I fianlly saw "Becoming Jane!" Grrrreat. Only like P&P to the ignorant mind. Oh god... poor Janie! She loved him soooo much. And he did her. Sad. Sad. Let's hope Carly's fate is better...

Pride and Prejudice: Abbreviated and Un-fabricated

This can only and will only be titled "The Problem with Instant Communication"

It was two days later and I was still stuck in France. Mine and Danny's roles seemed to have reversed over the last two days. I'd become the brooding schizophrenic and he'd become the person trying desperately to cheer me up.

But the only thing that would cheer me up was for him to take me home, which he couldn't do until his finished his reference, and maybe give me a few days alone to recover from my broken heart. Stupid heart. All along I'd thought mine was rubber, but, what ho! It's obviously very breakable.

I'd taken to checking my e-mail on Danny's computer quite often hoping that Sarah or Adam would send me some sort of e-mail asking me to come home. I needed Danny-free time and no one seemed to be granting me any.

As if on cue, Danny came into the room where I was sitting on his computer. "What are you doing Carly?" he asked.

"Checking my e-mail," I informed him blandly. I tried to smile at him. Ow. Smiling hurts. I think I managed to chip a tooth. See, smiling is painful and dangerous. I shouldn't do it anymore.

"You check your e-mail every half hour," he pointed out. Well, obviously not literally. It would be difficult to point out something intangible. "Are you expecting anything?"

Yes. A rescue. "No. Nothing."

"Then get off the computer." He came over to me and tried to take the computer from me while I waited for the AOL program to load.

I tugged back on the computer. It was like an electronic game of tug-o-war. "Why?"

"We're in France!" he pointed out again, but we've been over the fact that he didn't literally point it out. "You don't spend the entire day on the computer when you're in France."

"Well I do!" I shouted at him. I didn't really want to shout at him. Ok. Maybe I did. But I didn't mean to shout something so immature. I meant to shout something more along the lines of "But I love you Danny!" but I'm pretty glad I didn't. Think how embarrassing that would have been: Me shouting at my boss that I love him when he made it almost blatantly obvious just two days prior that he had absolutely no feelings for me. How pathetic would that be? Let's put it this way: It would be worse than the time my imaginary boyfriend and I got into an argument in the ladies restroom and he left me sitting in the public stall to cry my eyes out. Speaking of Trevor… I should probably break up with him now that I'm in love with Danny Dardy and all.

I think Danny might be in love with Miranda actually. I'm pretty sure I saw an e-mail from her the other day on his account. (He left it signed on! I'm not that crazy!) Ok so never mind… I'm sure I saw an e-mail from Miranda. I'm sure because my curiosity got the best of me and I allowed my self to take a tiny little peek at it. Don freak out! All it said was: "Did you do it yet?" I can only assume that she was asking him if he'd told me that he was in love with her. That Beetch! … I mean bitch.

Which brings me back to the present? The laptop tug-o-war was in full swing. I was loosing rather horribly. Danny is much stronger than me; he gave a great tug and yanked the laptop toward himself. Me, being the stubborn little cow that I am, refused to let go of the lappy. When Danny yanked, I was tugged onto his chest along with the laptop.

As I finally realized that I was pressed up against Danny's chest, I relinquished the laptop. I actually relinquished all semblance of thought. I was pressed against Danny Dardy's chest! What did I care that I was wearing a really uncomfortable double-barreled-water-balloon-shooter? I was pressed against Danny Dardy's chest! Let me say it one more time for good measure: I was pressed against Danny Dardy's chest!

Danny took the laptop from me, as I let it slide out of my hands, and placed it on the floor right beside the sofa where I was still pressed against Danny Dardy's chest! (Sorry. Last time I promise.) Danny half-sighed and then slowly, nay painfully slowly, slid his hands around my torso until his arms were wrapped around me and his palms were pressed against my dunderfinn.

"Carly," he whispered, his lips really close to my face. I could feel his breath on my cheek. "I have something I need to tell you."

I was so close to Danny that I had completely forgotten how to speak. I fleetingly thought that he was going to tell me about his torrid and forbidden love-affair with Miranda. That Beetch!

"Ok," I breathed back. I was surprised I even managed two whole syllables. Ok… so maybe in truth in came out sounding more like "hoik" but Danny didn't seem to mind. In fact, it's possible that he hadn't even heard, despite our proximity… which, amazingly enough was growing even closer. If I hadn't known that Danny was in love with Miranda Beetch, I would have sworn that Danny was about to kiss me. But before I could discover the truth of our proximity and the dunderfinn touching…

"You've got mail."

Oh! That stupid computer. It seems to ruin every dunderfinn moment. "Oh! My mail!" I exclaimed, momentarily forgetting that I was pressed against Danny's chest. (Ok. I'm sorry. I know I promised. Last time for sure.) I jumped away and, in lightening speed, pulled up my mail. Hmm. I had one from Adam, one from Miranda Bitch… I mean Beetch, one from Sarah Golden and five from Stephen. Stephen! Shit, I'd forgotten to tell my ex-boss that I quit and I hate him… Oops.

"Carly?" Danny asked me seeming slightly distracted and put-out, but still worried. "What's wrong?"

Remember how I'd wished for that emergency to get me away from France? Yeah… be careful what you wish for.