Hello and thanks for all the reviews. I just got back from Virginia, and it gave me sometime to stop consistently thinking about what I'm going to write next lol. I didn't really get a lot of feedback on what you guys wanted to happen, so I'll just fill you in on what will happen if you choose the birth of Naley's kid and what will happen if we not make it a big deal.
So I was thinking back a couple of weeks, and I already had the whole Bryle union thing all set up in my head, what each were going to say and everything. I just couldn't figure out where I wanted it all to take place. If you guys want Haley to be giving birth, and have a scene with it and everything, Brooke's going to confess her feelings at the hospital, right before the baby enters the world. If you guys don't want it to be a big deal, then I was thinking of having it either somewhere at school or Brooke go to his house or whatever. So now that I went into more detail about it, give me a definite review on what you want to happen.
This will mainly just be a filler chapter with a little bit of everyone and their views about the whole situation. Also look for a Lucas and Kyle interaction. Can you say awkward? lol. Enjoy and review!!
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Chapter 45: My Heart Won't Let Me Fall Back
After her little moment of weakness the other night, Brooke had resorted to writing every freaking thing she was feeling onto college ruled paper with a sparkly purple pen. She had been writing continuously for the past two days, and it didn't help her feel any better, but it kept her from talking, and for the first time ever, she didn't feel like saying anything at the moment.
Peyton had stopped by everyday, sometimes twice a day to just hang out with her. She didn't tell Peyton that she had called Kyle, and she definitely didn't tell her that she considered going out and getting wasted. As much as she would like her to, she knew Peyton wouldn't understand, as detailed and as intense Brooke could go, it was confusing to explain what went through Brooke's mind for anyone. Brooke was who she was, and there was really no point in even trying to understand the things she does.
Kyle understood that, which made it all the more complicated and all the more hard to not talk to him everyday, let alone see him.
Her hand paused as she heard her phone ringing next to her. She cautiously peered over and saw that Nathan was calling. Brooke breathed a sigh of relief. She hadn't had a chance to talk to Nathan in a long time, and it was always nice to hear from him. Nathan never judged her, mainly because he had no reason to. Brooke was the female version of Nathan.
"Hey Nate," she said into the phone, and fell backwards onto her bed.
"Hey Davis, just letting you know that I'm turning on your street right now so have my food and drink ready," Nathan stated.
She rolled her eyes, "Of course Nathan, I'll have it ready by the time your inflated ego makes it through the door."
"Thank you Brooke. See you in like, thirty seconds," he said laughing.
"Alright, just walk right in," Brooke said before hanging up. She folded her recent journal rant and stuffed it under her mattress. And if Nathan thought for a second that she was going to have his food and drink ready, he must have took too many basketballs to the head or something, because there was no way in hell she was going to do that.
"So, where's my meal?" Nathan asked, walking through the door and sitting on Rachel's bed.
Brooke scoffed, "Yeah right. You got legs, get it yourself."
"Okay fine I'll let you off this one time. So how're you doing?"
"Ehh fine I guess. Just focusing on getting better and stuff," Brooke said lightly, sitting on her own bed.
"That's good. Haley said you seemed okay when she saw you," Nathan said, looking at her closely.
Guilt hit Brooke like a ton of bricks. It wasn't until yesterday that Brooke realized she had lied to one of her best friends. She didn't like acting like everything was okay because it wasn't. But at the time it made her think everything was going to be okay, only now she was sadly mistaken.
She grimaced,"Nate, I kind of lied to Tutorgirl."
He raised one eyebrow, "How so?" Truth was, Nathan didn't really believe it when his wife told him that Brooke seemed alright. Call it a coincidence of deja vu, but after being isolated from someone you want to be with, Brooke was not fine.
"When she came over the other day, I acted like I was okay. BUt I'm really a mess Nate. I can't make sense of anything anymore. I'm seriously losing control over myself, and I'm not fine," she said seriously.
"If you really felt that way, then why didn't you say anything? Haley's your best friend, you know she would've wanted to know how you're really doing." Nathan said, now confused. He'd been trying to figure out why she wouldn't have told one of her best friends, but he still got nothing. And from the way Brooke was talking, he didn't think Peyton knew about this either.
