Choices Chapter 3: Decision Time, a glee fanfic

A.N. This fic is the product of the Support Stacie Author Auction. Thanks to 24jls who placed the winning bid on me and provided the entire basis of this story, including the songs used in this chapter by NB Ridaz, both on youtube. "Wishin" is at /watch?v=ED8V6VwtvQk and "4-ever" is at /watch?v=u2Fpt-Bm1CA. She also added to the conversation between Puck and Chris at the beginning of this chapter. I refer to the song "Hollywood" by Dog's Eye View, which really captures some angsty feelings on Puck's behalf, so have a listen if you like on lala. LizzayMartini recommended a great song that captures a lot of the emotions, "All We'd Ever Need" by Lady Antebellum which can also be heard on lala and youtube. Lyrics are in italics with male vocals in bold. Finally, thanks to Alimard and sweetcaroline1986 who said some things in their reviews that helped me know what readers want to see next.

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or anything familiar.

...

The night of his surprise encounter with Rachel, Puck had a lot to think about and not a lot of time to do anything else about it. In part because Chris wanted to talk about it.

"So, this explains a lot," she said sagely when she arrived to pick him up from the bar. She had been waiting up for Puck to call her (even though she threatened to be asleep by 1am). Of course she hadn't been asleep. She was too amped from meeting Rachel freakin' Berry and finding out that she was the long lost love of Noah Puckerman. Talk about mind-blowing.

"Like what does this explain?" Puck asked cautiously.

"Like your incessant playing of that Hollywood song by that 90s band nobody's ever heard of."

"Dog's eye view kick's ass, and don't you forget it!" he shoved her playfully. "And yeah, you caught me. I was venting frustration over how Hollywood won out and I lost out when it came to Rachel."

"So, I wanna know everything. Like what's she doing here now, and why she left in the first place. Details! Details!"

"I'm not really feeling up to it right now, Chris," Puck said wearily. "I don't want to get into the whole thing."

"You know, you talked more about Quinn adopting your daughter out from under you more than you talked about what happened with Rachel." Christina pointed out. "Why?"

"Fuck, Chris, I don't know." Puck said, distraught. "Maybe I had more time to process the Quinn thing 'cause it happened in high school and Rachel had been there to help me through it. But Rachel leaving was raw, like an open wound. Besides, trying to rescue you from that jackass helped get my mind off of what I was going through—and what I wanted was to try to not feel so bad all the time."

"I suppose that makes sense," Christina said. "I just wish you would have shared some of this with me sooner. Maybe I could have helped you back then."

"Listen," Puck said quickly. "I appreciate that, I do. But I'm in no mood to take this trip down memory lane with you right now. I'm tired. We have a show tomorrow. I just need some time to think by myself, ok? Can we just talk more tomorrow?"

"Ok," she nodded. She knew there was no use in arguing. "I'll see you tomorrow. But if you need to talk tonight or first thing in the morning, don't hesitate. I'm right here for you." Christina gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek before leaving.

"I know you are. Thanks for everything." He gave her a sad smile as she closed his door. He heard the door unlock in the condo next to his. It was pretty convenient to live next door to his best friend and co-writer. (It would have been too awkward to live together. Sometimes it was awkward enough to live next door to each other. Like when one or the other would bring home a date.

They'd already lived together in college and their first year in Nashville. Of course, moving day from OSU was when his mom found out that Chris was a girl and not a guy, and naturally, she flipped out and yelled at him for ruining a good thing with Rachel and replacing her with Chris in short order. That didn't help Puck's self-esteem. But thankfully, the glares from his mother didn't stop Chris from keeping her word and coming with him to Nashville. Because Christina had thought that the two of them could find their dreams together. Practically the exact opposite of what Rachel had decided all those years ago.

Rachel.

Something about her stirred up so much inside of him. Anger. Regret. Anger. And passion. It still came down to passion—if he didn't care, he wouldn't be so angry. But could he forgive? He knew he could never forget what she had done, but she had been young and lost too. They were both older now. Could they try again? Or were they better off leading separate lives?

Puck changed his mind. He needed to talk to Christina. He walked next door and knocked softly. He could hear her shuffling to the door slowly. Shit, she must have been sleeping. Puck glanced at his wrist and noticed his watch said 1:30. They had to be back for the festival in about 14 hours, so that wasn't too terrible. Christina opened the door, eyes tired and hair mussed from sleep. "Puck," she stated. She didn't ask what he was doing there. She knew.

"Sorry, Chris. Can you come over?"

She nodded and closed the door while she pulled a sweatshirt over her tank top with her boxers. She slid on some flip-flops, grabbed her keys, and almost headed out the door before turning back to quickly brush her teeth. Puck was her friend, so she wouldn't subject him to morning breath—even though he did send her away before deciding he needed her again. Maybe he deserved to get some form of torture, but he seemed tortured enough from the looks of it. Christina sighed as she headed next door.

He left the door unlocked, so she walked in and locked it behind her. He was sitting on his leather couch, strumming his guitar. "Hey, thanks for coming. I finally realized I need you to help talk me through this."

"I figured," she shrugged as she settled in on the couch at the opposite arm and folded her legs under her. "You start, and I'll interrupt you as needed."

Puck chuckled. "Right." He took a deep breath. "Here goes. I really don't know what to do about Rachel. When we dated in high school, our so-called friends in glee club"—he gave a look warning her not to make fun of him. Any other time, she would have. But not this time. He continued uninterrupted. "Anyway, everyone said that we wouldn't last, but we stuck through until junior year of college. We were inseparable and shit. This is the girl who I've been in love with for a really long time. But she left and pretty much destroyed me. Like she completely cut me out of her life, Chris. I got home one day and she was gone. Just left me a letter. She changed her phone number and everything. I mean, I was really torn up until I met you."

