What's this? The final chapt- … er… thing. Is it long enough to be considered a chapter?

Anyway… there's still a kind of epilogue. But still this is your second to last chance to leave a review. So you should probably make sure to do that… or else I might possibly cry.

In other news: I finally reached 100 reviews! You guys are KICKIN'! Haha. Ok. It's Carly's turn to narrate. Enjoy… an ending… of sorts.

And review… because you love me… or because you love Danny… Either or.

Pride and Prejudice: Abbreviated and Un-fabricated

The benefits of napping during work and photojournalism. Basically… the perks of life in general and the climax of my deluded story. The Final Chap.

"Everyone! We have a confession to make!" Adam announced to all… two of us. He stood before Miranda and I, holding the hand of Sarah Golden and smiling like an idiot. Sarah blushed, murmured a protest and tried to break free of Adam's grasp. "We shouldn't hide who we truly are," Adam hissed back at her. Miranda and I locked eyes and tried not to giggle. Some of us were more successful than others.

"What is it?" Miranda sighed impatiently as I giggled profusely. Things seem so much more amusing when Adam forgets to wipe the pudding off his face after lunch.

Adam waited for me to regain my composure. Half and hour later, he finally made his announcement. "We like to knit!" he announced proudly.

"You have got to be kidding me," Miranda growled in disappointment.

"I know, I know! It's very shocking, regain your bearings… in time this too shall heal," he said reassuringly, dropping Sarah's hand to clasp Miranda on the shoulder. Miranda doesn't like to be touched. She karate chopped him in the gut.

As Adam lay squirming on the floor in agony, Miranda and I took to grilling Sarah about her "knitting scandal." "So that conversation we overheard, about the thing with the needles…" I inquired.

"Knitting needles," Sarah corrected with a blush. "I can't believe you guys overheard that."

"So that's it? Just knitting?" Miranda was very, very disappointed. "No random acts of sexual violence? No whips or cages or… real needles of any sort? God I hate this place," she sighed acquiescing and rolling back to her pornographic cubicle in her desk chair.

Sarah bent over Adam's writhing body and tried to calm him down. "Carly?" she asked as she calmly pinned him to the floor and he squirmed beneath her. "Can you go get Adam's Ritalin from the office? I forgot to grind it up and put it in his pudding." She was straddling him with ease. Knitting needles my ass…

I crept slowly into the office. I figured if I was quiet enough Danny wouldn't notice that I was creeping into his office. Like a T-Rex, all I had to do was hold still, and be quiet, and he'd never notice me. Luckily, he was asleep, his face pressed against his keyboard.

I crept over to Adam's tiny little desk that they used back in middle school. I wondered if maybe I could get one of those for my new desk… They're so cute. I shuffled through the dinosaur figurines, looking for that little pill-bottle. It wasn't there. I suddenly remembered Adam once telling me that Danny keeps "those yummy little pills" in a place where he can't get to them. I knew right away that that meant they'd be in Danny's bottom desk drawer. That was where Danny kept all his most important files… I knew Adam was forbidden to touch it… plus he had no reason to do so.

Once again, I crept across the office, this time over to Danny's desk. I bent down to the bottom left, top secret drawer. I was slightly excited. I'd never been in this drawer before.

I slid it open slowly so as to not make a loud noise and wake up Danny, and because I was a spy and spies must be very stealth about these kinds of things. There, laying on top of all the files, was a large manila envelope. Hmm. That's funny. We hardly ever use manila envelopes. I wonder…

I slowly untangled that cool stringy thing that holds the envelope closed. Manila envelopes are sweet. We should probably try to get some here. Then I slid out the sticky paper inside the sweet manila envelope. Hmm. Pictures? Did Miranda mail out her nude Christmas card early this year? But wait… Why would Miranda's nude Christmas card have people that are dressed on it? And why were those two people kissing on a dark balcony? And that one guy looked kind of like Stephen… And… "OH MY GOD!" I shouted and tossed that wretched manila envelope away.

"What!" Danny jumped awake and hit his head on his computer in his sudden awakening. "What's going on?" he grumbled as he groggily rubbed his eyes.

"This!" I shouted, my eyes wide, as I picked back up that horrible photograph and held it under Danny's keyboard imprinted nose. "Why do you have this picture of me kissing Stephen Wicki?"

Danny's eyes grew as wide as mine were. "Where did you get that?" he asked numbly. He would have looked horrified, except that his face was sore from the keyboard, and he only appeared horrifying.

"From this folder!" I was still shouting. In a weird way, it was rather exhilarating.

"Ok! Ok, I can explain this," he said in his defense. I think the soreness in his face was finally kicking in and he began to rub the keyboard impression furiously. "That is something that I…" I tapped my foot impatiently. "Something I bought from Stephen Wicki so that he wouldn't print it."

He did what? "You did what!"

"I-I," he stuttered. "I had to, Carly. You just seemed so upset. I couldn't let you go down in a sinking ship when I knew there was something I could do. So, I came home from Italy early and have spent the last four days with absolutely no sleep as I did everything in my power to get that picture, the negatives and the accompanying article from Wicki. I had to! I couldn't let him ruin your journalistic reputation."

I let the picture fall from my hands. So that was why he came back early? That was why he'd been so tired? "Why?" I asked numbly.

Danny shrugged. "You really don't know?" I shook my head as Danny stoop from his desk chair so that he could be level with me (and by level I mean like a foot taller) as I stood beside him. He smiled slightly as I looked up at him, and without a single word, he kissed me.

DANNY DARDY WAS KISSING ME!

Oh and he was good. Like… strawberry, apple pudding style good. Double-barreled-water-balloon-shooter good. He was Jim on "The Office" good. He was knee-melting, unforgettably, cry myself to sleep, call mom to dust off her old wedding dress type good.

I, begrudgingly, stepped back and tried to hide my bursting smile. I was absolutely horrible at it. But I was a girl on a mission and I still had one last question to ask. "Danny, what did you have to do to get the article from Stephen?"

Danny smiled and quirked his sexy eyebrow (Timmy, not Tommy.). "Oh, you'll see…"

I hardly saw much of anything though. Well… Anything but Danny Dardy's lips…

"Carly!" I distantly heard Sarah shouting from outside the office. "You got that pill yet?"

Ah. Adam could wait. I would be kissing Danny for as long as the world turns; as long as I am alive; as long as I… Oh god! Problem: I'm running out of breath…