"No man is an island, this I know." Black Flies– Ben Howard
SAKUMO STARED AT his son from across the table, his hands folded as though he was in a business meeting. His ankles were folded beneath the kitchen table's chair, his entire body feeling frozen with confusion. Truth be told, he had positioned himself this way so that he wouldn't have to think about what to do with his body.
Kakashi gazed back at him with too much patience for a six year old.
Horror had gripped him when his son told him what had happened – what would happen if he was not careful. That had been only moments ago and he had yet to respond verbally. His initial response had been to shut down physically and stare angrily into space.
Sakumo realized that it had been too long to sit and say nothing. It had to have been at least ten minutes that they'd sat like this. So, he tried to say something, opening and closing his mouth like a breathless fish. His larynx was useless, receiving no wind from his lungs despite their somewhat laboured breathing.
"Tou-san, I–" Kakashi fell silent when Sakumo held up his hand. The man was so young. Younger than he was now, despite the strange state of his body.
Sakumo placed his hand on the table, wiping at the surface as though the buffing motion would alleviate his internal dilemma. "I will be here. For all of it, this time."
Something uncomfortable stirred in Kakashi's gut and tears pricked painfully at the corners of his eyes. Kakashi took a deep breath, coughing slightly when it caught in his throat. He chuckled a little and then tapped his fingers on the surface of the table. He felt internally jittery in a way he had not in a long time. "I'd like that."
He had not felt such hope for longer than he could remember. It was unfamiliar to the point of discomfort.
"So, you wanna go get some food or something?" Kakashi asked awkwardly, scratching at his scalp.
"Yeah, let me grab my coat."
"And if I do this thing right, I dream of our escape. Oh, and we run, and we run, and we run, and we run, and we run, and we run, and we run until we break through." If I Get High; Nothing But Thieves
STANDING BEFORE HIM now, Kakashi felt every ounce of awkward school child that he should have always felt and never had before. Minato looked at him with a clouded expression, looking both at him and through him.
They were standing at the training field, though with the haggard state of his body they both knew that Kakashi would not be training today. He'd just needed a break from the monotony of the great indoors.
In his old life, he'd always been so sure what to say. He always known how to fight to keep people or when to leave and be on his own. Here, the setting was so bizarre for him he had no clue what he was meant to say. He had a few lines filtering in and out but every time he set to open his mouth nothing would come out. What was he truly meant to say here?
'Sorry that I'm from the future and you're finding out about a great mess of trauma that you very much did experience but have not yet? Sorry that I've lied to you for the last few months about who I am?'
Minato studied his pupil for a moment more before stepping forward. Kakashi's body tensed up as his sensei reached out to him. Somewhere in the back of his mind it registered that he'd never had benign physical contact in his youth. He was prepared to be throttled and shaken, for answers to be demanded of him.
He wasn't prepared for the embrace. Minato lifted him up off the ground and held him close. Panic rose in Kakashi's throat at the intimate gesture, but he shoved it down and realized that this was a normal interaction for a father figure to have towards someone in their care when great stress had occurred. The comfort was just coming years too late for it to feel normal.
He patted Minato's back in an attempt to soothe the older man.
Minato laughed bitterly. "It's not your job to comfort us Kakashi. You have suffered more than any of us. Why are you trying to take our pain, too?"
His childhood sensei set him back down on the ground and knelt in front of him. His eyes were hard and Kakashi could practically feel the fury rippling off the man. "We will not be caught like that again. What you lived through will not come to pass another time. I am going to need to ask you a favour."
Kakashi paused, his expression flat. "What?"
"Kenta-san is going to need to take the Hokage in to see again."
His heart sank. He looked up into the sky, searching for a different option. "Can't you just use a genjutsu?"
"You know that's not good enough. Put yourself in his shoes. What would you want?"
Minato looked as conflicted as Kakashi felt, but they both knew the answer to that question.
"... Fine."
Kakashi withdrew from Minato, and Minato let him. His hands dropped away from where they'd been planted on the child's shoulders.
"What is easier for you? Do I treat you like an equal or like I always have?" Minato squatted now, drawing in the dirt. "Kushina is most curious about the things that have been happening. I also… I did not know. I did not know yet what she was– or rather, rather, what she contains."
It was the first authentic surprise Kakashi had felt in a while. "What?"
Minato's lips thinned as he nodded, almost embarrassed. "I… I might have been a bit prejudiced. I can see why she wouldn't have told me."
"There's also the fact that it's likely an S-Class secret, sensei. Perhaps it's best if we don't discuss this here, eh?"
Minato scuffed his foot along the ground and nodded. "Jiraiya would like to see you soon. Do you feel up to a visit?"
Kakashi picked at the dirt underneath his fingernails, not wanting to answer. He plucked a kunai from his weapons pouch and cleaned underneath his thumbnail. "You were a great sensei… Perhaps that season is over."
The blonde's expression clouded. "Aa."
"I've never had a brother though… I'm sure my tou-san is open to the idea of another son."
Minato laughed. "Are you just trying to avoid seeing Jiraiya-sensei?"