He looked up at Christina with his eyes pleading with her for understanding. She nodded and let out the breath she'd been holding as she watched him tense up.

"Why would she do that? Why would she leave so abruptly like that?" Christina asked him with wide eyes.

"You mean, what did I do to her, right?" Puck asked ruefully. Christina opened her mouth to protest that she didn't mean it like that.

Puck held up his hand to stop her. "No, it's alright. It's a fair question. She'd wanted to go to New York all along. Ever since we started at OSU the plan was that I'd save up some money—her dads are well off so that wasn't a problem for her even then. Obviously she must be loaded now. Anyway, I kept stalling on the plan. To be honest, I didn't really want to transfer schools, move to New York, any of that. I knew it was selfish, but I thought if I could just get her to wait until after we graduated, then we'd go there together or figure out some kinda plan. So she kept pushing and I kept pulling. Shit, I guess one day she had enough. She went ahead and applied to school there, got in, and I happened to crash at a frat party one night…" Christina shot him a look. "I know, I know. But it was just a band gig right before winter break. Whatever. Point is, she must've been fed up, and she just left. So I personally think she went too far, but now I guess you know my part in why she left like that."

Christina blinked a few times as she tried to comprehend everything she heard. "She definitely went too far," she agreed. "But I still don't think I understand what happened."

"You and me both. But I guess now I've realized that I had started letting myself pull away from her. Self-preservation. I knew she was too good for me, and it was just a matter of time before she'd know it too. See, I always had a fear that the relationship would end when things got too good to be true. That's always been a pattern in my life."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, as soon as I was old enough to have good memories with my dad, he left us. I became a badass stud, then I got Quinn pregnant and fucked up relationships with everyone I cared about—that one was my fault, obviously. Then, the day that my daughter was born I find out it was a closed adoption. So I guess I began to pull away from Rachel because things were getting too good. But then she went and proved my point when she ran away to New York. When I was cut out of her life I realized what I lost and what went wrong. Now, I think it was a mistake all along for her to stay in Ohio for me. She did it for me, and I let her. Then I didn't go to New York for her."

"But if she loved you…" Christina started to ask the question Puck had asked himself countless times.

"I know, right?" he interrupted her. "If she loved me, how could she do that to me? This whole situation is crazy. I loved her so damn much, then I thought it all turned to hate after she left. And then, here in Nashville with you, I thought after all this time I was finally over her. But now, I know I'm not. Maybe a part of me will always love her." Puck stood up and paced as he cleared his head and got back on track. "As for do I think she loved me then? I think she did, in her own way. The only thing I can come up with is that she's Rachel Berry. You had to have grown up with her to know what I mean. All she ever wanted for herself and all her dads ever wanted for her was to be a huge star. Like the biggest star ever. She used to say she needed applause to live." He smirked at the memories as he sat back down next to Chris.

"She sounds funny," Christina remarked.

"Yeah," Puck said with a tight smile. "Usually when she doesn't mean to be." Then he frowned. "She was serious about the applause. And apparently, after talking to her tonight, she was holding out some kinda fucked up hope that I'd follow her out there. But I'm a dumbass. She knows that. I can't believe she thought I'd figure that out."

"Do you think you would have?" Christina asked softly. "Followed her? If you would have thought of it then."

Puck leaned his head back and put his guitar aside on the stand. "I don't know. Maybe. I might have. I cared about her more than I cared about staying in Ohio. I was just so comfortable with how things were; I didn't want change. But she… She was everything to me."

"Then what's holding you back now? She came here for you. Why are you sitting here talking about this with me? There's more to this, isn't there? What do you really want to ask me, Puck?"

Her dark eyes bore holes into his soul. Chris was the only girl who knew him this well besides Rachel. And he wasn't sure if Rachel really knew him anymore or if he'd really know her now.

"Well, we've been apart for so long, I don't even know… I want to know how I can be sure she won't leave me again if I do, hypothetically, forgive her, and we do, hypothetically, start dating again or whatever." Puck glanced at her sitting next to him. She had leaned back and her eyes weren't so scary anymore.

Christina raised one eyebrow at his use of 'hypothetically'. "Methinks thou dost protest too much," she quipped in a mangled Shakespeare reference.

Puck didn't really get it, but he could infer what she meant. "Whatever."

"No, really. What's with all the hypothetical? Tell me exactly what's holding you back."

Puck sighed deeply. "I guess it's that I lost my trust in her. How am I supposed to go back to trusting her to be there? After she left, I went through some of my worst days. Fuck, Chris, I don't know what to feel. She just came back like some final scene in a movie I saw a long time ago; saying she realizes what she has done was wrong and asking for another go at a relationship. If I take her back would it be like the past five years and everything I've been feeling have been nothing? Is that how it's supposed to be?

"Ok, I don't have the answers," Christina started calmly, trying to project a sense of calmness onto the distraught man at her side. "But I'm just gonna say a few things. First, Puck, there is a time to heal and a time to hurt, so you need to decide what time it is for you now. And you know I won't judge you, no matter what you choose. Second, I think Rachel coming back could be great for you because now you could have that closure you didn't have all those years ago. You could tell her that it's over for good and mean it. Or you could take it as a chance to stop wasting time and begin to mend your relationship with her. And lastly, I want to say this." She placed her hands on his shoulders and looked him squarely in the eyes. "Thank you," Christina said.

"For what?"

"For being honest with me. And for revealing your true feelings."

