&&&
The next day General Hawk gathered the Misfits together to give an important announcement.
"Listen up!" Hawk ordered. "Professor Xavier and I had a…talk last night." Pietro raised a hand.
"Was this before or after the third shot of vodka?" He asked. Hawk glared at him.
"In an attempt to foster better relations and teamwork between the X-Men and the Misfits, we decided to establish an exchange program between the two teams."
"…Meaning?" Todd asked.
"Meaning that—temporarily—one of you will trade places and stay at the Institute as an X-Man." Hawk answered. "By the same token, two X-Men will be coming here to be Misfits."
"I guess this is because there are more X-Men than Misfits, right?" Althea asked. At Hawk's nod she continued. "Who's coming? Who's going?"
"That's up to you. We decided to be a bit realistic here and recognized that there's no point in forcing you guys to accept someone you don't like and don't want to work with in the first place. Whoever comes here, it'll have to be because you want them here."
"Who says we want any of them?" Pietro called out. Everyone ignored him.
"This is serious people." Hawk said looking at each Misfit in turn. "This is not going to be an exercise where you bring an X-Man you just want to torture. The two X-Men who come will train with you, fight with you, live with you. Think carefully before you choose. I'll want your answers by tomorrow evening. I'll also let you know whom the X-Men picked to come stay with them. Dismissed."
"Um, General Hawk? You're in our house." Arcade pointed out.
"Riiiight. Carry on." Hawk said as he beat a hasty retreat and left the Misfits alone to plan.
"So now what, yo?" Todd wondered.
"I guess we should go through the list and eliminate anyone we know we couldn't put up with: people we couldn't stand living with for a while." Althea reasoned.
"That means Summers is out." Lance grunted. "So is Bobby. Colossus too."
"And Kitty!" Spyder said vehemently.
"And how!" Lance agreed.
"Isn't it great how many friends Lance makes with the X-Geeks?" Pietro asked sardonically.
"Jean's out." Fred muttered. "And Gambit."
"Kurt too." Todd said.
"I thought you two buried the hatchet, more-or-less." Angelica noted. Todd shrugged.
"Yeah, I guess, but why risk going back a couple of steps, you know? I mean, Fuzzy ain't going to be too fond of our Mystique dartboard or our Mystique bashing sessions."
"Good point." Althea allowed as she scratched off Kurt's name.
"Rogue wouldn't be a good idea either." Wanda spoke up. "As much fun as it would be to have the two of us beating the crud out of Pietro together, the house might not be able to survive it."
"Yeah, having more than two of Magneto's kids living in one house will probably cause the universe to explode." Arcade reasoned.
"And we don't want to risk having whatever progress those two made get sent back over bathroom time or whatever else gets under their skin from living together." Althea agreed.
"Too bad." Fred said. "Could have had us an old Brotherhood reunion."
"Like Rogue really missed those days." Pietro snorted. "Face it, we couldn't put up with any of the main X-Men living with us for any period of time."
"Or vice versa." Wanda said, looking at her brother.
"What about X23?" Xi asked. "She's on the main team and she has no old grudge against the old Brotherhood. We get on fine."
"For some reason, I'm not surprised." Shane said wryly.
"I don't know if SHIELD would approve of her leaving the X-Mansion." Althea mused. "They keep pretty close tabs on her."
"And don't forget that she's a feral type and she's been trained to attack amphibian types." Lance reminded everyone.
"You don't think she'd hurt Little C, would she?" Fred asked worriedly.
"Claudius I don't know. Althea and Todd are another story." Lina agreed. "I'm sorry Xi, but Rina is out." Xi nodded, understanding his teammates reasoning.
"Besides, you think Wolverine will let his daughter—clone, whatever—stay with us?" Todd asked. "He'd skin us if we did anything to bug her." Everyone winced at the truth of the statement.
"I guess that means Jubilee is off the list too." Althea said.
"Nuts." Shane grumbled.
"Great, we've gone through the entire main team and none of them are tolerable." Pietro groaned.
"Neither are you, but we manage." Spyder shot back.
"Who said it had to be an X-Geek on the main team?" Todd asked. "There's always the not-so New Mutants."
