Leo's eyes fluttered open slowly and groggily hours later. He moved his good arm up to his eyes and carefully rubbed them, trying to clear the sleep from the brown orbs so he could see more clearly. He bit back a groan as the small movement caused his body to erupt in pain. Leo took a few fast pained breaths and carefully lowered his arm back to the couch and tried to stay very still to avoid anymore.

He was having a lot of trouble remembering how he had come to be in this situation. Where was this situation? From what Leo could tell, he had never been in this place before. It didn't look like the sewers. His brow knotted in frustration as he tried to figure out what had happened to him. He remembered being on the roof, thinking on the fight he and Raph had. His stomach twisted at the thought of the fight and he quickly pushed it from his mind. Then there was the SOS, he had run off to help his brothers. Leo thought harder, trying to recall everything from his memory.

There was a soft coo next to him, and he turned his head slightly and saw the small orange tabby cat from before lying on his pillow next to his head. She was looking at him with calculating eyes, her bushy tail twitching softly across his neck, tickling his skin. Leo smiled and decided to chance moving his arm to stroke the cat. He had realized, not long after awakening the first time, that the presence in his mind that had pulled him from his world of darkness had been her. He didn't know how she had gotten through to him, or what it meant, but he just knew it was her. She had been an unthreatening and unbiased presence in his mind and somehow that had coaxed him out of the darkness.

Her presence was still a large comfort to him, almost as it had been in his mind. He closed his eyes and felt her face rub lightly on his nose. All of the disturbing thoughts of how he had gotten here disappeared from his mind as he focused his attention on the orange cat next to his head. As the soft hair from her tail brushed lightly across his face, Leo's mind began to drift to thoughts of Isabel. Her face suddenly flooded his thoughts and he drew a long shuddering breath in response to a pain that was anything but physical. He let his eyes close and tried to swallow the lump forming in his sore throat. Now was not the time to lose it. One concerned meow from the small animal next to him brought him back to the present and the pain ebbed slightly. He smiled thankfully at the cat and continued to pet her soft head, taking comfort in her presence.

"Leonardo." A soft voice said from his side. Leo gingerly moved his head, and over the fur of the tabby he was able to make out his father's face looking at him with concern. He tried to say something, but his throat was dry and it came out more as a croak. He swallowed hard, trying to clear it. Splinter seemed to understand what was the matter and rushed off to get him a glass of water. When he returned, he tenderly lifted Leo's head from the pillow and gently held the cup to his lips, allowing Leo to drink at his own pace. Leo closed his eyes in bliss as he felt the cold water run down his irritated throat. When he was finished, his throat felt much better.

"Thank you," he said softly, his underused voice barely above a whisper.

"Your welcome, son." Splinter said, a smile on his face. Leo watched his father, realizing for the first time how much older he looked. It looked like Splinter had lost weight, and his eyes were dark around the edges, and there was graying hair where there was none before. Leo wondered what had happened to bring such stress to his father. It didn't take him long to realize it was probably him.

"Sensei, I'm sorry." He apologized thickly.

"What ever for?" Splinter asked, surprised.

"I…I have burdened all of you." Leo said weakly, averting his gaze.

Splinter watched Leonardo with a troubled expression. He could see the hints of depression in his son's eyes as clear as day. How could he have missed them before? Now Leo was taking a situation that was not even his fault and using it to add to his own burdens and perceived failures. Splinter could not allow that to happen. It would take time to break through his son's mental anguish, but he would not allow him to keep adding to it.

"My son, what has happened here is not your fault." He said, his voice hard and certain. "You came to be here by risking your life to save your brothers. There is nothing to be sorry for. You should be deeply proud of yourself. They are all here and unharmed because of you."

Leo looked at his father, uncertainty still written across his features. Suddenly the memory of the fight with the leader of the Purple Dragons came flooding back to him. He remembered getting his shell kicked, but most importantly he remembered Raph held down, a sword at his neck. He suddenly tried to sit up in a panic, but was hindered by an immense wave of pain in response to his movement. He gasped loudly, trying to catch his breath. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to escape from the intense pain. Splinter grabbed Leo's body lightly and carefully moved him back down to the couch.