Brooke sighed, "Yeah, I know that Haley would have wanted to know. Hell, even Peyton would want to know, but Nathan they don't understand! They have no idea how I'm feeling, because I can't even comprehend how I'm feeling. There's no way I could string what I feel into words, because there aren't any. There's nothing that I could say to Peyton or Haley that would give them something to say to make me feel better."
Nathan nodded, "I know how you feel. It's not really the same thing, but I know what it feels like to have nobody understand you, you feel like you're on your own. Like the only advice you could get is from yourself, and even then you don't make sense at what you're saying to yourself."
"How is it that you can relate to almost everything I go through?" Brooke asked.
He shrugged, "We're a lot alike, not just because we've changed, but because we think the same. Committment scares us, opening up wasn't an option, and continuously being judged day in and day out. Yep, we're pretty much twins or something."
"Yeah, well I'm the hotter twin," Brooke said dismissively.
"Oh whatever. We're equal in our hottness. We were voted the two hottest people last year," Nathan pointed out.
"Yeah, that was because they needed a boy, it wouldn't be right if there was just a girl."
"You know I wanted to have a heart to heart with you, but it seems all you want to do it argue with me."
"Sorry, it's just that I've been serious all the time, thinking about it all all the time. It's like I dug myself into my own ditch, and I can't get out."
"When Haley came back, wanting to pick up with our marriage, I was so appalled that she expected everything to go back to the way it was. And the more and more people kept telling me to just forgive her, the more I didn't want to be with her. That's why Lucas had me so pissed. He had no idea what he was talking about, he didn't know what it felt like. And I just couldn't understand what people were telling me, I felt like I was alone, like only I could influence myself in what to do. I reached out to Haley, but on my own terms, when I was ready. The same should go for you. When you're ready, do whatever. So I guess I could see why you didn't tell anyone after all," Nathan explained.
Brooke shook her head, "Yeah I get what you're saying. Nobody can really know how I feel, but I know I'm ready. It's not that I want to wait until the right time, I just don't know how to put it all into words, because honestly being with Kyle scares the hell out of me."
"Care to elaborate?"
"He scares me because he knows me and he loves me anyway, you know? And it's weird because I could see myself doing everything with him. And I'm scared that we'll break up, or just completely lose everything."
"Same thing with me and Haley. I couldn't believe that she would want to be with me, a retired player and asshole. She could've even been famous, but she left it all to just be with me. But if you and Kyle really love each other, then you'll never lose that what you guys have."
"Thanks Nate. I just want to give Kyle time to I guess cool down. He was trying to be as nice as possible the last time I saw him, but I could still tell he was upset."
"I haven't talked to him about that, but I'm sure he's okay now. He loves you, so he won't be. BUt I have talked to Lucas."
Brooke winced, "Thanks, now I feel bad again. How's he doing?"
He shrugged, "He's still trying to wrap his head around the fact that you two are really over. But I'm sure he'll be fine. No matter what he says or does, all Lucas wants is for you to be happy Brooke. And he knows now that it's not with him."
"He said that if I wanted to be with Kyle, then I shouldn't be afraid to go for it," Brooke said, remembering the day she broke up with him, for the last time.
"He's right about that. But don't worry about Lucas, he'll be fine. Concentrate on you and what you're going to say when you tell Kyle that you want to be with him," Nathan said, walking towards the door.
"Oh yeah, like that's a piece of cake," Brooke groaned.
"It's really not, but when you get to that point, you can't go wrong."
Brooke looked at him, "When I get to that point?"
"When you're standing right in front of him with your palms sweaty, your heart thumping through your chest, your feet cemented to the ground, and your throat closing up on you. It's almost impossible to say anything, but when you're right there, just start talking, no matter how hoarse your voice is or that you're making absolutely no sense."
"You have alot of experience on stuff like this don't you?" Brooke asked, leaning against the door.
"Oh yeah, believe me. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten nervous in front of Haley. She looks kind but she still made my legs shake."
"Thanks for talking to me Nate," Brooke said seriously.
