The End Part 1: Plan
I was watching Bella sleep that night. She tossed and turned, never a good sign of a good night's sleep. She said my name 20 times in her sleep, a record. As she slept I thought about right and wrong.
I was sure it is not right for me to but Bella in danger. It was selfish. The only way to keep Bella safe was for her to be away from danger, namely me. I had to stay away from her to keep her safe. That much I was sure about.
What I wasn't sure about is if I could leave her. Every time I thought about leaving I felt as if I was slowly cutting my silent heart. I had to leave, though, to keep her heart beating. I didn't matter, only Bella did. If I was willing to kill myself for her then leaving for her shouldn't be a problem, right?
When she woke I could tell she was worried. I kissed her forehead before ducking out her window. I would see her at school. Right now I had to talk to my family, to tell them my plan.
Alice met me at our front door. "We are leaving," it was not a question, "I can see your mind is made up. I can't change that. But I want to know why."
"Why, Alice? I love her too much to put her in danger. We are a danger to her. Last night was proof of that. I can't stand it! Bella in danger drives me insane. Its either I leave her or she dies, its that simple."
"No its not, Edward. There is a third choice. You're just to stubborn to realize it." I didn't have to read her thoughts to get her meaning.
"I will never do that to her. I will not damn Bella to this half-life. She doesn't know anything about this life because she never experienced the pain of thirst. I know what's best for her. This is best for her!"
That's what you think. "But what is best for you?"
"I don't matter."
Alice couldn't argue with me. She knew I was immoveable on this plan. "You're going to have to explain why we have to move to the rest of the family," she said.
They assembled by our dinning room table (obviously a prop, we don't eat inside). "We are leaving Forks," I announced.
Rosalie was the first to speak out. "I knew this would happen. Why would you be so stupid to let yourself be drawn in with a mortal, Edward? Now I' going to have to start high school over again! I HATE STAYING IN THAT HELL HOLE FOR 7 HOURS A DAY, 180 DAYS A YEAR, 4 FREEKIN YEARS IN A ROW!"
That's 5040 hours, Emmett thought.
After I didn't respond to Rose's out burst Esme jumped in. "Rose that's unfair. Can't you see how this is hurting Edward. We WILL leave because Edward thinks this is best for Bella." Sorry I was listening to your conversation with Alice. I'm so sorry you have to go through this, son.
"I know what we can do." Carlisle said, "We still have that house by Ithaca. I built it back during the War of 1812. We could move there for a while. I could get a job locally and Cornell is around there so some of us could enroll. Rose you don't have to go back to high school. You and Emmett could go on that European honeymoon you always wanted."
We all agreed on the plan and moving preparations began immediately. Jasper went to get papers. I went to find Alice to straighten a few things out before school. But as usual she knew what I wanted to do before I got there.
That's unfair! "Why can't I say goodbye?"
"You need to stay for Jasper, to help, and to make a clean break. I don't want Bella to know until we have everything moved and settled. Carlisle can't quit until the last minute. Bella is going to think you are convincing Jasper to move to Denali. Please Alice, Bella needs a clean break. I need a clean break!"
Alice could hear the anguish in my voice. "Fine," she submitted. But I still don't like it.
I didn't respond to Alice. I didn't like it either.
I got in my Volvo and drove to school and to Bella.
I arrived to school before her, like always. I had to hide my intentions form her. I struggled to keep my face compose, though I think it might of betrayed me when Bella pulled up next to me.
I opened her car door for her. "How do you feel?" I asked.
"Perfect," She was lying to make me feel better. It just depressed me.
The morning was slow and silent. Bella looked like she was on the verge of asking something, but she always stopped herself before she could voice it.
A few minutes into lunch Bella asked me, "Where's Alice?" Of course she would notice hr absence.
"She's with Jasper," it wasn't a lie, not really.
"Is he okay?"
"He's gone away for a while." We all will be gone soon.
"What? Where?"
I couldn't lie to her. I would have to soon, but not now. Instead I stuck to a vague version of the truth. "Nowhere in particular."
