Welp. From here onward I am absolutely going off the rails. This is the start of chapters I've been planning since the beginning. Enjoy :)
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Despite Eda never having much free time, she always took advantage of it when she had it. Today she took the time to work on a painting she'd started a few months ago and had worked on and off on.
She stood in the living room, paintbrush in hand with her paints stashed to the side and a cloth covering the hardwood. It was just her in there that Tuesday afternoon. Raine was outside playing with Lydian.
It was a simple portrait. She'd intended it to look like herself but the only similarity she shared with the woman in the painting was the body. Everything else was different. Her expression, her gesture. Eda hadn't dabbled too much in art but to her, the artist at hand, she knew it wasn't her in this painting.
Painting and art had become a side hobby, and she often found herself doing it when she felt particularly upset with herself. Maybe it was a way for her to better cope with what she made herself out to be? It painted a different portrait of her, one more akin to what Raine saw in her.
She was working on the orange hair of the person currently. Giving it highlights with a yellowy-orange color. It was near completion, the highlights were always the last part.
Eda hummed to herself as she dragged the brush across the canvas. She wasn't sure what she'd do with the portrait. Probably put it in her potions area, she thought.
She heard the back door close and Raine's footsteps entering the house.
"EDA! CAN YOU COME HELP ME?!" Eda immediately sat her brush down when she heard their panicked voice. She stood and rushed into the kitchen and found Raine standing, holding Lydian and a plastic bag, their shirt covered in puke. Their daughter looked rough.
"Oh shit, what happened?" Eda asked, reaching out and grabbing Lydian and the plastic bag from Raine.
"Lydian told me she wasn't feeling good so I told her we'd come inside and I picked her up and she threw up!" Raine said, "I don't know what happened! She was fine just a few minutes ago!"
"Go get changed, I'll see what's wrong," Eda said. Raine nodded and left the room. Eda looked down at Lydian, who looked paler than usual, "Are you feeling alright?" Lydian shook her head.
"My tummy hurts…" She mumbled.
"Oh dear," Eda said, "Do you want mama to check what's wrong?"
"Okay," Lydian said. Eda drew a spell circle above Lydian and quickly checked over her. While healing magic wasn't her strongest area, it was still incredibly useful to know some of. It prevented them from having to take Lydian to actual healers with how often she got sick.
"Stomach bug," Eda concluded, "You poor thing." Lydian cuddled up to Eda and she sighed.
Eda brought Lydian into the living room and laid her down on the sofa, levitating a blanket over and placing it on her. Eda then got a bucket and placed the plastic bag around it and handed it to Lydian, "If you feel like you're going to throw up again, do it into the bucket." Her daughter nodded back.
Eda took the spare moment to quickly put her painting equipment away. With a twirl of her finger it was all back in the basement. She sat down on the sofa beside Lydian and placed the back of her hand to the girl's forehead.
"You're really warm," Eda said. She kept herself collected, it was the only way she kept it together at all nowadays.
Raine came back downstairs and sighed.
"So?" Raine asked.
"It's a stomach bug," Eda said.
"But it came over her so quickly… that's not usually what happens," Raine said. They sat beside Eda and rubbed their temples, "I'm sorry, I'm just really worried. I feel like we should take her to see a healer. I know that you wouldn't like that though."
"I wouldn't," Eda said. Raine let out a long sigh.
"Can we talk in the kitchen?" Raine stood back up. Eda could tell what was coming. She'd avoided it since Lydian was an infant.
"Alright," She stood up beside them and followed them into the kitchen. Raine twirled their finger creating a soundproof bubble.
"Eda, our daughter is four years old and continuously gets sick," Raine said, "It has been since she was an infant that we've taken her to see a healer. I understand we can take care of her pretty well on our own but with how often it is? That worries me."
"But you don't know what a healer might do to her, we have bounties over our heads, she could be threatened!" Eda exclaimed.
"I know you well enough to know that's not the only reason," Raine said, "I understand you… don't really like healers… but if we took her to Althea don't you think you could trust them to look at her?"
"There's a difference, I'm an adult and I feel more comfortable telling people to stop," Eda said, "She's four."
"And you're her mother. She's young, she would want you to hold her hand," Raine said, "And it's Althea, did Althea not always ask you if you were comfortable before doing anything to you?"
