That flooring was more than just metaphorical. Spock had to grab my arm to keep me from falling. As he steadied me, I could feel his worry. It was bad enough that Jim was hurting. He didn't want me in pain too.

But I couldn't just tell him that I was okay. Because I wasn't. In fact, I was in so much pain that all I could do was stare at Jim in shock. "For God's sake, man, don't you trust us?" I exclaimed after a minute.

In those words was a wealth of hurt. I was his best friend, for God's sake, and now his...spouse. How could he not tell me how he was feeling? How could he not tell either of us?

I glared at him, covering my pain with anger.

Then Jim had that deer in the lights look that I was sporting earlier. He was silent, afraid to say a word.

I sighed. I couldn't blame him. Part of me knew this wasn't about me. It wasn't about Spock. It was about how life had been so fucking unfair to Jim for the majority of his life.

So I took a deep breath to calm down, then before Spock could start digging around in Jim's head, I decided Jim needed a gentle push. "What's got you spooked? Am I that scary?" I put a smile in my voice, hoping to calm him and keep him here. Because he looked like he was ready to bolt for the door.

Now I knew how they had felt when I was on the run. It was a jittery, panicked sensation. It made you want to clutch the person in question to your chest and never let go.

As I watched, Jim started shivering, but otherwise he didn't respond. The bond was quiet as Spock and I waited for any sign of acceptance or rejection, but there was nothing.

"Damnit, man," I grumbled, pulling up a chair next to him. "Snap out of it. We're not going to hurt you."

Finally, Jim seemed to wake up and responded to us with a shake of his head. "It's not you, it's me," he whispered, his eyes downcast.

"You?" I exclaimed worriedly. In my gut, I knew what he was referring to. But he had never let his past beat him to the ground before. Why now?

Because his relationships were the one thing Jim Kirk couldn't bluff his way through. And that fact scared him to death.

Spock had been letting me handle it up to this point. Although he was officially married to Jim, I had been friends with him longer and knew how to handle his moods better. But as Jim broke down and finally let us in, Spock came closer to us to listen and support both of us.

"I screwed it up before...and now the bond's telling me..." Jim's shivering became violent as he tried to keep his thoughts hidden. But the bond was now straining against him instead of helping him, and his thoughts were leaking through his shield. We no longer felt comfortable letting him be and our connection responded accordingly.

I, for one, had had enough. Jim had let us all suffer rather than let us help him face his past. It was Jim's fears that were controlling all this and it was time they stopped.

"What are you so scared of?" I whispered as I took his hands tightly in mine. Letting him know I wanted to help, and that I was not about to let him say 'no'.

He got the message. With a sigh, my friend and love started talking. "I could ruin that connection that has grown between you and Spock," Jim said, his eyes downcast. "You two just seemed to...magically fit together when your part of the bond connected."

"That's exactly how it looked to me when you married Spock," I whispered back, empathizing with his feelings. "You two looked so perfect together."

Jim raised his head in shock. "It wasn't perfect. We argued practically from the first day."

"I agree. Our bond was not perfect," Spock said softly, speaking for the first time since Jim's shield broke. "And neither is my connection with Leonard."

Spock always did choose his words carefully, and this time was no exception. He, too, made it clear to Jim that he wasn't letting Jim evade us again. When he got that stubborn stiff back stance, you knew he was as immovable as a damned mountain.

Jim, however, was not at his most observant. "But..." he protested.

Enough already! I grabbed at Jim's's shoulders to shake him. This time, the bond did try to push me back. Damn. Jim was feeling threatened.

I took a deep breath. The only way to get through to him when he was like this was to slap some sense into him. Figuratively. A literal slap would get my hand broken by him, or the Vulcan who was now guarding us both obsessively.

"Stop it!" I growled at Jim. "This isn't a two-way bond, so quit acting like we want you to leave."

"I'm not--" he argued. I could practically hear the wheels in his head turning. He was sure he was right to back away.

It was my job to convince him he had lost that brilliant but unconventional mind of his. "You are. We want you right where you are. If you leave, expect to be chased until the end of your days."

"I just can't disturb what you have with Spock." Jim shook his head.

Annoyed at the kid, I looked at Spock and told him through our part of the bond that we had to break this stalemate, or Jim would stay at arm's length forever. He was that stubborn and we both knew it.

'We are indeed agreed in that regard,' Spock sent back to me, amused despite the gravity of the situation. 'What do you propose?'

'Lock the door, then be prepared to yank us apart and unlock the door in a hurry if my plan works,' I told Spock cryptically.

But Spock must have learned a lot about my mind in the past two months. He knew in an instant that I had seduction on my mind. So he suggested, 'Would it not be better to go back to our cabin first?'

'And have him put his guard back up completely? No. Trust me.' I ran my hand down the Vulcan's arm and was happy to feel him relax slightly.

