Originally this chapter included a lot more plot and a lot more Steven Valen being all cute romantic talking about their relationship, but there was so much that it really needed to be split into two chapters.

Chapter 21 will be out soon-ish(?), but I'm not gonna make any promises. My writing schedule is more based on when I feel like writing instead of trying to stick to a set schedule, and so far it seems to be working!

Happy Reading! - AX

"Valen! Valen, where are you!?" Nothing. No thoughts, no feelings, no sounds of hissing or rasping. No breaking of branches or rustling of leaves. Not even the faintest whisper of a breeze blowing through the forest. Their little world was silent & stale.

Never before had Steven felt so alone.

And his back was stiff. That was just the perfect shitty icing on the shitty cake.

He'd been dropped off at the storage unit-turned-laboratory while it was still early in the morning. He'd managed to get a few hours of sleep by making a bed out of the discarded plastic, and packing peanuts Ursula had left haphazardly stuffed into a spare shipping crate. He'd been prepared to go find Valen the minute he got dropped off…

But then he realized he couldn't actually open the airlock to get in;

And the security guard who was responsible for opening it was off-duty or asleep;

And Ursula had told him not to contact her unless it was an emergency.

Besides, he'd told himself. It'll be easier to find him once it's light out.

"You're a real genius sometimes, you know that?" Steven grumbled to himself under his breath. Sure, Valen was big. It was impossible to ignore him when wanted attention, and Valen wanted his attention almost constantly. Unfortunately for him, Steven had forgotten that Valen was also deceptively agile and stealthy. He was a Xenomorph after all. Steven knew it would be nearly impossible to find Valen if he didn't want to be found. And it's not like Valen even needed to be nearby, he could just telepathically locate Steven wherever he went. Damnit, if he was the one with telepathy, he'd be able to track Valen down in no time.

But he couldn't. He'd been searching for hours already, and Valen could be hiding anywhere. Up in the foliage of the forest, immersed in a pond, hiding in the bushes, all of them were places that he could hide himself. Hell, Valen could literally be 10 feet away from him right now, and he'd have no clue. He'd checked everywhere where he thought he might be, their home camp, the river, his favorite hunting spots, anywhere he could think of…

Except the campsite… He cupped his hands to his mouth and shouted, "Valen! Where are you?"

Nothing.

"Please Valen, I just want to talk!"

Still nothing. An endless mountain of nothing resounded through the utter still of the forest. Sigh.

"Fuck…" If he was anywhere by now, that was the place. Steven leaned down, trying to stretch his aching lower back out, then turned on his heels and reluctantly began his hike back to the fateful campground.

The sharp precise rhythmic knocking on her door informed her that Goodwin was here. Exactly on time, as always. Honestly, if meticulous attention to detail was a competitive sport, Goodwin could have been an interplanetary league champion.

"Come in Goodwin," She called out. No need to treat him any differently than she usually did. As far as he knew, the status quo was completely undisturbed.

"Do you have the report?" He asked, cutting right to the chase, extending his hand without even looking at her. His eyes were on a clipboard in his hand, skimming some other paperwork that was clearly more important than hers.

By now this kind of transaction was automatic, a routine that needed to be completed so they could get on with the rest of the day. Goodwin obviously loathed her stubborn refusal to submit her reports electronically, because lately she was always 'too busy' to deliver them herself.

"I have it here somewhere," She feigned looking around, as if she'd forgotten where she put the stack of reports. "Just give me a second."

Goodwin rolled his eyes. "Make it quick. I have other things to do today."

Ursula knew it was petty, but dammit it felt good getting under his skin like that. At least, she assumed at she was getting under his skin.

Ursula had never really interacted with Goodwin before assuming her new position. To her, he was just another bureaucrat running around in the background somewhere, doing whatever he did for the business side of the company while she & her fellow researchers did the actual hard work. Even now that she was working personally with the little weasel, her opinion hadn't changed much. It was clear by now that he had some vendetta against her, but Urusla had just assumed that was because he was enjoying abusing his position.

But now that Steven had gotten her thinking, she wondered if that was really all Goodwin was doing. Aside from berating her and collecting reports, Ursula had realized she knew almost nothing about Goodwin. Not about his job, his interests, his dislikes. Not even the most surface level information like his age, or his last name. Well maybe I'll make an effort to learn a little more about him.

"You do things Goodwin?" Ursula's eyebrows raised in mock astonishment. "Forgive me, I was under the impression your whole job was berating me."

