Disclaimer: Nothing.

I Love You, Forevermore
—Truth Among Truths—
FIVE

Dick placed his plate and fork in the sink and inhaled the scent of vanilla mixed with something else less pleasant. Where is that coming from? He walked around, following his sense of smell. It led, not to Rachel's room, but the guest bedroom. He opened the door fully and the smell smacked him in the face, full blast. Looking around, the room looked almost exactly like Rachel's only blue. The closet was open and a large kitchen trash bag was full of different papers and folders. He walked closer to the closet and found a leather bound book on the floor next to the trash bag. It was like Rachel could not decide whether or not it was worth keeping. Dick picked up the book and kept looking for where the smell might be coming from.

And then he found it. A large vanilla candle with a picture to the side of it that had a hole burned in the middle of it. When he turned it over he saw something he had never wanted to see in his entire life. Why? Why would she do something like that? And then he opened the book to see what was inside.

—

The book seemed to open up by itself. Well, maybe with the help of one small nudge by Dick. He glanced back at the picture once before looking inside the book. The page that the book had opened up to was dated July 18th, 2005. That was the same day as—! Dick thought frantically. This must have been her diary. . . or was. With new-found determination, he looked down and read the entry.

"July 18th, 2005.

Diary—

It has finally happened. He is gone! Trigon is no more. With the help of my friends, especially Robin, I am no longer plagued by that demon inside of me. I never thought there would be a day that I could say, "I feel. . ." . But there is. I have found it. Happiness, eccentricity, sadness, anger, all these emotions I can feel. And with this discovery, it seems as if the bond between Robin and I has only deepened. Maybe it was because of what we went through together, maybe not. I cannot believe someone would risk themselves as to go to the pits of Hell just to rescue someone— someone like me. That is dedication. Maybe I'll ask him why he did all that he did. Maybe even tonight. I long to be near him, I long to see him, smell him, hear him speak to me. When did I become so — attached? It seems like for the first time, I actually know someone. Someone who is like me, and knows me. Why do I feel this fluttering in my heart, this freeness in my soul, whenever I talk or think about him? I cannot describe the way I feel whenever I am around him. Could it be that I am in love with Robin? Can someone like me love? So many questions are plaguing my mind, and I cannot get them to stop! There is only one resolution. . . I have to talk to Robin. Who knows? Maybe he might love me back.."

Dick closed the book. It was plain obvious Rachel, or rather Raven, had been head over heels for himself. But the evidence of the burned picture confused him. It saddened him that the picture was more recent than the diary entry by seven years. She had loved me. . . It killed Dick to use past tense in that sentence. But she wanted to forget about me. So she burned the evidence that proved that we were ever together. But what about the diary? She didn't throw that away. The doubts that were bursting in his mind one after another soon slowed down as a few hopeful aspirations popped up. There were entries after the one I read. They were probably filled with the thoughts of a girl first experiencing love. So maybe she couldn't forget about me, completely. . . Maybe some love still existed in her heart and not just lust.

But what if that isn't the case? Dick thought despairingly. What if she is miserable here as a civilian and wanted to feel powerful as a Titan just once more? What if she is just attracted to my physique and has no feelings for the man behind it? I did say I wasn't even staying a week. Is this her version of a one-night stand? Dick brushed a hand through his shoulder-length hair. This was getting him nowhere. He needed answers before his thoughts ate him alive. But where? Rachel was at work. . . and so was Sharon. Unfortunately, he didn't know anyone else she kept in touch with. She never spoke of any friends except for Sharon. "I guess I have no choice. I have to go visit her at the hospital." Dick closed the book and placed it back on the floor. "Whether she wants me to or not."

—

"Rachel?" Rachel looked up at the sound of her name.

"Yeah, Sharon?" She walked over to her friend and co-worker.

"They've got it in for us, today. Two back surgeries and a hip replacement." Sharon sighed. "Today won't end for a long time."

"How lovely. . . We'll be working overtime!" Rachel mocked a happy expression, but soon returned to normal. "Which doctors?" She asked.

"The first two are with Dr. Baxter, so they'll go pretty fast, but the hip replacement is with Dr. Maxwell. And we all know the old coot takes forever!" Rachel chuckled at Sharon when she raised her arms in a 'why?' gesture and looked to the ceiling as if she was asking God what she had done wrong to deserve this horrible fate.

"We better go, Bad Luck, otherwise we will be late for surgery number one." The girls chuckled at that as they walked down the never-ending hallway to where the front board and the elevators were so they could enter another never-ending hallway that would lead them to where the surgery would be performed. They didn't think that at the front board a certain someone would be waiting.

