Thus far into the story I have gotten some interesting responses. First off I've been told my characters are a bit crazy. This is wholly true. They are crazy. Trust me it only gets worse. (And by the way "Dardy" is how I wanted it. 'Tis a parody.)

I've been told it's absolutely nothing like other things up here. I've even been told it was really bad and I should just stop. In truth this is a bit of what I'm going for (not the stopping part. I think that was a bit harsh.) I wanted it to be different and lighthearted. It's just supposed to be fun and silly so you have to go into it with a bit of an open mind and it should preferrably be read at three in the morning because those are the conditions in which it is written. (And let me tell you, at three am it is hilarious.)

Anyway. Here is another chapter of mindless, randomness. If you laugh at least once, I'm happy. If you read it and still think I'm crazy, then stop reading it. I won't be offended. You can not like it. That's fine. Go read a different story.

Pride and Prejudice: Abbreviated and Un-fabricated

This chapter is even briefer than a slice of life and so we must therefore call it a "sliver of life"

Over the next few weeks I got to know my bosses pretty well. I picked up on the minute idiosyncrasies and idiotic moments. For instance, I learned that if you give Adam a lemon in his water, he'll cut the lemon to resemble a horrible set of teeth and wear it around in his mouth all day. I also learned that if you let him hold anything when you know that Sarah Golden (the office Golden Girl) will be passing by, he'll get so distracted he'll drop it. (This I learned the hard way. Adam dropped my cell-pone into a fish tank. I'm not sure how…)

I learned things about Danny too. Remember his muffled voice? Yep, that, as fate should have it, is his real voice. He just mutters a lot, but the good thing is I'm starting to understand more of what he says everyday and I still maintain that he said he wanted his desk filled with toffee. Also he tends to get annoyed very easily. I've created this little competition with Sarah Golden (the office Golden Girl) to see who can get him riled up the fastest. I'm the undefeated champion, but mostly because Sarah is too nice to purposely anger someone. (She is rather good at cheesy seductions though, but that's a different story.)

Anyway, I was in the midst of my standard daily annoyance of Danny. I had recently taken to carrying around a clipboard, calling myself Betsy, and wearing glasses to make me look intelligent (minus the lenses. They hurt my eyes so I had to take them out. I feel the effect is still the same.)

"…Carly." He'd said something before this that I couldn't understand. I hoped it was nothing important, then imagined it to be something simple like, "How are you today, Carly?" Then I accidentally replied out loud, "I'm good. How are you?"

Danny looked at me funny. Five seconds later I remembered that that wasn't what Danny had said. Not because I'd heard him, but because Danny never asks friendly questions. But Danny had also quickly learned to ignore me at times like these. "Just make sure you send that letter to the Ambassador and I need a copy of Hansel and Gretel on my desk as soon as you can get it."

"Han Solo, got it," I said brightly in contrast with his dark tone and scribbled on my clipboard. I didn't write "Han Solo." I wrote rubber-ducky. It seemed much more relevant.

"No Hansel, Carly! I don't want Star Wars! I want Hansel and Gretel."

"Oh right! Sorry Danstinator," I said with a bright smile. All I did to my clip board was stab it once with my pen. Danny looked right pissed that I didn't have more to fix on the clip board. I still thought "rubber-ducky" covered it all, but "rubber-ducky" with a period after it seemed fine too.

"Carly, that clip board had better say the words Hansel and Gretel on it," he warned and I tucked my clip board out of sight then shoved my pen behind my ear.

"You have no control on my note taking process, you evil dictator!" I shouted. "And Betsy thinks that my clipboard is just fine without your supervision." In truth, it was quite beautiful. We'd had a meeting earlier regarding the existence of dragons and during it I decorated all my paper so they have these awesome twisty borders around the edge and one now reads "Danny Dardy is a freak from Lithuania!" Betsy thought it was very pretty and I must say I had to agree.

For some reason Danny hated the whole "Betsy" thing. This of course was reason enough for me to get really into the idea. I'd even covered my nameplate on my desk so it now read "Heavens to Betsy!" I'd also taken to punctuating things with exclamation marks. Danny hated exclamation marks. He said they were too fluffy. Or at least I think that's what he'd said…

Well as you can see, dear Reader, things at "work" weren't exactly "normal." Danny was a bit of a brooding psychopath that I once caught banging his head against a wall and shouting the word "Angst!" repeatedly. Adam was a soft, push-over with a crush on an employee, Sarah Golden (the office Golden Girl who now owes me twenty bucks for annoying Danny first), and also a fetish for raspberry Jell-O.

We achieved absolutely nothing throughout the day and I wondered why people came to work. I mean, we could easily have made a time-line concerning the presence of Centaurs in literature from home, couldn't we? Plus how was it all relevant…?

Anyway it was needless to say that me and Betsy were fitting in well here at Dardy and Co..

PS Oasis Blackmore. I fixed it. Good call there...