"Well we already scratched off Jubilee and Bobby anyway and Ray is so out of the running it ain't even funny." Fred said. "There aren't that many New Mutants who hate us…are they?"
"Depends. We have to be fair to whoever we pick." Althea said.
"Meaning?" Pietro asked,
"Meaning it isn't fair if we bring someone here just to listen to us rag on their friends the whole time." Althea explained. "Take Danielle Moonstar for instance. She's one of Kitty's better friends. Do you think we could bring her here and then rag on Kitty the whole time?"
"You're right, that isn't fair to Dani." Angelica agreed. "And asking us not to rag on Kitty is just impossible."
"Betsy reminds me of Risty—Mystique." Todd shuddered.
"Forge is out." Althea said, moving on. "If we take him, the X-Men might not take him back. And we've got enough insane inventors on our side as it is!" She said, looking at her sisters and Arcade.
"Doug and Everett are out too. They're not really what I'd call the adventurous type." Lance said. "And you'd need to be around here."
"Amira is just getting settled in." Lina chimed in. "We should give her chance to put down some roots before we bring her back to visit again."
"Naomi and Penny are too young." Pietro said. "And Jamie would get stripped by Trinity the moment he arrived. Besides, we don't need them conspiring with Trinity and Spyder!"
"Penny could kick your butt all on her own." Wanda snorted.
"What about Amara?" Pyro asked eagerly.
"She's too prissy. Too stuck up." Lance answered. "Besides, she'll—literally—blow her top if you keep trying to hit on her."
"Maybe it'd be faster if we just went through everyone we don't' have a problem with." Wanda groaned.
"Who's left?" Fred wondered.
"Let's see: There's Tim a.k.a. Skullfire…" Althea started.
"I don't think Skullfire's a good idea." Lance winced. "He's basically Tabby if she was a guy!"
"Heh, imagine if the two of them hooked up." Pietro cackled and then promptly turned white at the thought. So did the rest of the Misfits.
"I am so glad Tabitha is with Cannonball right now." Todd groaned. "Tabitha and Tim would be too much for anyone to handle!" Xi blinked.
"Fred, you said you desired an old Brotherhood reunion, correct? If Rogue is not suitable, why not invite Tabitha?" He suggested.
"That's…not that bad an idea." Wanda allowed. "I've always wondered just how she kept you guys in line. We could trade notes."
"She seemed pretty cool when my dad was hitting on her mom." Althea agreed. "I'm kinda curious about that other stuff too."
"Yeah…you know we have kinda drifted apart a bit. It'd be nice to catch up." Todd mused. Lance gaped at him.
"Are you insane? You want to invite Boom Boom to live with us? Again? You were the one who called her trouble when she first moved in! And you were right!" Todd shrugged.
"Eh, call me nostalgic."
"I'll call you something…" Lance muttered.
"Look at it this way Lance," Pietro added. "We already blow holes in the wall and live on a base that has an average of ten explosions a day. Tabby can't really do anything worse than what we live with now."
"Boom Boom it is!" Althea said as she made a check next to Tabitha's name, as opposed to all the names that had been crossed out. "Finally! Some progress."
"So we need one more person to invite…" Angelica mused. "Roberto?" Everyone shrugged.
"To be honest, I don't think we've ever spent much thought on the guy….good or bad." Todd said. "Got nothing against him…but nothing for him either, you know?"
"Jesse would have a heart attack if he ever came here." Shane noted. "And there would go all the electrical devices at the Pit when it happened."
"Sam's an okay guy," Lance said, thinking back to how he stayed sober when the other New Mutants got drunk. "Good head on his shoulders…but he is team leader of the New Mutants, they probably can't spare him…besides Xavier wouldn't let him and his girlfriend come out here away from their supervision…"
"Probably afraid that if they aren't watching them, Sam and Tabby will go at it like Scott and Jean." Todd chuckled.
"Paige is okay…Dead Girl too." Althea mused. "But I feel like I'm forgetting someone."
"Considering how many of them there are, it isn't hard to see why." Pietro said. "Sometimes it feels like its raining X-Geeks!"