"I know it must feel that way to you Dr. Nigel, but unlike you, I actually have more important things to do than write reports and pamper my pets all day." His tone was dry and condescending as always, but there was a touch of annoyance hidden in his tone. He wanted to prove her wrong, to shame her.

Well that didn't take much prodding. On the inside she was smirking, but externally she just shrugged and nonchalantly asked, "Well how would I know? The only time I see you is when you throw my reports away, or when the Board wants to spew asinine complaints about my job performance."

"Well," Goodwin pushed his glasses up on his piggy little nose. "Given the… questionable, decision-making you've displayed since assuming your new position..."
"Spare me the lecture," Ursula cut off his barb. She glared at him to punctuate her point…

There it is.

Behind the familiar smirk, that smug aura of superiority, the obvious pleasure he was taking in making her miserable, she saw it. Slipping through the mask of bemused superiority.

In his eyes. That cold, bitter stare. As if he was willing her to drop dead on the spot.

It was only there for an instant, quickly slipping back beneath his usual disdain.

But it was unmistakable. That's why he was complicit in whatever was going on. Goodwin hated her. She didn't know why, but there was no doubt in her mind. And if he hated her…

"Actually, Ursula," Goodwin straightened his back and adjusted his suit-tie. "I think that I should inform you that in light of recent events, there is some talk on the Board about your fitness for this position…"

Then how much further will this go? What has Goodwin been doing without me even suspecting it? How did I not suspect this before?

Before Ursula could stop herself, she whirled on Goodwin.

"Oh cut the shit Goodwin," She shouted, rounding her desk and getting directly in his face. Channeling her pent up frustration, she slapped the clipboard out of his hand and jabbed him in his oh-so-pristine pocket protector hard enough to make him flinch. "You and I both know the real reason why I'm in shit with the Board, you officious little prick!"

The sudden outburst caught him off guard. His eyes went wide and his Adam's apple bobbed several times before he could even stammer a response, "You… I mean we… how did.. did Julius…?"

And there it was. His motive. His real motive. Instead of smiling in triumph at the confirmation, she feigned confusion. "What does Julius have to do with this?

"I… Well he's not… What I mean to say is that..." Goodwin closed his eyes and took a deep breath, clearly trying to regain his usual composure. "Nothing. I was merely distracted by something else."

Oh sure, Ursula restrained the urge to roll her eyes. Real convincing there Goodwin.

"Okaaay," She deliberately drew her words out & handed him a folder laying on top of another stack of papers on her desk, trying her best to sound weirded out by his response.

"Sorry about yelling at you… Here's the report. Are… are you okay?" She asked with a tone that meant what she really wanted to say was "I don't want to get involved with whatever is going on with you, but I don't want to ignore the outburst or provoke you further, so I'm hoping you'll just say you're fine & go away."

"Yes yes, I'm fine," Goodwin stammered, seizing the out she had given him from his faux pas with both hands. "Thank you for the report. Good day."

Before she could say anything else Goodwin scooped up his clipboard, attached her stack of papers to the list, and paced out of the room as quickly as he could.

The Julius thing really freaked Goodwin out, Ursula smirked to herself. That slip up was enough to make him lose his composure. Enough for him not to notice anything had gone missing.

Ursula's smirk grew into a wide grin as she pulled the keychain with Goodwin's ID and clearance badges out from the sleeve of her lab coat. The ones she had swiped from his belt while she had been up in his face and jabbing his chest.

She didn't know how long it would be before he noticed they were gone. Time was ticking.

Forcing herself to remain calm and composed, she carefully walked to the door, locked it securely, wedged one of the guest chairs under the handle before she picked up her desk phone. The secure, unauthorized, communications line only a few people knew about.

Ursula had a call to make.

Valen peered at Kirchoff, trudging and grunting his way along, from the safety of a distant perch in a pine tree. Silent and unseen, blending into the shroud of branches and leaves around him. A shadow.

Kirchoff was heading back to the campsite. It was the absolute last place he wanted to go back to right now. Even if Valen couldn't feel how distressed and conflicted he was, he'd known him long enough to know how hard this was.

To return to the place where it had all happened last night.

And yet Kirchoff was determined. Not once had his resolve wavered from his goal. Despite the aches in his back, the tiredness in his legs, or the ache of his injuries, Kirchoff was going to find him, and he was going to talk to him. About everything.

