Chapter 16

"Can you even believe it? All that we've done, all of our planning has gone to waste… Candace is still walking and talking like the queen of Sheba." Marie slammed her head onto the lunch table, grunting in frustration. Ash tried to give her a comforting smile, but the best she could muster was a faint grimace.

Her father, after that unfortunate incident, was very unhappy to say the least. Mom apologized on my behalf, and even ordered an apology cake, but we were sure that my short lived, but very eventful friendship with them was over.

That is until Ashley's father called and invited us over to dinner.

It was a more pleasant affair then the dinner with the Blacks. After my sister revealed what she had overheard, it took everything in my power to maintain a plain face and get on with the meal. What was worse, was the way that Gabriel was looking at me… Like he knew something. His parents could tell the three of us were now tense, but said nothing of it. They smiled and laughed, but you could cut the tension with a knife.

No, this dinner was much better. Mr. Wright, by the grace of some God, had decided that everyone gets into trouble now and then, and since none of us were being charged, he would be willing to let this little situation go if I promised to stay out of trouble… or at least keep Ashley out of any future trouble I would get in. He laughed, but there was a very serious look on his face.

Ash and Marie would no longer be included in my scheming.

"Sorry guys, Ash's dad laid down the hammer, and so did my mom. No more tomfoolery or I'll never see the light of day again."

"Maybe it's for the best. I don't think I'm equipped to handle a life of crime." Ashly grabbed her carton of milk and brought it to her mouth. Both she and I were still grounded.

"A life of crime, it was just one slashed tire_"

"That's a crime Marie." I muttered. I had tasted dirty rubber for days after biting down on Avery's tire (punishment enough in my opinion). "Don't worry guys; we've done all we could, now we have to leave it to Lady Karma."

"Karma takes too long!" Marie slammed her hands on the table, and pushed herself away. Ash reached out to stop her, but I shook my head.

"Let her go, kid. It's hard to admit defeat." Marie had made it out scott free in the parent department, but Candace was worse than ever. The night in question had been recorded by multiple people, and once she saw how sloppy drunk she had gotten, and how coldly Gabriel had responded to her, it really seemed to fuel the bitterness in her heart.

"This sucks. We put our all into something, and it didn't pan out." Ash frowned, her eyes dropping down to the half eaten food in front of her.

"Yeah, that happens more than I like to admit." I huffed, my appetite quickly fading.

"So I heard you got sacked up with the mentoring program… When does it start?" Ashley tried to lighten the heavy mood that had begun to fall upon us, but her comment only made me groan louder.

"Shit, dude, I totally forgot about that. I dunno, I think it starts after break. Ms. Small had a conference with my mom and they somehow worked it out that I would begin my tutoring at the start of next quarter. She said she was gonna squeak me by with a c- if I did some extra credit for her." Mom had given her the sob story of how badly I was taking my parents impending divorce, and I guess the guilt made her pity pass me for this quarter.

"Do you know your mentoring buddy?" I shrugged as the bell rang. "I have no clue. I'm only doing this so I can pass, I'm not too worried about it." To be completely honest, I had other things on my mind.

"Well I guess you're gonna be pretty occupied when it starts… Do you think your mom will let us hang out over break?"

I shook my head.

"Nah, sorry. Emi and I are staying with my dad over break." It was a week before Thanksgiving break, and it would be the first time I would be seeing my dad in person in nearly four months.

Dad… The thought of him put a lump in my throat. He was fighting our mother for custody, which meant it really was the end of our happy family. Emi would most likely want to stay with mom, and me…

I didn't want to think about it… I didn't really want to think about anything.

I was just going through the motions, going to school, coming home, eating, sleeping, making words that didn't really have any emotion behind them. I felt like a doll, completely hollow, mimicking how I used to be.

I guess that was the biggest difference between Emi and me, as a phoenix, she wore her heart on her sleeve. Her emotions shined as brightly as her flames, while mine sank into the trenches, buried under mountains of pressure.

That was why it was so easy for her to talk to my mom about the whole thing. They spoke for hours, both of them crying on each other's shoulders, while I just sat motionless in the background. It felt like my head was underwater, and I could hardly hear them.

"Elaine? Earth to Ellllaaaine?" I blinked a couple of times, shaking my head before turning to look at Gabriel's dumb smug face. Ever since that terrible dinner, he had been hovering. I guess he was just another shoulder for my sister to cry on, making sure she was doing alright since they were suddenly such good friends… It was annoying, but in a way, his presence made me feel a little better.

"Don't call me that." I crossed my arms and glared. It was the Friday before break, and he and Emi had been hanging around our house gossiping about who knows what. I tried to just zone them out, but they had insisted on me hanging around them to 'keep me out of trouble'.

Emi was on the phone ordering pizza for the three of us, while I sat at the kitchen table scribbling in my journal. Gabriel had sat himself across from me, a shit eating grin on his face.

"What? Is there something on my face?" I huffed, but the smile never left his face.