"Forgive me if I don't say 'Hallelujah!' " Lance smirked. Althea snapped her fingers.
"That's it! Rahne!" Pietro blinked.
"Wolf-girl?" He asked. "What, you want to hook her up with Lance's coyote?"
"She might be a good choice." Lina spoke up.
"Unless Trinity try to make her their 'doggy' again." Angelica said.
"Heck, she beat up the Dreadnoks that's gotta be worth a couple of points in anyone's book." Althea said,
"So she beat up the Dreadnoks?" Pietro asked. "So what? She can join the club. We've got t-shirts."
"I'm wearing one now." Fred said as he pointed at his chest. Sure enough, he was wearing a white shirt with large black lettering that read: 'I BEAT UP THE DREADNOKS AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY T-SHIRT…' Fred turned around to display the back, '…AND A LOT OF SELF-SATISFACTION!'
"What size is that? A XXX-L?" Lance asked with a smirk.
"I actually did get Rahne one of those shirts…in her size, of course." Althea said. "I've got to send some over to the Runaways, if we ever find them again. At any rate, Rahne seems all right to me. She did a good job on her own when she and Catseye went gallivanting all over the map (Re: Mischief Incorporated), there's no bad blood between her and any of us, and she's a smart girl. I think we'll get along fine."
"If you overlook the time she got taken for a ride by a bunch of wolves in real-estate agents' clothing." Lance pointed out. Althea just looked at him.
"Lance, you are really…and I mean really…the last person to call someone else out on account of a bad, abusive relationship." Lance flushed. Althea looked to the others. "So we've decided?" She asked everyone. "Tabitha and Rahne as our guests and honorary Misfits?" Everyone nodded. "Good."
"Took us long enough." Shane grumbled as he looked at the clock.
"I just hope the X-Men spent the time to think this through as thoroughly as we did." Angelica said hopefully.
&&&
Meanwhile, at the Xavier Institute:
As Professor Xavier, Logan, Hank, and Ororo just finished explaining the proposed exchange problem, the X-Men looked at each other for half a heartbeat before turning back to the adults with their answer.
"Lina." They said in unison. Logan and Xavier just blinked. Ororo frowned at them.
"This is a serious attempt to work with the Misfits better." She said. "You can't just randomly pick a Misfit to come to the Institute without any thought behind it…"
Rogue looked at her. "Storm, if you really thought this out you'd realize that this is one choice that didn't require any more than two seconds of thinking." Everyone nodded.
"Lina's the only, and I mean ONLY sane Misfit." Scott said. "And the only one who doesn't hold a grudge against any of us."
"Or vice versa." Kitty agreed.
"There's no way Scott could get along with Lance if he tried coming here…again." Rogue said referring to the first time Lance had tried his hand at being an X-Man.
"Kitty wouldn't be able to stand Angelica or Spyder and Bobby couldn't stand Shane, and Arcade can't stand anybody but Cerebro." Jean said. Kurt went through the rest of the Misfits.
"Blob would eat us out of house and home, Pyro would burn the place down and hit on Amara incessantly, Althea would sicken us to death talking about her "Toddles," Todd would whine about being away from Althea and get slime everywhere, Xi is too psychopathic, Wanda is too easy to tick off…"
"And it's not like there aren't a thousand and one ways to tick off even the most patient of Saints here." Remy said.
"And as for Trinity and Pietro…" Kurt continued. He shook his head. "No. Just no."
Storm blinked. "You're right. Lina really was the only choice, wasn't she?"
"And how." Logan said. "Wait, didn't she once beat up Jean?" Jean shrugged.
"It was a long time ago." She said. "I've moved on."
"Besides," Rogue drawled. "If we disqualified everyone who's beaten up Jean or wanted to, we wouldn't have any Misfits left. Or any X-Men either for that matter." Jean just glared at her.
"I'll go call General Hawk." Xavier said as he and the adults left. "Well, that seemed to go well."
"Of course it did." Logan snorted. "We lose two students and pick up Dragonfly instead. We're coming out ahead of the bargain." Ororo nodded.
"It does seem as if this will all go smoothly."
"We always think that and yet it never does…" Hank sighed.
&&&