Not for the first time today, Valen felt a pang of deep, stinging guilt. He was the one who had hurt him. He was the one who made Kirchoff see him as a monster. Valen was desperate to apologize, to let Kirchoff berate him, hurt him, anything as long as it would make Kirchoff forgive him. And yet…

He couldn't make himself go to him. No matter how much he tried, his brain refused to make his body move towards Kirchoff. This indecision had been paralyzing him for hours upon hours, and yet he did not know why. Why was he just stalking him, silent and unseen for hours upon hours? Why couldn't he just go to him?

Of course he'd been staying as close to Kirchoff as he could since he felt him last night. Even just the few hours of separation from him had been utterly agonizing, and not just because he felt the sickness of isolation creeping in as he waited.

But now that Kirchoff was searching for him, with his thoughts entirely focused on finding him to talk everything out…

So why can't I talk to him? He asked himself for what must have been the hundredth time, hoping beyond hope that he'd get an answer.

Because you're a coward. Much to his surprise, the answer came. There was no voice in his head other than his own, but nevertheless the answer came to him.

However, it wasn't an answer he was expecting either. Valen suppressed his hiss of irritation at himself. Scared? What do I have to be scared about?

Losing him. For real this time. Because it will be nobody's fault but yours. It felt as if he had plunged into an icy stream, chilling his blood and drawing the air from his lungs.

Fuck me.

He'd known exactly why he was so afraid. He just didn't want to acknowledge it. To admit it. It was easier to avoid it, to stay silent and hidden while his guilt ate him up inside. His indecision and cowardice… What… what should I do?

Again he answered himself. Stop being a coward. Go to him.

I'm an asshole sometimes, Valen snarked at himself. You know that right?

I know. He told himself. Now go to him. You know it's the only way.

Yeah, I know. Valen exhaled a long, weary hiss. He could deceive Kirchoff, he could hide from him, and he could run from him, but he couldn't hide from himself.

This had better not become a regular thing, he huffed at himself.

Only if you're being stupid, he replied back.

So only when I'm thinking about Kirchoff huh? Valen smirked.

No reply. Sigh.

He was scared of what might happen. About what Kirchoff might say. To find out what the consequences of his outburst would be.

For his whole life, he'd almost always been able to read people, their actions, their intentions, their emotions. He could peer into the deepest parts of a person's soul as if glancing through a crystal clear the first time, he was completely unsure of what was coming next.

Valen was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he almost missed Kirchoff's shout, "Valen, I know you're here somewhere! There's no way you're not!"

Kirchoff knew he was here. Valen could feel it, his utter assurance that he was nearby. Kirchoff hadn't seen any evidence of him the entire time Valen had been stalking him, and yet he was completely confident that Valen was here.

Kirchoff had dug the camping chair out from the mess of equipment, and was seated in front of the charred remnants of the campfire.

"Look…" Kirchoff hesitated, trying to figure out how best to express his thoughts and emotions through words. "I don't want to just talk about the injury." I want to talk. About us.

And yet Valen still couldn't bring himself to respond. Valen had been tailing Kirchoff from the second he'd set foot back in the forest enclosure, and yet his fear still paralyzed him. His indecision locked him in place. Unable to just say something. Anything.

"I'm… I'm sorry I reacted the way I did when you confessed to me," Kirchoff continued, unaware of the emotional turmoil raging inside Valen. "It… it just kind of came out of nowhere. I mean… I guess I kinda knew how you felt, but I didn't know that… What I mean to say is…"

Kirchoff stumbled over his words, his own conflicting emotions raging inside him. Fighting his own guilt, his own indecision, his own insecurities, to try and find the perfect words to say.

"It's just that… I've had so much happen to me, so many shitty, awful things that I…"

No, I'm sorry…

"Valen!?" Steven's head jerked up, eyes swiveling and head rotating, searching for him. He'd heard him, clear as day.

"Are… are you there?" He asked, the hope and fear he felt competing to express themselves more.

I have been from the start. Valen's distinct black crest rose from a thick patch of bushes and long grass along the treeline. The vegetation obscuring him disappeared with several quick flashes of his claws…

And there he was. His hulking, towering frame topped by his thick, armored crest. Claws glinting in the light piercing through the trees. Tail swishing gently, the bladed tip slicing through foliage like paper.

Steven stood so fast he knocked the cheap plastic chair over. He almost tripped from trying to run in two opposite directions at the same time, his legs nearly catching on themselves trying to obey the conflicting orders they were receiving from his brain. Before Steven could make up his mind either way, Valen closed the distance between them with a speed that Steven had never seen before. Almost before he could blink Valen was standing there, mere inches away in front of him.

