BUt yeaa, moving on. I know some of you are disappointed that Brucas is back.And i also know i told you guys earlier that Brucas was gonna end soon, but when i thought about it, LUcas kinda needed to be around for awhile. I know that in the show, everyone's acting like they never happened, like they never had anything real. But to me i tihnk they did, so that's how im gonna roll with it. I wanted to kinda make Lucas feel how Brooke felt in the show, like Lucas wasn't needed because Brooke had Kyle and all. To tell you the truth i wasn't really planning on it, but when i read through the chapters, i realized that it was alot like the love triangle in OTH lol. Go figure.
So Brooke is going crazy!! lol. Lucas just left her house, after they had decided to try again, and BRooke believed him this time. And i have to say, he is telling the truth. Lucas is not gonna do anything that would jeopradize their relationship anymore. Which is a big big problem, because Brooke has feelings for two guys, and she can't process it at all. For the next couple of chapters she's gonna be going crazy, bi polar if you will lol. The girl's just so confused right now, she can't tell left from right anymore. I guess love does that to ya lol.
As for Kyle, well, he's gonna get a front row seat if you know what i mean. And if you don't, then you'll know soon enough. The mob thing is taking it's toll on him real bad, he just wants to get ou tas soon as he can, but things change, and so does his decision. Umm i was thinking about bringing Ally back in the story, kinda spice things up even more. But im not sure, so i need all of your opinions on it. IF i bring Ally back in, then there's a possibilty that there'll be a Kylly lol or something like it.
ENJOY AND REVIEW!!!!!
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"Damn," Rachel muttered.
"I know," Brooke replied grumpily.
The two girls had been up most of the night, talking about what had happened. Brooke had replayed the night to Rachel, who in turn slapped her upside the head. They had been on their sixth tub of Ben and Jerry's, which kept them up most of the night.
"So the bottom line is, you're back with Lucas, you love each otehr and all that crap, but at the same time, you're harboring feelings for Kyle?" Rachel asked.
"YOu're right on the money. Gosh, how did i get in this mess?" Brooke asked herself as she got up and headed to the bathroom.
"I can't tell you why, all i can say is that you're screwed. Brooke you can't get back with Lucas and expect Kyle to be okay with it. Yes, he did tell you he couldn't be with you, but it wasn't like he didn't want to," Rachel explained as she hopped in the shower.
"I know i know. But he wanted me to move on, so i guess this is my way of doing it," Brooke said sadly.
"Well, if that's your way of doing it, then some people are gonna get hurt."
"That's what i'm afraid of. I mean, yeaa i love Lucas, we've been through alot. And with Kyle, i've known him forever, and he knows me more than i know myself."
"You've got a big decision to make," Rachel commented as she got out of the shower.
"Ya think," Brooke said sarcastically.
"Look, you're with Lucas now, that's what you apparently wanted, so be with Lucas. But just so you know, we have school today, and Kyle is eventually gonna see you two together, and i don't think he's gonna take it nicely."
"I KNOW he's not gonna take it nicely," Brooke muttered as she got in the shower.
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Kyle was back to those sleepless nights again. He thought once he was true to himself, maybe they would go away. And they had, for awhile, but now they had come back with a vengeance, and he couldn't sleep at all now. Which was exactly why he was at school already, a whole hour before the bell even rang.
Yesterday had been a whirlwind of emotions. He couldn't decide what to do. Do what's right, or do what you want. To any other teenage boy, it would be go after what you want, especially if you wanted Brooke Davis. But KYle wasn't just any teenage boy, so he had to do things a little bit different. He oculdnn't be selflish.
Ever sinec he came to Tree Hill, nothing had been going good for him. Just when he thoght things would ge tbetter, something else would happen, and he would be right back where he started. But throughout all of that, he knew he would always have Brooke. She would always know what to say to make him feel better. It would always make things a little bit easier for him. BUt he had managed to throw that away too.
On the court, Kyle always took chances. He drove to the hoop with a '6"9 guy right in front of him. He shot from outside the paint when he was double teamed, sometimes triple teamed. Everytime, he took chances. He wasn't always sure he would make them, sometimes he didnt, but he went for it anyway. If he could do that on the court, then why couldn't he do that in his life?
