses, he replied, "Forgive me, Fire Lady, but you're so luscious and sweet. I can't get enough of you."

"Well, it can wait," she said as she teasingly pushed him off of her and then grabbed his hand. Pulling him along behind her, the pair of star-crossed lovers rushed to their chambers and flung open the door. Knowing smiles crossed the faces of the guards who stood by down the hallway, but the blissful couple didn't seem to notice as they wrapped their arms around one another in a passionate embrace.

Katara closed her eyes at the memory but the unrelenting images refused to relinquish its hold on her mind. She could still feel his hands on her breasts, his lips trailing along her body, and the twisted crimson satin sheets caressing her legs as they left them torn and tattered in the wake of their love. It was no use. The memories were still too near and they came flooding in like the raging rush of the ocean's tide.

"Zuko. Come back to bed," Katara called to him, but the Firelord was otherwise occupied as he stood out on the balcony. His Fire Lady was going to have none of that, so she wrapped the sheets around her naked body and joined him. "Zuko? What is it?"

With a sigh, her husband replied, "It's the Earth Kingdom. After all these years, there is still a band of rebels who want revenge on the Fire Nation. It's no use, Katara. I'm just one man. I can't make up for a hundred years of suffering. I just can't."

"Of course, you can't." Katara captured his face with her hand and turned his gaze towards her. "But you can bring peace to their nation, which you've done. Zuko, darling, you've accomplished so much already. There will always be some opposition whether you like it or not. War is an ugly thing, and a hundred years of peace couldn't make up for the damage. So why must you think that you can solve everything? No man can. All you can do is accept it and try to move on as I accepted and forgave you."

Katara placed a sweet peck on his scarred cheek and he smiled down at her. "You always know just what to say. It's a shame I can't take you with me."

Katara wrinkled her brow. "Where are you going?"

Another sigh escaped his mouth. "I wasn't going to tell you until tomorrow morning because I didn't want it to ruin our night together."

"Well, now that you've mentioned it, you have to tell me."

"And what if I don't?" he asked back with a teasing grin on his face.

Katara abruptly turned around and started picking up her clothes. "What are you doing?" she heard her husband say.

"I'm leaving. If you're not going to tell me, then I'll sleep in my own bedroom tonight."

Zuko immediately jumped in front of his wife as she made her way towards the door. He wrestled the robes out of her hands, and once he'd acquired them, he tossed them aside and captured her in his arms. "Don't go, Katara."

Even though his warm embrace had already persuaded her to stay, she still said, "I will if you don't tell me."

While she was nestled in his arms, he reluctantly replied, "I'm going to the Earth Kingdom for a month and I leave tomorrow afternoon."

Katara pulled back and looked up into his eyes. "Then I'm going with you."

"No, Katara. You need to stay here."

"Why? I'm just as much a part of the negotiations as you are. You know you'll need me."

Zuko smiled again. "Yes, I don't doubt that I'll need you, just as I needed you a second ago and still need you." He tried to kiss her neck, but she abruptly pulled away.

"I'm not joking, Zuko. I want to go with you. I won't let you go alone."

Zuko tilted his head back, looked up at the ceiling, and sighed once more. His eyes found hers again as he explained, "Katara, you can't go with me. Believe me, I want you to. You have no idea how much I want you to, but we have our children to think about."

"Zuko, they'll be fine."

"Katara," he said her name with force, "I don't want to drag my children into the Earth Kingdom at a time like this. It's dangerous and you know it." Before she could suggest leaving them in the care of his uncle, he put a hand to her mouth to stop her. "No, we're not going to have Uncle babysit again. That's dangerous, too," Zuko said with a small chuckle.

"But, Zuko–" she tried to say through the fingers that covered her lips.

"Katara, just this once, would you not argue with me and, as you said, accept it and try to move on?" His Fire Lady's eyes drooped in defeat and he dropped his hand from her mouth. "Katara, my love, don't be sad. I'll be back before you know it. Besides, whenever I'm gone for long periods of time, you always seem to be more passionate the night I return," Zuko teased her in an attempt to bring back that beautiful smile to her lips.

"No, I'm not going to accept it just like that," she said with a straight face.

Zuko stepped closer to her, "Why not?" and gently placed kiss after kiss on her face.

Katara tried not to smile, but it couldn't be helped. When he finally reached her mouth, she swung her arms around his neck and the sheets fell to the floor in a forgotten heap.