Steven practically felt all the adrenaline in his body drain into his bloodstream at once. His pulse pounded in his ears, palms were sweating, his teeth were chattering, and his knees felt like they were going to give out.

I'm sorry I made you feel this way around me. No snark. No underhanded compliment. No verbal jabs. Valen was trying to… I am… And I am so, so sorry for…

"No, I'm sorry," Steven cut him off. He needed to apologize now, to get this off his chest before the fear made him do something else dumb. To make everything right. "You were trying to tell me something deeply personal, and my own trauma… I just reacted without thinking… and I'm so sorry… I just…"

Kirchoff! Valen snapped at him, cutting him off. A sharp stab of pain in his temples made his head ache.

Can I speak? Valen sounded frustrated, clearly upset at being cut off.

"Can I?" Steven snapped back, equally frustrated.

They stood together for a moment, silently staring at each other. Steven's body was tense, primed to run at a moment's notice. Valen stood perfectly still, towering above him like a shadowy statue. Neither of them moved. Standing as still as the air…

Until Steven farted.

Just a small, terrified little squeak that shattered the tension between them like a brick through a window. Steven collapsed, gasping to suck in air between laughing fits. Valen was on all fours, rasping and gagging like a stalling car engine. Their shared hilarity at the whole situation was too much for either of them to handle.

When he felt that he could finally squeak a sentence out, Steven gasped, "Oh… my god… We are sobad at this!"

I hate to agree with you, Valen's voice still sounded like he was about to burst into giggles. But yes. Yes we are. Especially you.

"Oh yeah, as if," Steven shot right back. "Your timing sucks!"

I'll give you that one, Valen still sounded amused, but Steven could feel the twinge of guilt that statement evoked.

"So… did you want to go first?" Steven rolled onto his side, breathing deep to calm his giggles. "I cut you off first after all."

Thank you. Again, there wasn't a hint of snark in his tone. Steven couldn't help but feel a little better. Valen was taking this so seriously, and he wouldn't do that unless it was really, really important to him too. I'm the one who should be sorry… about everything, how it all played out.

I was just so desperate for you to feel the same way about me as I feel about you that...

Raw, unfiltered emotion laced his words. Valen's guilt, his shame, his self-hatred, and his confusion with feeling these new, complex emotions were all mixed in with words. Steven could feel what Valen had been experiencing, what he had been agonizing over since he confessed to him. Since he had accidentally injured him.

I didn't think about anything else. I wanted you to feel the same way as I did. I wanted you to love me like I loved you… A single tear, a tear that wasn't his own ran down Steven's face. Was he… was Valen…?

I'm so sorry Kirchoff. I'm so sorry I hurt you. Valen quietly gagged and rasped as he sobbed, leaning forwards, digging rents in the grass with his claws. Trying to catch his breath as his fear and grief and shame were finally given release. Never in a million years would Steven ever have guessed he'd live to see a Xenomorph crying. I promise I'll never hurt you ever again.

"It… It's okay," Steven felt his words more than he said them. "I understand Valen."

No you don't! Valen cut him off before he could finish his thought. I've never felt this way about anyone but you. I… I want to be with you.

Steven's mind felt as if it was swept up in a sudden whirlwind. A storm made of memory and emotion, ones that weren't his own.

…The soft, delicate feeling of his hands running over every inch of his body, carefully inspecting for the slightest hint of permanent damage. His own staunch concern for Valen flooded him as Valen had felt it. A paradoxical mix of his own emotions fed back to him through Valen's telepathic connection with him…

I want to protect you. I want to keep you safe from anything that could ever hurt you…

…The warmth of his body, shielded from the outside world by his own, was an angelic glow against his chest. His soft, fragile frame, so unaware of its own fragile existence, protected from anything that could hurt him…

You've risked so much, and put so much on the line for me. You've sacrificed so much for me. And you…

…Julianne, the torturer, pressed the needle into his arm. Steven felt his own pain as Valen had, every bit as painful as he felt it himself. Yet Valen gave the searing pain of burning lead in his blood. Valen felt nothing but terror and concern for him, and a burning, overwhelming hatred for everyone and everything that hurt him like this…

You're the only person who has ever given me hope for the future. You've shown me how much joy and happiness there is in this life…

…The smug satisfaction of winning their first chess game… The utter joy of the cool breeze brushing against his skin as he leapt from the treetops… Losing himself in the fantasy world that unfolded from the pages of a book, blossoming into a vivid reality in his own thoughts…

I never thought about anything beyond my captivity before I met you.

