Stitches
As Emmett and I were struggling to keep Jasper from killing Bella, Carlisle took control of the situation. "Emmett, Rose, get Jasper outside." Carlisle thoughts were calm and in control of the situation.
Everyone except for Carlisle and Bella hasn't breathed since Bella sliced her figure, a half of a minute ago. Emmett was serious, "Come on, Jasper, let's go." I could feel Jasper's thoughts turning lucid, but he was still not in control of his instincts. He struggled against Emmett, but Emmett didn't falter. He was strong enough to hold Jasper, but not strong enough to move him. Edward, I can't move Jasper and keep in control. He warned me in his thoughts, since his air was depleted for speaking.
Oh, is Bella hurt. Poor mortal, maybe next time she'll know not to play with the supernatural. Rose thoughts were smug as she helped Emmett move Jasper. I would have replied to Rose if I wasn't focusing all my attention on keeping Bella safe from my family as well as trying not to kill her my self. Although I was not breathing, the initial memory of the scent of the blood from Bella's finger was enough to pour venom into my mouth. The monster brought up a memory of last spring in the ballet studio. The memory brought more venom in my mouth. I was so close to killing her. Only the memory of Bella lying in the hospital, so close to death, kept the monster down. I promised her I wouldn't put he in danger again. I failed.
Esme held the door open for Emmett, rose and Jasper. Her hand was covering her nose and mouth. Esme loved Bella, but it wasn't enough to crush her vampire instincts. I wish I could stay, but it's too much. "I'm so sorry, Bella." She was ashamed that she couldn't stay. Even my mother (for all intensive purposes) was a danger to Bella.
"Let me by, Edward."
Carlisle voice broke up my train of thoughts. He was the only one who was not a danger to Bella. I relaxed my protective stance around Bella and let Carlisle by. He knelt beside her. Bella's face was still frozen in shock. A minute ago we were all happy, now everything was changed. It was my fault; I shouldn't of let her into this danger.
Alice was still here to help. She was fighting her instincts but she was in control. "Here, Carlisle," she said handing him a towel.
This would be nothing if Bella didn't have glass in the wound. "Too much glass in the wound." She'll need more than just a bandage. Carlisle ripped the white tablecloth and wrapped it around Bella's arm to apply pressure. I could see that the blood was making Bella sick.
"Bella, do you want me to drive you to the hospital, or would you like me to take care of it here?"
"Here, please." I could tell that Bella didn't want Charlie to hear what happened. He was used to her coming home with bandages though, since she was a little clumsy.
"I'll get your bag." Alice said to Carlisle. As she ran out of the room she inhaled a breath of clean air.
"Let's take her to the kitchen table." Carlisle said to me. I lifted her easily and walked into the kitchen, while Carlisle was applying pressure to the wound. I wasn't breathing. "How are you doing, Bella?"
"I'm fine." She answered, her voice steady. It didn't reassure me. She would be better if she wasn't here at all.
Alice came back with Carlisle's black bag and lungs full of clean air. I set down Bella on a chair while Carlisle pulled another. He immediately went to work. I still hadn't taken a breath. Bella noticed.
"Just go, Edward."
"I can handle it," I said trying to reassure her and myself. It didn't work.
"You don't need to be a hero. Carlisle can fix me without your help. Get some fresh air." She winced as Carlisle began to clean the wound. I could not leave her when she's in pain.
"I'll stay."
"Why are you so masochistic?" I didn't have an answer, except that love makes people do crazy things.
Carlisle could see that I was in pain. He misinterpreted the kind of pain though. "Edward, you may as well go find Jasper before he goes to far. I'm sure he's upset with himself, and I doubt he'll listen to anyone but you right now." He was right. I wasn't angry with him, but he didn't think that.
"Yes, go find Jasper." Bella agreed. Only she would want to apologize to someone who almost killed her. And I'm the masochistic one.
You're no use to us when you're on the verge of killing her. She'll be fine. Go find Jasper. "You might as well do something useful," Alice added. My eyes narrowed, but I couldn't win this argument. I had no more air to use to talk anyway. Wordlessly, I ran out the back door to find Jasper.
***
I found him in the mountains. He had just brought down a dear and feed on it. He's thoughts were filled with self-doubt. As he heard me approach he got into a fighting stance.
I'm sorry about Bella, but I will fight you if you came to punish me. He had the wrong idea.
"I'm not here to punish you," I said aloud. His stance did not change. "This could have happened to anyone, Jazz."