"Come here," he said, pulling her into a hug, "I'm glad you told me what was going on. If there's one thing I learned over the past years, it's that there's a time to listen to your head and a time to listen to your heart. Stop thinking so much into all this and start doing what you want to do."
Closing the door behind her, Brooke felt somewhat better about herself from talking with Nathan. Maybe she wasn't as alone as she thought. Walking into her room, she pulled out jeans and a red polo shirt. She was craving hot chocolate, and there was only one place she could properly be satisfied. Call her crazy, or bi polar, but she really wanted to go out and try to be fine. Maybe then she wouldn't have to lie so much.
--
My heart beats fast again
Only seems to flutter when you're around.
And you seem to cycle a smile
That builds me all up and brings me down.
Kyle didn't know what he was doing, and frankly he could care less. For the past two days, he had done nothing but go to school and work out, sometimes the occasional eating and sleeping. Call him crazy, but he just wanted to do whatever he could to get through his days.
He would talk to Nathan and Peyton sometimes, but not like before. He just wanted to stop talking about his problems, to stop thinking about them, and certainly to stop feeling them. Two out of three wasn't that bad anyway.
Now he was running around the whole town, with his hoodie over his head and his Ipod on full blast in his ears. Right now he was listening to Favorite Sin by Within Reason, it was one of his favorites because it completely described him and how he felt about Brooke. Plus it had a pretty good beat.
You take all my problems.
Belt them up and throw them all away.
With the pleasure comes the pain.
That only you could bring.
Working out day in and day out is never really a good thing. It burns you out and sometimes you get hurt, but Kyle didn't care. It was something to do, so he was doing it. When he got home, he would be downstairs in the den, doing as much benchpresses before he couldn't feel his arms. His dad kept on nagging him to take it down a notch, but everytime Kyle stopped, he would think of Brooke, and then thinking about her would lead on to wanting to see her, and that took out all his energy within itself.
He already passed the Rivercourt, deserted as it had been lately. He didn't know if it was because everyone was busy with college applications or enjoying Tree Hill life, but nobody except Nathan and Kyle ever hung out there. He didn't know where Lucas was, but it definitely wasn't anywhere near the court. Kyle guessed he was still trying to get over him and Brooke's break up, but he wouldn't know after all. He hadn't talked to Brooke in almost a week.
Running into town, he saw tons of people coming out of all the sorts of stores, everyone was just hanging out until graduation, when some people would have to say good bye. But saying good bye wasn't something Kyle would have to do, he had all the people he needed in college to make it the best years of his life.
He stopped to take in the whole small town in it's hustle and bustle. Being in Tree Hill was like living in a post card. He never thought such a small and homey town existed, but here he was. Not everyone in it was welcoming and humble, but that was obvious.
It wasn't until then he realized he was really thirsty and he actually acknowledged the grumble in his stomach for the first time in awhile. Karen's Cafe was right across the street and he didn't want to see Lucas there, but he continued to tell himself that maybe Lucas might not even be there.
Catching his breath, he started walking through couples and children with their parents, trying to get to the entrance of the Cafe. It was halfway midstep that he stopped abruptly, much to the annoyance of the man right behind him. He didn't even bother to move, not even to remove his ear phones, Within Reason still reverberating in his ears.
Brooke was making her way to the Cafe also, at the opposite from where Kyle was walking. She was dressed casually, but she still looked so beautiful. He never saw her eyes though, because they were staring at the ground, like she was seriously rethinking even coming out in the open. He smiled a little, because that was exactly what she was thinking. Then reality smacked him smack dab in the face. Brooke would see him if he didn't do something right now.
So, he did the first thing he could think of, he spun the other way and sprinted out of town, and as far away from Brooke as he could get.
You've been given all I have.
When you come around, I seem to give in.
In a fight I'll never win.
Cause all the while, you're my favorite sin.
He couldn't feel his legs and he didn't know where he was going, all he could think about is what would've happened if he had still stood there, waiting for her to look up and see him staring at her in the middle of the sidewalk. Apart of him just wanted to stand there for all of eternity, but he just, couldn't let himself do that. He couldn't let himself give in when he had done so much to make sure that this was all worth it.