Eda bit her bottom lip and looked away from Raine's stern gaze.
"You're scared of her having to go through what you did, and that's valid, Eda," Raine reached out for her hands, "But you can't keep ignoring the fact that something might seriously be wrong. Our daughter needs to see a professional so we can better understand what keeps happening."
"But-"
"If they try to pull anything, I promise you in a heartbeat I will destroy them," Raine squeezed her hands. Eda smiled and looked back at Raine.
"I love you so much," She said, "Fine. But if anything happens I refuse to take her back."
"Okay. Thank you. I promise you I won't let anything happen to her," They leaned forward and pressed their forehead to hers. Eda could still feel her body was tense.
Raine released the bubble and they reentered the living room, Eda following quickly behind.
"Sweetie, we're going to take you to see Althea," Lydian didn't move when Raine spoke. She just looked sad. Eda hoped it was just because she wasn't feeling good.
"Do you think you'll be okay flying on Owlbert?" At the mention of Eda's palisman, he flew off the staff she'd sat by the front door. Lydian's eyes lit up at the appearance of the owl, she looked up at her parents and nodded.
"We'll carry the bucket just in case," Raine said, "And if you need us to stop you tell us, okay?" Lydian gave them a thumbs up.
Lydian had managed to go the entire staff ride without throwing up again, but they brought the bucket inside just in case. Eda was incredibly uneasy. The last time she'd been in here was when she found out she was pregnant with Lydian almost five years ago.
Eda held onto Lydian and sat down in a chair while Raine talked to a person at the counter. Eda could overhear the person asking for Lydian's information and after a few minutes Raine sat down beside Eda.
"Althea's seeing another person right now. They said it'd probably be twenty minutes," Raine said.
"Great…" Eda sighed out. She typically would've done something like bounce her leg or play with her hands, but with Lydian clutched to her that wasn't going to be happening. So she sat in an agonizing silence, only broken every once in a while by Raine and Lydian talking to each other.
"So what kind of magic are you excited to learn?" Raine asked. Lydian sat and contemplated for a moment.
"Bard," Her voice was raspy, "I like music."
"Music is really great," Raine ruffled Lydian's hair, "How are you feeling?"
"Blegh," Lydian motioned towards the bucket.
"Bless your heart," Raine said. They looked up at Eda, "You doing alright?"
"I suppose," She said, not moving a muscle.
Another witch entered the office. She was followed by a small witchlet. Eda could guess that he was roughly Lydian's age if not younger.
Her eyes followed the two as they stood at the front counter. When they turned around to come sit down she quickly looked back at Lydian.
"Oh poor thing, is she alright?" The woman asked after sitting down with her son. Raine shook their head.
"Stomach bug, but she'll recover," Raine explained.
"Huh, I thought it wasn't going around right now," She said. Raine shrugged.
"She's rather good at catching things like this unfortunately," They said.
"I see…" The woman said. It was silent for a few moments before Raine spoke again.
"So what brings you here?" Raine asked the witch.
"Yearly health visit, you know," She said, "He's healthy as can be."
"That's wonderful," Raine said. The boy looked cautiously at Raine and they waved at him. He waved back but it was the mother who's demeanor suddenly changed.
"Wait, are you a wild witch?" She asked sourly. Raine looked shocked but nodded, "Oh."
"What's wrong with being wild?" Eda snapped. The woman looked surprised she finally had spoken.
"There's plenty wrong, not only is it just improper but it's disrespectful to the Titan himself!" Her voice had grown to be slightly louder. Eda didn't want to argue, it was the last thing she wanted to have Lydian watch, but she couldn't stand for bullshit.
"Jeez, if you really think that the Titan's will is to constrict the beauty he gave us I don't think we'll be getting along," Eda said.
"Eda, it's not worth it…" Raine placed a hand on her shoulder.
"So you'll just let someone shame you? In front of your own daughter?" Eda exclaimed.
"She knows better, one person won't throw her whole view astray and you know that," Raine said.
"Still! I don't want her to feel ashamed of it! She may know it's right-"
"Eda! Just drop it!" Raine said.
"No! Raine, you know me, don't you?!"
"Of course I do!"
"Then why is this such a big-"
"Lydian Whispers-Clawthorne?" Eda and Raine turned to see Althea standing at the beginning of the hall. Eda looked back angrily at Raine before standing up with Lydian and walking over to Althea.
