This is it! The official ending. I think after reading this there won't be much need for a sequel. I very breifly considered doing a prequel about Carly as a child, but I just have so many other stories and no plot line for it... so I figured that won't happen. This is a fun story and I really enjoyed writing it and reading you guys' reviews. They made me laugh harder than when reading this story. I'm really glad I got to write this and help lighten myself up. Originally it was started to make me feel better about Love to the "Tune of a Country Song". I needed to release excess wackiness in order to write chapters for that. Now I'd like to think that my humor has exyended beyond that. I hope you guys will check out "Spandex" and "Former Child Star" I have interesting twists for common characters and I love getting new loyal reviewers.

Thanks everyone!

Pride and Prejudice: Abbreviated and Un-fabricated

Abbreviated Moments with Carly (and sometimes Danny)

On Monday I finally discovered what Danny had done to persuade Stephen not to print his article about me. I was passing by a newsstand on my way to work. It was so bright and lovely. I swear there were birds singing… or possibly it was just the honk of car horns. Either way, the world was music to my ears.

Where was I? Oh yes, the newsstand. I was skipping along the city sidewalk when I noticed Brad Pitt on the cover of a tabloid. I was very distraught. If Brangelina were on the rocks, what chance did couples everywhere stand? I was contemplating mine and Danny's celebrity couple name. Darly? Canny? Hmm…

Then I saw it. On the cover of The Inquirer. "Danny Dardy: Man of Mystery." I quickly purchased a copy and skimmed through it on my way to work. The entire article was a synopsis of Danny Dardy's secret life as an undercover… fireman?

"Oh Danny." No, no! You said it wrong! I wasn't disappointed. Let's try it again, this time with a suggestive/perverse inflection. "Oh Danny."

Yep. There were picture included. The pornographic cubicle was put to shame.

I was relaxing in Danny's office. Unofficially, I was considering forcing Adam to switch desks with me. I spent almost all my time in Danny's office anyway. With the door locked so Adam couldn't sneak in on us while we were… filing. In truth the desk switch would be more convenient for all of us. I could spend as much time as I liked with Danny… filing. And Adam could spend as much time as he liked with Sarah… knitting. (I mean honestly! Knitting? At least come up with a better excuse.)

Danny said the swap wasn't going to happen. Actually what he said was, "You think I'm running an orgy here, Carly? This isn't a place that people come to to get laid!" Ha. Filthy hypocrite.

As I was saying I was filing in Danny's office. With the door locked. "Danny?" I asked. "Do you think it's possible that the moon is made of cheese? I have this overwhelming feeling that it is. Plus, I had this dream last night that Larry and I were on the moon and we forgot to bring the crackers with us, but I'm pretty sure it was only because I'd fallen asleep watching Wallace and Gromit, but it's possible that it meant something else. What if my dream actually meant that in the future I will become a robot? Wouldn't that be horrible? Wouldn't it Danny?"

Danny scrunched his sexy eyebrows. Timmy and Tommy are oh so cute. "Uh. Who's Larry again?"

I rolled my eyes and completed a quick description. Silly Danny. Isn't he supposed to be telekinetic or something? "… And that's why Larry never made it to the moon."

Danny looked highly amused.

"What is it?" I asked as he just sat there and smiled at me.

Danny continued to smile. "God Carly. I love you."

Oh great. Now the both of us were grinning like idiots.

Valentines Day rocks when you have a boyfriend. Trevor never gave me presents before. God, Trev was a horrible boyfriend. Glad that's over…

"What is it?" I asked as I held the oddly long and rectangular box.

Danny fidgeted. "A Valentines Day present."

I tried to shake it, but it was too big. So I did the only thing any logical girl would do: I tore viciously into it. Paper flew across the office.

OH MY GOD! "You got me a lightsaber?" I asked Danny.

Danny continued to fidget, unable to discern my reaction. "I-I had this weird feeling that you'd want one."

"It's perfect," I shouted in excitement as I ripped into the box. How did he know?! Ever since I was a little girl…

Across the office Sarah gave a similar shout of excitement. Lucky girl: Adam got her knitting needles.

"Marry me."

I sighed and leaned into Danny's chest as we sat on his sofa. "Hmm," I contemplated. "Okay."

"Good." No need to say more.

Saying goodbye was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. "An-and Miranda, make sure you take good care of my fichus," I sobbed as I dropped things into my crappy little cardboard box.

Miranda coughed. "Carly. You don't have fichus."

"Oh." I frowned. "Well then you should get one for me, and then take care of it."

"Only if you name it after me," Miranda replied.

"For the last time will you stop calling my unborn child an it?" I shot back, transforming from sobbing to angry in seconds, nay, milliseconds.

Miranda rolled her eyes. "I was talking about the fichus."

I was suddenly sobbing again. "Oh. Okay." I hugged her. She looked as though she wanted to stab me in the abdomen. Good thing I was pregnant, or else she might have. I turned to Sarah and Adam. "And you two, just make sure- make sure…" I screwed up my face in thought. I really had nothing to say.

Adam handed me a small box. I quickly opened it, my unfinished sentence quickly forgotten and my sadness turning to curiosity faster than you can say "bumble-bee." "Aww," I sighed. Yep I was crying again, except this time Sarah was too. "An itty-bitty baby hat."

Adam smiled proudly. "I knitted it myself." Hmm that explained why it was so ugly. I loved it all the same. Tears were pouring down my face now. "Don't be sad," Adam sighed as he patted my tummy. Hmm… I liked being patted on my tummy; made me feel like Buddha.

"It's not that," I replied, still all drippy. "It's just the hormones, and the puffiness and I really need some chocolate." As if out of nowhere, Danny produced a Hershey's bar. "I wanted almonds," I sighed, crying even harder. A second later a Hershey's almond bar was in my hand. Danny was getting good at this stuff…

"How's the witty-bitty baby," Adam cooed as he rubbed my tummy.

I coughed and stepped away from him. "Adam? You do know I haven't been pregnant for like the past three years, right?" He'd had trouble coming to grips with the whole situation. I think he'd become quite used to me being pregnant. Eh. After three children, who hadn't?

I smiled at Adam as he blushed and Sarah Gold-… Sorry. Adam blushed as Sarah Shuster berated him for his embarrassing mishap. Oh, I hardly cared if I was a bit curvier than normal. And it was an honest mistake. Now that Adam and Danny had a new masochist secretary to take my spot and Miranda had moved to Bermuda with some fancy sex-cult, I hardly ever saw Adam anymore.

Danny on the other hand I saw daily. I saw him every morning when I rolled out of bed to the sound of shouts from the kids in the adjacent room. I saw him in the morning as he sipped his coffee in between sloppy kisses when the children's eyes were averted. I saw him every afternoon when he wondered into the apartment and smiled like he'd just found a million dollars. I saw him as he rocked out on the air guitar with Timmy, our eldest son; and the time that Tommy, the second one, accidentally set his hair on fire; or when he played lightsabers with Adam, our little boy. I saw him as he watched from the doorway as I told my three little boys the tales of Mr. Darcy, and Professor Wallace Tremor III, and Larry the six legged octopus, and Adam the Lunatic.

And they laughed… all four of my brooding, dark haired boys.