It's one thing to fight with someone you love, it's another to fight with yourself, both at the same time. One side was telling him to just come clean and let whatever happens happen. But the other side of his head was telling him to stand his ground, or possible run the other way. But either way he couldn't win in his mind until he knew what Brooke was thinking. Sure, he knew the obvious things she thought, but when it came to this, anything was possible.
After everything that had happened the past few months, Kyle didn't think he had anything more to give to a person. He wouldn't have even done it if he didn't think this thing was something that would last. He was exhausted of continuously having his heart snatched from his sleeve and sewed back on, whether he knew it or not.
Kyle didn't know what was wrong with him. It was a perfectly good time to see her face to face, to ask how she was doing, to actually talk to her. But it couldn't have been a more bad time. Mostly because of the fact that he promised himself that he wouldn't let himself get hurt by all this confusion that seemed to float over his head whenever it came to Brooke and what she felt.
He turned into his street, not even bothering to stop and walk the rest of the way. It was intoxicating, having to refrain from seeing someone you love so much, but that was why he did it in the first place. He could barely breathe, and he didn't want to until he reached his house. Bargaining with yourself is never a good thing, but in his case, he could care less if he turned blue from lack of oxygen.
As he reached his driveway, he saw another car parked behind his truck. The first name that came to mind was Nathan, but that definitely wasn't his car. And his dad already had 5 cars in storage at the moment, so he definitely wasn't splurging again. He looked to his left and saw Lucas sitting on his doorstep, in deep thought. Brooding, he guessed. he considered turning back the other way and just acting like he never saw Lucas at all. But that nagging feeling in his head wanted to know so badly what Lucas was doing here in the first place. Last time he even saw Lucas he was with Brooke at the hospital, when they were still together, and even then Kyle wanted to beat his face in.
He took a deep breath before walking up the driveway. Talking to Lucas wasn't something Kyle wanted to do at the moment, seeing as he was in love with his ex girlfriend, who had just broken up with him. Lord only knew what he wanted to talk about. Maybe he wanted to patch things up and just bury the hatchet now that him and Brooke were over? Sure, it was wishful thinking, but it was all he could do from slowly walking away. It was uncomfortable, and him and Lucas never really had a good relationship, if you wanna call it that.
"Lucas?" Kyle asked, pulling his earphones out of his ear and wrapping it up in his Ipod. Lucas jerked his head to look up at Kyle.
"Hey. Your dad said you weren't home, so I said I would just wait for you to get here," Lucas said, standing up and dusting his pants off.
"Umm alright. So what are you doing here?" Kyle asked, opening the door for Lucas to come in.
"Brooke broke up with me," Lucas stated.
"Yeah, I heard about that. Tough break," Kyle said, trying to sound sincere, but in reality he just didn't want to talk to Lucas about anything right now.
"And I know it was because of you, and how she feels about you. She loves you Kyle, and I wanna know why."
--
Brooke was seriously regretting coming to the Cafe. So far she had gotten 3 people ask her how she was doing with her accident. She politely responded by saying she was getting better, and that she would be good as new in no time. And then there were the other five people that asked her why she broke up with Lucas. She shortly responded by saying they should mind their own business. She cursed herself for leaving the house on such a busy day in town.
She hadn't told anybody she was going into town. Actually, she hadn't really talked to anyone but Peyton and Nathan that day. Peyton always stopped by to check up on her, and always got the feel that Brooke just wanted to be alone. And P. Sawyer didn't want to push it, so she left. Right about now she was probably sitting on her bed drawing some emo sketch, but it gave Brooek some comfort to know that Peyton would never change. Drama and heartache would spike their lives, but she'd always come back to her safe haven and just draw for hours. Sometimes it was annoying, but in other times Brooke wouldn't have it any other way.
And it was always a pick up to see Nathan. He was such a positive energy, it was like he'd been this great guy all his life. Brooke never thought Nathan was as bad as people thought, mainly because she was Nathan. There's always something under all the bad stuff, and when Nathan finally wised up, she knew she wasn't crazy. They had both been in similar situations in the past, and he knew when you be serious and when to just completely make fun of her. There had been that period of time where they couldn't stand each other, and then the time when they weren't even friends. Brooke had no idea how they got to that point, but she was glad that they were as close as ever now.
