Two Men
Two very different men were lying in their beds this night, incapable to find sleep and failing for the same reason. This reason was Elizabeth Swann, and one of the men was William Turner, her new fiancé.
Considering how unfortunate his entire life had been up to now, nothing had prepared him to handle such sheer bliss as he was feeling now. The loveliest girl in the world had the grace to be in love with him – him, a poor orphan, son of the infamous Bootstrap Bill, and underrated by almost anyone who had ever met him. Not in his boldest dreams, he had ever dared to do so much as hope that he could be able to attach sweet Elizabeth! In her presence, he had hardly managed to speak, or breathe, ever since he had been fourteen, her sight had made his heart beat faster, and her voice had been like music to his ears.
But Miss Swann was a lady, she was the Governor's only daughter, she was heaven itself – in short, she had been as far from Will Turner's reach as the moon, and to his greatest distress, he had been well aware of this apparent fact all the time. She had always treated him very good, she had been more than just civil, she had been kind and obliging, but he had thought this to be just her nature. Not once he had meant that this heavenly creature could possibly love him back. But she did! It was too good to be true!
She was his with hand and heart, and that although he had already deemed all hopes to be gone – she had been engaged to Commodore Norrington. But as it had turned out, she had only accepted this one's offer because of himself, to save Will Turner when he had been in most dire need!
He had been entirely mistaken in his perception; he had taken it for granted that Elizabeth would marry the Commodore, long before this one had even asked her. Commodore Norrington, with his tall figure and natural superiority had appeared like the perfect match for lovely Elizabeth – who else should woo such a woman if not him? Admittedly, Port Royal possessed no wide variety of eligible bachelors, but that did not detract from the Commodore's merits, nor made him any less impressive. As a matter of fact, young Will Turner had idolised him ever since the day that they had fished him out of the ocean. Eight years ago, he had been a boy of eleven years, and although Norrington had been merely the First Lieutenant, he had exceedingly intimidated the confused boy. He had been the actual Commander, as the old and senile Captain Harris hadn't been able to do anything himself, and Will had admired the young officer's determination and skill. His old, deep loathing for pirates was rooted in these days, when he had hidden himself somewhere on deck to watch Lieutenant Norrington. To hold himself like this one, to be able mastering a sword like him – yes, one could well say that he had been an idol for the young boy.
Only recently, the tables had turned, the more conscious he had become of his long-standing regard for Elizabeth, the more his jealousy had ruled him. For the first time, he could have found fault with the Captain, later Commodore, unjust and unfounded, but fervent still. A man who would wed Miss Swann should be more committing, should have showed more fervour and devotion. When they had travelled back from the Isla de Muerta, he had avoided the sight of them, afraid that the Commodore could adopt just this behaviour. But even a great vessel like the Dauntless was too small for avoiding somebody completely, all the more the Commander of the ship. Despite himself and his nagging envy, Will had seen himself forced to restore his old respect for an excellent sailor and a fine gentleman. It had been a source of comfort to him to think of Elizabeth as the future Mrs. Commodore, he would make her a good, respectable husband.
Well, as things were now, Will could muster a good deal of compassion for the Commodore indeed. Poor man! To be engaged to the love of his life in one moment, and let go of her in the next – that was tough, and once again, Will admired the Commodore's flawless pose. No gentleman could have acted with more fortitude, he had actually wished his former fiancée and himself luck. The true greatness that had been displayed in such conduct was more impressive than all his famous victories together. But Will wasn't so selfless as to withdraw for his rival's sake, now that he knew that Elizabeth loved him too; that would have been too much to ask indeed.
His only sorrow now was when he would be allowed to marry the sweetest of all women, and that was a big problem indeed. He had no idea at all how he should raise enough money to be able of offering her the life that she deserved, and none of Elizabeth's soothing would help him. He felt that she had no clue what he was talking about; money had never been important to her, simply because she had always got more than enough of it. She didn't know that all the work of a blacksmith, how good he might ever be, simply wasn't enough to afford a marriage to a woman like her. Briefly, he had considered to join the Navy as well; he was a very good sword fighter, and if one knew that his father had been a gifted sailor… But that would take too long; with all his merits, Captain Norrington had needed fifteen years until being made a Commodore. He could impossibly wait fifteen years to marry Elizabeth! It would have been a good idea, but it would not do.
Those were the sorrows and delights of Will Turner, whereas the delight outclassed the worry by far. With a girl like Elizabeth at his side, what could be there to truly fear or fret about?