"Rachel!" She jumped as someone said her name rather loudly. She turned her head to see Dick in all his dark glory wearing shorts and a t-shirt. This is so embarrassing. . . She thought as everyone passing by stopped and stared at not only the rather handsome looking guy, but at Rachel. You know, Rachel? Anti-social, non-lovable, outcast, probably lesbian Rachel? She has a guy like that chasing her down? What is wrong with her?

"Um. . . yeah?" She asked, not forgetting how uncomfortable and awkward this seemed to her with all her coworkers staring at her. Dick didn't seem to notice. He was on a mission, and would not rest, would not stop, until it was finished and he got his answers.

"I, uh. . ." He started only to be caught off by Rachel,

"You what?" She challenged. "It better be quick, whatever it is. I have a back surgery to get to in the next two minutes, so I would say you have thirty seconds and counting to say whatever to you have to say and leave." She looked at her watch and then back at him to usher him along. "Better start talking. . ."

"Okay," He inhaled before he started talking. ". 't. ?" Rachel stood back a step and her eyes widened at what he said in such a short period of time. How did he find that? "So?" He asked.

"I'm sorry, but I'm late for my surgery. . ." Rachel stuttered for a few moments and then turned to walk away but didn't get far. Dick was holding onto her arm, and tightly. She was going nowhere until he got his answers. "Dick, let go of me, I have to go."

"You can't even look me in the eye. I need to know why." Dick looked at her, and she realized he was right. She couldn't look him in the eye because she was ashamed of what she did. She just got him back and she didn't want to lose him again. But how could she tell him that when he saw evidence that she had tried to forget him, and recently? She knew he was smart enough for all the clues to register. She knew he knew. And that hurt.

"Seriously, Dick! I have to go to my—" She never finished that sentence.

"What's going on here? This is a hospital, not the ladies' restroom!" Everyone quickly ran to where they were supposed to be minutes ago. This was Dr. Maxwell. He was going on seventy, but his mind was as sharp as ever. He loved to insult others, and had been at the same hospital for so many decades that if you said one wrong word, one comeback, he would report you and then do whatever he could to get you fired. He held a lot of power and influence. This was sometimes a good thing, but generally? It was a very bad thing. This is not looking good. Oh, crap! Why did you have to come now of all times, Dick?

"Miss Roth. What do we have here?" He said very suspiciously. "Does this. . . man. . . have some relation to you?" He asked her.

"Yes, sir. He is an old friend who has recently come back to visit, sir." Rachel hated this man, he wanted respect, which she gave, but she could not help but feel a fishy air around him. He liked trouble. Especially if he was the cause. This won't turn out good. I'm as good as dead. Rachel had faced many villains in her life, heck, she brought down the Devil, but she could not help but feel intimidated as she was looked at like a piece of meat.

"How many times have I repeated that personal life should never interfere with the workplace?" Oh, Lord, here it comes. "Consider yourself fired."

Rachel looked like she was going to cry and Dick immediately knew she was going to be Hell once they got to a more secluded place, like her apartment. "Yes, sir." She said. She kept it together very well, actually. She nodded her head at her former boss and walked to the elevator and pushed the down button.

—

It was a long and silent bus ride to Rachel's apartment. Rachel refused to look or even acknowledge Dick which made him sulk even more. He felt guilty. He just ran into Rachel's personal life after seven years of separation and had done nothing but screw it up ever since. Every few seconds he stole a look at Rachel. . . she looked like she did when they first formed the Titans: depressed, anxious, and skeptical plus a hundred other negative emotions behind a skillfully-placed mask holding herself together. Most people would think she was all fine and dandy. But Dick was not "most people". He knew her better than anyone else. He could tell she was falling apart at the seams.

And it was all his fault.

He ruined everything.

Her quiet life as a civilian was now over because of him.

His train of negative thinking was put on pause as they exited the bus without a word to each other. They silently walked up all six flights to her apartment and Dick handed her the keys he had used to lock up earlier. She took the keys with shaky hands. Right before she placed the key in the keyhole to unlock the door, the keys dropped from her hand. She hunched over and embraced herself. Her shoulders were shaking as silent sobs racked her body. I have to do something. She's hurt all because of me. I need to make her better! As soon as he touched her shoulder, the sobs were not so silent, anymore.

He held her by her shoulders not too far from his own body. She looked up with tears escaping her eyes down her cheeks in several places. "Wh— why?" She asked him in desperation. Why do bad things only happen to me? He slipped his hands down her back as he pressed her body to his own.