"Be careful my son," Splinter said softly. "You are still not well."

"Raph," Leo managed through gasps. "Is he ok? He was being held. I tried…is he ok?" Leo finished, his breath coming quickly, worry deep in his eyes.

"He is well." Splinter said, trying to calm his son. He turned and pointed a furry finger in the direction of a large old chair only a few feet away. Leo took a deep relieved breath as he saw his red clad brother curled up in the beaten chair, fast asleep, snoring softly. His body began to relax and he sank back into the cushions of the couch. His eyes were still clouded with pain, but it felt lessened now that he knew all of his brothers were ok. He remembered his reunion with Mikey and Donny the day before, and it warmed his heart. But Raph hadn't been there, did that mean he still hated him? He glanced again at his sleeping brother and found his breath hitch.

Splinter put his paw lightly on his son's forehead. He saw the pained expression cross Leonardo's face as he looked at Raphael. He hoped Raphael would speak to his brother soon, but in the mean time Splinter felt the need to lessen Leonardo's suffering.

"Raphael doesn't hate you, Leonardo." He said softly. Leo's head shot up, looking at his father in shock. Splinter always seemed able to read their minds. "He said those words brashly and unthinking. He has regretted them every moment of every day since."

Leo started at his father's words. "Every day?" he asked softly. "How long have I been out?"

"Seven days." Splinter said softly. He could probably even spout off how many hours, minutes, possibly even seconds his son had been unresponsive to them, but held his tongue.

Leo stared off into space for a moment in horror. "Seven days…" he whispered. He swallowed hard, his hand instinctively going to the small cat who was at his side, trying to gain some comfort.

"You were badly injured." Splinter explained, trying again to relieve some of his son's burden. "Your body had to heal." Leonardo didn't answer, he just continued to stare at the ceiling, his hand still softly moving across the cat's soft fur. He felt his chest constrict painfully. He had been a burden on his family for seven days?

"Leonardo, do not blame yourself." Splinter said firmly, pulling his son's face so that their eyes met. "It was not your fault and you have not been a burden to any one of us. It is no less than what you would have done for any of us."

Leonardo swallowed hard and nodded, pulling his head away from his father's hand and letting his eyes drift away. Splinter sighed softly, still seeing the blame his son insisted on carrying on his shoulders. He needed to bring up the journal soon and have a long talk with his son about everything, but seeing the fatigue in his child's eyes drove away his resolve to do it now. The last thing Leonardo needed now was to be bombarded. He would have to wait until his son grew stronger before he forced him to face his feelings and counseled him on his depression.

"Why don't you rest." He said reluctantly. He did not want to leave his son, but he felt that Leonardo may need time with his thoughts.

"I've rested enough." Leonardo said bitterly, but immediately regretted it when he saw Splinter flinch at the harshness of his words. He sighed, then nodded. He wanted to be alone for awhile anyway. He watched as Splinter raised himself from the chair and slowly moved away from his side. His entire being burned with shame at causing his family so much trouble. He glanced to his side and saw Mikey and Donny fast asleep on the floor wrapped in blankets he recognized from their beds at home. Leo sighed, suddenly wishing his life would have ended when he was dragged out of that window.

A quiet purring next to his ear pulled him from his dark thoughts and he looked over, seeing the small cat looking at him, her face right up to his as if reading his thoughts. He found himself smiling despite himself. She sniffed him softly and nuzzled her cheek to his. He once again was filled with a rush of warmth and calm, emotions he hadn't felt since Isabel had died. His throat once again swelled up as he thought of her, as it did every time. He found he was still unable to think of her without feeling a deep grief begin to drown him. He missed her so much he felt he couldn't breathe. Before he knew it he felt tears snake their way down his cheeks and he quickly pulled his hand to his eyes and wiped them away, ashamed of himself. Why couldn't he move on?