"Maybe." Kakashi examined his nails, finding them clean and free of debris. Instead of pocketing the kunai, he flung it at his new friend and then darted away with a laugh. There had been so much talking in the past week and he just needed to move his body again.
He was still stiff and tired, but the physical discomfort overrode his emotional discomfort. "Slow down, you twerp!"
He forced chakra through his unhappy pathways and into his muscles, trying to continue his mad dash. Minato caught him easily enough. He huffed in annoyance as he grabbed the youth by the wrist.
"We're going home, Kakashi."
Kakashi deflated a little, his sudden thrill withering away. Minato didn't let go of his wrist, pulling him off at a brisk pace. His sore muscles protested and the logical part of his brain was appreciative he hadn't been allowed to be so reckless. "Aa. Let's go."
"In this life, we'll never fall apart, and never our strength shall falter." Fortaleza; Hanging Valleys
SAKUMO WAS SWEEPING when Kakashi and Minato arrived. He was surprised by the gentle knock at the door. When he opened the door, Minato was still holding Kakashi by the arm. Kakashi looked every bit of the pouting six year old.
"To what do I owe this treasure?" Sakumo mused.
"I think it would be best for Kakashi-kun's… err, development if I came to stay with you, Sakumo." Minato held eye contact for only a brief moment before dropping his gaze back to his feet in shame. His ears were red and the embarrassed flush was beginning to spread to his entire face.
"I have told you you're welcome, Minato. We don't have a…." He trailed off as he searched for the word. "Sprawling estate, but it's home."
Minato's grip was like an iron brand on his arm, but Kakashi didn't dare to utter a word or bring attention to himself at that moment. In his younger years, he'd never considered the weight his sensei had carried. He'd been too consumed by the rage of his youth.
It wasn't until he was older, leading his own team, with no family to fall back on that he'd wondered what the man had gone through in the flurry of missions and the endless pursuit of power to protect the few that he did have.
Sakumo rapped the broom on the floor uncomfortably. "Well come on in, we have company tonight. I'll need your help cooking. We can talk about getting your stuff tomorrow. I have a few different bedrooms. Kakashi can show you around."
Minato nodded and quickly stepped inside, releasing Kakashi's arm when he realized the death grip he'd been utilizing.
Kakashi walked in and to the left, to the large stairway that utilized the corner of the room. It curved up and to the right onto the second floor. "Tou-San is in the back, down that hallway," he gestured to the hallway to the right of the stairs that separated the wall of the living room and open kitchen. "Our rooms are upstairs. There's a spiral staircase on the other side of the house that's more fun, but less practical."
"Spiral?"
"Aa. It's fun to teach the dogs to go up and down it really fast, actually."
At the top of the stairs, there was a hall way that ran along the far wall. There was a corner bedroom and then a long hallway that ran down the middle of the floor with broad, beautiful skylights and incredibly thick glass that was marbled to cast bright, private lighting. There was a simply library with large chairs on the landing, then down the hallway were more bedrooms. The corner bedroom was Kakashi's, as Sakumo had valued his room being close when nighttime paranoia had struck him. He'd often crept in to make sure the boy was still there.
That bedroom shared a bathroom with another bedroom, both of which overlooked the training yard that the large home wrapped around. It was a decent sized home for one family, but not much to look at as far as clan accommodations went. The Hatakes had never really been too large a group.
Kakashi was happy to give a tour of his childhood bedroom, as it felt like such a normal thing to do. He opened the door wide. "Do you like my wallpaper?"
It was a deep blue colour with many puppies running around on it. From afar they were hard to make up, but up close each dog was unique and scurrying after another friend. Further back it looked like strange marbling.
"Yes. Yes, I do." Minato crept up close to the paper. "This is incredible. "They're all different?"
"Aa. My Kaa-san must have done that before I was born. Or maybe when I was young. I think my dad said it was some kind of Justu she must have done."
"Wow…." Minato ran his hand along the wall, amazed.
"Come on, check out the bathroom. It's nothing special, but comfortable to poop in."
Minato chuckled and followed Kakashi into the bathroom. There was a large, rounded tub that would have been amazing for a child to play in. The decor here was much more subtle. Sakumo had been expecting many more children, truth be told.
"You can have the room on the other side, if you want. You can have any of them, but it might be cool if you had that one," Kakashi said lamely. It was beginning to hit him just how different having Minato in the home would make things. He'd actually be living as a brother. "You're lucky we're not a big clan or this might not be a feasible swing. I never really understood clan rules, to be honest."
"Me either," Minato murmured. For some reason Kakashi that was the funniest thing he'd heard in a while.
The two of them laughed as they entered the other bedroom. It was simple and the walls were a soft sage green. There was no pattern on the wall, but Kakashi had a feeling that wouldn't matter to Minato. There was a large dresser in one corner for the room, a small table, and a single futon curled up in a mattress protector on the table.
"It's perfect."
Kakashi lifted his eyes from the walls to Minato's face, a little taken aback by the certainty in his eyes. His jaw was a set in a hard line and Kakashi realized it was to hold back whatever vulnerable emotion he was feeling.