"Anyone, ha! I'm the only one who has problems with this lifestyle. Its not like I want to kill. I feel the emotions of victims. It should help me and usually it does. But Bella wasn't scared she was just shocked. I should have been able to control myself but I couldn't. Her blood is sweet, Edward. I couldn't help it. It's better if I wasn't there, but I can't leave Alice and she won't leave you or the rest of the family. And you won't leave Bella."
"Jasper, I'm not blaming you for any of this. It is just a result of my reckless decision to let her into our life. It's my fault. I need to keep her safe and if that means my own discomfort then that's the price I will have to pay." I had an idea. I didn't like it but it was the only way to keep her safe.
"Why don't you make us all happy and turn her immortal like she wants? I like Bella and I can see that she's good for you. She is what Alice is to me. She completes you."
"Bella doesn't know the price of immortally and I won't put her in pain. Jasper you can't argue that this life isn't painful, and not just the transformation period."
Bella's right you are a masochist. "If you are planning to do what I think you are planning," I nodded, he thought right. "Edward, you better think this through. Don't underestimate Bella, you know better than anyone that she is far from a normal mortal."
"Don't worry, Jazz, I know what I'm doing." That seemed to reassure Jasper, but not myself somehow. I pushed back the feeling of uncertainty before Jasper could register it. "Let's get back to the house. The family is worried."
Jasper nodded and we ran back.
***
As we approached the house, we met Alice by the river. She and Jasper embraced. Their display of love made me feel lonely. But I wasn't going to sacrifice Bella for something as trivial as my happiness. Jasper was still blaming himself for the incident and decided not to come in the house. Just Alice and I walked to the house.
We could smell the bleach before we got in. Esme was cleaning up the mess. Good, it meant the air would be clean to breath. It's so tedious when you can't breath. As I walked in I saw Bella trying to help Esme clean. Bella looked so fragile. Her arm was covered in a white bandage and her shirt was soaked with blood. Alice ran to her side but I stayed back.
Alice could see that Bella's clothes were unsuitable in a house of vampires. "C'mon," she said to Bella, "I'll get you something less macabre to wear." As she changed I could hear the conversation Bella was having with Alice. She was whispering, but I could still hear it threw Alice's thoughts.
"How bad is it?" Bella asked.
"I'm not sure yet." Alice answered. Of course her vision was cloudy, I hadn't made up my mind on the plan yet.
Bella asked about Jasper. I was right, she wanted to reassure him that it wasn't his fault that he tried to kill her. It was mine, I'm sure.
I was waiting for Bella by the front door, wordlessly opening it for her as she approached me. She was about to walk out when Alice said, "Take your things! You can thank me later when you open them." However Alice's thoughts were unsettled. She knew Bella was going to like the presents, but she was unsure if Bella was going to thank her.
She said a quick goodnight to Esme and Carlisle. I could tell that they were worried about me, but they tried to hide their thoughts. We hurried (well, at human pace) to Bella's truck. I held the passenger door open for her. She climbed in without a complaint. That should have been the first sign that something was wrong. We drove into the night.
As I turned onto the freeway Bella turned to me and said, "Say something."
"What do you want me to say?" I asked. My voice sounded weird in my ears, like I was somehow detached from the world. Bella cringed at the sound.
"Tell me you forgive me"
WHAT? How could she blame herself for this? If she got a paper cut anywhere else she would not come as close to death as she did today. Why in the world did she thing this was in anyway her fault?
"Forgive you? For what?" I replied, my anger bringing life to my voice.
"If I'd been more careful, nothing would have happened."
"Bella, you gave yourself a paper cut. That hardly deserves the death penalty." Which she almost got.
"It's still my fault."
WHAT? Her words made me extremely angry and made me go on and tirade on how if she got a paper cut anywhere else nothing would have happened. Even if she tripped onto glass she still would have been better off at a mortal's house, like Mike Newton's. Apparently Bella didn't want to be with Mike, even if he is healthier for her.
"I'd rather die than be with Mike Newton. I'd rather die than be with anyone but you." She responded. I remembered Alice's vision of Bella dead. She would die if she stayed with me.
"Don't be melodramatic, please."
"Well then, don't you be ridiculous." I couldn't answer her. I decided to concentrate on my driving while not killing her truck. We drove the rest of the way in silence until we pulled up to her house.
"Will you stay tonight?" She asked.
"I should go home." I needed to plan the immediate future with my family and talk to Jasper.
"For my birthday." I could see she rally wanted me to stay, but I was no good for her.