"You're failing biology… Right?" My shoulders slumped and I groaned. Closing my journal, and fastening the gold lock, I stared right into his forest green eyes and glared.

"Yeah… So? Did my mom tell you?" He chuckled.

"You know you could have asked me for help. Believe it or not, I'm a straight A student."

"Oh I believe it Mr. Perfect." Emi walked over to the table, sitting beside me.

"Is this about the tutoring thing?" She reached across the table and pulled an apple from the centerpiece.

"Tutoring thing?"

"Yeah, Gabe is gonna be your mentoring buddy for the tutoring thing mom signed you up for because you failed bio. You know, she had to do a lot of fast talking to get you a C_"

"Wait, wait, wait, hold up. What do you mean Gabriel is my mentoring buddy? How do you know?" I turned to look at him, his stupid little smile now making much more sense. "How do you even know that you're my partner?"

He chuckled.

"The email came out last week with the pairings… Didn't you read it?"

"She's still grounded from the little tire incident, she probably didn't." Emi giggled and I felt the color drain from my face and relocate to my ears.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me." I moaned and he laughed, loudly.

"Nope." He popped the 'p' and winked, "With my help, you're gonna pass biology with flying colors."

"Fuck me_"

"Hey, El, come on with the guttermouth. You better fix that before we get home or dad is gonna lose it." Gabriel's brows furrowed, and I rolled my eyes.

"My dad is pretty old fashioned, he raised his daughters to be_"

"Proper little ladies_" Emi and I both feigned english accents, our voices octaves higher than normal. Emi snorted, and we both began to laugh.

"Yeah, yeah, I know the drill. Dad's not gonna hear a peep out of me." My eyes dropped to the front on my journal, and I traced over the green leather with my fingertips. Written in between the off white pages, in my barely legible handwriting were all the things I wanted to say, but never would.

"So when are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow night. Mom pulled us out of school so we would have a week with him." Gabriel went rigid, for a moment, his face contorting into an expression I couldn't quite place.

"You okay?" I guess Emi had noticed it as well. She reached her hand out and touched his arm.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I didn't realize you were leaving so soon…" He trailed off, pulling his arm away from Emi.

"Why would that matter?" He shook his head quickly, flashing the two of us a smile.

"It doesn't, I mean_" Before he could continue, the doorbell rang, saving him from the hot seat.

"I'll get it." He bolted from his seat, and Emi was close behind him.

"Wait, you don't have the money!" I let out a dry chuckle, leaving my own seat to sneak back off to my room. I had hardly packed my clothes in small piles all over my floor and dresser. I always thought that I would be ready the moment it was time for me to head back to New York, but it felt like something was gnawing at me to stay.

I hid out in my room for the rest of the night, using my lack of packed clothes as an excuse. I could hear Gabriel and Emi chatting quietly in the living room for a little while, but it wasn't long after I made my departure that he left too.

The minutes slipped by, turning into hours when my mom finally got home. She knocked on my door, barely giving me time to answer her when she opened it.

"You're leaving for the airport tomorrow night and you still haven't packed? What have you been doing all day Elaine?" She looked tired, there were deep bags under her eyes, and her shoulders looked especially heavy.

"Packing…" Stepping over my various piles, she sat down at the edge of my bed and sighed.

"Why does it always feel like I'm lecturing you_"

"It's because you are." I muttered and she scowled at me. She crossed her arms, a deep frown etching itself on her face, making her look years older than she actually was.

"What choice do you give me Elaine? Hm? What do you expect when every damn time I leave you alone, I believe you're showing an ounce of maturity, you backtrack ten steps?"

I shrugged, not looking her in the eyes. I just played with the hole in my faded pajama shirt. There was a moment of silence, and for a second, I thought mom was going to start yelling. She took in a short inhale of breath… and began to sob.

"Damn it Elaine, I'm trying!" My head shot up, and I could see the mascara streaking her cheeks, her eyes red and puffy as she cried. "I am trying so hard. I'm trying to make you happy, trying to appease your father, trying to keep everything together." She placed her face in her hands, and I felt guilt, true guilt like I had never felt before crush me.

"Mom… Please don't cry." My voice was soft, and I leaned up towards her, balancing on my knees. I reached out and tried to pry her hands from her face, but she held them firm. "Mommy, I'm sorry."

"N…o, I-I'm s-sorry…" She wailed, trying to catch her her breath. "I-I'm sorry, I'm really t-trying baby. I j-just love you and Emilia so m-much!"

"I know mom. I'll be good this time. I'll… I'll…" I felt tears well up in my own eyes, but I blinked them away. "I love you mom."

She reached out suddenly, wrapping her arms around me and pulling me close with a strength only a mother could. She placed her face in my hair and cried gently, holding me so tightly I almost struggled to breath. I just let her hold me and cry.

As she cried, I let the pain wash over me before burying it away at the bottom of my heart.

*Here is the next chapter. I'm trying to develop the feelings of loss and grief, so please let me know how I'm doing! I really appreciate all the comments and feedback, it really fuels me, so thank you in advance! XOXO Randomkay*