He felt a rough tongue on his cheek and saw the small tabby softly licking the salty tears from his face. She looked back at him and nudged him lightly. He could almost imagine her feeling his grief. The overwhelming feelings of loss began to slowly fade as he looked into the soft, caring eyes of the orange cat. He didn't know why this small creature was able to calm him so easily, but he felt a deep comfort whenever she was around. He sighed contentedly as she rubbed her face across his skin and he began to stroke her fur softly, his eyes slowly drifting shut.

"Mikey, I swear I'm going to kill you!" Raph boomed from the far corner in the basement.

"Ha! You've been saying that for years, Raphie." Mikey yelled, not even looking away from his video game. Raph let out a deep annoyed growl at the use of his childhood nickname and dove after Mikey on the couch. Mike let out a yelp, throwing the controller and escaping the wrath of his brother by mere inches causing Raph to land unceremoniously onto the couch.

Mikey let out an amused laugh. "Graceful, Raph. I bet you could make the Olympic gymnastic team…aack!" His words were choked off by his body being tackled to the ground.

"Where did you put my bike magazines?!" Raph yelled as he wrapped Mikey into a headlock, trying to pin him to the floor.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Mikey choked through his brother's hold, but no one could miss the bright glint in his eye and the smile playing on his face.

Casey stood not far away laughing at the brothers' wrestling match at his feet, holding the latest version of Cosmo magazine. He looked at it again and snorted in amusement. As entertaining as it would be to learn '97 ways to please your man' he had been hoping to be looking at a new part for his bike that Raph had found in his latest bike magazine.

When Raph had grabbed the magazine and thrust it at him to see the bike part, not even glancing at the cover, Casey had been slightly surprised to be looking at a quiz asking him if he 'Made Men Melt', and the following 20 questions that would apparently answer that question. It didn't take Raph long to surmise what had happened after Casey had awkwardly handed the magazine back to his red clad friend with a smirk, asking him if there was something he, Casey, needed to know about him. It wasn't long before Raph had leapt into action.

"I swear Mikey," Raph pushed out, his anger lacing every word. "I want that magazine back."

"I…don't…know…what you're…talking about!" Mikey wheezed, whether from lack of air from Raph's headlock or from laughing so hard, no one could tell.

April, from her seat next to Splinter and Leo, watched the scene and rolled her eyes. "Boys." She muttered, turning back to the book she had been reading.

Leo watched from the couch in amusement. There was nothing he could do, still being confined to the small couch, and so he took a spectators role in his brother's argument. His smile was genuine, but behind it was a hint of frustration. How he wished he could get up and step in, or even join into the brotherly rumble. 'Hope', his new constant companion, was perched by his head on his pillow watching the yelling turtles with an annoying twitch in her tail as if their yelling had interrupted the best nap of the year.

It had been a few days since he had first awoken and they had been anything but easy. Though he had been steadily getting some strength back, he was still weak and helpless, even unable to raise himself from the couch he had been kept on for the entirety of his woken hours. On top of his endless fatigue, he felt constant pain, which wasn't surprising after Donny had described to him the injuries he had sustained. From the sound of it he shouldn't even still be alive. His life had become a constant repetition of sleep, exams from his worrying purple clad brother, and idle restlessness. He hated this feeling of helplessness that had taken hold.

Leo was suddenly pulled from his thoughts by a loud bang and looked over to see Raph had tackled Mikey into a pile of boxes.

"Boys!" Splinter suddenly spoke, his voice raised. The fighting immediately stopped and both brothers jerked their heads around to look at their father. "That will be enough." He said, a finality in his voice.

"But Master Splinter, he took my magazine!" Raph said with obvious exasperation. "He's been nothing but a pain in the ass…"

"Language, Raphael." Splinter corrected, his mouth in a tight line but his eyes dancing.

"Sorry, butt, for the past few days and I can't take it anymore!" Raph finished, his cheeks flushed red with frustration. Mikey let out soft laughter from behind him, causing Raph to elbow him in the plastron.