"You can't have it both ways," I told her, "either you want people to ignore your birthday or you don't. One or the other." My voice was stern, but not too stern I decided to give what she wanted, well, one thing at least.
"Okay I decided I don't want you to ignore my birthday. I'll see you upstairs." She reached back towards the gifts my family got her.
"You don't have to take those"
"I want them," her answer surprised me.
"No you don't. Carlisle and Esme spent money on you."
"I'll live," she replied as she got out of the truck, awkwardly positioning the presents under her good arm. I could see that they weren't going to make it to her room in one piece.
"Let me carry them, at least." I had to do something to make her life easier. "I'll be in your room."
"Thanks"
"Happy Birthday." I said before kissing her. The kiss made me forget my problems for the moment, and I smiled before leaving her.
***
I was on her bed when Bella walked in. "Hi." I said.
"Hi, can I open my presents now?" She said as she laid down close to me. She was enthusiastic. I couldn't place why she was.
"Where did this enthusiasm come from?"
"You made me curious." She picked up the box from Carlisle and Esme. I unwrapped it for her, so no risk of another paper cut. "Are you sure I can handle the lid?" She asked as I gave her the box. Inside the box were two tickets to Jacksonville to visit Renee. After a minute she realized what it was.
"We're going to Jacksonville?" Of course she thought I was going too.
"That's the idea."
"I can't believe it. Renee is going to flip! You don't mind, though, do you? It's sunny, you'll have to stay inside all day."
Bella was really excited. I couldn't believe my eyes. So, she could be like a normal human every once in while.
"I think I can handle it. If I had any idea that you would respond to a gift in this appropriately I would have made you open it in front of Carlisle and Esme. I thought you'd complain."
"Well of course it's too much," same old Bella, "but I get to take you with me."
I laughed at her response. "Now I wish I'd spent money on your present. I didn't realize that you were capable of being reasonable." I unwrapped her present from me and gave it to her. It was the CD I made for her with all my piano arrangments on it.
"What is it?" She asked. Instead of telling her I put the CD in her CD player next to her bed. Her lullaby started playing. Tears began to for in her eyes.
"Does your arm hurt?" I asked. I didn't want her in pain.
"No, it's not my arm. It's beautiful, Edward. You couldn't have given me anything I would love more. I can't believe it."
"I didn't think you would have let me get a piano so I could play for you here." I was really considering the piano plan until Alice told me of how Bella would react. Also a piano would be easier for Charlie to hear.
"You're right." She replied.
"How does your arm feel?" I asked her.
"Just fine." I could tell she was lying. She was eyeing my hand suspiciously.
"I'll get you some Tylenol"
"I don't need anything," she protested as I got up out of her bed. "Charlie," she warned.
"He won't catch me." I said as I ran out of the room. I knew exactly where the Tylenol was, and I caught a glimpse of Charlie snoring on the couch while I fetched the pills and a glass of water for Bella. She took the pills without argument. She was really in pain.
"Its late," I said as I reached for Bella sliding her close to me. She leaned her head against my shoulder while her lullaby played.
"Thanks again."
"Your welcome."
Was it wrong for me to enjoy this? I loved having her near me, but I was bad for her. Another one of my songs began but I hardly noticed. I was too lost in my own thoughts.
"What are you thinking about?" she asked me.
I hesitated, deciding what to tell her. I went for a vague version of the truth. "I was thinking about right and wrong, actually."
"Remember how I decided that I wanted you not to ignore my birthday?" she asked me, trying to change the subject.
"Yes."
"Well, I was thinking, since it's still my birthday, that I'd like you to kiss me again."
"You're greedy tonight."
"Yes I am, but don't do anything you don't want to do."
I laughed. There wasn't anything I wanted to do more than kiss her passionately all the time. "Heaven forbid that I should do anything I don't want to do."
I began the kiss the same as others but I crossed some of the previous set boundaries. It was longer and more passionate that before. I wanted to remember this kiss more than others. I stopped it before Bella wanted it to end, and, to tell the truth, before I wanted it to end.
"Sorry, that was out of line," I said.
"I didn't mind," she replied. I knew that was the truth.
I frowned at her, "Try to sleep, Bella."
"No, I want you to kiss me again."
"You're overestimating my self control."
"Which is more tempting to you my blood or my body?"
"Its a tie." I said after a moment's hesitation. Because of the tie she was in danger and yet safe from me. "Now why don't you go to sleep?"
"Fine," she answered.
Before she drifted off, I could feel her wounded arm press against my cold body. She was really hurt.