The night of his departure, that horribly wonderful night, was the last moment she would ever share with him. She could feel the tears welling up inside of her, but she quickly pressed them down as she opened her eyes. The room was the same as in her memory with only one difference. But she couldn't think on that now. She didn't dare. But still her eyes caught the sight of the bed and the new sapphire satin sheets that hadn't been used yet. Katara swallowed hard and averted her eyes. Her gaze turned toward the balcony and the images of their numerous nights of fiery passion flashed through her mind before she could stop them. So many memories. So much happiness. So much joy. And now it was all sorrow and anguish and weeping…and death.

Katara cringed and moved on from the balcony to the candles that sat atop his dresser. She noticed something new, something that finally broke her. There before the blazing candles lay a lighting tool, something she would need now that he was gone. Katara suddenly lost her balance and came crashing down upon her knees. As the tears clouded her vision, that haunting day of his untimely return became her tormentor.

"Katara! Katara! Zuko's back!" Aang excitedly yelled across the courtyard.

"Alright! Sparky's back!" Toph chimed in with the Avatar and the two of them raced off to their rooms to get ready, leaving Katara and Uncle Iroh to take care of the children.

To her pleasant surprise, Katara had been granted the gift of Aang's and Toph's visit during her husband's absence. Being reunited with her friends was doing wonders for keeping her mind off of the Firelord's departure, but being the only married one of the group with three children in tow was taking its toll on her nerves. She missed her husband and couldn't wait to see him, but something suddenly felt wrong about his early arrival. "Iroh, wasn't Zuko supposed to be gone for another week?"

"Come to think of it, he was. But maybe he finished his business early and wanted to come home. I have no doubts in my mind that my nephew misses you as much as you miss him." Katara smiled up at the old man and graciously accepted his help in taking the three youngsters back to their nannies.

Once Zuko's and Katara's three adorable children were safe with their caretakers, Katara rushed to her room to get dressed in her Fire Lady attire. As quickly as she could manage, she threw on the robes and then dashed out the doorway in the direction of the harbor. She caught up to Toph and Aang in no time, and it wasn't long before Iroh had joined them as well. With huge smiles on their faces, the doors to the palace opened, and they jumped in the awaiting carriage that would take them to the harbor.

"I hate carriage rides," Toph complained for the whole trip, but everyone was in such a good mood that laughter abounded among them at her disgust.

Zuko had come home. Katara couldn't be happier. Every time her husband was away from her, it felt like an eternity passed before she was in his arms again. But now the long wait was over.

"Let me out first," Toph commanded them all and they graciously obliged her. "Awww…that's much better," she hummed as her feet hit the pavement. Again they all laughed.

A crowd had already gathered to welcome their Firelord home, but Katara didn't even seem to notice. Her eyes were on the soldiers coming down the gangplank. She found that rather odd. Zuko was always the first one to disembark. Where was he? Katara craned her neck to try and see over the ship's railing, but she couldn't spot him anywhere. Then she saw it. Her heart immediately froze over, her body tensed, and her eyes locked onto the covered body that was being carried down the gangway. No. It couldn't be. Not her Zuko. No.

The four soldiers came to stand before her. They set down the body in front of her feet and she stared down at the white sheet. She could faintly make out the outline of his face but she couldn't believe it. It was impossible. "Fire Lady Katara," one of the men spoke, but her eyes stay fixed on the covered face. "My Lady, I'm sad to report to you that the rebels…there was an attack…"

Attack? That's the last word she heard before her frozen heart started racing and her breath came in short gasps. She could feel Iroh's arms on her shoulders trying to calm her, but she couldn't stop the rising mix of anger and sorrow. "NO!" she abruptly yelled as she forcefully pushed Iroh off of her. The stunned old man stumbled away from her and a huge wave of water flowed up from the ocean and came to rest over the covered body. Katara dropped to her knees and ripped the sheet off of the cold body of her husband.

"No! I can heal him! I can heal him!" The wave of water came crashing down upon Zuko's form, and Katara frantically worked to heal his outward wounds while at the same time trying to pump blood back into his heart. The water before her eyes was frustrating for it clouded her vision, but still she continued on in her efforts to heal him. It would be a while before she realized the water was her own tears. "Zuko! Wake up! Wake up, Zuko!" Iroh tried to pull her away but she wouldn't listen. "No! I can save him!" she cried as she pushed him away again. "Zuko! Zuko! Come back to me!" But somewhere in the back of Katara's cracked mind, she knew he never would.

Her healing touch that had worked time and time again on him was unable to heal even the small gash along his arm. There was nothing to work with. No water in him. No blood. Nothing. It was all dead and gone. He was gone. Katara let go of the water then and reached out for her husband. Cradling him in her arms, she cried out not caring who heard her, "Zuko! Wake up! Wake up! You can't leave me! You promised me forever! Zuko! Zuko!" The sobs racked her body with such force that her body shook uncontrollably.