She knew Raine followed behind as the three walked down the hall to a room. Althea opened the door, gesturing for Eda and Raine to enter and closed it behind.
"What was that about?" Althea asked them.
"Don't ask." Eda rolled her eyes and sat Lydian down on the examination table.
"Okay," Althea looked shocked but it quickly rubbed away. They looked at the clipboard they were holding, "So this is what she's grown up to be." They approached Lydian and extended their hand, "It's nice to meet you formally, Lydian." She looked up at them with round eyes and took their hand and shook it.
"What do you say to Mx. Althea, dear?" Raine directed.
"Nice to meet you too…" Lydian mumbled.
"So you're not feeling too great I hear?" The redhead nodded.
"It's a stomach bug, that's not… we're worried it might be something more," Raine said. Eda took Lydian's hand, and rubbed circles on it. The last thing she wanted was for Lydian to think something was wrong with her.
"Oh? Why's that?" Althea placed the clipboard down.
"She gets sick… a lot," Eda said, "And it's usually pretty rough."
"And it's just now that I'm seeing you for the first time in my office?" Althea raised an eyebrow.
"I know healing magic." Eda said.
"Oh, I see," The brunette sat down in a chair across the room, "So…"
"Witches develop enough magic to fight illnesses like the common mold or a stomach bug with ease by the time they're four," Raine said, "Lydian… still gets it pretty rough. It's just worrying us. Can you check and be sure nothing's preventing that?"
"I see," She glanced over at Lydian, "That… is a little odd." They rolled the chair over to the examination table and looked at Lydian, "Do you mind if I take a look? It shouldn't be much more than what your Mama does." Lydian nodded her head. Althea drew their circle and held it.
"That's weird…" Althea said.
"What's weird?" Eda felt her heartbeat begin to speed up.
"I'm not sure, it's just… barely anything is fighting it," Althea released the circle, "Even infants have more magic in use for something like this."
"What does that mean?" Raine asked.
"Uh… I'm not really sure," Althea summoned their scroll and quickly typed something, "I'm going to ask for a second opinion. I've never seen anything like this before."
Eda gripped the bottom of her dress. Lydian chose that this would be the moment she expelled more of her insides into the bucket.
"Oh sweetie…" Eda rubbed her back, "You'll be alright." Lydian leaned into Eda's side.
Althea drew another spell circle and looked just as confused.
"I texted another healer that's here to come take a look, I hope that's alright," Althea said. Raine glanced over at Eda who nodded. Despite the tightness in her chest, she knew it was better to trust the professionals. Especially after a reaction like that.
Less than a minute passed before another healer entered. A woman, clearly older than both Eda and Raine. She glanced at the two and let out a huff.
"Didn't realize you were seeing the Owl Lady and her partner," She said.
"Actually, it's their daughter…" Althea said, standing up, "Eda, Raine, this is Merid." They gestured to the woman before turning back to her, "I checked how she's doing internally with this stomach bug and… it's… not looking good. Nothing is fighting it."
"That's not possible," Merid said, "Let me look, you might have done it wrong."
"Wait! Before you do, ask before you do anything," Althea spoke hushed. Eda had never seen her so skittish around anyone.
"Oh? Alright," The woman stood in front of Lydian and Eda. She extended a hand out to Eda, "A pleasure to meet you, Eda, Raine." She nodded to Raine.
"Thank you," Eda said, taking the woman's hand. It was cold, but not unwelcoming.
"Would it be alright if I take a look at you, dear?" Merid asked Lydian. The girl nodded. The healer drew another spell circle and held it for a few minutes.
"Oh," She said, "Althea, you are right." Merid let the spell circle go, "There's nothing fighting the stomach bug. No magic. Nothing."
"But why?" Eda asked.
"I'm about to check," Merid said, twirling multiple fingers now. She must've been a powerful healer to be doing something as complex as that. It went on for a while longer than the previous two checks had. Lydian looked completely unbothered… well, as unbothered as she could considering she was sick.
It suddenly stopped and Merid looked shocked.
"Okay… I figured it out," She said, "Althea, can I talk to you for a second?"
"Yes ma'am!" Althea said. They exited the room with her.