It would indeed be strange to get used to this side of his sensei. For all the depth of love he had felt for his teacher, it struck a chord in his heart to realize how little he'd actually known him.
"So can I call you nee-San or what?" He murmured, trying to give the older man an out if he wanted it.
Minato shoved him away with a fake laugh. "Go help your dad cook, I'm going to rearrange in here."
Kakashi scoffed and trotted out of the room. If the man needed a good cry by himself he would let him.
As he was coming down the stairs, he saw his dad opening the door once more. The door obstructed his view and he couldn't see who was there, but his nose easily picked up the musky smell of Jiraiya.
His dad remarked on the other ninja's earliness. The Sannin laughed. "Better to be early than give your little treasure the ability to skip out on me."
Kakashi peeked around the door. "I'm going to pretend that remark is you admitting my superiority."
Jiraiya cackled to himself. "Come on kid, let's play some games while your old man cooks."
"Are we still pretending I'm a kid?"
"What would you prefer?" Sakumo asked, shutting the door behind Jiraiya. His frilly pink apron was too much and Kakashi smiled a little behind his mask as his dad tightened the ties on said apron.
"To be able to drink sake, preferably," Kakashi groused, reaching hopefully after that bottle that Jiraiya had tucked under his arm.
"Keep dreaming kid," Jiraiya snickered, holding the bottle high in the air. Kakashi jumped after it half-heartedly. "I do have some appointments I want to set up with Kenta-San. I know you're pretty irritated with him right now, but there are a few things we wanna do there."
"Right to business, huh? Not even gonna try to woo me? I'm offended, Jiraiya," whined Kakashi, folding his arms over his chest like a bratty child.
"It is really creepy when you talk like that but look like a child, gaki."
Kakashi immediately henged into an old woman. "Is this better? Someone more your age range?"
Jiraiya blanched and set his belongings down at the high table that overlooked the training yard. "You're a piece of work. And because you're such a piece of work, Kenta-san wants to work with you not just on memory acquisition for the purpose of involving the Hokage and to create some battle plans from the things you've got up here—" Jiraiya tapped his forehead. "But also to run you through some PTSD genjutsus and therapy programs ot get rid of some of your overwhelming anxiety and nightmares. All free of charge, obviously. You really are a village treasure at this point."
"Ah, yes, code for 'can't be left alone' and 'potential suicide risk.' Delightful."
Kakashi did not sit down with Jiraiya, instead moving to the kitchen to help his father cut vegetables. Jiraiya rolled his eyes and got up from the table, moving to sit at one of the stools that littered the kitchen's island on the side of the living area.
"Look you are under obligation to fulfill the necessary task of memory acquisition but healing from what you've been through is your choice, Kakashi."
It was the first bit of solid advice Kakashi had heard in years, even before coming back to this time period. Somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind a voice whispered to him that he deserved to suffer. It hadn't occurred to him that the weight of the future didn't have to sit squarely on his own shoulders. He did have the ability ot heal and move on, not just bury things deep within his psyche.
Realizing he'd finally made a little bit of a dent, Jiraiya switched up his tactics and moved on to address Sakumo. "So I haven't exactly trained with anyone of your caliber in a while. Any chance we can cut it up tomorrow morning? You've got a great set up out there."
"Aa, I do, but not for the type of combat you and I area likely to engage in. I think the training field over by the Sashimi place — the one next to the Uchiha Park?—would be better suited to our needs."
Uchiha Park. Yes. That still existed. Kakashi tuned out their conversation and tried to focus on cutting the vegetables as he thought. He wondered who the Hokage would invite into the process. What would it look like to take out some of the treats early on? Who could they swing vote into not betraying Konoha this time? If they could appease the Uchiha that left a lot more workability but changed things quite drastically. It left Madara the room to work within the village.
Kakashi found himself a little bit relieved for the first time by the idea of other minds being able to turn over the events. Minato had not been elected the Fourth Hokage yet, so perhaps there would even be time to turn Orochimaru's offense away— not to give him to the position, but to potentially craft an alternative and to keep him from becoming the monster that he'd been in the past life.
There was no telling that that would even be a possibility, though. But they hadn't proved that it wasn't yet, either.
Kakashi pinned the thought when he heard Minato coming down the stairs. He was grateful for the older boy's presence, because the conversation immediately shifted to what was going on near the border where he was about to be sent on a quick recon trip.
Grateful for the shift in conversation, Kakashi grabbed a nearby piece of paper and began to covertly scribble down ideas for how to tackle the problems of a distant future.
A/N: Sorry it's been so long, guys. I'm about to spend six months overseas, somewhere a bit remote. I will still be writing and doing my best to update frequently, it's just been a weird time of life for me the last few months in particular. I'd love to catch up with y'all. HUGE shout out to Jenny, whose reviews always make me smile. :)
After all the settling down that's had to happen, next chapter we should start to see some more motion as far as actually starting to change things. I've got some ideas up my sleeve. ;)