He needed to have a serious talk with his uncle. Kyle didn't wanna do this anymore. He thoght he did, but it wasn't the life he wanted for himself. He wanted to go to college, and play on a team. He wanted to be drafted to the NBA, and make millions, and still be happy at the end of the day. And he wanted to be with Brooke, above all things. He wanted to have a life with her, maybe even get married and start a family. Kyle wanted all of that. But unless he was still in this business, he couldn't do that.
His life really sucked at that moment. He couldn't sleep, he couldn't eat, and once again he was in that place. All he felt was anger at himself, and anger at everything that was in his way. His eyes were glazed over, and if he could see himself, he would say he had bags under his eyes, but he could be too sure because he had got up this morning, not even bothering to look at himself in the mirrior. He had thrown on some jeans and his white K Swisses, with a black shirt. It was cold this morning, which was odd since it was spring, but he threw on his red Abercrombie hoodie. Kyle didn't wanna bother doing his hair, so he just put on a white baseball cap backwards on his head. He grabbed his backpack and left, not even bothering to let his dad know. He was supposed to be cleared to drive the next day, but he just needed to get out, and driving felt fine to him.
Kyle wasn't really looking forward to going to school, he wasn't even up for sitting in class. To him there wasn't a point, he wasn't gonna pay attention. People were already starting to arrive, which meant so was Brooke. As much as he wanted to see her, he didn't becaus that would just hurt him more. He didn't want Nathan or Haley to come up to him, because frankly, he didn't wanna talk to anybody.
BUt nothing Kyle wanted was easy, because there they were, heading towards him.
"Man, you look like ass," Nathan commented as they sat down.
"Thanks Nate. How can you tell?" KYle asked sarcastically, and offered a smile to Haley.
"Well first of all, your eyes are glazed over, and if you look closely, i can see tiny bags under your eyes," Nathan explained.
Kyle raised his eyebrows, "And why are you staring at my eyes anyway?"
Haley laughed, "Alright guys, i've had too much. I have to go to the tutor center, see ya."
"Don't overdo it Hales," Nathan warned as Haley waved him off.
"So, are you gonna tel lme what's really wrong?" Nathan asked.
KYle sighed, "Brooke and i are over. Like really over. There's no chance."
"Don't say that, there's always a chance. What happened anyway?"
"Yesterday, we kidna ended up in the janitor's closet again. Then i realized that she was still with Lucas, and i called her out on it. WE said some things, and it had some finality to it, like we both knew it was over somehow."
"Do you think it's over?"
"I can't help but think that. I can't keep doing this to her, it's not right. We can't be anything and i keep on leading her on i guess. I'm not gonna do that anymore," Kyle explained.
"That's pretty selfless. Are you sure you can do that?" Nathan asked.
"I'm gonna have to try," Kyle sighed.
"Well this would be a good time to," Nathan said quietly.
"Why?"
"Because she's here."
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"Nervous?" Rachel asked as they pulled into the parking lot.
"Somewhat .. kinda .. okay yeaa," Brooke admitted as she tugged on her jean jacket.
"Good, i would be surprised if you werent. Is Lucas waiting for you?"
"I'm not sure, but i'm guessing he is. That's what couples do," Brooke said as they got out of the car.
"I wouldn't know," Rachel joked, trying to lighten the mood.
They both got out of the car and pulled their jackets closer. The weather was randomly cold this morning. Everything was the same it seemed. Nothing had really changed. Everyone was still hanging out with the same people, doing the same things. But to Brooke, things had changed drastically, an dshe wasn't sure if she would like it.
"Brooke!" a voice called out. Brooke turned around and saw Lucas jogging towards them. He had a smile on his face, which caused Brooke to smile a little also.
"Hey," Brooke greeted as Lucas caught up to them. He kissed her cheek and then put his arm around her shoulders. At first it was awkward and weird, but somehow she had found comfort in the gesture. She would need it.
"I guess it is the coupley thing to do. I'll see ya Brooke," Rachel said as she walked away from them.
"So, how are you?" LUcas asked as they made their way to the courtyard.
"Pretty good. It's cold today though," BRooke said.
"I know, i was surprised. The weather doesn't really reflect how i feel today," Lucas smiled.
Brooke smiled weakly, "Me neither."
Another lie, another secret. When would this stop?
In truth, the coldness completely reflected how she was feeling. She was gloomy, transparent, and she wanted to curl up in a ball. But no, Rachel had trapped her into coming to school, the last place she wanted to be. One reason because she didn't wanna sit thoruhg class. The other reason being she didn't want to have to see Kyle's reaction when he saw her and Lucas together.