There was yet another man tossing and turning in his berth, desperate with the memory of said lady, all of his prospects had been lost and destroyed in the same moment of Will Turner's elation. Commodore James Norrington couldn't sleep with grief, and unfortunately, this was not the first night seeing him in such a pitiable constitution. As a matter of fact, he had not really slept for seven days now; he had hardly eaten anything, and owed it to his pure will to keep himself up-right. He had never felt such misery, and was as little apt of dealing with it as Will Turner managed to handle his joy.
Elizabeth Swann was the epitome of perfection in his eyes, and he had loved her just as long as his in the end more successful rival. He had never got eyes for any other woman, and he couldn't imagine he would ever have. He hadn't believed that she was in love with him, no, but he had hoped that in time, she could learn how to love him, he had meant that his own unconquerable affection might be enough for the two of them. Admittedly, when he had asked her to be his wife, she hadn't answered but fainted. But his crazed fancy had made him believe she had fainted due to agitation – he himself had been ready to sink with it.
He had captained the Dauntless for five years, he was a sailor for almost fifteen years and had seen perhaps a hundred great battles, he had even faced a crew of immortal pirates – but nothing had ever frightened him anything like that afternoon. Although he had practised his speech so well, speaking it to himself every night for three weeks or more, he had scarcely found his voice, and had found it even more impossible to remember a single word of it. He had wished to tell her how ardent his love was, that he hoped to be allowed to rouse the same feelings in her, that he would wait for her as long as it would take. Well, not much of it had come out, and in his tension, he hadn't even noticed that she had fallen off the cliff. If only he had jumped after her in this moment! If only he hadn't listened to Gillette's warnings! Perhaps he would have died, crushing on the rocks underneath, but at least he would have died for her then. But no, he had listened to reason, in this case: Gillette, and in his eyes, this had only started the whole sad story. It had been Jack Sparrow's honour to be her rescuer, which had led to his arrest, which had led to this scoundrel enabling Will Turner to pursue her, which had made him a hero in her eyes…
Shortly, he had been angry with Jack Sparrow, finding him the culprit of this fiasco, but James Norrington was too reasonable a man to deceive himself long in this respect. To tell the truth, he even felt a strange sort of regard for 'Captain Sparrow' who had fooled him more than just once, and he wasn't fooled easily. He'd bring him to the gallows nevertheless, of course, but the Commodore was a sportsman, and appreciated having a worthy opponent. He would hunt him down and if it was the last thing he did, but as far as he was concerned, it could well take some time until he caught him in the end. He couldn't return to Port Royal before he hadn't rallied himself, and considering his present situation, he had the distinct impression that he wouldn't recover fast, if at all.
Oh Elizabeth… She wasn't only beautiful, in fact, her beauty was little compared to her other qualities; there was a fierce passion about her that had amused him when she had still been a little girl, and had irresistibly attracted him when she had become older. More so, she was smart and witty, determined and will-strong, sweet and amiable, caring and kind.
Of course, he couldn't name an exact day when he had fallen in love with her; she had been almost a child yet. Her lively temper, so different from his own, her vigour and easiness had endeared the girl to him in the most innocent way, and it had taken him some more years to realise how exceedingly fond he was of her. Before that, he had watched her with curious interest, amused, endeared, bewildered by the Governor's wild daughter. To acknowledge that he was in love with her had taken him by surprise; for the first time in his life, he had thought of marriage in a deeper way than only contemplating it for his more distant future. He had suddenly known that he'd never be truly happy without this girl, that being with somebody for the rest of his life could be more than just a matter of convenience, of general manner for a man in his position. It had also been the moment to understand that Elizabeth would never love himself in the same way. But perhaps, he had allowed himself to hope, he might be able to make her accustom to the idea of marrying him nevertheless. He had never asked for more.
That day when she had accepted his proposal, he had been the happiest man on earth. For a moment, he had hesitated – well, not seriously, he would have married her any time under the most terrible conditions – but he had asked her whether she had meant it sincere. He would have rowed to the end of the world for her, and freeing Will Turner had seemed a comparably small task, but in this moment and despite himself, he had wanted to know whether she married him for this purpose only. But her answer had rendered his doubts into sheer happiness – 'Your answer would not change mine; you are a fine man, James' she had whispered, and he had been so out of himself with bliss that he had nearly lost his pose. He knew that she hadn't lied to him in this moment; and she would have kept her word if he had demanded it. To his greatest dismay, this let her appear only more noble, not less. She would have abandoned the man that she loved to safe his life, she was willing to do whatever it would take, even marry someone else. But knowing this, how could he have tied her to her word then? All he cared for was she, her happiness – he wouldn't want to see her unhappy only because of himself, even if this meant his own heart to be breaking.