…The sight of yet another scientist, clad in a white lab coat, staring at him from the side of an impenetrable barrier. Hidden from view and yet crystal clear to him. Ignoring his inane bluster, ribbing and teasing him to the point of rage…

…And the utter isolation that slowly consumed him when he had left…

Steven, I love you, Valen stepped forwards, gently pressing his face into his forehead. I don't even know if I can feel love the same way as you… or if you'll even feel the same way about me, but I love you Kirchoff.

Steven didn't draw away. He didn't try to clear his thoughts, to make rational sense of the events unfolding in his head. To come to some rational conclusion. Steven pressed his forehead back into Valen's, reciprocating his touch, his affection.

Valen, I never said I didn't feel the same way about you.

What? Valen broke the embrace, but only enough to fix his gaze on his face.

I said I needed to think about it, Steven replied, closing the gap between them. His face pressed into the smooth carapace, still warm from his touch. Ursula gave me some advice.

You mean she kicked your ass and told you to stop sulking? Valen asked, a hint of the familiar snark worming back into his tone. It didn't feel as harsh and biting as it usually did. It was playful, fun, poking fun at him. God, how he had missed it.

More or less. Kirchoff chuckled.

Didn't even need to feel your thoughts to know she did that. Valen smirked. It was true, he didn't need to. Ursula was many things, but she wasn't someone who beat around the bush.

And I have something that I want to tell you, Kirchoff pressed a finger to where Valen's lips would have been to cut off his reply, But not here. Once we're back home I will, I promise. I don't want to tell you in a place that's so heavy with bad memories.

Kirchoff…

And just call me Steven from now on, he said, gently. That's my real name.

I… Even though Valen could feel every emotion, read every thought, and understand Kirchoff on a level nobody else ever could, he was still confused. I don't understand. You're Steven Kirchoff. That's your full name, right?

Kirchoff chuckled, and the bubbling joy wrapped Valen in what felt like the sweetest, warmest embrace he'd ever felt. I mean, you're not wrong, so I can't get upset at you for not getting it.

It's like, Kirchoff is… was… well I guess he's who I was when I came here. He fled here to escape a life he saw no other escape from other than death. A last resort to leave everything behind and start over. And I just…

Valen remembered what Kirchoff had been like when they first met. Short tempered, easily frustrated, unempathetic. He had been clever, sure, but his lack of foresight had…

It led us to where we are now. For a change, Kirchoff… no, Steven, interrupted his thoughts . But I don't want to be him anymore. I mean, Kirchoff is still 'me' , but he's the 'me' I don't want to be anymore. He's just so angry, and frustrated, and impulsive, and traumatized, and sad… and he's not who I want to be anymore. I want to be better. I'd rather deal with all my shit, and let Kirchoff lie.

The small, unassuming man standing before him smiled a soft, gentle, kind smile. I'd rather be Steven.

It's a pleasure to meet you Steven, Valen smiled back. Pleasure to meet you.

Pleasure to meet you too dork, Steven sassed back at him, and kissed him on cheek. Now let's go home, I have something I wanna tell you.

This is a turning point for this story in my opinion. My writing skills, my life experiences, and my approach to writing have all evolved so much since I started writing, but I've also never left this story abandoned. I've always come back to UT to update it, edit it, rewrite it, and add more to it.

But this is the first time I've actually been able to write how I want to write for this story. I feel that I've finally reached a level of quality in my writing that I can be proud of and not need to make significant stylistic changes going forwards. I wanna explore deeper themes with the story and characters in my future stories, but UT has always been shaped by the initial framework, and no amount of editing or rewriting will change that. It's a silly little sci-fi romance thriller, but I love the characters in this world and I wanna make them the best they can be.

You might be able to tell that I really want to explore more thematic elements and have been sprinkling them in more and more. It makes writing far more interesting for me, and it also ties into my desire to really dive into a making the relationship between Valen Steven more nuanced. I love these two idiots, and I love their dynamic, and I want to make it as good as I possibly can.

Ursula is also a hell of a lot of fun to write, especially as there is a lot more plot going on behind the scenes with her rather than with just Valen Steven.

If you wanna learn more about the characters, check out the UT short story anthology I'm writing on AO3: users/AmorousXenomorph/works/45450373

It's just one story so far, but I've got a few more coming down the line (eventually x3).

And as always, thank you for reading! I do read the comments too, so if you have any feedback don't be afraid to let me know! - AX