But, luck was never on her side.
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"Are you seeing what i'm seeing?" Nathan asked as him and KYle watched Brooke and Lucas attached to the hip.
"I'm trying not to," Kyle mumbled as he looked away.
"I thought they were gonna be over soon," Nathan said disbelievingly.
"Looks like they're far from over," Kyle said as he got up. Insdie he couldn't believe it. LUcas, of all people. The guy that had hurt Brooke way too many times for anyone to count. It just didn't make sense to him. The day before they were on the brink of breaking up, they hadn't even talked in 24 hours. And now, they were all happy and smiling at each other, like nothing ever happened, like Kyle never happened. Sadness was immediate replaced by anger. He wasn't gonna act like he was heartbroken over it, he just preferred to act like he didn't care.
"Dude, where are you going?"
"In the hallway. I'm not gonna watch this," Kyle said.
"Alright, i'll come with you," Nathan said as he got up and slung his bag over his shoulder.
"Wait, you do you we're gonna have to pass them right?" Nathna asked.
"Yeaa i know. But, i'm not gonna care," Kyle sighed.
"But you do care," Nathan pointed out.
"Yea, but i'm not gonna let her know that. If she wants to be with him, then i'm not gonna act like i'm gonna kill myself now. She made a deicison, and i'm gonna have to live iwht it," Kyle explained. He kept his eyes focused on the door as he walked past Brooke and Lucas. He felt her eyes on him, but he didn't react at all. He was nonreactant and he was gonna be that way until that pain in his chest went away.
"Wow, i never saw that coming," Peyton said as she walked up to them.
"You're not the only one," Nathan commented.
She smiled and turned to Kyle, "Are you okay with this?"
Kyle scoffed, "I guess i have to be."
"If it makes you feel better, i think she's stupid," Peyton said.
Kyle smiled, "Yeaa it helps a little. A teeny microsopic help, but it helps."
"Man, Haley is gonna have a field day over this," Nathan joked as they walked to English.
"Good, she better because Brooke needs someone to knock her over the head," PEyton laughed as they all sat down.
A few second later Brooke nad Lucas walked in, holding hands. Kyle quickly opened his book and began to read something he didn't udnerstand. As Brooke sat down, he caught a whiff of her hair, again. Normally this would've made him go crazy, but it just annoyed him now. He would do anything to move seats.
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Halfway through class. and Kyle still couldn't sleep. It was like, whenever he set his head down, he was five inches closer to Brooke's hair. He just coudln't concentrate anymore, he was tired, and he was just so over all the drama. He didn't wanna deal with it anymore, but that wasn't an option for him at the moment.
Things were too scattered in his brain, he couldn't make sense of them anymore. Everything was jumbled in his brain, and his emotions were everywhere in his heart. He didn't know if he should be mad, or sad, or what. If he should go after her, make her see that he couldn't be with Lucas. Or if he hsould let her go, and he just move on and take on the business like he had planned. Everyone was telling him that it wasn't right that Brooke was with Lucas, that she should be with him, but he wasn't sure about that. Not only was it dangerous, but he just felt like he would be more into it than she was. He didn't like thinking about it, but he thought that he loved her more than she did. To him, if she loved him like he did, then she wouldn't be with Lucas right now. She would be just a miserable as he was right now.
The thought made him sad and angry, but he couldn't help but think. She was smiling, laughing, she looked happy. Kyle was miserable, he didn't smile completely, and he wasn't as talkative as he usually was. He felt alone, like he was alone in his love for her. It was pathetic, but that's what he was. If he didn't know any better, he could've sworn he felt his eyes sting.
He quickly raised his hand.
"Yes, Kyle?" Mr. Garner asked.
"Can i go to the restroom?" Kyle asked.
"Make it quick," he said before returning to the lesson.
Kyle got up quickly and left the room. He jogged outside and stopped in the middle of the quad. He breathed a heavy sigh and rubbed the back of his neck. There was no easier way to get through this, or to move on. Kyle was exhausted, not only physically, but emotionally. So many things had happened to him the past couple of months, he would've thouht he was in a tv show or something. BUt that wasn't the case. Things were rough all over, and he was sure that they would stay that way for awhile. Thinking back to the moment Nathan had called him, he thought he shouldn't hav come, it would've saved him all this pain and confusion. He was done acting like he had done good in this town. So far he had done nothing but hurt the person that meant the most to him.
"Hi," a voice said quietly behind him. Kyle held his breath for a second.
