Summary: Naruto starts to have nightmares. It's only when he lets his barriers fall that he finds solace in an unlikely place. Set during an alternative storyline where Sasuke doesn't leave. Non-explicit SasuNaru in later chapters. Slash.
Warnings: Un-beta-ed and this story will contain and lead up to the romantic pairing of Naruto and Sasuke. So it will contain slash at some point- so don't continue reading it if you don't like.
Chapter 2
Tsunade's office was subject to constant change- every month she had a different excuse for her paperwork procrastination. This month, the décor was apparently uninspiring. Naruto and Sasuke found themselves waiting for her to un-furrow her brow and acknowledge their presence amid a dozen dust sheets and half-red, half-beige wall, where the attempts to redecorate had seemingly been abandoned. The window, grimy from the years it had gone unwashed, provided a source of annoyance as the weakening September sunlight shone directly in their eyes. Naruto continued to squint into it, hand resting on his forehead in a futile attempt to shade his eyes from damage, where Sasuke glanced at the floor. Finally, and with a lethargic yawn, Tsunade glanced up from the form she was filling in.
"You are both suspended from missions until further notice." Tsunade stated, a mild look of amusement crossing her features at their immediate reactions.
"Isn't that just a little harsh?" Naruto challenged, scowling in outrage.
Sakura had been wrong about one thing- Kakashi had never intended to ignore the issue at all. As soon as they'd returned to the village, he had reported his concerns to the Hokage and she was more than willing to take disciplinary action, calling both Naruto and Sasuke to her office only a day after they had arrived back.
"You are of no value to your team if you can't get through one night without trying to kill each other- it is also unprofessional- you can't turn up to clients looking exhausted. Until you learn to get along, neither of you are carrying out any missions. Understood?"
"But you can't just-"
"Do you understand me?" Tsunade repeated, a dangerous tone to her voice, glowering over her mounting stack of paperwork.
"Fine." Naruto grumbled, arms folded and a stubborn frown settling on his features, "When my heating cuts out because I don't have any money to pay my bills, I'm camping out right here!"
"Go ahead," She half-yawned, already preoccupied with the paperwork and scratching her chin with a pen, "I could use the entertainment."
Sasuke had remained silent throughout the exchange, struggling to stifle a smirk as Naruto continued to get worked up. He rolled his eyes when Naruto turned to him in exasperation.
"Sasuke! Say something to change her mind!"
"This is your fault, idiot!"
Tsunade just sighed as they began arguing. Threats and barbed words shot across the room like shuriken and she began to rub her temples in frustration.
"This is exactly what I'm concerned about! You will be suspended until you can learn to live with each other. I'm well aware you're probably just going to ignore me, so you will dine with each other every night until I see a significant improve-"
"Every night?" Sasuke interjected, "I am not eating with him every night- he'll drag me to that stupid ramen bar-"
"Stupid? How is it stupid?" Naruto yelled, outraged, "You're stupid!"
"Shut up, shut up, shut up!" Tsunade screamed, "Both of you! Out of my office now!"
Dusk truly was his favourite time of the day. It ushered in a lull- a reprieve- from his usually hectic life, even if it only lasted a few hours. The best place to observe the sunset, Naruto had learned, was atop the fourth Hokage's head, the outcrop of rock that etched his stern, paternal disposition into their memories. The horizon unravelled like an age-old tapestry, mirroring the countless watercolour snapshots that lined the corridors in the central tower. He couldn't comprehend how the sky became a blend of fuchsia, orange and scarlet, how the swirl of colours alone was enough to ease him into a sense of security; to magnetise to his worries and allow them to be carried off with the wind, like the rushed wishes muttered breathlessly by a child dropping a coin into a fountain. They would speed away, erasing the tension from his shoulders, releasing sighs of exhaustion that he'd been fighting all day. When he watched the sunset, his façade would drop. High up here, no observers, no expectations, Naruto shed his vivaciousness and truly, completely relaxed.
The sunset wasn't offering a chance for meditation today. He wasn't tired from pushing himself to hard, to his very limits- he was tired because he'd been too scared to close his eyes for even a moment since the nightmare he'd endured on their messenger mission. He was struggling to keep his eyes open now with the wind whispering a sweet lullaby in his ear, the rustling of leaves in the trees offering lethargic undercurrents to the natural rhythm of his breathing. In. Out. And he felt himself unravelling.
"What are you doing?" was the sharp interjection to his reverie.
He jolted back to reality so quickly he felt as though he was about to slip forward and off the mountain. Regaining his balance, he turned to challenge this intruder only to be struck by confusion at the sight of Sasuke, imposing and barely discernable in the dying light. The incomprehension left him speechless, if only momentarily, and Sasuke eyed him warily.
"How did you find me up here?" Naruto muttered, avoiding eye contact, contact with that unnerving glare that was causing a sense of guilt to creep up from his stomach. He felt as though he'd been caught in a state of undress.
"I'm hungry." Sasuke stated. His eyes were oddly fixated on the blurs of clouds overhead. Naruto scowled- Just ignore my question then, bastard- and stretched. At least Sasuke had saved him from a possible nightmare.
"And?" he retorted, struggling to stand up and startled from his near loss of balance earlier.
"Have you seriously forgotten?" Sasuke didn't wait for a reply, simply stalked up to him and yanked him up by the arm, much to Naruto's discomfort. Ungratefully, Naruto pulled away from Sasuke's touch, throwing in an unnoticed glare for good measure. Sasuke had already paced ahead, annoyance emanating from the tension in his shoulders.
