So!!! This is the last chapter (along with the next one which I'll post as soon as I finish with this)
Thank you very much for reading, and specially for those who thake the time to review; that means the world to me, know that out there are people who actually like what I write is amazing, it makes you fell good.
"demelza12; twihaard22; StrangeMindFiction; squigglynn; Allien McFunkington; Teddybeargurl; Chasidy Smith; iloveJacobandJasper" my special thak you. You guys made me smile with your words. I love you
Now, about the story... the next chapter is very short, I'll explain why in the chapter. About this one, well, it's kind of tricky:
As always, the thougths are expressed with italics BUT I think that in this particular conversation, Edward was assaulted by every thought of everyone in his family, that's why I put the names before each one; in the original one, the thoughts were with different colors to be easily distinguishable, unfortunately in here I couldn't do that... If you ge confused, please let me know, I'll try to clarify them to you as soon as possible the best I can.
DISCLAIMER: TWILIGHT BELONGS TO STEPHENIE, THIS SILLY STORY BELONGS TO ME!!!
Chapter 19
VOTES
The dining room, for most of the families it was a place for reunion and coexistence, for mine, it was a place where we could discuss and solve problems, but today, it was the entrance of hell for me.
I couldn't understand how or why Bella wanted to do this. Yes, it was quite true that I wanted her to be like me to never lose her, but I couldn't damn her for mu selfishness; I love her too much to wish her such a fate.
My family had seen this coming from the beginning, from the very moment that my life became the life of Bella; glad to see me so happy. I had no idea how my solitude worried them until they were relieved to see me with someone and, after the last few months, they were determined not to let it happen again, even acting against my better impulses to not see me suffer, which I may appreciate over time, but not now.
"So, I have a problem"-Bella began shyly-"Alice promised the Volturi that I would become one of you"
Rosalie: "Grate! Miss human wants to be a vampire! Okay, okay, I know that two of my siblings almost die because of me and that thanks to her we are together now, but I can't simple avoid it. She's trashing everything overboard! She doesn't even know what's living! Doesn't realize that over the years she will miss and need everything she had now!"
"They're going to send someone to check, and I'm sure that's a bad thing-something to avoid"
Emmet: "Wow! Finally some action! Really bro, Bella is the best thing that ever happened to a vampire. There is always something to do!"
"And so, now, this involves you all. I'm sorry about that. But if you don't want me, then I'm not going to force myself on you"-Bella continued, glancing each one of us.
Esme: "What do you mean with 'if you don't want me'? Bella, you've always been welcomed. From the very moment that you stole the heart of my dear Edward"
"Whether Alice is willing or not"
Alice: "See, Edward. See what you've done? Now MY friend distrusts me because of your damned lies! I don't know how, bit you have to fox this"
"You all know what I want. And I'm sure you know what Edward thinks too"
"What I think too…" I rambled with the idea of changing Bella, to the way it made me feel; but it was something hard to know because I was full with mixed emotions.
I was trying to figure them out when my family thoughts scream in my mind, together! "OF COURSE WE KNOW!"
"Why?" I thought with a hint of indignation "Why my family didn't support my decision, why did they want this monstrous life for my sweet Bella?"
When Bella said 'go back to Italy alone' the anger that I had struggled so hard to contain rip trough me like a dull snarl, echoing deep in my chest "There's no way for me to leave her alone, much less to go to ITALY!"
"I want you to vote yes or no on the issue of me becoming a vampire"
Those words "Those goddamn words!" suddenly brought me back to reality…
"Just a minute"-I interrupted, frantically looking for something in my brain that could make her forget about this stupid plan.
When our eyes met, I could see pain and confusion mixed with anger at my interruption. Afraid to make her mad enough as our recent reconciliation does mean nothing, I squeezed tightly her hand with pleading eyes.
"I had something to add before we vote"
Her sigh, despite being a sigh of resignation, seems to me as a sing to continue. I didn't like her resignation to my wishes but, at this time, I could accept anything that helps me to discourage her of this destination…
The faces of Aro, Caius, Jane, Felix and Demetri came to my mind and, suddenly, a promising plan took form before my eyes.
"About the danger Bella's referring to, I don't think we need to be overly anxious"-I pursuing flippantly.
If my brothers helped me, there should be no problem.
"You see,"-The thrill of battle mixed with the euphoria of having back Bella at my side dominate me completely, permeating my movements and my voice as I spoke-"there was more than one reason why I didn't want to shake Aro's hand there at the end. There's something they didn't think of, and I didn't want to cine them in"
Honestly, I was exaggerating a bit, but one way or another I had to convince them.
"Which was?"-Alice popped skeptical "Because I saw nothing, Edward"
"The Volturi are overconfident, and with a good reason"
Alice: "I would rather call them arrogant but, what is that 'reason' you speak of?"
"When they decide to find someone, it's not really a problem"-"Especially when they want that SOMETHING very much" I thought as I look down, into my Bella's eyes-"Do you remember Demetri?"
She shivered in response "I know love, I'm scared too. But not for the same reasons"
"Demetri?" they thought all at once. Many of them didn't know him. In fact, I believe that only Alice, Bella and I know him…
Alice: "What's 'special' about him?"