Brooke slid in between people until she reached the door with the welcoming sign on it and the ringing bell. She turned around slightly, looking around the busy streets, feeling like she was missing something. Ignoring it, she proceeded into the Cafe.
Surprisingly it wasn't as crowded as she thought. The usual people she used to see around, sitting in their usual seats. Karen was nowhere in sight, but it didn't shock Brooke. She was probably at home resting, what with the baby's due date slowly approaching.
"Davis, what the hell are you doing out?" a voice said from behind her.
She smirked, "Yeah, well I knew you guys missed me, so just dropping in so you guys can actually go on."
"Thanks, that was so selfless of you," Jake said sarcastically.
Ever since he popped back into town, Jake had been kind of on the down low, which was definitely a good and bad thing. Good things for him because now he could just relax and not wonder why people were staring at him weirdly. Bad thing because now they were all staring at Brooke weirdly, and she was aware of every single thing she did. The relationship between him and Peyton was also a bit low key for Brooke's taste, and for the same exact reasons. Jake was a good guy, no doubt about that. He had been dealt a hard card but in true Jake fashion, he 'just played defense and lived his life.' And it wasn't a bad thing to have his daughter. Jenny was such a sweetie, and if things went smoothly, Peyton could be that mother that she had missed growing up.
"So Jagielski, you work here now?" she asked, gesturing to his Karen's Cafe apron.
"Yeah, I needed a little extra money, and Karen's been really cool about having Jenny around the Cafe," Jake explained.
"That's Karen for ya," Brooke said, sitting down at a barstool. Karen was always trying to help people, whether it be lend them a spare room at her own house, or working over at the Cafe on their own terms.
"So what can I get you?" Jake asked, hands on the counter, in his ready to serve stance.
"Well my intentions of this visit was to get some hot chocolate, but it's way too hot for that, so I'll just have a glass of Karen's ice tea."
"Alright, coming right up," Jake said, grabbing the pitcher of ice tea from the back and filling a glass with ice cubes.
"So," he began, "I heard you and Lucas are really over." Wow, real discreet.
"Yup, I think it was about time to just end things before they got worse you know?" Brooke said.
He nodded, "Yeah I get what you're saying. You don't want to him any more than you already have. So, what's your status with Kyle?"
"Peyton hasn't told you anything?" Brooke asked.
"She's told me the obvious stuff, she just doesn't want your business broadcasted around the whole town, although it gets out anyway," Jake smiled.
"Well, for now there's no me and Kyle. He wanted to give me time to figure out what I'm going to do, so he's staying away from me like the plague for the time being. As for me, I know what I want, but I just don't know how to go about it. And the fact that I'm scared shitless at this point," Brooke explained, taking a sip of her tea.
"Hmm, well that's a dilemma. It's Kyle isn't it?"
Brooke nodded, "Yeah, so far he's all I think about at this point. I just don't know what to say or do that's going to make him believe me. He was pretty upset the last time I spoke to him, so who knows what will happen."
"Don't move too fast though. Give both of you time to just chill out and figure things out slowly."
"Speaking of slowly, how are you and Peyton?" Brooke asked, changing the subject.
"Peyton's hasn't told you anything?" Jake asked, repeating Brooke's recent question.
"The only thing I've heard is that you're 'taking things slow,' she won't elaborate, so I'm bothering you!"
"Ha thanks. But honestly there's nothing to tell. We are taking things slow, not just to make this work, but for Jenny also. But I'm happy with the way things are now, it can only get better from here," Jake explained.
"I'm happy for you guys. Seriously, it's about time Peyton had a stable relationship. And she loves you so, whatever 'take it slow,' or whatever the hell that means," Brooke said.
"That's good to know. But we both know that you would be happier when you got your own stable relationship," Jake pointed out.
"Ahh here we go again," Brooke mumbled.