"I wouldn't have to if you weren't so moody all the time." Mikey said in his defense, giving Raph a playful shove. "I mean, someone has to relieve the tension down here before you get wound so tight you explode!"

Raph threw up his hands in frustration, releasing Mikey from his choke hold. "Fine, whatever." He growled, raising himself from the floor and storming off toward the stairs, avoiding Leo's gaze as he walked by his brother's position. "Come on Casey, let's get some air."

Casey looked over at April, as if fishing for approval. She looked back and shrugged. Casey took it as a yes and hurried to follow his friend up the stairs. "Hey, wait up Raph. Don't you wanna finish reading about the top ten new exercise secrets to get the butt you crave??" The growl from the angry turtle above echoed through the room.

"Yeesh." Mikey said, moving back over to the couch to start his game again. "Touchy, huh?"

Splinter sighed and looked at April with exasperation. She smiled back at him and shrugged her shoulders.

Leo sighed softly, his gaze locked on the stairs that his brother had just ascended a few moments before. He hadn't missed the desperate attempt Raph had made to avoid his gaze, or the way his shoulders had stiffened as he walked past. Leo's heart sank and he finally let his sight drop from the stairs.

Raph had been avoiding him the whole time he had been awake, of that there was no doubt. He hadn't said more than a few words to Leo since he had woken up, and when he did speak, his eyes would never meet Leo's. Leo's mouth drew into a line as he remembered his father's reassuring words a few nights back, telling him that Raph didn't hate him at all, but after days of seeming indifference, Leo was beginning to think his father had it all wrong. He once again found himself swallowing back a lump in his throat and found himself wishing he could have a few moments of peace.

Splinter watched his injured son out of the corner of his eye. He knew Raphael's silence was killing Leonardo inside every day it went on. He could not figure out why Raphael had yet to tell his brother everything he had confessed to his father before. He knew feelings came hard for his hot headed son, but he had hoped that Raphael would have found the courage to speak his mind to his older brother and put his mind to rest. Splinter feared for Leonardo deeply after reading the thoughts and experiences his son had written in the pages of that seemingly harmless black book, and Raphael's silence was not helping Leonardo's path to recovery.

Splinter, or any of his son's, had still not found the courage to broach the subject of Leonardo's journal. He could see the others always watching their eldest brother out of the corner of their eyes as if he were a fragile figuring tottering on the edge of a tall bookshelf. But though they worried for him, none had been able to confess to their intrusion of Leonardo's privacy. Splinter knew it would have to be done eventually. The only way to heal Leonardo's mind was to bring his smoldering feelings to the surface and allow them to be freed, and in that wake show him nothing but endless support.

Splinter sighed, not looking forward to revealing to his son that they knew all of his deepest and most hidden thoughts. 'I hope you can forgive us.' Splinter thought as he gazed at his unsuspecting son. 'I hope you can forgive us all and allow us to help you heal.'

"Leo, just let me help you."

"I can do it. Stop being a nursemaid."

"I will stop being a nursemaid when you stop being so stubborn!" Donny sighed in exasperation as he watched his injured brother fumble with his thin soup that April had prepared for him. Leo was being endlessly stubborn, insisting he could feed himself as his shaking hand dripped soup down both himself and Donny. 'Well, at least some of the old Leo is coming back.' Don thought to himself with a small smirk.

Leo once again tried to lift the trembling spoon up to his mouth, but only succeeded in dumping more down himself. 'Hope' let out a small growl as some of the hot soup dripped on her tail.

"Damn it!" Leo shouted suddenly, his frustration at the situation coming to the surface.

"Leo, here, let me help." Donny pleaded, trying to take the spoon back from his brother's good hand.

"No!" Leo exclaimed, throwing the spoon across the room. He couldn't stand his helplessness anymore. He couldn't stand the smothering and the constant mothering. He couldn't stand the pitying looks he got every day. He couldn't stand it! "Just, leave me alone!" he pushed out, his pride burning deep. He regretted the harshness in his words the second he said them as he saw the hurt flash quickly across Donny's gaze. God, he hated himself. "Please…," he pleaded, his voice becoming soft. "I just need to be alone."