She would marry Will Turner, the young blacksmith, sooner or later. Of course, the boy needed to make his fortune first to afford it, but as Providence and sheer dumb luck seemed to be with these two, it could well be that the Governor died within the next five years, and being his only child, Elizabeth would inherit a handsome fortune. James doubted that Mr Turner would agree to marry her on that foundation, but on the other hand, he would also not manage to withstand her too long. All he – James – could hope for was that he would be on sea on that day, or at the bottom of the ocean!
His First Lieutenant, Robert Chandler, was the only one aboard who had some ideas about his superior's feelings. They had been sailing together for the greatest time that Chandler was in the Navy; he had started as a midshipman on the Dauntless ten years ago, and though having no connections worth mentioning, hard labour and great courage had advanced him to his present position. He was highly esteemed by the Commodore for his bravery, cleverness and sincerity, and if possible, they sailed together ever since. The other officer next to Lieutenant Chandler and slightly higher in rank was Lieutenant Gillette, but for some reasons, James couldn't stand him. He couldn't find a name for it; Gillette had never done anything wrong, no, but then, he hadn't distinguished himself either, he had become a First Lieutenant because he was a baronet's son, he was over-anxious, unlucky, and had a way of dealing superiority that James simply disliked. Being a sailor in His Majesty's Service for nearly half of his life, he knew that authority was necessary, the chain of command had to work without flaws. But he hated Gillette's ingratiating manners, his eagerness to please, his unreasonable conceit towards his inferiors which was undignified and unworthy of his origin, and as long as the Commodore had a say in appointing a Captain, Lieutenant Gillette would stand no chance of advancing himself any further.
"Sir, can I talk to you?"
James oppressed a sigh and turned around. "Of course. What is it?"
"I – Sir, I know it is not my place, but… You appear to be very subdued and – well –"
They exchanged a grave look; the Commodore really had no wish to discuss his unhappy mood and Chandler knew that. On the other hand, he pitied his superior and found the cause for this one's grief unworthy. Robert Chandler had no sympathy for the spoilt daughters of rich men. He had even less sympathy for them when they were calculating and treacherous, and when they played their false game with a man as honourable and good as the Commodore.
"We still haven't found Captain Sparrow, Robert. Isn't that enough reason for a soldier to be subdued?"
"Excuse my liberty, Sir, but I fancy we're both aware that Captain Sparrow has nothing to do with your pallor lately. Look, I don't mean to intrude on your personal affairs, but – you see, the men rely on you. If nothing else, you have to be strong and confident for their sake –"
Despite himself, James smiled. "Stop talking such nonsense, Robert. You and I are very much aware that all the men do care about right now is that we'll reach Tortuga in less than a week. If you want to disquiet yourself, you should worry about telling them that they're not going to get the permission to leave the ship."
"Come on, James. This is just the two of us speaking. No call for ceremony or false constraint. We're on sea for weeks by now, and instead of loosening up as I had hoped you would, you only got gloomier. It's not worth it. She's not worth it –"
"No," James interrupted him sharply. "I forbid you to talk about Miss Swann in this fashion!"
"Forgive me. Still –"
"Still nothing. I know you mean well, Robert, and I thank you for that. Have I given you reason to criticise my leadership? If you want to blame me for not having captured Sparrow yet, I will listen to your charges. But do not blame me for my incapability to forget the woman so quickly that I hoped to marry. In my opinion, the one quality next to bravery that a soldier must have is loyalty. You don't want to take that away from me, do you?"
"James, there couldn't be a more capable soldier than you. No captain that I'd rather want to serve. No man more loyal. But this isn't about loyalty. You are an excellent man, and it simply pains me to see you in such a state. No matter how worthy you find her or how worthy she really might be, no woman is worth of making you so unhappy. Look at it! Somewhere out there is a woman that appreciates your true worth. If you want to grieve about something, grieve about not having found her yet."
James chuckled and turned away to hide his baleful expression. "I'll keep that in mind, shall I? Honestly, I'm obliged to you for your care, Robert. I really am. I will try to be as cheerful as I possibly can, all right?"
"Miss Swann is a fair and worthy lady, but there are plenty of others just like her. Don't grief yourself for a woman who wouldn't have the same sentiments about yourself!"
"I shall give it a try." He smirked wryly. "And hope you will remember your words of wisdom if you should ever find yourself in the same situation as me!"
"If I do, I shall eat them, Sir." Chandler grinned, and shortly afterwards, James had sent him away. Now he was lying in his cabin, and in the East, he could see the first beams of the rising sun. It was going to be another beautiful day on the ocean, but after sailing these waters for so long, he no longer had eyes for such wonders, and even less in the past days. A sudden snow storm wouldn't have amazed him now, and probably, he would have regarded it only as a trite symbol of his own frozen self.