"And my true feelings are?" he asked her mockingly. But he really wanted to know.

And she knew that. So she told him.

"It's clear that a part of you has loved her all these years. You want to forgive her, but it's not easy. And you want to be part of her life again, but that's not easy either. You have doubts. And rightfully so. You need to find out if you'll be giving up your dreams to follow hers just to get her in your life. Or if she's willing to make compromises so that you'll both be happy. You need to talk to her, Puck. You need to ask her the hard questions. Then you need to ask yourself what you want, decide, and follow through."

"You make it sound simple," Puck groaned.

"It won't be simple," Christina agreed. "But if you have a framework in mind, like a basic plan, then you can figure it out. That I know."

"She's coming to our showcase tomorrow too," Puck said out loud, but more for himself than for the woman sitting next to him.

"Good, so you'll talk to her after, get some things settled."

"But now I'm gonna be thinking about every song we pick—what's she gonna read into them. Shit, I think I better write some new songs."

"You've got to be kidding." Christina was serious. She did not want to start writing new songs for their showcase that was—what, 12 hours away.

Puck suddenly seemed a little crazed. He ran his hand over his scalp as he stood up from the couch. "I'm gonna write two new songs. One that goes one way, one that goes the other, you know?" He was striding across the room to get his sheet music. "You don't have to help me on this one, Chris, you get your rest."

"Oh, thank God," she sighed dramatically.

He glanced at her as he prepared for his songwriting undertaking. He went on, thinking out loud. "I'll know which one to play, when the time is right. And I'll get all my emotions out now, tonight, well this morning, before I face her again."

"My work here is done," Christina said as she got up from her place on the couch.

"But you'll still sing the new ones with me, right?" Puck asked—again with those pleading eyes.

Christina was a sucker for those eyes. She couldn't say no. "Of course I will. We'll just need to run through 'em a few times, so give me far warning, ok?"

"You got it," Puck grinned. "Thanks, you're the best, Chris!" He stood up to wrap her in his arms. "What would I do without you?"

Christina didn't answer him. She had a feeling they'd be finding that out pretty soon. She just nodded and shrugged out of his hug. "Good night, Puck. See you in a few hours." He nodded. As Puck sat down with his guitar to write a song, Christina let herself out.

She didn't let him see the tears welling up in her eyes. She was happy for him, she truly was. But she was also sad to know that in a few hours, she was probably going to lose her best friend of five years to the girl of his dreams. Christina knew he could hear her next door if she was too loud, so she turned on some music and cried softly to herself before she fell into an exhausted sleep.

...

After meeting Noah (and Christina) the night before, Rachel was anxious to get back to the music festival. But she had to look amazing. So she got up early, did some shopping so that she'd wear something that would fit into the local style but still have her signature flair. She did her makeup lightly—the way he'd always liked it, but with a little more of a dramatic eye. And she let her hair fall in shiny waves. She decided this was the best she could do. Maybe she couldn't compete with his life here and the girl made of all legs (to whom he seemed to be quite attached now); but she had to try. Rachel Berry always tried her best to make her dreams come true. And finally her dream was not just to be a star, but to be happy. Now she knew she needed Noah in her life to be truly happy. She wondered if it was too much to hope that he needed her too. She had been a silly child when she left him. She knew better now. Rachel couldn't wait to see him again at his show. But she found that she had to keep reminding herself—This is not a fairytale; this is not a fairytale.

So due in large part to her anxiousness, she arrived at the venue quite a bit early. It seemed that Noah (and Christina) hadn't arrived yet, so Rachel just walked around a little and then snagged a good seat. When she noticed a man heading her way, she frowned. It was not the man she wanted to see. This one appeared to be in his early thirties, and he strode purposefully toward her. Though he was attractive—with sandy brown hair and playful blue eyes, Rachel was in no mood to fend off flirts.

Fortunately, perhaps, the man was not there to flirt.

When the organizer of the festival recognized Rachel Berry, Oscar-winning actress, in the bar, he knew that she's a Broadway legend; and right away he had a brilliant idea.

"Excuse me, Miss Berry?" he said in a low voice to not attract attention. "I'm Dave Denton. I'm organizing the Tin Pan South Music Festival this year for singer/songwriters."

"Oh!" Rachel was caught off guard but she was always polite. "It is nice to meet you." She took his extended hand.

"The pleasure is all mine," Dave assured her. Then he got down to business. "I know you're not known as a songwriter, but you are well known as a singer. Since you're here visiting, I wonder if you'd mind performing a song for the crowd. It would be a real treat for us." And good publicity, he thought.

Rachel paused for a moment to consider the request. This could be her only chance to sing her feelings to Noah. "Thank you, I'd be happy to sing. I may actually have a song in mind that I think will be a crowd-pleaser. But it's a duet. Do you mind if I ask one of the singers in your festival to perform with me?"

"Mind? That would be fantastic!" Dave exclaimed. He couldn't believe his good luck.

"Great. I'll just have to find out if he's willing to help me."

"Who would turn you down?" Dave chuckled.

Rachel smiled sadly in return, which confused Dave, but she didn't directly answer his question. "I am here to see Noah Puckerman. We went to school together. I'd like to ask him to sing with me."

"Done." Dave said.

"Oh, no, I didn't mean that you should force him. I'll ask him, and if he declines, I'm sure another performer will be willing to sing with me."

"No, what you want, you're gonna get. Leave Puckerman to me. I can't imagine he'd decline anyway."