Raine and Eda glanced at each other. Neither of them uttered a word. Eda, for one, could feel the tightness in her chest worsening. What could it possibly be? That surely wasn't normal. Lydian wasn't cursed, they knew that. Even then, Eda never struggled with illness. Eda was perfectly fine.
The healers reentered the room.
"So… this is probably going to be a lot," Althea said, "It might be best if one of us takes Lydian out of the room and waits in the front with her."
"Althea, you've done so much for us, I'd feel more comfortable if you took her," Raine said. Eda knew they were saying that because Eda would throw a fit otherwise. They nodded their head and walked up to Lydian.
"Do you want to go look at the books up in the front?" Althea asked her. Lydian shrugged her shoulders.
"Okay," She said. Althea nodded and picked Lydian up. As much as Eda didn't want to be seperated from her in a place like this, she let it happen. She could trust Althea. She knew that.
The bucket and Lydian were removed from the room and once Althea shut the door, Merid took the chair and sat down on it.
"I took a look at your daughter's immune system to see why her magic wasn't doing anything and… well, as you know already there wasn't anything there," She explained, "I then took a look to see what her bile sac looked like and… it's not developed past infancy. If that, even. It looked to be much weaker than a newborn witchlet's bile sac."
"Your daughter doesn't have any magic." Merid said.
Eda was completely frozen. She could feel the rest of her body but she couldn't move it. Her lips tried to move to speak, ask how that was possible, ask why that had gone completely undetected for years.
"So… she was born without a working bile sac?" Raine asked. Merid nodded.
"I suspect that something interfered during the pregnancy and prevented it from properly developing," Merid looked directly at Eda, "Aren't you cursed?"
Eda blinked and looked up.
Oh.
Something clicked in Eda's brain.
It all suddenly made sense. The disappearance of her curse the entire time she'd been pregnant, the reason why it returned so quickly, the reason why her magic fizzled out as acutely as it did.
It was all the owl beast interfering.
Eda couldn't breathe anymore. She stood up and ignored the questions from Merid and Raine asking if she was okay. She had to run. She had to run. That stupid thing was greeting her in her mind and she couldn't let that show itself here. Not now. Not now.
She raced out of the room and rushed to the bathroom, closing the door shut behind her and locking it. Eda dug through her hair and found an elixir. She always kept them up there just in case. Popping the cork off she chugged it down and felt that part of her mind settle.
Eda didn't want to stay here, but she couldn't stop herself from breaking. She was barely able to conceal herself into a sound bubble before she let out a gut wrenching sob. Her legs wobbled and she fell to the ground.
After all this time. She didn't suspect a thing about that stupid stupid thing. She thought everything was fine.
And it hadn't been.
It took everything in her to not pull at her hair. It wasn't worth it.
Her thoughts kept rewinding and replaying. Echoing the same 'It's your fault.' 'You should have realized something was wrong.' 'You failed her.' suffocating her chest and her mind.
She wasn't sure how long it'd been by the time she was able to calm herself down. Eda had sat on the floor of the bathroom for at least ten minutes.
Eventually she heard a knock on the door, followed by Raine's voice.
"Eda, are you in there?" They asked. She let down her bubble and stood up, quickly wiping the tears off her face and opening the door.
"Sorry," She said, "I'm fine, I just needed a minute."
"Woah," Raine said, eyes widening at her appearance, "Are you… okay?"
"I just told you I'm fine," Eda said, "Did… did she tell you anything else?"
"Merid said we could get potions to put magic directly into her to fight it off, and that we probably should bring her back whenever she's sick," They said, "I… I know this is definitely a lot for you but it's going to be okay. We'll get through this together, Calamity."
The mention of her nickname sparked Eda's heart. Oh, how she wanted to just wrap her arms around them and tell them the truth. That this had just destroyed her. That she felt like the one thing she'd thought she'd have untouched by her curse had been completely smeared by it the entire time.
And once again, Eda's heart shriveled as she realized she was still trapped in a box that allowed her no comfort.
It'd been a few hours since they'd gotten home. Apparently while Eda had been in the bathroom, Althea had brought Lydian back to the room and explained what was going on. Lydian seemingly had taken it better than any of them expected.
When they got home Raine had asked how she felt. Lydian said she was sad she couldn't perform any cool magic, but in her words, "I can still play instruments, just like Nini."