Don could do nothing but nod and comply. He was slightly shocked at his brother's sudden outburst. It was very unLeo like which further reminded him of his brother's hidden feelings. Donny was always great at fixing anything mechanical, and had even gotten competent at fixing medical problems too. But problems of the mind-he was clueless on how to make his brother feel better and be happy again. He looked over at Splinter and April who had been quiet through the short exchange.

"Come Donatello." Splinter said, rising from his chair. He put his hand lightly on Don's shoulder and led him away from Leo's side. Leo couldn't bring himself to look at them after his childish outburst. He felt a soft hand lay on his shoulder but refused to move his head in the direction. He heard soft footsteps as they moved away from his side and across the room. He wasn't alone, he never would be as long as he was shut up in this small basement, but it was something.

Leo shifted slightly, hissing as he rolled weight onto his casted arm. He clenched his teeth in utter frustration at his situation. He was nothing but a burden to his family and a disgrace to himself. He couldn't even feed himself. He felt his cheeks burn with shame. He couldn't stand it anymore. He couldn't stand all of the pity he got from his father and Don. He couldn't stand the suffocating hate he felt from Raph. He couldn't stand the shame of April and Casey seeing him like this.

God, he missed her so much. There was something about the way she cared for him when he was sick that never made him feel like he was helpless. She never looked at him with pity or hate. Even in her final, dying moments the only look she gave him was one of pure admiration and, if he dared believe it, love.

He wanted her back so badly it took his breath away. He began to feel tears threaten to rise to the surface and quickly swallowed them back, taking deep breaths in an effort to control his emotions. Being stuck in this basement with nothing but boredom for company left him with no way to escape his bubbling grief. Normally when he felt the cold tendrils begin to wrap around his heart he would take it out on a punching bag, or run himself until he no longer felt the burning emotion, but here there was no escape.

He heard a soft meow next to his ear and Leo clenched his teeth. Apparently 'Hope' didn't get the hint that he wanted to be alone.

"Go away." He muttered. The cat moved down from the pillow and onto his plastron. Leo scowled at the furry creature and shoved her lightly from him, hearing her padded feet hit the floor below. He suddenly felt that familiar feeling of guilt taking hold as he realized he had just pushed his strongest source of comfort these past few days onto the floor. Why was he constantly pushing everyone and everything away?

He suddenly felt pressure on his plastron once again and looked to see 'Hope' had once again jumped up onto him, laying her body down and giving him a look as if daring him to try to push her off again. The look was almost reminiscent of the way Isabel used to look at him when he would ask her to do something she didn't want to do. Leo felt a small chill run down his spine. Wow, he was really starting to lose it. Comparing Isabel to a cat. Leo laughed hollowly to himself.

But was it so crazy to think that? This cat offered him what Isabel always had too. Caring without pity or hate. Unconditional love despite anything he did or said. He suddenly realized why this cat had such a comforting hold over him. The small creature filled some of the large void in Leonardo's soul that had appeared after Isabel's death, a void that until now had only been growing bigger with time. Leo picked up his hand and placed it lightly on her head, watching as she lifted it to meet his hand as if she couldn't wait for the contact. Leo suddenly didn't want to be alone anymore.

He quietly crept through the dark space, each step small and calculated as he tried to make as little noise as possible. There was a soft rumble to his right and his foot landed on something soft and cushy. He froze for a second as he felt movement, the figure at his toes shifting to a different position. He held his breath and waited. Finally the figure stilled once again and the snoring resumed. He let out a relieved sigh and took another tentative step forward, careful to miss the limp hand in front of him. He could see his goal ahead of him. If he could just make it there…only three more steps…

"Raphael." A voice echoed through the darkness.

Damn. Raph sighed and turned slowly around, seeing his sensei lighting a candle behind him and gesturing to a seat next to him. In the soft glow of candlelight he could now see the silhouettes of his orange and purple brothers on the floor wrapped in their blankets and of his blue one fast asleep on the couch not far away. He turned his head and looked longing back at his red blankets, so close, and yet, so far. He wondered if Casey had faired any better sneaking into the apartment he and April shared.