"Hey we don't have to talk about that if you don't want to, it's just that I haven't had a chance to formally talk to you in awhile," Jake explained, his hands up in defense.
Brooke sighed, "Alright you got me. It's just that when I think about it, my mind wanders into the worst possible scenario, I freak out, and then I refuse to think about it again."
"Why don't you just come out and tell him? You already know that you want to be with him, so what else is there possibly to think about?" Jake asked.
"Oh I don't know the fact that I have no idea what I want to say to him. How I feel and what I say would be two completely different things. I can't put into words what I want to say becuase it only make sense to me."
"When Peyton said she wanted to be with me, she didn't have a speech or anything. She chased me to my house and knocked on my door and just started talking, even all the way back to when she visited me in Savannah. Determining whether you love someone or not isn't a test to who says the sweetest things or who gives you the most passionate kiss. If somewhere along the line you tell them that you want to be with them, the rest is just a bunch of fluff," Jake said.
"You're right, but I really love the fluff," Brooke said thoughtfully.
--
"Ummm, what?" was all he could say, once he got over the first initial shock. Yeah, he expected Lucas to have some sort of suspicion, something, but not for him to just come out and say it, let alone demand why. Kyle didn't even know the freaking answer to that, it was something he was trying to figure out also.
"You heard me. Brooke loves you, she's in love with you, which is exactly why she broke up with me. I'm here to know why she loves you and what have you two been doing this whole time," Lucas said, his voice half mad half confused.
Kyle couldn't really blame him. If he was in Lucas's position, he wouldn't even be confused, just pissed. In fact, he would've already been swinging by now. He walked into the living room and sat down on the couch with Lucas right across from him, racking his brain trying to figure out what he could possibly say to Lucas that would make him understand it all and just leave. But he got nothing.
"Lucas, I honestly don't know if that's why she broke up with you in the first place," Kyle said slowly.
"Kyle you and I both know why. It's because she loves you and wants to be with you. She sugarcoated it with other things that were wrong in our relationship, but that was the real reason, because she wanted to be with you. And I've been trying to think about what I could've done different or what she could've done. But I've learned that you can't help who you love, and Brooke can't help that she loves you and not me. But why? How did she get to the point where she didn't love me anymore?"
"I wish I would give you an answer to that, but I don't have one because I'm still trying to figure this out. Lucas, Brooke's always going to love you in some way, whether she wants to be with you or not, she's not just going to forget you after everything that's happened. You know her better than that," Kyle explained.
"Do you love her?" Lucas asked, clearly not paying attention to what Kyle just said.
"Do I, what?" Kyle asked, shocked that Lucas would come out and ask him something like that. He wanted to answer it truthfully, but he didn't know if telling the truth was the right thing in this situation.
"Are you in love with her, do you wanna be with her?" Lucas asked, almost desperate for an answer, maybe he wanted to hear the truth, maybe he wanted Kyle to lie to him. He didn't want to hurt Lucas, that was something he didn't need right now, but he didn't know any other answer.
"Yeah, you're right Lucas," Kyle said quietly, saying it out loud for the first time ever. In his mind it was crazy enough, but it felt free to actually confirm it to someone. That someone just had to be Lucas.
Lucas leaned back on the couch in defeat, "Has she been cheating on me this whole time?"
Kyle quickly shook his head, "No Lucas, we haven't been sneaking around behind your back or anything. It just, happened I guess." Yeah something did happen, a couple of times, but he felt it better to just not mention it.
"So you're telling me you were friends that somehow escaladed into something more, meaning love?" Lucas asked.
"Well, actually, yeah, that's exactly what it means."
"But why you? No offense or anything, but you like just got back into town."
"I can't answer for Brooke, but to me I felt that I've loved her all this time, it's just that things kept on coming at me that kind of turned myself away from thinking about it I guess. Plus, we were best friends, and that would've just complicated things. But it didn't change how I felt about her, and it didn't stop me from wanting to be that guy for her."
"But I was doing all the right things, I tried to hard to be a good boyfriend. The only flaw I had was my jealousy towards you. It was like Brooke wanted to confide in you, to be around you, and right now it kind of all makes sense now," Lucas said, staring off into space.
