Hi there! I meant to post this earlier today, but I had to friggin work all day. My feet hurt, but I'm finally posting. So here you go. I think this chapter has a bit more fluff to it. The next cahpter is more plot oriented, this one's a bit of fun and stuff to hint at prospective couples.

Ok... all you now.

Pride and Prejudice: Abbreviated and Un-Fabricated

Just a little ditty, but since it isn't set to music I will make up my own word and call it a pitty

"We really need to focus, people," Danny mumbled to the room. Everyone else nodded in agreement, and, even though I hadn't understood what he'd said, I just joined in. This was another one of our daily office meetings in which we discuss totally pointless junk for absolutely no reason. Danny takes these to be highly important life or death situations.

"We've been at this for three hours Danny! Can't we have a break?" asked Miranda Beetch, who, ironically enough, is a pretty big bitch.

Adam stopped making googly eyes at Sarah Golden (ironically enough her skin is really golden) and looked up. "No, Danny's right. We can have a break when we make some progress."

"Well what do we have so far?" That was Sarah Golden. … Golden nugget… McNugget. Damn it, now I'm hungry!

Adam picked up the piece of paper with our combined notes from this enthralling meeting. "What makes a perfect man," he read aloud. "Miranda says he has to be good in bed, be open-minded, and own either a pair of handcuffs or a stun-gun." Everyone shot Miranda intimidated glances, but she just grinned triumphantly and displayed her wrists. They were oddly bruised… well... at least one of us is getting some.

"I'm in love." She sighed dreamily. It was rather creepy.

Adam quickly popped back in his eyes that were bugged out so far they were almost out of socket. "Sarah says her perfect man would be a fairly insane conspiracy theorist with a Jell-O obsession whose name is Adam. Adam stop reading this out loud. I'm talking about you. Adam you idiot, you are my perfect man," Adam read robotically. He looked up and his face was just as blank as normal. We all blinked at him. Did he really not get it?

Suddenly Sarah stood up and ran out of the room in tears. Oops. Adam just picked back up the piece of paper.

"Carly says that her perfect man would be a rock God that likes to light his hair on fire. He should feed her well… maybe even have the ability to conjure food as if out of nowhere. Preferably candy. He should have telekinetic powers, especially the ability to teleport but she'd settle for the ability to control matter with his mind. Oh and he should have nice biceps."

I nodded. "It's true," I added as everyone looked at me. "People underestimate the biceps."

Danny took this as the perfect time to slam his head against the table… repeatedly.

"Listen, I'm kind of hungry…" I mumbled.

Danny growled and produced a bowl of caramels as if from nowhere. I smiled. It was the nicest thing he'd ever done for me. Plus, caramel is my favorite! Which reminds me… I need to do laundry.

Adam picked up the paper once again. "Danny says that his perfect man would play endless video games with him and always let him win. Oh and he'd be a chick, preferably a hot one; maybe with a very short attention span, an overactive imagination, and a deep-seeded love of caramels."

Danny blushed and mumbled something I couldn't understand, but everyone else laughed so I laughed too; but secretly I was just thinking about those luscious, soft caramels. God, those babies were sexy. You sexy, sexy caramels. How I love thee. I popped a couple into my mouth while no one was looking.

Adam continued to read. "I -Adam that is- said that the perfect man would make me Jell-O pops. He would have absolutely no hair on his body. He would have a luscious chest; curly, blond hair; and golden skin."

My jaw dropped, but I had so many caramels in my mouth that when my jaw dropped they all tumbled out along with a dribble of drool. I couldn't believe he'd said that. "But sir-" I began to complain as I slyly tried to sneak my wad of caramels back into my mouth.

"I know what Carly is going to say!" Miranda Beeotch… erm I mean Bitch… damn I mean Beetch; oh well, whoever she is, she interrupted. "She's going to say that you just described Sarah Golden, the office golden girl."

"Um, no I wasn't." Miranda isn't the only one who can be a bitch… I mean Beetch. "I was going to say that you said your perfect man would have absolutely no hair on his body, but then you said that he would have curly, blond hair. You contradicted yourself, Adam."

Danny just slammed his head against the table again.