"It's gonna be okay. Shh. . . It's gonna be alright." He reassured her. "I'll make sure of it. I didn't find you after seven years just for you to be miserable." He paused for a moment as he swallowed a huge lump in his throat. "I love you, Rae. I'm sorry and I won't let you stay this way." He backed away enough for him to hold her chin in his hand. "It's not an option." He smiled at her and she tried her hardest to smile back only to fail miserably. He was trying to make her feel better, true, but he was the reason she was like this, right? Then why was it so hard to stay mad at him? Maybe I love him too much. . .

Dick just smiled at her tiny frame. He loved her so much. If I made her feel so miserable, then I'll have to give her the best day of her life to compensate! No longer was he driven for answers. In fact, he couldn't care less at the moment. All he wanted to do was to show his love for her.

He let go of Rachel for a moment to bend down and pick up the neglected keys. He unlocked her apartment door and ushered her in. Closing the door behind him, he locked it in place and put the keys on the kitchen table. Rachel was sitting in one of the kitchen chairs, still crying, although it had toned down quite a bit.

"I— I'm sorry. I probably look really ugly right now." Rachel apologized as she wiped away the still-flowing tears from her face.

Dick shook his head. "No. No, you don't. You look like you were disappointed, but not ugly. I don't think I've ever seen you look ugly." He smiled at her and wiped away her tears with his thumbs. They had almost stopped flowing and Dick felt a weight lift off his chest knowing that he could make her feel better, if only a little. I guess she does still love me.

This time Rachel smiled for real. Dick kneeled down so he was almost the same height as she was on the chair. "Can I kiss you?" He whispered while deeply looking her in the eyes. It usually would have made her nervous, or at least uncomfortable, but it made her feel, well, loved. She nodded her head in agreement. With the last of her tears already shed and a smile on her face, Dick thought that she looked happy, truly happy. He leaned forward very slowly and pressed his lips to hers. She closed her eyes and leaned into it.

Dick brought a hand up to place in her thick, black tresses, and rested the other one on the back of her neck. Rachel noticed this and wrapped her arms around his neck in return. While still liplocked, Dick used his hands to make Rachel lean forward until she was off the chair and kneeling on the floor just like him.

He smiled and hungrily licked her lips, seeking entrance which she readily gave. Their tongues battled for dominance and before either of them knew it, Dick was lying on the floor with Rachel pressed snugly on top of him. She broke the kiss for air which gave Dick the perfect opportunity to gaze deeply into her blue eyes. "I think I could get used to this. . ." Rachel told him.

"Not me." Dick replied and Rachel looked at him in question. "Every time it would have to be a new adventure." She smiled and kissed him.

"You sure know how to charm a girl." Rachel laughed as she spoke.

Dick leaned up to chastely kiss her. "I've only been daydreaming for seven years." He smiled even though he saw pain in her eyes for a brief moment. She must be thinking it's her fault. But it is mine as much as hers, if not more. "Now that I have you, I don't think I can let go of you, again." He kissed her cheek and then her temple, her forehead, and finally the tip of her nose. "I love you, Rachel. I love you."

Her eyes started to water, but she wouldn't allow herself to cry. She wouldn't! There was no way she was going to— Oh, to hell with it. . . A few teardrops slid down her cheeks and dropped onto his, but no more tears came after her sudden burst of emotion. "I love you, too, Dick." She shared his smile.

Rachel rolled off of him and slowly sat up. Dick soon followed after her. As they sat next to each other, he looked deeply into her eyes. "You know what I think?" He asked her with a smirk as he leaned in to kiss her cheek.

"No. What do you think?" Rachel asked with an amused smile as she looked at him. She was now one hundred and eighty degrees the opposite direction of how she felt not even ten minutes ago. He was like a drug and she couldn't get enough.

Dick's smile suddenly vanished and he looked at her with one of the most serious expressions she had ever seen on him. "I think it may be time for you to disappear again." He told her, and Raven knew exactly what he meant.

"I think you're right."

—Fin—

A/N: Okay, just so you know, I put "Raven" in there intentionally (if you catch my drift). I would like to thank all my wonderful reviewers who have supported me not only with this story (and "I Love You, Nevermore" which it used to be called), but with all the stories I am working on, now. I'm working on "Troubled Mind", "A Tale of a Raven", and "Amongst the Quiet" (believe it or not; I really am). However, as for more story ideas, this story desperately needs some. If you have any ideas, please either review or PM me. PMs are recommended, though. Anyway, thank you all for watching my stories and reading them. Hopefully I can finish chapter seven of "Troubled Mind" soon, since I know a few of you out there are desperately wanting to know what's going to happen next. I hope I can live up to your expectations.

Signed,
Her Sappiness