Rachel looked away nervously. He couldn't imagine it because he didn't know their history. But Rachel could imagine it. In great detail. And she didn't think that forcing him to sing with her would be a good start. She hoped she could explain herself before Mr. Denton found Noah. "Well, thank you, Mr. Denton. I look forward to performing for your crowd today."

"Call me Dave," he grinned. "And I'm the one looking forward to it. By the way, what song did you have in mind?"

"I'm thinking about performing Lady Antebellum's 'All We'd Ever Need'."

Dave nodded enthusiastically. "You're right, that'll be a real crowd-pleaser. Especially you and Puckerman together. I can already imagine that your voices would blend surprisingly well."

"They do," Rachel whispered with a slight nod.

"What's that?" asked Dave.

"I said, 'I agree', and I also want to thank you again."

Dave nodded, thanked her again profusely, and shook her hand a few more times, before he trotted off to call his media contact to make sure there'd be some coverage and photos of the event. He was very pleased with himself for landing this performance.

...

Rachel decided she should stand near the back entrance to run into Noah (and Christina) before Dave 'told him he'd be performing'. She knew that would not go over well. Luckily, she did manage to see him coming into the bar before Dave could beat her to it.

"Noah!" she said breathlessly after she ran to meet him. "I'm glad I caught you before Dave did."

"You know Dave?" he asked, confused. It didn't help that she was looking all fine, making it harder for Puck to concentrate.

Rachel explained how Dave introduced himself and asked her to perform.

"We were hoping—No, I am hoping that you would be willing to perform a duet with me."

Puck gulped. Rachel thought it would have almost been comical if she hadn't been so saddened by his reaction. Not that she expected him to break into a huge smile; although maybe that's one way she had imagined this going. (This is not a fairytale.) Christina walked in behind Puck, and Dave happened to spot them all together. Puck started to answer, "Well, Rachel, I don't know… This is really short notice and really…unexpected."

Dave interrupted. "Oh, good. Puckerman, Soriano," he acknowledged the two familiar singers. "I see our visiting starlet has already approached you with our proposition. I've already called some of my contacts. Great publicity for us and you, Puckerman. Miss Berry here was worried, but I couldn't imagine you'd tell this pretty gal 'No'."

"Well, sir…" Puck began.

"I'm sure I can ask someone else," Rachel said quickly.

"Oh no, he'll do it," Christina announced. Puck raised an eyebrow. "I mean, we'll do it," Christina corrected. She looked at Rachel, then at Puck. "You two will sing. I'll accompany you on the guitar."

"Thank you, Christina," Rachel said gratefully.

Christina gave a quick nod. "I'll get the guitar. What song should I be practicing? Maybe I should've asked that first."

"Yeah, among other things," Puck grumbled.

Rachel blushed. Dave spoke up, "Oh, it's one ya'll know. The lovely lady here suggested 'All We'd Ever Need' by Lady Antebellum. Good choice, don't you agree?"

Christina nodded again and elbowed Puck to speak up. "Yeah, good."

Dave shook his head, wondering why Puckerman was at a loss for words. He was usually quite the smooth talker. He chalked it up to being star-struck. "I'll give you a chance to do a run-through backstage, and then it'll be go time."

"Thank you, Dave," Rachel said politely.

"No, again, thank you."

After he left, Rachel tried to explain the situation and apologize again for putting him in an awkward position.

"It's ok, Rachel," Puck said firmly. "Just not what I was expecting to deal with today."

"I understand," she said quietly. Then she spoke a bit more brightly. "I'm changing the words a bit, just so you know."

Puck looked at her questioningly.

"I've noticed that this song seems to direct a lot of blame toward the male vocalist, in my opinion at least. So I'm changing the words for the female vocals. Because leaving was my fault. And I'm sorry."

For the second time in 24 hours, Puck felt another pair of dark brown eyes looking deep into his soul. His heart ached for her, how sad she looked. And his heart ached for himself—how broken she'd made him all these years. Finally, he said, "Thank you."

Rachel thought she knew why he said that, but she couldn't help the question in her eyes—which he could read, of course. He could be very good at that. Sometimes he was clueless and needed to be told directly (multiple times). Other times he seemed to know exactly what she was thinking.

"I'm thanking you for not blaming me anymore. And for you apologizing for leaving me."

"Oh, Noah," she started to reach for him, but stopped herself as she remembered how he had pulled away from her touch the night before. "Like I said last night, I am so sorry. It's hard to express in words how truly sorry I am." She had leaned closer, as if the proximity would help to really get him to understand her words. But she balled her hands into fists at her sides to force herself not to touch him and send him running away. (This is not a fairytale.)

"I think I can forgive you," he said in a low voice.

"Really?"

"I think I'm on my way," he said cautiously.

Rachel couldn't help herself. She threw her arms around him in a fierce hug.

Puck sputtered a little. Then he relaxed and let his arms do what they'd been itching to do—wrap around her and hold her tight.

Christina walked backstage with a guitar, picking out the song. She had been looking down at the strings and didn't realize what she was interrupting. "Oh, sorry," she said when she looked up at the two in their embrace.

They both dropped their arms and looked back at her with somewhat guilty expressions.

"It's no big deal," Christina shrugged. "We probably don't need a run-through anyway. Christina turned and walked away.

Puck gave Rachel an apologetic look but no explanation as he ran after Christina.

Rachel sat backstage, wondering what had just happened.

...

When Dave saw Christina come from backstage with her guitar, he figured they were ready to play. He walked up to meet her –and Puckerman who had trailed her. "Great, guys. I'll go ahead and announce you. Get on up to the stage now." He shooed them as he headed in the opposite direction.

