Thirteen's eyes were fixed on the now empty bed in the patient's room. The nurses had begun removing all the equipment they had used to try to revive Lena; futile attempts to prolong the inevitable. Lena Elderhardt had died a lonely woman. She had lost her only love due to ignorance, and self pity. She was a relatively young woman; one who was still connected with the emotions and confusion of her younger years. She died at the age of fifty three, some twenty years older than Thirteen. As she watched Lena deteriorate, and listened to her wise words, she soon realized that in a matter of time, Thirteen will be that woman at the rate she was going.
The window beyond the bed showed a scene of depression; the rain was coming down in sheets. The sun was going down; the sky was tinted with a deep gray cascade of clouds. This tore Thirteen into a deeper state of sadness. She slowly turned and made her way to the locker room.
The other people in the hallway seemed to be mere blurs that glided past her. She was in a daze; Foreman and Kutner said their good byes, but they did not seem to register in Thirteen's mind.
As she entered the empty, darkened locker room, she collapsed on the bench in sobs. Torturing herself, she began to open the old scars that hadn't even begun to heal. Her heart bled, for so many things: for her illness, for Lena's death, for what Lena had said to her, and how it made her think of what an ass she had been; for Lisa. For how much she missed her.
She wiped the tears that had been dripping from her face, grabbed her keys, and headed for her car.
The various scenes passed outside of the driver's side window. She paid them no attention. She stared at the bright blue numbers staring at her from the dashboard: 10:34 P.M. 'She's still up' she thought. She reached the suburban neighborhood and drove past house after house with the lights off, praying that she'd still be awake. Amends, that's what she needed. She was going to finally make amends.
She reached the familiar house which Thirteen hadn't stepped foot near for well over two months. She turned off the ignition and stared out the rain speckled window. She contemplated for a moment, and then quietly, slowly, she opened the door. Her feet felt like lead, as though she was making her way to Lisa's front door for their first date. She reached the dark front porch and knocked on the door.
After a brief moment, the porch light enlightened Thirteen's tear stained face. She heard the clicks of the lock on Lisa's door; the door swung open. Lisa took in the sight of a clearly distraught Thirteen. She had never seen Remy like this. She stepped outside, confused, and looked into Thirteen's tearful titanium eyes,
"Rem? W-Why are y-" she began, but was soon interrupted by Thirteen's arms wrapping around her waist in a strong embrace, and pulling her into a deep, powerful kiss. Suddenly, Lisa melted at Remy's touch. It felt comfortable; amazing. It felt genuine, compassionate; like it had before. The women shifted in each other's arms. Remy slid her hands up and underneath the fabric of Lisa's t shirt. Cuddy slowly backed up into the doorway, hoping Remy would follow her lead. Their lips in constant contact, they made their way to Lisa's front hallway. Remy gently pushed the door shut behind her. They slowly pulled apart, Lisa remaining in Remy's protective arms. Lisa rested her forehead on Remy's lips; Remy gently kissed Lisa's forehead. Remy ran her hands in lazy lines up and down Lisa's spine. Lisa tilted her chin to look into Remy's eyes; what she saw astounded her. She saw the deep scars of a loss, and she saw genuine attentiveness and longing; she saw the woman who had temporarily left her two months previous. Lisa placed her hands softly on either side of Remy's face; her pale green eyes seemed to bode, "talk to me."
Remy wrapped her arms tightly around Lisa's waist and hid her face in Lisa's neck. She began to sob again, thinking back on the recent loss of her friend Lena. As the sobs wracked her body, Lisa placed her hand gently on the back of Remy's neck and began caressing with her thumb.
Remy's body shook as she sobbed,
"I'm never going to let you go, Lisa Cuddy. Not as long as I live…."
Tears began falling down Lisa's cheeks as well. Thirteen's words carried immense weight; from the fighting, to the separation. Now, all Lisa wanted to do was hold Remy and never let her go.
"You don't ever have to let go...never, Remy."
If this chapter doesn't make you cry...more to come. PROMISE! :-)