Kyle scoffed, "Believe me, you have nothing to be jealous about."
"Except the fact that the girl I love is in love with you?" Lucas asked seriously.
"Umm yeah, except that," KYle said awkwardly.
"If you guys are in love with each other, then why aren't you together already?" Lucas asked.
Kyle sighed, "Well actually that's kind of my fault. It's a really long story."
"I've got time," Lucas shot back. Kyle didn't want to have to elaborate about the whole situation, but he didn't know how else to say it.
"Okay," Kyle began, "Well a couple of weeks ago I guess Brooke was trying to decide who was best for her, I guess who she loved more. There were all these questions she had written down and she had answered all of them the day of the accident. She couldn't remember where she had put them because of the accident, and she was so freaked out about finding it. A few days later, when we were at the library for that project, I found it in the crook of a desk. Apparently she had left it behind on her way out."
"So the paper held what kind of questions?"
"The basic 'Who' questions. There were like six of them actually."
"Oh okay, go on."
"Before I even had time to read it, Peyton caught me and snatched it from my hand. I really wanted to know what it had said, so she let me read one question, obviously she picked the shortest without even bothering to look. It kind of pissed me off in what it said and then I knew that I had to talk to Brooke..."
"What did that one question say?" Lucas asked, interested.
Kyle's head ached, he had already told too much information, and now he would have to tell Lucas the basic source of his break up with Brooke.
"It asked which guy can you now live without, and she said that she didn't know, because she hasn't had to live without either of them," Kyle explained, now seriously regretting letting Lucas into the house.
"And this was when we were still together?" Lucas asked.
"Yep," Kyle answered, his eyes planted to the coffee table.
Lucas groaned, "That's just great. So basically the whole time me and her were together, she was having doubts and developing feelings for you?!"
"Like I said Lucas, I don't know completely," Kyle said in defense. Now that he thought about it, he remembered the first game of the tournament, when Lucas and Brooke first got back together. It was almost right after Kyle had seen Ali. He could only imagine what was running through Brooke's mind.
"Okay fine. So you were pissed and wanted to talk to Brooke.."
"Yeah, so after school I went to her house to try to figure out what was going through her head, because for the first time ever I couldn't understand her. We had an argument, with that one question still ringing in my ears, and I knew that I had to just do something. Brooke was confused and was confusing me. So I told her that I wouldn't see or talk to her until she figured things out for herself, without me always being there, and making it hard for herself," Kyle explained.
"It kind of makes sense. You didn't want her making a decision when you were always going to be around when she needed you."
"Yeah, it sounded kind of stupid at the time but I really thought--"
"Wait, Brooke broke up with me the same day," Lucas interrupted
Kyle grimaced, hoping Lucas had forgotten that day, "Yeah, I know. I didn't expect her to break up with you at all, let alone the day after she got back from the hospital."
"Oh man. Everything was happening right in front of me and I didn't see it," he said disbelievingly.
"Brooke didn't want to hurt you. That's why she went on with your relationship. She didn't want to give you up if I was just something that simultaneously happened," Kyle said, trying to make Lucas feel the least bit better, but he knew it wouldn't work.
"But it had already been there," Lucas said quietly.
"I'm sorry that you got hurt," Kyle said sincerely to Lucas for the first time ever.
Lucas shrugged, "You can't help who you love right?"
"I guess you can't."
"Well," he said, standing up, "I guess I better get going. Thanks for telling me all this."
"If it helps you make sense of everything, then there's no need to thank me."
"Alright, if you say so. Kyle, I know Brooke's confused but I know she's not confused about how she feels about you. Brooke scared, and if I still know her she's doubting herself, the insecurity button being pushed. But just, be good to her. God knows I've hurt her enough."
Kyle watched him leave, maybe Lucas Scott wasn't that bad after all. He quickly shook his head, this whole thing was completely wearing him out, plus he had already spent 15 minutes talking to Lucas, which meant that he needed to spend an extra 15 minutes working out. Maybe he was working himself too hard, maybe this wasn't the right way to go, but he wouldn't fall back. He couldn't.