'I trust you. With my life...and Jim's.' Spock's hand covered mine and squeezed gently.

I nodded, with my eyes tearing slightly. I was such a sap for both of them. It was a good thing, too, or I'd have let Jim screw this up. If I hadn't been so enamored of both of them, I would have let Jim back away and would have missed something wonderful.

Hell, even I knew our bond wasn't perfect, but it was ours. And we deserved a chance to make it right for all of us.

So I grabbed Jim's head and kissed him with all the finesse I could muster. I ignored the warning bells and the pain the bond was shooting at me as my mental self ended up bouncing against Jim's shield.

I also had to ignore Jim trying to push me away in the physical world. That was hard, as I needed to keep a firm grip on him. In the end, I knew I'd have to heal some bruises the next day. I didn't want to hurt him, but I knew trying to talk him through this was useless. I needed to show him.

*We* needed to show him.

I knew instinctively that Spock was doing his part. But in my state of concentration on Jim, all I could tell was that Spock was talking into the comm on the desk. In the next instant, though, anything he was saying became white noise as I felt Jim started to give in to me. He put his arms around me with a soft moan.

Then Spock was there, guiding us, moving us. I shivered as he touched me, but didn't break my liplock with Jim. I knew Spock wanted me to continue. He found it necessary...and arousing.

I dimly felt Jim stand and could hear Spock slide up against his back. Then something made me tingle all over...and we were in our cabin.

'Bastard,' I sent along the bond, chuckling in my head as I realized what he had done.

'It was the most expedient option, and as Mr. Scott finds it much easier to do a site-to-site transport within a spaceship rather than between it and a planet, I decided our situation warranted his expertise.' Spock sent his amusement back at me. That must have been some conversation that I tuned out.

'I'm not complaining,' I sent as I broke the kiss and gazed into Jim's lust-filled eyes. 'But next time, warn me.'

But even as I scolded Spock, my focus was still mostly on Jim. I caressed his face gently. "Shh, I have you," I whispered, trying to soothe his fears and keep his arousal up at the same time.

Just then, Jim seemed to gain some of his faculties. Some of his logic finally kicked in, and he started to realize what was going on. "You...want me?"

Stifling another urge to slap some sense into him, I growled, "Of course we do. Isn't this what all of this was about, the *three* of us?"

"I never thought that it would really happen---" In that moment, I saw the little boy he had told me about once, the boy who got berated by his stepfather for everything he did and told he'd never amount to anything.

God, I hated fighting that man as much as I knew Jim hated fighting Jocelyn. Well, he won the war with my ex-wife. It was time for me to bring out the big guns and put this war to rest too.

"The list of things Frank Conners said you'd never do just got torn to shreds, if it survived your warpspeed promotions and you successfully saving the galaxy. You now have not one, but two beings who love you enough to 'put up with your shit', as that bastard so colorfully put it. In fact, we don't want you to change. Your 'shit' has kept us alive, among other things." I smiled, then kissed Jim softly.

As I was giving Conners the mental boot to the rear, Spock kissed Jim's neck and whispered, "Indeed. This relationship is not complete without you. Your stepfather could not comprehend the ways we need you. Even I cannot. I surmise that we have not discovered many of them yet."

To make sure Jim got the point, we bombarded his shield gently with memories. From Spock there were remembrances of chess games, arguments that ended with a quirked eyebrow and a laugh, and a human hand on a Vulcan shoulder--where only two people's hands are allowed to be and are joyously received. From me came the times I raged over Jocelyn to him, the times we got drunk together so I wouldn't feel bad about spouting my problems, and the arousal I hid every time we ended up in the Academy pool.

That last one shocked him. I guess I had hid it better than I had thought at the time.

But I just rolled my eyes. "*Everyone* finds your body attractive, Jim. We just happen to be in love with your mind too."

"We realize that there are very few who are allowed to see it in its true form. We are honored you trust us to see both your briliance and your doubts." I watched as Spock ran his hands down Jim's chest and Jim arched into the touch. The sight made me moan.

Hell, Spock could play both of us like we were that damned harp-thing of his. I was hard in an instant and I was only watching.

But it was what happened next that blew me away.

Jim opened his eyes, and staring right at me with those intense blue eyes of his, let down the shields isolating him in the bond. His emotions flowed freely. Spock and I accepted them gratefully, the good and the bad.

The fear wasn't gone, but it was definitely lessened. Now, the overwhelming feeling in him was awe. He had not only managed to snag the most gorgeous Vulcan in the galaxy, with the biggest brain and the best personality he had ever seen in the logical beings. No, he had also snagged his best friend, the man he couldn't do without. His gorgeous, compassionate, loving best friend.