"Shit," said Puck. Christina gave him a look—though he wasn't sure what this one meant—and she headed toward the stage. It was too late to turn back. In Dave's words, it was go time.

When he got back to Rachel, he told her quickly, "We gotta do this now, cold."

Rachel opened her mouth, then closed it and nodded. "I'm ready."

"Let's do this shit," Puck said out loud. But he didn't look at Rachel or Christina. They all three inhaled deeply—for slightly different reasons.

...

"Ladies and gentlemen, it's my distinct pleasure to announce a special treat. The winner of the Academy Award for Best Actress is actually here, tonight, and she's graciously agreed to perform a song. Please welcome Broadway legend Rachel Berry with our own Noah Puckerman, accompanied by Christina Soriano on a song I think you'll all recognize." Dave announced and reveled in the thunderous applause. This was one of the best ideas ever.

The trio walked out on stage and Christina took a seat in the background and began playing the tune on her guitar.

Rachel and Puck took seats on stools near the front of the stage, and Rachel looked at him as she began to sing her heart out:

Boy it's been all this time
And I can't get you off my mind
And nobody knows it but me

I stare at your photograph
Still sleep in the shirt you left
And nobody knows it but me

Every day I wipe my tears away
So many nights I've prayed for you to say

[Chorus]
I should've been chasing you
I should've been trying to prove
That you were all that mattered to me
I should've said all the things
that I kept inside of me
And maybe I could've made you believe
That what we had was all we'd ever need

Puck looked at Rachel, but he couldn't hold her gaze as he sang. So he turned to the crowd.

My friends think I'm moving on
But the truth is I'm not that strong
And nobody knows it but me

And I've kept all the words you said
In a box underneath my bed
And nobody knows it but me

But if you're happy I'll get through somehow
But the truth is that I've been screaming out

[Repeat Chorus]

Rachel joined him, changing the lyrics to put blame on herself. She stood up, and put her hand on his shoulder as he sat stiffly.

I should've been chasing you
[I] should've been trying to prove
That you were all that mattered to me
Oh [I] should've said all the things
That I kept inside of me
And maybe [ I] could've made [us] believe
That what we had girl

Puck stood up and took her hand as they sang together:

Oh that what we had, what we had
It was all we'd ever need
It was all we'd ever need

They looked at each other with shining eyes as the applause filled their ears. Puck squeezed her hand before letting it go. Rachel spoke into the microphone for all to hear, but her purpose was just for him to hear her over the crowd, "I know now. It was all we'd ever need."

A small smile escaped Puck, but he didn't answer. Instead he spoke to the crowd, "Rachel Berry, everyone!" And another roar of applause erupted. In that moment, Rachel felt a surge of hope that maybe everything would be alright.

Meanwhile, Christina swallowed the annoying lump that had formed in her throat during the performance.

"Thank you," Rachel said to the crowd, and then her eyes locked with Puck's again. He nodded and guided her off of the stage. Christina followed, alone.

"Well," Puck said. "That was…"

"Amazing," Christina finished for him, as she came up behind Puck.

"Thank you, Christina," Rachel said.

Puck just nodded. Christina took over. "Well, we're about to go on for our showcase, and Puck and I need to run through some stuff he wrote last night without me."

"Oh, yeah, that's right," Puck said. "Thanks for reminding me, Chris."

She shrugged, "That's what I'm here for."

They paused awkwardly, and Rachel realized they didn't want her to witness their rehearsal. "Oh, I see. I'll just go wait in the audience like everyone else." She walked purposefully away from the two of them, uncertainty rolling in her stomach.

...

Christina turned to Puck, "So which song is it going to be?" She was pretty sure she knew which way this was going to go.

She was right.

...

Puck and Christina performed their last showcase of the festival. They did all of the songs that they had planned: a little rock, a little country, a little R&B, and a little soul, all to show their range as artists. But before their last song, Puck spoke into the microphone while Christina prepared the keyboard. "I wrote this song last night about someone who's still important to me. It's our first time playing it, so, uh, I hope you like it. It's called 'Wishin'."

You know that I've been wishing for you some day
I know your coming back, (I know your coming back girl) baby
(Someday) tell me why you went away (why you went away)
And left me lonely (left me lonely)

Christina sang the chorus in her clear melodic tones.

[CHORUS] I'm wishing on a star, (I'm wishing on a star)
To follow where you are, (to follow where you are)
I'm wishing on a dream (I'm wishing on a dream)
To follow all my dreams (to follow all these dreams)

If I could take every second, every moment that we spent,
Erase it from my life and start over again,
I wouldn't do it I couldn't even try,
Cuz even if the pain and the tears never dry,
At least I know I had my days with you,
Remembering when it was just me and you,
I closed my eyes and wished it was a dream,
That I could wake up and you would be next to me,
Did you love me did you lie to me,
Why'd you make a promise that you knew you couldn't keep?
You got me twisted and I'm losing my grip,
If I never met you girl love wouldn't mean shhhh,
So I ain't never giving up on you,
I built my whole world and it was all around you,
I made a promise and I'm keeping it true,
So I'll never love again if I can't have you

Rachel looked up at Noah with hope pooling in her eyes as Christina repeated the chorus

[CHORUS]

If I had a wish, baby, it would be this,
Take you back to the days where we first kissed,
You had never been touched we loved each other so much,
Holding you tight until the moon at night,
I was yours you were mine everything was all right,
A wish upon a star most precious of all,
Can't imagine being without you with all we've been through,
There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do for you,
Now I sit here alone never knew I could cry,
All I have is painful memories and wondering why,
Why you left me cold rip my heart from my soul,
Every day I pray I'll see your smile once more,
Come back love I need you can't take it no more,
Dying inside life means nothing no more,
Don't wanna say goodbye but I gotta let you know,
If you ever change your mind my love is all yours.