Raine and Eda had both smiled bittersweetly when Lydian said that.
Eda was sitting on top of the roof now, holding a mug of apple blood. She hadn't drank it too much after having Lydian, but she just wanted a taste of it for a bit.
The stars shone brightly in the dark purple hued sky. Eda was glad to have such a peaceful environment to sit in. Raine had asked her several times if she'd been okay since earlier, and Eda's response had been the same.
She was fine. Perfectly fine.
But she definitely wasn't. Lydian already made her worried, but this?
She was horrified thinking about how it would affect her in the future. Eda didn't want Lydian to have to suffer any sort of taunting because of it, any discrimination just because she can't do something.
She had to remind herself several times that she couldn't be like her mother though. Luckily, Eda's ways of protecting others wasn't as painfully direct as Gwendolyn's. Of all the things she could be sure of, she was one hundred percent sure she couldn't be like her mom.
"Would you mind some company?" Eda looked down at the balcony to the side and saw Raine standing there, holding the bottle of apple blood with another mug.
"I guess not," Eda said. Raine climbed up and sat beside her. They opened the bottle and poured themself a glass before setting it aside.
"Are you okay?" They asked her. Eda sighed.
"I told you, I'm fine," The redhead said.
"Then what's with the Apple blood?" Raine raised an eyebrow.
"Either way today was a lot," Eda took a sip, "But I promise you I'm doing fine." She turned to the side and accidentally made eye contact with Raine. They stared back at her and frowned. She quickly looked back at her mug of apple blood.
"It's okay to not be okay," Raine said, "And if you're not okay, I'm going to listen. I promise." Eda didn't respond. She continued to stare down at her reflection in the red alcohol.
They offered a hand towards her and she flinched. It remained up for a few moments before they retracted it.
"I'm glad Lydian didn't take it too badly," Raine said, "Though she's not particularly happy about how the potion tastes." They let out a chuckle, "I guess she'll get used to it. I just hate that she has to deal with this in the first place."
Eda continued to sit in silence. She needed them to stop talking. She couldn't listen to this. She didn't want to be reminded of what had happened. What Eda didn't even consider. What Eda maybe could have prevented. After all, that's why she eventually accepted it all, because Althea told her Lydian was fine. Lydian wasn't fine. Neither was Eda. Eda was far from fine.
"At least there's a way to deal with it," Raine said, "But I'm worried how expensive potions like that are going to be. I'll start taking more gigs I suppose. Though at the same time I don't want to miss you two… we'll figure it out."
Eda looked over at Raine and sighed. She stood up and turned her back to them.
"Eda?" They said. She walked forward and pushed herself off the roof and made her way back down to the ground level.
"Eda, wait!" They shouted, but Eda was already walking into the woods. As much as she appreciated them trying to make things out to be better than they are, she didn't quite need to hear the same thing repeated to her. That her stupid curse had caused her daughter's pain.
And continuing to walk forward, she wasn't quite sure if anything she could do would prevent any more pain for Raine.
May 11th, 2004
Diary,
Today has been really rough. Usually I try to beat around the bush with what I write in here but today I can't keep it from you. We finally found out why Lydian gets sick so often.
Lydian was born with a defective bile sac. A bile sac that never properly developed during the pregnancy. And it's likely because the owl beast interfered with it. How? I'm not entirely sure, but the dots line up too close to ignore it.
I feel horrible. I don't know how to react to this. She seems fine, and she'll be fine, but this isn't like a simple illness that can be cured, it's permanent. It's going to always affect her. I understand that I can't do anything about it, but I guess I get to understand a bit of a mother's perspective on this now. I wish I could have done something to prevent this. It feels like it's my fault. It kind of is my fault.
Raine keeps telling me 'We'll get through this' but I almost turned in the healers office. I'm scared. I'm so scared of hurting anyone. Yet, despite my apprehension and my supposed prevention, people still do.
It's like, no matter what I do, nothing I do is going to not hurt someone. It makes me want to just run away. And I constantly think about it now. If I could just run away and be alone I wouldn't have to worry about hurting anyone.
But I can't. And I refuse to. This is my punishment after all. For what? I'm not quite sure.
That's all,
Eda
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Idk if any of my readers knew this was coming and I wish I could've forewarned better but eh you signed up for this