"Garner sent you to get me?" Kyle asked, even though he knew the answer.
"No, i think you know that," she teased.
"So, what are you doing here?" Kyle shrugged, his back still facing her.
"Kyle don't be like that--"
"Be like what Brooke?!?! Huh?" Kyle snapped.
"Like you hate me or something. KYle, you were the one who didn't want me," Brooke said cautiously.
Kyle laughed bitterly, "Yeaa Brooke, i didn't want you. I only told you that so i could get a laugh in."
"Okay i know you might be mad, but you have no right to be. YOu said we couldn't be together, so i'm with Lucas now. You're just gonna have to deal with it," BRooke said harshly.
"What do you think i'm doing now? I was trying to deal with ti, but here you come, acting like you didn't do anything wrong. Like i never meant anything to you, i thoughti did, but now i'm serious reconsidering that," KYle said, and was met with a slap to the cheek. It burned like hell, but it was better on his cheek than it was in his heart.
"How dare you say that you never meant anything to me!!! Kyle i love you soo much but you said that you couldn't be with me. So what the hell am i supposed to do?!" Brooke yelled, tears streaming down her face.
"What are you supposed to do? You're supposed to be sad, miserable, kinda like i am right now. And what are you doing? You're with Lucas, acting like he's your everything, that you're in love with him! And you have the nerve to tell me that i was the one that didn't want you! Brooke from where i'm standing right now, it seems like you didn't want me. So what am i supposed to believe? Nothing's making sense to me anymore, and im seriously over all this. I told you from the beginning that it wasn't safe, but you kept on coming back, to the point where i'm mierable right now without you! Yes, i told you that we couldn't be together, and i thought you understood why. And here you go turning it around, saying that i didn't want you. Brooke i can't sleep! Because everytime i close my eyes i get the same dream over and over again. That me and you are together and happy. We're walking out of a fancy restaurant when a black car drives by and shoots you senseless! I can't pretend like it's just a dream, because it could very easily become a reality. I'm not gonna risk that and you shouldn't either. So go be with Lucas, let him make you happy, but don't tell yourself that i didn't love you because no one's gonna love you as much as i do."
Alright, he wasn't planning on telling her all those things, but once he got started, he oculdn't stop at that point. There were so many things wanted to tell her, but it seemed like he couldn't say all of them because that would leave him with nothing else.
But he was absolutely certain that no one would ever love her as much as he did. Even right now, as he was walking away from her, he knew no one would ever feel that way.
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For the second time in 24 hours, Brooke was once again speechless. She had no idea what to say, once again.
She had never seen him like this before. Kyle was always so kidnahearted, didn't talk that much, and he didn't really yell. In fact, she hadn't heard him this angry or hurt in all the years she's known him. It wasn't like him, it wasn't Kyle and Brooke blamed herself for that.
Brooke knew that KYle really did want her, wanted to be with her. But once again, she wanted to spite him, try to justify her being with Lucas. There wasn't really a reason for her being with LUcas, other than the fact that she loved him also. For the first time Kyle had laid everything down to her, how he felt, things that she never expected.
His dream really scared her. Yea, she thought there were risks, but she didn't think that they would be that horrific, but apparently they could be. Kyle couldnt sleep because of them, because of her. That would explai nthe bags under his eyes. The boy looked as miserable as he said. And for that Brooke felt bad. He was right about her acting like nothing happened, looks like she succeeded in that department. In her head she just wanted to curl up in a ball adn weep for hours. From where she was standing also, it looked like she didn't want him at all, which was far from the truth. But she wanted two people, and she didn't know what to do.
But in the tone of his voice, she believed him. SHe believed that no one would lov eher like he did. Brooke had seen first hand just how strongly he felt for her.
She believed two guys. Brooke believed that Lucas was in love with her, and that he wouldn't hurt her again. And she believed Kyle, who was absoluetely hurting right now, and would love her more than anyone. Both guys seemed promising, but her heart was split in two.
Brooke had to figure out which guy she wanted. But they had to be in her heart, and her heart only. So for as long as it took, she would figur eout which guy was in her head, and which one was in her heart. Which meant she would have to analyze every single deep conversation she's had with both guys, trying to decipher every single time she had felt hurt by either of them. Brooke had to serperate every good time spent with Lucas and Kyle. It was a tough task, but it had to be done. Maybe if she figured it out, she could stop feeling miserable and breathe again.