Hi! Sorry it's been so long. I just haven't had much inspiration and I figured it was best not to push it. Ok well, it's back!

… So who here read Harry Potter?!

This one's for my brother, who has always wanted a double-barreled-water-balloon-shooter of his own and also inspired this chapter.

Pride and Prejudice: Abbreviate and Un-fabricated

This is a dastardly combination of plot-devices. Since they are so dastardly we shall call them "dlots" for "dreadful" and "plots"

"To my dearest Stephen. Here's your damn article. I purposely spelled words wrong just to thwart you in hopes that your face would turn that lovely shade of purple I enjoy so much. Ok. I've officially converted to the Dark Side, Darth. Does this mean I get a raise? Love Carly."

My hand hovered over the "send" button. Oh God! If I sent this, it would be one of the last things I did as Dardy and Co. employee. Ironically enough, it would also be one of the first things I did as a Dardy and Co. employee. I laughed at the thought of being upset over losing a job where I did absolutely nothing but discuss the emotional implications of fortune cookies like we'd done this morning in our meeting. In a heave of laugher I contorted and accidentally clicked my mouse, which was still hovering over the "send" button, causing me to send my e-mail and along with it my article. But I was still laughing so hard that I had yet to notice.

Suddenly, I was pelted in the head by a water balloon while another one hit my desk and knocked over a picture of me and my imaginary boyfriend Trevor. The glass cracked and Trevor's face is obscured now, but that was the least of my concerns at the moment.

"What was that?" I asked looking up at Adam.

"You were just attacked by my double-barreled-water-balloon-shooter," he replied proudly holding up his weapon of choice with a wide-mouthed grin.

I turned my head to the side. Adam's double-barreled-water-balloon-shooter looked precariously like a black lacy bra, but I dared not say that out loud for fear that Adam would tell the tale of how he obtained his double-barreled-water-balloon-shooter that was actually a bra. "What's in these balloons?" I asked just noticing the icky brown goo all over my desk and splattered against the wall behind me. Luckily, there was none on my hair.

Adam smiled again and stuck his finger in the goo. "It's pudding. I couldn't find water."

"You do know it comes out of the sink, don't you?" I asked, also taking a finger-full of goo.

"Is that the silver stick? Yeah I took that off to use as a telescope during our pirate re-enactment for yesterday's meeting."

"Hmm," I muttered through the goo. "This is good."

"You like? It's raspberry flavor," Adam replied as he began to lick the wall in hopes of getting more goo.

Just as Adam said this, Danny Dardy appeared in my area. Danny Dardy seems to appear in my area quite a bit and I would have voiced this opinion had my mouth not been glued shut by goo. "Please tell me that's something edible and not what it looks like," Danny muttered with morbid curiosity at the scene.

Adam quickly stopped licking my wall and shot his double-barreled-water-balloon-shooter at Danny with a whoop of excitement almost like a battle cry. Danny's balloons didn't pop so he picked one up and squeezed it with his left hand while Adam shouted, "You just got attacked by my double-barreled-water-balloon-shooter!"

Danny rolled his eyes and bit the balloon just enough that he could suck out some pudding. "Do they even make raspberry flavored pudding?" he asked as he took another squeeze and winced at the after-taste.

Adam shrugged. Odd that he didn't seem to know considering that he was, hopefully, the one that'd made it.

I picked up Danny's other balloon that had hit the wall behind Danny and rolled back to nestle against my chair all without breaking. "I'm wondering why it's called a double-barreled-water-balloon-shooter, when it really shoots pudding balloons. Shouldn't it be a double-barreled-pudding-balloon-shooter?"

Danny looked impressed, as if I actually had a point and my gibberish was finally making sense, but Adam hadn't heard my ponderings. He was distracted by Sarah Golden who had just wondered into my area clutching her chest rather uncomfortably and blushing like mad. "Adam," she hissed, "that's not a toy. Give it back."

Danny and my eyes grew wide. Adam just smiled wickedly and loaded up his double-barreled-water-balloon-shooter. He aimed right at Sarah and smiled, but before he could fire Sarah clutched her chest tighter and cried, "That's my bra you thieving prick and if you don't give it back I'll make sure you never get to second base again." Then she ran quickly out of the room.

Adam followed closely in her wake, not to console her or return her double-barreled-water-balloon-shooter, but because he'd never gotten to fire his double-barreled-water-balloon-shooter and he never lets a target go free. Danny's eyes met mine and for the very first time ever, Danny Dardy laughed.

I would have laughed with him, but I'd only just realized that I'd accidentally sent my article to Stephen… Uh. Oh.