"Aang," Toph whispered the Avatar's name amidst the storm of Katara's unintelligible rambling. With tear-filled eyes, the somber airbender turned to her. "Where's Zuko? I can't see him."

Aang tried to keep his voice from cracking, but the suppressed sobs were constricting his throat. "He's dead, Toph." Aang's shoulders began to shake as tears rolled down his cheeks. "He's dead."

Somehow, in the midst of her weeping, Katara heard Aang's words but everything seemed to fade around her as her world came crashing down. She felt nothing, heard nothing, saw nothing. Not the sound of the crashing waves. Not the weeping of the people in the crowd. Not Iroh's arms around her or his own sobs against her. Nothing. Everything was black. No blue. No red. No sunset. No sunrise. No warmth. Only cold, bitter desolation.

"Zuko! How could you leave me!? How could you leave me!?" The sobs that had washed over her on that horrifying day were tearing her heart out again. "You promised me forever!" Katara cried out within her empty room, her emotions suddenly wrapped up in angry fury. "YOU PROMISED!" Katara's strength returned then and she rose to her feet. In a blind rage, she knocked over Zuko's dresser and then went about the room destroying anything she could. Stopping before their bed, she heard the words of his proposal in her memory and cringed.

I will love you all of my days, and even after I'm gone, I will continue to love you. My heart will belong to you alone just as it has always belonged to you. We shall be together forever, whether here in this life or the next for nothing could ever tear me from you. I pledge to you my love, my life, my forever.

Katara forced the memory aside and shouted, "YOU LIED!" as she ripped the blue sheets from the bed. She tried to tear them apart but they wouldn't budge. Tossing them aside, she yelled again, "I hate you, Zuko! I HATE YOU!" And then she crashed to the floor and covered her face with her hands, her voice but a whisper in the dead of night. "I hate you…" and then the truth spilled out of her "…for leaving me."

She cried for what seemed like hours, but somewhere amidst her sorrow, she heard the faint ring of his voice saying her name. "Katara."

No. It was just a memory. He was dead. Gone. Forgotten.

"Katara."

The voice became clearer and she opened her eyes. Looking around the destroyed room, she saw nothing and no one, but still she spoke his name. "Zuko."

And then her eyes popped open at his distinct response. "Katara, my love."

"Zuko!" she frantically searched the room for the man that belonged to that voice but he was no where to be found. The tears spilled from her eyes again as she realized she was only dreaming. "Zuko."

But then she felt it. His arms wrapping around her, cradling her in a soft embrace. She couldn't see him, but she could feel him and hear his resounding promise. "I love you, Katara. I'll always love you. Forever." She knew then that she wasn't dreaming. He was there with her, and he would always be there with her.

"Mother?" Katara looked up and saw her son standing in the doorway. "Are you crying again?"

Through tear-stained eyes, she simply answered, "Yes," and then opened up her arms for her son to enter into. Without hesitation, the young boy ran into her embrace and they held on tight to one another. Together they wept over the loss of the one they loved, and together they would learn to move on. For when Katara looked down into the eyes of her son, she saw Zuko looking back at her and knew that he would never truly be gone.

If that story didn't make you cry then that last line should have because it sure made me cry! Actually, in all honesty, I was quite literally balling the whole time I was writing this. No, I mean it. Even when I got the idea, I cried because the thought of losing the love of your life is so mind-bogglingly heartbreaking! I tried to put as much emotion into this piece as I could. I've never gone through something like this, so I can't write from experience. Basically, I just used my love for Zutara against myself. I tried to feel that heartbreak with Katara, and I gotta say it wasn't pretty. I'm still in tears. Ugh. It's just so sad, so very very sad.

But, anyway, wipe those tears off your face and please don't flame me. This is the only "dead Zuko" piece I will be having, at least I think so. Actually, I wrote this in dedication to Kuro-TheNinthSon's piece called "TAKEN." And I gotta say that it turned out great. Be sure to check out that comic of hers. It's pretty much the ending of my story, but to see it portrayed through beautiful artwork, whoo, better grab some more tissues. I know I did.

Okay, I promise the next one won't make you cry. Well, maybe. It's a more serious piece like this one, but not as sad. Zuko is ALIVE in it at least! =D

I hope you enjoyed the horrible sadness of Zuko's death. But even if you didn't, be sure to REVIEW!!! Thanks!

AVidZktjo

*Since I'm posting this one early, don't expect the next one for a day or two. Plus, the next one is gonna be painstakingly long, in a good way that is, so it's gonna take a bit more work. Stay tuned!*