[CHORUS]
I'm wishing on a star
You know I'm wishing on a star
Trying to follow where you are,
(Trying to follow where you are tonight)
Ohh you are you are
(Where are you baby),
You know I'm wishing on a star
(I'm wishing, on a star)
Trying to follow where you are, you are
Oh you are you are you are you are

Now when I had you I loved you,
And when you had me all you ever did was hurt me,
Even when I wanted to let got I couldn't my soul wouldn't let me,
Even on the bad days I smiled on the good days we shared together
And it's hard to enjoy the success without you here but I maintained,
Magic told me this was gonna be my best verse,
I told him I just wrote it down cuz my soul hurt,
I'm tired of living a lie I miss how she hugged and kissed me, loved and held me
Never thought my heaven could turn to hell so quickly,
You gave me this broken heart you're the only one that could fix it,
Forget the past we got a lifetime to make up for that
And even thought we met other people we got to admit
It's never equal the sunshine and the pleasure that we made together

[CHORUS]
I'm wishing on a star
You know I'm wishing on a star
Trying to follow where you are,
(Trying to follow where you are tonight)
Ohh you are you are
(Where are you baby),
You know I'm wishing on a star
(I'm wishing, on a star)
Trying to follow where you are, you are
Oh you are you are you are you are

Rachel's heart was touched and tears spilled down her cheeks. She wiped them with her napkin and praised her waterproof mascara. She was a ball of nerves and could not wait until the man on stage was back in her arms again. She stood up and waited near the stage exit.

When he emerged, she thought he'd never looked so good. She was biased of course. She also thought she had never been so anxious in her life. Rachel stood before him, wringing her hands together, before letting them go to smooth out her skirt. "Noah, does this mean…?"

He took her by the shoulders as he interrupted her, "I mean what I said, but I think we need to talk."

"Oh," Rachel's heart sunk a little at his tone. (This is not a fairytale.)

"Will you come out for coffee with me after Chris and I drop off our equipment?"

"Of course," Rachel felt the hope rise again. "Where should I meet you?"

"Well, you don't have a car here, right?"

"That is correct."

"Then just come with us. Besides, you can help us unload," Puck smirked.

Rachel wondered momentarily if she should ask to go back to the hotel and change, but then she realized she didn't really have any 'equipment moving clothes' with her anyway. "Sure," she smiled softly, trying to keep her heart from racing. This could be the beginning…of their new beginning.

...

After they loaded up the equipment in the trailer, Puck opened the passenger door of the truck cab and gestured for Rachel to climb inside. So she did, followed by Christina. Puck closed the door and walked to the driver's side.

Rachel sat in the middle seat of the truck—she was the shortest after all. But she felt like she was also in the middle of something else. It felt as though she may be breaking up something important by being there between Noah and Christina. She wasn't sure what to do to make the unsettled feeling in her stomach go away. So, she did what she often did when she was nervous. She talked.

"Christina, I feel like you may already know some things about me. And I already know some things about Noah. Though I don't know much about what has happened in his life over the past five years. But I think we're going to catch up a little when we go for coffee shortly. In the meantime, would you like to tell me a little about yourself?"

Christina looked at Rachel, and she was a bit startled because their faces were so close and this movie star/ Broadway singer was looking up at her so earnestly. Christina was at least a head taller than Rachel and she looked away as she laughed at the absurdity of the situation. "I don't want to talk right into your ear, so I'll look out this way. Please don't be offended."

"Oh," Rachel blushed. "Of course."

"It's funny," Christina started. "Yesterday you seemed like this big star who was on a different level. And today, the way you just looked at me so…sincerely…you seem more like a normal person."

Puck snorted a laugh. Rachel seemed shocked. "Of course I'm a normal person. But I'm sorry if I seemed abnormal yesterday."

Christina laughed again. "Abnormal. Ha! I didn't mean it like that."

"Somehow, this conversation has turned back to me when my intent was to ask about you," Rachel said, uncomfortable with the direction Christina was going.

"Right. I'm sorry." Christina tried to lean towards the window so she could somewhat look toward Rachel as she talked and not be in her face. "Well, I'm obviously a singer/songwriter, and I came to Nashville with Puck to try to make my dreams come true. We met in college—I guess it was soon after you left—and we eventually found we had common interests. So when he asked me to follow him here, I did."

"Oh. He asked you to follow him…and you did…" Rachel spoke slowly. Suddenly, Rachel felt as though she were being crushed—like the worst feeling of claustrophobia was over taking her. She started to breath heavily.

"Are you ok?" Christina asked. "Puck, I think she looks like she's gonna be sick!" Puck pulled the truck over, and Christina slipped out of the cab to give Rachel some room. Rachel swung her legs so she was sitting in the seat, but dangling almost outside of the truck. She stared at the side of the road below her and tried to breathe normally. Suddenly, her view was blocked by a dark shirt and she felt strong hands grasping her shoulders.

"Rachel," Puck said. "Are you ok? I think I know why you're freaking. It's different. Everything's different," he spoke gently. "I was stupid not to come willingly to New York with you. First class idiot. But you were just as bad by leaving me like that. Don't you think?"

Rachel nodded slowly and closed her eyes.

"We're two idiots sometimes, you and me. Christina came with me because we both had the same goals. She came as my friend. We were a little older, a little wiser. She didn't follow me because she loved me."