"And Alice too." She knew wherever Jasper was Alice would be with him.
"Yes. She'll be gone for a while," more like forever, "She was trying to convince him to convince him to go to Denali." Lie.
Bella's eyes began to tear up. "Is your arm bothering you?" I asked. I sometimes forgot about physical pain, except for thirst, from time to time.
"Who care's about my stupid arm?"
I was making her mad. Good. If she's mad she won't hurt later, after.
The rest of the day was a blur. I could not talk to her my tongue might betray me if I did. I kept focusing on Bella's face when she didn't notice. I needed more memories. I walked her over to her truck, like always, "You'll come over later tonight?" she asked. I always came over that had to change.
"Later?" She didn't have anything after school.
"I have to work. I had to trade with Mrs. Newton to get yesterday off."
"Oh," in all this confusion I forgot how Alice had switched Bella's shifts. That was a first for me.
"So you'll come over when I'm home, though, right?"
"If you want me to."
"I always want you."
"All right then." I said. I wanted to scream. This is the hardest thing I had to do. I kissed her forehead trying to appear calm when inside I was a wreck. I went in my car and drove away. I needed to get away for a while to clear my head.
I drove my to my meadow. Usually this secluded spot was refreshing. I stood there listening to the sounds of the forest, trying to clear my head. All I could think of was when I brought Bella here the first time. It was the first time I declared my love for her. Instead of clearing my head it made me more depressed.
I decided to hunt. As I let my instincts drive my actions I left my mind behind. It calmed me. I found a mountain lion and brought it down in record time. I was calm enough to go back and see Bella.
She wasn't home when I pulled up. Charlie was. He answered the door. He's here again, like always. "Hi, Edward," he said, "Bella's not home yet, but she'll be soon. Come in and watch Sports Center with me." I would kick him out but, but that would make Bella upset.
I didn't have to wait long for Bella. A distinct sound of a prehistoric engine warned me of her arrival when she was still a half of a mile away. A minute later I herd her turn into the driveway.
"Dad? Edward?" she called as she walked into the house.
"In here," Charlie answered.
I focused on the mindless sports show, when Bella entered. "Hi," she said. She sounded off.
"Hey, Bella," Charlie answered, "We just had cold pizza. I think it's still on the table."
"Okay," she said. She waited in the doorway for me.
"I'll be right behind you," I said, but I didn't get up. Instead my eyes went back to the TV. I began an argument over collage football with Charlie. Although I never watched sports, men tackling each other never appealed to me, but I knew enough by listening to Emmett's thoughts to keep the conversation going.
Bella came back with her new camera and took a picture of Charlie and me. I didn't look away from the TV. Charlie was surprised, "What are you doing, Bella?" Charlie hated having his picture taken; I could hear that in his mind. I was curious too.
"Oh, come on. You know Mom will be calling soon to ask if I'm using my presents. I have to get to work before she can get her feelings hurt." Bella answered. I knew that that was an excuse for Charlie She had a plan, like me. But my plan was in action already, it wouldn't change.
"Why are you taking picture of me, though?" Charlie was still angry about being a subject of photo.
"Because you're so handsome. And because you bought the camera you're obligated to be one of my subjects." She was hiding something. What I wouldn't give to read her mind right now.
"Bull Shit," Charlie murmured too low for Bella to hear.
"Hey Edward, take one of me and my dad together."
She sat with Charlie. Bella's face was composed, but she wasn't smiling. She really was hiding something. "You need to smile, Bella." I reminded her.
Her smile was fake, but Charlie didn't notice, "Let me take one of you kids," he said. Bella went to stand next to me. I went formal with my pose, my hand was placed gently on Bella's shoulders. She wrapped her arm around my waist. I didn't look at her and she didn't look at me.
"Smile Bella," Charlie said. Something was wrong with her. She must be upset with me. If she hates me it will make it easier for her to accept my imminent departure. Charlie took the picture. "Enough pictures for tonight. You don't have to use the whole roll now." He said.
