Disclaimer: I own only Igorina and those who interact with her. All others and the setting belong to Mr. Terry Pratchett.
Greetings, Readers! I here present for your consideration the second installment in my story. Caveat Emptor.
Uberwaldian mountains paths are the stuff of stories. It is on those roads that bandits accost unsuspecting victims, witches build their bread-based cottages and werewolves howl at the moon. They are also the mainstay of the Uberwald-Ankh-Morpork Express Coach Service (No Service Octadays, Keep your Fangs to Yourself or no Ride). One of these coaches was currently bumping along at the pace of a snail along the side of a ridiculously steep mountain.
Igorina was not pleased. She had been sitting in the same coach for two days, with two stops per day. The springs from the coach seats were digging into her back, and she had read the three books she had brought in her bag over and over. And now people were trying to talk to her.
"Where are you headed, m'dear?" Asked the large plump woman in the seat next to her.
"Ankh-Morpork." Igorina answered, turning once again towards the window.
"Really? Bound for Sto Lat, meself. I've got a son there. In the guard. Nice boy. Gettin' married next summer, he is. Not the girl I would have chosen, though. Foreign, you know. Bathin' and nonsense. But some things can't be avoided. At least he's marrying. Never though I'd see the day. Not the wedded type, I said…" She chattered on. Igorina continued to stare out the window. Mile after mile of frozen wood and icy water passed by, until Igorina felt herself dozing off. Suddenly, she felt a sensation that she, who had never left the mountains in her life, had never experienced before. The ground was sloping down and slowly flattening out. Before her spread the vast Sto Plains, wavwateing like a golden sea on a stormy night. Behind her, Uberwald lurked like a dark shadow. And far off on the horizon, she saw a dark mass, larger than anything she'd ever seen, besides the mountains and Cousin Ig.
"Is that Ankh-Morpork?" She asked the woman next to her, who, much to Igorina's surprise, burst out laughing.
"Ankh-Morpork? That? Bless me, no! That's only Sto Lat! When you see Ankh-Morpork, you'll know." She then proceeded to chuckle to herself until the coach reached the city gate. Igorina ignored her, and stared out the window. Sto Lat may have been a paltry provincial town compared to Ankh-Morpork, but it was still the biggest town Igorina had ever seen. More people than the mountains of Uberwald contained walked in these streets. Not just people either. Trolls, dwarves and myriad other creatures Igorina didn't recognize walked side by side with the humans. She stared wide eyes for so long her eyes started to water and she had to shut them. All of a sudden, she became aware of the lovely rocking motions of the coach, as well as the fact that she had last slept at the coach stop somewhere between Borogravia and the Sto Plains. Gradually, she drifted away into the dream-duck filled pond of sleep.
Igorina awoke to the rather unpleasant feeling of being poked with a stick. A voice drifted through her sleep-addled head and hit her brain.
"Excuse me? Miss? Er…Miss? Are you dead? Meaning no disrespect, but I got to charge less for Death During Trip on account of less traveling expenses, so if you'd just let me know and I'll take it off your bill, only I don't know if I have to check in at central, so if it's all the same, I'll just give you the fourpence ha'penny now, 'cause it'll save time…" Igorina opened her eyes and realized the coachman was talking to her.
"Is this my stop?"
"…and the boss gets upset if I go anywhere extra, so maybe I'll just give you to the hurry-up wagon, I think the watch has a morgue and…"
"Is this my stop?"
"What? Oh. Yea." The coachman stopped prodding her and stepped out of the coach. He then stood at attention next to the door and spoke in the international tone of public employees.
"Number 33, Plaza of the Broken Moons, Anhk, Ankh-Morpork. Straightaway Service, Paid For At Pick-up Spot By One Igor, Courtesy Of Ankh-Morpork Mail Coaches. I Hope You Enjoyed Your Trip. Thank You For Travelling With Us By Mail Coach." He dropped her trunk on the pavement, hopped into the driver's seat and sped away.
Igorina surveyed the building in front of her. Her senses had not quite caught up with her surroundings, and she was filtering out the side noise of Ankh-Morpork. She managed to take in the wrought-iron gates, topped by lilies with human heads in bronze. The gravel coachway curving in a crescent in front of a white-columned mansion. Lit lanterns, dangling from iron chains. And finally, a sign affixed to the gate reading: Servants And Solicitations Received Around Back. Following the arrow on the sign, Igorina dragged her trunk to a small door in a neighboring alley and knocked at a small white wooden door.
A bad end, I know. But I just wanted to get this chapter out and honestly could not think of a better end. Bear with me. And Review!