"That's not exactly true, Puck," Christina said. Rachel's eyes snapped open. "I mean," she said quickly, "I did come with you because I love you, but as a friend. As a friend," she assured Rachel. Puck looked at Christina warmly before turning back to Rachel.

"Are you gonna be ok for me to drive us the rest of the way? It's only about 5 more minutes."

Rachel nodded again and moved back to the middle seat. They rode the rest of the way in silence.

...

When they arrived at the condos, Rachel claimed she was perfectly fine and insisted on helping move the equipment. Puck let her carry a guitar. They rode up the elevator and got to Puck's door. Rachel started to follow him inside when he stopped her. "Actually, follow Christina. That one goes with her."

Rachel turned to see Christina opening the neighboring door. "Oh, next door neighbors."

"Yeah, it's convenient," Puck shrugged.

Rachel glanced at him with an inscrutable look before entering Christina's condo.

Puck wondered if maybe he should have said he'd meet Rachel for coffee instead of taking her to experience 'his environment'.

But they made quick work of unloading, and soon he and Rachel were on their way to have coffee together at a local favorite, JJ's.

...

Rachel made a conscious effort not to fidget as they waited for their coffee. Puck was quiet, but she couldn't call it uncharacteristically quiet. He had always been rather quiet by nature (compared to Rachel) when they were together, and she supposed he wanted to speak more privately about matters instead of letting the barista hear bits and pieces of their life stories. He guided her to a corner with two comfortable chairs separated by a low table. There were few patrons and Rachel felt like it was a nice and fairly secluded place for their conversation. She took a sip of her low fat latte.

"It's good," she remarked—feeling ridiculous for reverting to small talk.

"Yeah, they have good coffee here."

But since Puck kept the small talk alive, Rachel decided she had to proactive to make this time together productive. She began, "Yesterday I was able to express some of my feelings to you, and today I was able to express some more of my feelings through song. I am still in love with you. And I am so sorry. I want to do whatever I can to have another chance to make this work. I am touched and hopeful after your song today, and you asked if I would come here. I hope you are ready to tell me what is on your mind."

"You haven't really changed, have you?" Puck asked, slightly amused by her way with words.

"Only in good ways," she leaned toward him. "I'm more mature. I'm more understanding. I'm trying to be a better person. Tell me, Noah, what do you want to know? I'll tell you anything."

Puck set down his coffee slowly and prepared himself for this question. "How do you know you're in love with me? How can we know that we're not in love with the memories we have of each other? How can we know we'd be in love with the people we are now?"

"We give it a try. An honest try. I know I'll regret it if I don't at least try. That's why I'm here."

"How can we do that hundreds of miles away?"

"We don't. Like I said, that's why I'm here, in Nashville. To come to you. To try."

Puck's brow furrowed. "Rachel, what are you saying?"

"I'm willing to do what it takes. How about half the year in Nashville, half in New York, pursuing both our dreams? I just wrapped a show, and the movie paid pretty well, so even if I don't get a well-paying entertainment job while I'm here, I should be able to survive for about 6 months. But I will probably need to occasionally go back to New York to audition so that at the end of that time I'll have another show lined up. Of course, this is all assuming that you're even interested in me doing that, which I suppose we haven't exactly established…"

Puck cut her off by taking her tiny hands in his. "Consider it established."

Rachel felt as though her heart were nearly bursting from her chest. She was so full of warmth in that moment, and she basically lost control of her actions. She found she had scurried into his lap and upon realizing what she had done, she threw her arms around his neck in a tight hug. She felt tears streaming down her cheeks—tears she didn't even know had built up there, and she began shaking with racking sobs.

"Shh, it's ok, Rach," Puck whispered as he stroked her hair tenderly.

She loved the comfort she felt in his arms. She tried to calm her breathing. "I just…I hoped, but I…I never dreamed this would happen. Well, actually, I did dream that it would…but I was so uncertain…" Rachel pulled herself away from him a bit so that she could dry her eyes. She didn't leave her spot on his lap, and he didn't release his hold.

"Rach, we need to take it slow," Puck started to say, but Rachel was already moving back in towards him and as the word 'slow' left his lips, her lips were pressed to his. She had waited so long for this. She needed this type of comfort.

His hands roamed her body and he kissed her back deeply.

The cough of a customer reminded them where they were. Rachel slid off of his lap sheepishly. "Can we take these coffees to-go?"

Puck grinned. "Where to, little lady."

"My hotel?" she asked. "To talk and take it slow?"

"Sure, we still have a lot to talk about," Puck said. "And I do mean talk," he emphasized.

"My, how it seems the tables have turned," Rachel remarked.

Puck reached for her hand. "Hopefully everything that's changed has changed for the better." He gave her fingers a squeeze.

Rachel lifted her coffee cup toward him, "To new beginnings and good decisions."

Puck brought his cup to hers lightly. His eyes told her everything she needed to know at the moment. And she would wait to discover everything involved in re-learning the love of her life.

...

After 6 months, Puck made a big decision. The one Rachel had been waiting for. He was going to move in with her in her New York apartment. They had many discussions because Rachel wanted to make sure that he wasn't giving up on his dreams. She wanted him to follow his own dreams too—she just always thought they could both pursue their dreams together in New York. And now, that was finally what they were going to do.

But Puck had a few things to tie up in Nashville.

...

Christina crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Look, you know I'm happy for you. And I'm flattered you're asking. I just… I don't want to be that brainless girl who runs after you all the time, Puck. I followed you from Ohio to Nashville. Now you think I should follow you to New York while you try to make it work with your ex-girlfriend?"