"Remind me to give you a psych scan when we're done," I murmured, embarrassed by his flattering thoughts.

Jim just laughed softly and held out his hand. He knew now how stupid he had been, and in true Kirk fashion, apologized and changed course. That part of our lives was over. He was ready to accept whatever the bond threw at him because we would all do it together.

I smiled and took his hand, squeezing it gently before leaning in further for a kiss. His easygoing nature was infectious. So how could I not forgive him for the aggravation of the last two months? He loved us. That was all that mattered.

I wasn't the only one who forgave Jim everything. When we pulled back, I found Spock watching us with a gentleness in his eyes. He also sent Jim his forgiveness, so I moved so I could kiss him too. Then I watched avidly as Jim and Spock locked lips.

As I took in that impressive view, I felt the bond shift between us, as if it needed to align itself. It seemed to grow and shrink in different spots as the kiss continued to heat up. Then, as they broke apart, it seemed to settle. In my mind's eye, I now saw a perfect equilateral triangle that seemed to be shrinking as I watched.

The whole thing startled me. I didn't expect the damned thing to be adjustable. It puzzled me so much that my reaction made my mates break apart and engulf me in a hug. "It's okay," Jim soothed, running his hands over my shoulders.

"The bond is merely compensating to achieve the physical and mental closeness we desire," Spock explained as I felt his cheek slide comfortingly along my hair.

"And that we all want to be equal here and now," Jim whispered, giving me that gentle smile that meant he was sincere. No acting, no artifice, just him.

By now, the bond had finished its adjustment. It was beautiful. It practically glowed from each link. Flowing with the feelings from each of us, it was like I was looking at a constant, self-contained stream of love.

"Okay, enough admiring our creation. Let's add to it," Jim murmured, yanking me back to physical reality. "It is gorgeous, I'll admit. But it's even more impressive when making love. With the three of us..."

Yeah, in the next instant, I began to see his point. When he kissed me, I nearly fainted from the pleasure the bond was giving me. And that was before Spock decided he needed to undress me and run his sensitive hands over every inch of my skin.

When I came down from that high (at least slightly), I noticed they had stripped while I was busy examining our connection. It made me sigh contentedly. They knew me so well, They had indulged my need to make sure everything was okay before I lost my head. Hell, it was a given that I was going to lose my head.

My bondmates didn't disappoint me.

Jim lead me to bed, a bed I had been sharing with Spock since Jim had isolated himself. I had felt rather uncomfortable doing it because I had believed I had pushed Jim out of his place in it.

That was no longer the case. We came together in that bed as if we had been doing it for years instead of for the first time. The bond made it so goddamn easy. *Now* I knew what Spock's ramblings about balance were all about.

Because, as strange as it was, I was able to split my attention equally between the two of them almost constantly. When I kissed Jim, my mind was in contact with Spock. When I learned more of that enticing green flesh of Spock's, my essence cradled Jim's...or he held mine.

The beginning for us was all about exploring. It was a long, slow exploration of each other's bodies and minds. We were so focused, so entranced with each other, that Jim and I protested loudly when Spock pulled us apart after awhile so we could eat something. Our stomachs were growling loud enough to be heard across the room, but we didn't care. Neither did we care that we hadn't orgasmed once, not in four hours.

Of course, we rectified that after we had dinner.

Once we filled our stomachs, our questing hands and minds became agents of pleasure. Spock used his knowledge of both of us to take us to the brink--simultaneously. Then with a wicked grin and a well-placed hand, Jim tipped me right over it. Of course, I had to take him along for the ride with a 'flick' of my mind.

I had to laugh. He was shocked to find that I knew how to use the bond for pleasure. He must have forgotten that I had just spent two months under Spock's tutelage. Hell, Jim wasn't the only quick learner among us.

Nor was the Vulcan long without joining us on the other side of pleasure. Spock didn't expect us to double-team him about two seconds after we recovered. That shocked look of his was the second best thing I saw on his face that night. It was only beaten by the soft smile he graced us with after he recovered his faculties from a mindbending orgasm (which he nearly fainted from, I am proud to say) to find himself sandwiched tightly between us.

Life might not be fair, but if you play your cards right, you can end up with the winning hand.

Once we had all sorted out our problems, our life together just kept getting better. We were happy together in our cabin. We were content to be around each other while on duty. But it wasn't until about two weeks later that I knew we had hit the jackpot.

We had made a stop at Spacedock to meet with a few admirals about a 'sensitive issue'. Hell, we had been ordered home, and not even Jim knew why. But we suspected that we were going to catch hell for getting involved in a relationship that we could not have possibly stopped.

But we were looking in the wrong place for our explanation. We should have been watching Uhura. Jim said afterwards that she seemed a little shifty.

We didn't know how shifty until Admiral Pike called us into a conference room almost immediately after we docked. A very oddly decorated conference room.