"Sit." His sensei's calm voice spoke. Raph turned and, with his head lowered, made his way to the empty chair next to where the old rat rested. He sat slowly, still not able to raise his head to meet his sensei's eyes. He knew he had been brash earlier this evening and had probably upset Splinter, but he had been hoping to avoid a lecture, at least until tomorrow. But apparently Splinter had felt this couldn't wait. Raph cursed softly in his head. If he could have only made it to his blankets…

He watched as his sensei finished lighting a second candle. The light illuminated the large rat, the flames of the candles reflecting off his soft black eyes. Raph chanced a quick look in his sensei's direction, and found the rat watching him silently, the fingertips of his hands pressed together, his eyes calculating. Raph could only look for a second, and once again quickly averted his gaze.

The silence was thick, only occasionally broken by a snort from one of his sleeping brothers on the floor. Raph could feel the tension building as the silent minutes past. He began to wish his sensei would say something, anything to break the silence that was suddenly becoming suffocating. He could feel Splinter's eyes on him and couldn't help but wonder what the rat was waiting for.

Finally, Raph could no longer take the silence. "Sensei, I…" he began.

"Raphael. Why have you not talked to your brother?" Splinter said, his voice still calm and quiet, but with a sort of hardness that was not lost on Raph.

Raph swallowed hard. He had expected Splinter to lecture him about being nice to Mikey and about how hard this has all been on everyone and to stop being a hothead. He had not expected this.

"I…I mean, I'm going to, I just…" Raph rubbed his hand over his head in exasperation, trying to find words. Splinter continued to stare at him, his fingertips coming to rest under his chin.

"Do you not see how it is hurting him?" Splinter asked.

Raph drew his face into a tight line. He felt guilt begin to settle itself into his stomach. "I just haven't…I mean…he hasn't talked to me at all either!" Raph finally said, trying to get some of the attention away from himself. He felt the guilt begin to build as he realized he just blamed his injured brother, the one who had almost died trying to save him. He let his head fall into his hands.

"Raphael, he hasn't talked to you because he fears your feelings of him." Splinter said softly without a hint of blame or accusation in his voice. "You must tell him everything you feel and mend your relationship. Only if he has full faith in his family can we attempt to heal him. You must relieve this burden from him and from yourself."

Raphael slowly lifted his head from his hands and looked at his sensei, finally meeting his eyes. He saw nothing but concern within the dark orbs. "I just…feelings don't come easily for me sensei." Raph tried to explain, his voice barely above a whisper. "I try. I mean I've tried, and every time I feel myself begin to clam up. He looks at me with those eyes of his, and I just…I just punk out." Raph pulled his knees up to his body and hugged them close as if trying to protect himself from danger. He rested his head softly on his knees and sighed. "What if he doesn't accept it? What if he tells me to shove it, like he rightly would deserve to."

"You know he would never do that." Splinter said. "He loves you Raphael, and every minute that he believes that love is unreturned is hurting him more and more. We now know how much hurt he is already harboring. You have the power to relieve some of his pain, and in doing so you would be relieving some of your own. You must gain the courage that I know you have and talk to him, soon."

Raph found himself nodding numbly. He had tried so many times to talk to Leo, but every time he had chickened out and hated himself for it. But he knew his sensei was right. Leo needed his family, his whole family, to support him through this rough patch.

"I will talk with him tomorrow, I promise." Raph said, resolution in his voice.

Splinter nodded and smiled softly at his son, placing a hand on Raph's arm. "You are not as tough as you act, my son. Deep down there is a soft nuggety center yet."

Raph smiled lightly. "Yeah, but don't tell anyone." He said roughly. "I'd hate for my reputation as the bad ass to be ruined." Splinter laughed affectionately. He waited until Raphael had made his way over to his blankets and settled himself, then blew out the candles, once again blanketing the room in darkness.