"He finds people-that's his talent, why they keep him"
Alice: "Uh-hum and your point is?"
Carlisle: "Where do you want to go with that?"
"Now, the hole time we were with any of them, I was picking their brains for anything that might save us, getting as much information as possible"-I press a little bit more Bella's hand, repeating me again and again that there was no danger and that she was with me-"So I saw how Demetri's talent works"-"Well, that's an understatement. I would rather say that he was showing off"-"He's a tracker-a tracker a thousand times more gifted than James was. His ability is loosely related to what I do, or what Aro does. He catches the…flavor?"-"No, it's not that. is it the 'way' of thinking? Some kind of mental fingerprint?" -"I don't know how to describe it… the tenor… of someone's mind, and then he follows that"-And that, obviously, was the way in which Felix and he found me-"It works over immense distances. But after Aro's little experiments, well…"
Aro was very lucky that I hadn't annihilated him for having 'experimented' in that way with my Bella "What if they really hurt her?"
"You think he won't be able to find me"-Bella conclude with muffled, sad, disappointing voice. It kill me see her like that, specially knowing that I had caused that pain, nut there was no way for me to let her going with that ridiculous idea "There's nothing to worry about anymore. Without the threat of the Volturi finding her, she has no reason to fear about. Just like I swore before"
"I'm sure of it. He relies totally on that other sense"
"He's NOT the only one!" Alice, Jasper, Emmet and Carlisle thought dryly at the same time.
"When it doesn't work with you, they'll all be blind"-I continue without given them the slightest attention.
"And how does that solve anything?"
"Oh, c'mon, Bella! It's the perfect solution! Everything I've always wanted for you!"-"Quite obviously"-I replied looking fixedly into her deep chocolate brown eyes-"Alice will be able to tell when they're planning a visit, and I'll hide you. They'll be helpless"-I told her excitedly, trying to convince her but also, trying to convince myself that my plan would work "it HAS to work!"
Emmet: "Are you saying what I'm think you're saying, bro?"
I turn to him with a grin, but before I could answer him, Bella spoke.
"But they can find you"
"That's the plan, sweetheart" I thought as I reach my fist to Emmet's over the table.
"Excellent plan, my brother"-He said with enthusiasm.
"No"-Rosalie hissed "You're not going to be the only one in risk, you idiot! But the whole family! AND Bella! Honestly, do you really believe that she's going to sit around and just wait? Just look what she did today! Three days ago! for you!"
"Absolutely not"-Bella agrees.
"Nice"-Jasper commented "It's time for them to try 'una cucharada de su propio chocolate' (a spoon of his own chocolate)"
"Idiots"-Alice muttered "You know VERY WELL that this won't work, Edward. You've seen the same things I've seen! Bella WILL BE one of us, stop tormenting yourself…"
Esme: "Son, please, came to reason. Even if the plan works, then what? Are you going to let Bella age to repeat all this angst and despair when she dies? Edward! Neither of you deserves that fate. Bella is like a daughter to me and, as much as I love you, even if you are the first and most beloved of my children, I won't let you hurt her like that again. Did you understand, young man? Good intentions aren't always the right path"
"All right then"-Bella said firmly, claiming the attention now focused in me-"Edward has offered an alternative for you to consider. Let's vote"
I turn slowly to see her, as she nailed those deep eyes of her in mine.
"Do you want me to join your family?"-despite her effort to sound indifferent, I knew her well enough to detect insecurity and fear about my answer
"Not that way"-I said, struggling to sound positive. I couldn't let win my selfishness and keep her immortal by my side, that wasn't, in any way, the right thing to do "Mature, grow old and die. That's the natural and proper course of life" I repeated over and over again, trying to convince myself.
My next words were almost as difficult and painful to say as when I told her that I didn't love her anymore. I still couldn't believe that she believed me-"You're staying human"
Carlisle: "Edward, you know that I've always supported and respected your opinions, ideas and decisions; and you also know that I love you as my own son, even more, because you were my partner in my loneliness-and you still are-a friend; someone I could trust blindly; but I think this is one of the few and very rare occasions in which, rather than help you and guide you I will have to act, impose if you like, because I can't see how you hurt Bella AND yourself without doing anything. I love you too very much to let and see you go… and I won't let you hurt your mother like that again. Please, son, do the right thing. I don't want to have disagreements with you and you know perfectly fine that, if you don't do it, I will do it. Do you understand what mean, Edward? This need to be done, not only because the 'Volturi menace' (of which, I'm sure, I could care about without fighting, as you said before) but because is what Bella wants, what YOU need. Did you agree now with Bella becoming one of us? With all it entails?"
I couldn't answer, I felt trapped inside my own body, trying to digest Carlisle's words, a father to me in more ways than one. I knew he was right, that everything he said was nothing but the truth, that he only wanted my welfare and happiness and he knew all that was in Bella "My Bella" But I couldn't accept it, I shouldn't accept it, it wasn't right. There wasn't any reason for Bella to live this eternal torment…
"Edward"-Carlisle repeated out loud.