I twisted away from Bella and went to sit back down in the armchair. Bella sat on the couch. I could tell that neither of us watched TV, but we were both focused on whatever was on TV.
When it ended I decided that this day had been sufficiently awkward for the both of us. I stood up and said, "I'd better go home."
Charlie didn't even look up from the commercial, "See ya," and don't come back. He didn't know how right he was.
Bella got up and walked e to my car. "Will you stay?" She didn't sound right, I couldn't place what was wrong in her voice.
"Not tonight."
I got in my car and left Bella in the rain. I didn't look back as I speed away.
I helped with packing up for the move that night. I arrived distracted at school, but I wasn't the only one. Bella was spaced out during every class, even in English. Mr. Berty was surprised at Bella's lack of enthusiasm, bit I wasn't. She must be suspecting something to happen soon, but she had no idea what. I was sure of that.
We avoided eye contact the whole day. I knew my minutes were numbered with her, but I couldn't stand to look at her without getting that awful heartache sensation.
At lunch Bella brought out her camera and gave it to Jessica to take photos of everyone at our table. She agreed enthusiastically and took an embarrassing one of Mike. The table began to use the camera and many embarrassing photos and laughter resulted. The only people at our table that weren't laughing were Bella and I.
I knew now why Bella was so enthusiastic to take pictures and scrapbook it. She must have guessed that we were leaving, and that she was leaving with us. This was going to present a problem for me, when the time came.
I didn't visit her after work. I didn't even call. I felt horrible, but this was the right thing to do.
We were packed and ready to go by midnight. Carlisle had bought a moving van and it was packed with most of our things. Some things stayed in the house to make it appear inhabited. Everyone one was getting ready to leave. That is everyone but Carlisle and I.
It was two in the morning when I said goodbye to Alice and the rest. It was a somber moment. They were all thinking about what I had to do later. The one thing I didn't want to think about. Before she left Alice and I had a private conversation.
"Are you sure Edward?" Alice asked.
"Of course I'm sure. Look at the clarity of your vision."
"Its not like I can stop it, I just want to know how you're going to handle it?" and how she will too?
"Alice, that's none of you business," I know that was mean, but I wasn't in the best mood at the moment, "and don't look into the future for her, Alice. We have to leave her completely. A clean break, remember."
"Okay, Edward," she could see that there arguing with me would go no where. "I'll see you in New York."
"Bye for now, Alice." She drove off leaving me in the empty house with Carlisle.
"This reminds me of the good old days," Carlisle said with a nervous chuckle.
"Yeah," I wasn't in the mood to talk.
"Edward, you know I'll support you with what ever decision you make, but I can't stand to see you like this." In so much mental anguish. Carlisle said.
"I'll be fine, Carlisle," I said trying to convince myself as well as Carlisle, "I just need time and distractions." It was silent until we both had to leave. Carlisle was heading to the hospital to tell them that he was taking a job in LA and that he would be leaving immediately for California. I left for my last day at Forks high with Bella.
The day was long and awkward like the day before. As I walked Bella to her truck I asked, "Do you mind if I come over today?" My voice lacked emotion.
"Of course not."
"Now?" There might have been a hint of urgency in my voice. I wanted to get this over with.
"Sure, I was going to drop a letter for Renee in the mailbox on the way. I'll meet you there," she said. I saw a fat envelope addressed to Renee. The pictures from the last two days were in there. Bella could not have reminders of vampires with her. I had to get those pictures.
I grabbed the envelope, "I'll do it, and I'll still beat you there." I tried to smile but it didn't work.
"Okay." Bella said before driving away. I rushed to my Volvo. I carefully opened the envelope and took out the pictures of me. Then I went and mailed the letter for Renee and drove to Bella's house. I did beat her home.
I parked in Charlie's spot, a clear sign that I wasn't staying. As Bella got out of her truck, I took her backpack and threw it pack in the truck. It was time for the last and hardest part of my plan.
"Come for a walk with me." I told her.