"Wait!" Naruto yelled, jogging to keep up, "So… where are we eating?"
His question was met with silence; it seemed Sasuke had done enough talking for the night. They ended up in Naruto's favourite place anyway, and he was left slightly speechless when he realised where Sasuke had led him. It was the ramen bar- his very favourite- which, if he remembered correctly, was the very same place Sasuke had been calling stupid earlier. He sank down into the stool next to Sasuke, still slightly incredulous. Why here?
"You love this place too!?" he enquired excitedly, turning to face Sasuke fully, grinning. After initial panic, Sasuke struggled against the urge to roll his eyes. Instead, he settled for mirroring Tsunade's earlier actions, rubbing his temples and shielding the affectionate curve of his lips from view.
"No- I'm just not in the mood for arguing with you."
"Yeah, whatever!" Naruto exclaimed, the genuine grin was then transferred onto the usual waitress, Ayumi, "The usual, please, and uh-"
Sasuke ordered his food and attempted, mainly failed, to drown out Naruto's voice while they waited for the food. Naruto finally quietened down when the food arrived but not without yawning and stretching first, almost sending both steaming hot bowls flying through the air. They both then proceeded to eat in silence with the occasional slurps from Naruto's side.
"You guys!" Ayumi pitched in at the end of their meal. She leaned over the bar and lowered her voice to a whisper "Take it from me- you're supposed to be more communicative on dates!"
"What are you saying?" Naruto hissed, casting a wary glance across the bar, relieved to see that Sasuke also had a look of horror upon his face.
She was then giggling behind her hand, muttering something about "just teasing" and "seriously, guys get so threatened when you bring that up…"
The silence deepened considerably as she retreated into the back with the pile of bowls, barely managing to stay balanced. Naruto cleared his throat, attempting to dispel the awkwardness that had suddenly settled.
"I- uh- didn't mean what I said the other night," Naruto murmured, refusing to look up, the guilt of the memory still raw and smarting.
"I don't recall-" Sasuke started, swiftly trying to rack his memories- Naruto hadn't said anything embarrassingly affectionate during that fight, did he? He'd been too focussed on hurting him to notice much else. He remembered, though, that Naruto's eyes had been positively sub-human, primal- they'd struck a deep, unnerving chord of discomfort within him which he didn't want to recall. It had seemed like pure hatred but, if he tried harder to picture it, really they had been cold, hungry, predatory…
"I said that I hated you but I don't so-" Naruto said very rapidly.
"Oh," Sasuke muttered. Naruto had gathered enough courage to look up once again and the look of confusion, mild fear, slipped from Sasuke's face. His eyes narrowed.
"What did you think I meant?" he demanded, slight affront in his voice. He succeeded in making that look return, "Just teasing- seriously, you need to lighten up."
The next thing Naruto did he regretted immediately. He met Sasuke's gaze, and forced himself to smile and he felt the strain, realising that, this close, these fake smiles probably just weren't going to cut it. His shabby mask was transparent in the bar's cheap lighting and he saw the suspicion flood Sasuke's eyes.
"Are you ill?" Sasuke asked. Naruto forced his eyes not to widen and bit down the resentful tirade that was hovering on the tip of his tongue, ready to release itself. The mounting pressure from maintaining this positive façade was torturing him. Of course, if it slipped for just a moment, people were just going to assume he was ill, exhausted, having an off day. If Naruto was sad he was just kidding, right?
He averted his eyes.
"I'm fine." He lied.
He'd never found his bed this comfortable, this soft and inviting. The pillows and duvets caressed him, eased the pressure, drowned out the sound of the thoughts that refused to let him be. Rhythmically, his earlier sense of peace returned to him with no dusky light to guide it. It materialised, white hot and searing against the blank cinema screen of his mind. In. Out. And he felt himself unravelling.
The light wasn't inescapable this time, just focussed. It served as an imprecise spotlight, a barely discernable marker to some sort of treasure. The ray of moonlight was the only hopeful sign on the whole of the landscape, as starless and wide as it was. Endlessly expansive, the barren plains appeared to go on forever, as though they had been placed there deliberately- a blanket to conceal some awful secret.
He was drawn, moth-like, to this solitary source of hope. Something there awaited him. It beckoned to him, drawing him in by his very soul. Latching on to everything that was secret, like a puppeteer anxious to showcase their latest prize, this otherworldly force pulled, lustful to own the darkness that shadowed his every move.
The light did not offer hope; it offered release.
Entering the light left him momentarily blind and breathless.
"… This… is your… punishment…"
The whisper was carried on the wind, passed right next to his ear, echoed everywhere.
And then he felt her- her icy grip had found purchase on his neck. She was squeezing, forcing all of the air out of his lungs. He fell to his knees, silently pleading, dizzy.
Sakura's scream shot through the air once again and catapulted him awake.
Still gasping, he burst into his bathroom and fumbled for the light, grateful for pain the sudden burst of illumination caused to his barely adjusted eyes, the darkness it erased immediately. He ached all over and the memory of that thing's grip was still imprinted across his throat. Breathless, he stumbled to the mirror and blanched.
There were bruises across his neck.
A/N: Reviews and constructive criticism welcome! Chapter named from lyrics of Run (by Snow Patrol or Leona Lewis, depending on which version you prefer- I honestly can't decide!). The last chapter was named after lyrics from I Need You To Love Me by BarlowGirl.