First, it was dark instead of brightly lit with the industrial LEDs Starfleet is so fond of. Then, when a movement out of the corner of my eye made me look up, I found that braided cloths were draped from the ceiling, all in the same shades of gold, sapphire and emerald. Spock and Jim followed my gaze and gasped softly.

As we stared up, Spock took each of our hands. I think when he saw those braids, he knew what was going on, because he called out softly, "Kun-ut kalifarr."

In the shadows, a female voice called back in Vulcan. The only word I understood was plathau, union. Then she translated. "We have come seeking you who have created a union. Is the bond complete?"

"Yes." Jim said softly. There was a confidence in his voice that I didn't expect. But he had done this before. I didn't remember the ceremony for the two of them starting this way but I had been so lost in my grief that I wouldn't have noticed if a starship had crossed my path. So, because I had no idea what was expected of me, I kept my mouth shut.

Jim squeezed my hand. 'You'll know when it's your turn to speak,' he sent to me.

"Then let this be your place of commitment," said a voice I vaguely recognized. It was human, southern. Damn, the guy sounded like he was from the Florida panhandle. That sense got even stronger as he continued, "For your family has requested evidence that the bond is true."

"And let this be your place of celebration." This voice I did know. What was Admiral Archer doing here? Spock answered me as I formed the thought. He, Tucker (the Floridian) and T'Pol were Y'Eros as well, and they came as friends. "For your friends wish to share your joy."

As he finished speaking, Archer and his bondmates came out of the shadows, followed by Ambassador Sarek and an older woman. "T'Pau," Jim whispered as she headed straight for us. "Spock's grandmother. They say she took on the Vulcan High Council and won."

T'Pau came straight to me. "Is thy bond true?" She asked softly and placed her palm on my forehead.

I shivered slightly when her presence skimmed along the bond, but Jim and Spock held me steady and calmed me with their minds.

"Thee art t'hy'la," she said with a nod. Then she said a long, complicated word in Vulcan that I couldn't repeat even if I was drunk.

Tucker chuckled at the face I made. "Why do you think I changed it to Y'Eros?" he whispered.

Then I knew it was my turn to speak. Luckily, Vulcan marriages don't ask for much in the way of speeches. So I summed it all up by saying, "We are three. And we are one."

Then I saw Archer smile and nod his head at Spock. Spock inclined his head in response.

'Want to tell me what that's about?' I sent through the bond.

'The admiral advised me in our time of crisis.' But he wouldn't say any more about it, even though Jim and I both raised our eyebrows curiously.

Just then, T'Pau turned to where some murmuring voices were coming from and addressed them in Vulcan. That must have been the presentation of the newly married persons. Because right after that, Admiral Tucker yelled, "Let's get this party started!"

With happy shouts in return, about half of the Enterprise crew filed into the conference room. As we watched, amazed, the walls retracted, and we could see other conference rooms where food was laid out, presents were stacked, and a cake was waiting for us.

The gig was up. Jim and I swore as we realized our crew had set us up. Spock, on the other hand, just looked pleased that his mates were honored in such a way.

Before everyone started enjoying themselves, Uhura came over with a smile. "The last ceremony was so Vulcan that we felt it was time to combine traditions. So now that the Vulcan formality is out of the way, would you care to join us?"

I laughed. "I've never been to a surprise wedding before."

Jim smirked and pulled me and Spock to him so we could all share a kiss. "I think it's fitting, considering we got the best surprise of our lives at the last wedding."

I nodded and laid a hand on each of their cheeks. "Out of my deepest pain, watching the two of you marry, came my deepest joy. The two of you gave me love again and let me love again. Thank you."

Spock smiled through the bond. "One does not thank logic, Leonard. It was only logical that we would be together."

"Yeah," Jim said softly. "We have been balancing each other since the day we met. I never want to feel as out of control as I did the day you almost left. I had Spock, but I felt like I had cut off my left arm at the same time."

"You, Leonard, are the emotions I never thought I wanted, then found I could not live without," Spock added.

The bond shone for a moment as we embraced silently and shared the feelings that words could not adequately convey.

Then Jim pulled on our hands. "Let's celebrate. If we're nice to Uhura, maybe she'll let us sneak away after a bit. As much as I love these guys, well, they're no match for the two of you."

I chuckled. As I watched my mates, I realized what they meant when they said we balanced each other. Because we were together, a man gained the security and love he had never had as a child. Because we were together, a logical being embraced his emotional side. And me?

Well, let's just say my luck has changed for the better. And it's all because I'm caught between an infuriatingly logical Vulcan who's quick to tell me how much he 'hates' me and a smart-mouthed kid who doesn't know when to quit.

Of course, there's no place I'd rather be.

end part 6 and story