"She's been my girlfriend again for a long time, and you know it," Puck rolled his eyes. She rolled her eyes back. Then he got serious. "I know it's a lot to ask, Chris. But you and I are such a good team. I don't want to lose you and I don't want to lose her. And New York is a great place for musicians."

"Better than Hollywood?" she asked with playful skepticism.

"Way better."

She smirked at him. He looked at her hopefully.

"And you don't think Rachel will mind?"

"She suggested it," Puck said honestly.

Christina's eyes widened, as she let out her breath in surprise. "Well, I'll think about it… You know, you're one lucky bastard, Noah Puckerman."

"I know it, Chris. I really do." He scooped her up into a hug. Chris relaxed in his arms and she felt a warmth in her chest. Damn, she was probably going to follow this idiot again, wasn't she? Or maybe she would make another fresh start in life.

... Five years later ...

Noah Puckerman had finally achieved almost everything he'd ever wanted. Here he was; a small gathering at their favorite place with his family and friends to celebrate a record deal. Not just selling songs for others to sing—his own record. He had the love of the perfect woman for him. And as he looked into her shining brown eyes, he knew she loved him too. Really loved him. Not the immature love of teen crushes, but a deep and passionate love unlike anything he'd ever known.

"Speech!" someone in the crowd called out.

"Song!" another voice shouted.

Puck laughed heartily. "I'll give you a little of both." He headed to the small stage. "I just want to thank everyone for coming here tonight to celebrate with me and for all of you who have helped me, well us, along the way. But most of all, I want to thank my wife." He looked into her eyes—which were full of pride and tears—and his heart swelled with love for her. The crowd 'aw'd'.

Puck continued, "Babe, without you, I wouldn't be here. Your undying love for me has kept me going, kept me strong. I love you more than words can say." He sat down at the keyboard. "So forgive me while I sing instead. This one's called, 4-ever." The crowd applauded.

This song right here
Is dedicated to someone real special
This for you baby
Jus to let you know how much I love you girl
Come here

[Chorus]
Have I ever told you lady
That you mean the world to me
And you know I'm gonna love you forever
Forever you and me
Have I ever told you baby
That you're always on my mind
And you know I'm gonna love you forever
Until the end of time.

You say you love me pretty lady and you're down for me
And so I I made this promise girl to always be your everything
Turn down the lights the music up and put your hands in mine
And let me show you girl these feelings that I hold inside
Never wanna be without you girl cuz you're my pretty lady
I lose my mind every time your kisses drive me crazy,
So tell me baby, do you feel for me what I feel for you?
Do you love me girl like I love you para siempre me and you

[Chorus]
Have I ever told you lady?
That you mean the world to me
And you know I'm gonna love you forever
Forever you and me
Have I ever told you baby?
That you're always on my mind
And you know I'm gonna love you forever
Until the end of time.

Hey pretty girl you know I love you can't stop thinking about you
Always and forever you and I will be together
The love I have for you until I die I will treasure
Every minute every hour can't stop thinking of you
My days won't be complete without a smile from you
Hold my hand understand your the light of my life,
You're my girl, my friend that's why I made you my wife

Now if I've never said it then imma say it now
In front of the whole world baby girl imma say it proud,
I'm still in love you, even through the things we've been through
I can still smile, I can still say my heart belongs to only you now
I breathe and live for you and my kids
We've been through the rain the love and the pain,
Little sunshine in the end how the fairy tales end
Happily ever after forever I will be your man

The small audience of their friends clapped heartily. Puck stepped down from the stage into the waiting arms of his beautiful wife. "I love you, Noah Puckerman."

"I love you too, Rachel Puckerman." And he kissed her so soundly that it took her breath away. Almost like a fairytale.

"We're so lucky, Noah. Everything we overcame to get to this point." Rachel kissed her husband as she snuggled into his embrace.

He smiled into her lips. "Yeah, I'm a lucky bastard."

"Yes, you really are," piped up a voice behind him. "Congratulations, Noah Puckerman. You're New York's latest big thing."

Puck smirked as he turned to the woman, "Congratulations to you too, Christina." He released Rachel to embrace his friend, and then he shook the hand of the man next to her. "Congrats, Dave."

Rachel squealed and hugged Christina too. "Congratulations! How many weeks?"

"Nine weeks," Christina smiled as her hand instinctively found itself on her abdomen. Rachel hugged Christina's husband next. "I'm so happy for you two!"

"Thank you," Christina and Dave said together.

Puck chuckled. "Alright, Chris, you get a pass 'cause you're gonna have a rug rat soon, but you owe me a duet on my record."

"I'm pregnant, Puck; I can still sing," Christina shook her head.

"Is that right? Then I think my two favorite ladies are going to have to sing with the Puckster."

"The Puckster?" Rachel and Christina groaned.

"Dude?" asked Dave concisely.

"He's called himself that since high school," Rachel explained. "But it's made an unexpected reappearance…" She looked at her husband questioningly.

"I guess I'm just thinking about which nicknames I get to keep, and which ones I'll use for our future little ones," he grinned.

"Oh, is that it? Thinking of babies now, are we?" Rachel teased.

"Well making babies is my favorite activity," he said as he leered down at her.

She slapped at his chest playfully. "I think we should discuss this at home."

"Can't help myself," Puck shrugged. "My woman is hot."

Rachel blushed. She was still so affected by him.

Christina and Dave rolled their eyes and laughed at the adorable couple.

Puck and Rachel didn't stay at the party for much longer.

And they wouldn't be a family of two for much longer either. Nothing could have made them happier. Both Rachel and Noah Puckerman knew that while they had taken some difficult turns along the way, in the end, they had made the right choice, the right decision, when they chose each other.

...

End