"No"-that's all I could say. Instinct was over taking me, pushing me to protect my mate against any kind of threat, getting all rational thought away from me at dizzying speed.
"It's the only way that makes sense"-He tried to reason with me-"You've chosen not to live without her, and that doesn't leave me a choice"-"I'm sorry"
I felt a growl rumble in my chest and how the little control I had left slip as water through my fingers.
I got up, afraid of hurting Bella; I release her hand and left the room, snarling under my breath a string of insults against my selfishness and stubbornness.
"I guess you know my vote"-Carlisle say Bella with a sigh "I'm really sorry, son"
"Thanks"- the voice of my angel, despite being weak, was still full of happiness, peace and hope, flew to my ears.
A wild impulse wild impulse seized me up and the only thing at handy to ride my anger, frustration, resentment and fear was the new and recently acquired sixty-inch plasma TV fetched specially from Korea. I took it with both hands and ripped into halves, like a simple and useless piece of paper.
I knew they get mad, in fact, I could hear Emmet begging to sky that is wasn't his 'baby' of sixty inches; but this time I really didn't care "I take care of that later!"
I didn't understand my family! I thought we all agreed that this wasn't the kind of live, of future we had chosen. So, what's the insistence now of changing Bella! She! That has all the potential, all the opportunities in life that we had lost so long ago.
"Where do you want to do this?"-Bella's voice blew up my ears.
"WHAT? NO! Not now!" Maybe, just maybe I could accept this with time. Time they were taking away from me! I couldn't let that happen "I need time! Time to love her, to care of her; to convince her that she's everything I've always wanted. Time to show her all the wonderful human experiences that she give up without a second thought; time for her to love life!"
"No! No! NO!"-I came in angry and terrified by the rush of the things. I was in front of her in no time, so close that I could feel her warm and sweet breath on my face. Decided, if it's needed, to force her to postpone her ridiculous plans-"Are you insane? Have you utterly lost your mind?"
It hurt, deep down in my heart, to talk to her in that way, to be so rude and brutal; but all my attempts had failed "Perhaps if I put my foot down…"
Alice: "Help me, Edward! If I do it I will kill her!"
"You can do it"-Bella urged Alice-"I trust you"
And I don't know why, but her words and her tone made me feel that she didn't trust me; 'a normal thing after everything you've done!' anybody could think, but still, it was painful…
A snarl thundered in my chest so hard that I shook from head to toe. I didn't know whether it was result of the pain or the anger that consumed me and wipe away everything in its path.
"Carlisle?"
"That's it!" that was the drop that spilled the glass. One thing was dragging Alice into this and quite another was engaged Carlisle "He CAN do it! He has done it four times before and has enough self control to do it again!" I thought terrified, desperate to avoid this possibility, especially after the 'words' of my father.
Never, in all my life, I physically forced someone to full fill my will, much less Bella. That was extremely bad; I had been raised to care for, to protect and respect women; not to submit them, but my control lay at my feet with my chivalry so, I took strongly but gently her delicate and beautiful face, forcing her to look at me, while I pointed out the vampire behind me to keep quiet.
And of course, none of them listen to me, not even Bella when I begged for more time.
But what hurt the most, which terrified me and tore my heart, was when she told me to let her go "What have I done?"
Those were the words I dreaded to hear, because they meant that she didn't want me, that she didn't trust me, that she didn't need me…
My anger turn into despair and, in the midst of my distress at finding a solution to what I've done-begging to the sky for she to take me back- I remembered her father "A father that just recovered his baby girl back AND that is about to awaken"
I decided to play that card: appealing to the emotional bonds she had with her human parents and friends. I was playing dirty, hurting her deeply with that, but I was desperate to make her understand.
I saw the pain, shame, despair, emptiness and uncertainty glided slowly on her face while thinking about the people she loved and the consequences of her abandon (abandonment because, after her transformation, she could never see them again) "It may work. Maybe I can win some time to convince her…"
"In the interest of remaining inconspicuous, I suggest that we put this conversation off"-I proposed when I see the emotional conflict on Bella's face-"at the very least until Bella finishes high school, and moves out of Charlie's house"
"That's a reasonable request, Bella"-Carlisle pointed out.
"Yes, thank you SO much. It gives me time to gain more time" I thought relieved.
Alice: "It's going to work, Edward. But not the way you want. Bella will become in one of us before the year ends. Just one thing: you know that, bring her with us to just 'change' her, without a bond between you it's not the way to do it, at least not the right way to do it, you know we love her and we can't wait for her to be our sister; but you and I (specially you) want her to become a CULLEN before becoming a vampire"
"Uh? What is Alice talking about?" I didn't understand quite well what she was trying to tell me, it was weird and disconcerting the way she emphasized 'Cullen'; but I didn't waste a thought in that either because Bella had agreed to postpone things…
"I should probably take you home"-"Far away from the 'bad influences' where I can beg, plead and humiliate myself if needed to get a little more time"-"Just in case Charlie wakes up early"
"After graduation?"-Bella asked Carlisle, making sure that they had a deal-
"You have my word"-He said.
"Okay"-She said with an angelical smile on her full, tempting lips "That woman is going to be the death of me"-"You can take me home"