4:55 am

The irradiated landscape was still. The sparse dead trees stood still like monoliths, covered in blackened bark, yearning for significance. The grass, colored in the same diseased black, swayed yet made no sound. Shrubs and onions stuck out like thorny acne from the cracked ground. The air was hot and dry, yet there was no sun. This was the dark web.

4:56 am

The silence was broken by the heaving of pistons and clicking of metal and plastic. It came from a rocky outcrop. Freddy Fazbear adjusted himself to make himself more comfortable, which wasn't much when he was wedged between two boulders. He had been in more uncomfortable positions before. But it won't be long.

4:57 am

Another sound broke the silence. It was quiet and faint rumbling. But only because it was coming from far away. Plumes of smoke appeared faintly on the horizon. Freddy grinned. It came here on time, just as he expected. He was ready.

4:58 am

The rumbling grew louder. Freddy could hear the yelling, gunshots, and magic blasts in the distance. The plumes of smoke were more visible. Freddy adjusted himself and put his feet up against the boulder.

4:59 am

Smaller rocks around Freddy began to vibrate from the rumbling. He could hear the thundering rhythm of train wheels on tracks grow louder. The shriek of a whistle pierced the growing cacophony.

5:00 am

Freddy pushed the boulder with his legs as hard as he could. The rock rolled down the hill with terrifying speed and smashed into a military car, taking out a group of Genshin Impact users. The train rushed past Freddy. What he saw was chaos. A strange variety of people, some Freddy even recognized, were fighting Genshin Impact characters on top of the train. Freddy quickly made a rough estimate of how many Genshin Impact users were on the train and how many were in cars, keeping up with the train. Freddy leaped from the outcrop onto a carriage. He ran up to a confused Kaeya player and threw them off the train. He turned to face his next victim when a loud animalistic scream broke his non-existent eardrums. A blue blur flashed past Freddy. The thing wrapped its long arms around a Klee player and broke her spine. The blue monster threw the corpse off the train and into the front wheels of one of the military cars. The thing then turned its large head towards Freddy and gave a withering sneer. And that was the moment when Freddy knew his mission was about to get a whole lot more complicated.

"You..." snarled Freddy as he snatched a XiangLiang player and snapped its neck, "What the f*ck are you doing here?"

"Well that's not a way to greet a fellow indie horror icon," sneered Huggy Wuggy as he poshly adjusted his flimsy bowtie, "And besides, I'd ask you the same question."

Freddy growled and swung his microphone at a group of QiQi players, sending them flying off the train. Huggy grinned, snatched an armful of Arataki Itto players and bit their heads off. Freddy gritted his teeth. He wasn't going to let this upstart surpass his kill count. Then Freddy noticed out of the corner of his eye a rocket launcher pointed at Huggy. Freddy yelled and tackled the blue muppet to the ground. The rocket flew over Freddy's head and exploded against Senator Armstrong who was apparently present as well. The jacked senator turned towards the Genshin player with a mutinous look and charged at them, throwing the weeb into the stratosphere. Freddy was too focused on what was happening, ignoring Huggy shoving him off and complaining about how he had the situation handled. There were far too many Genshin players to defend from the train. Freddy grabbed Anya from Spy x Family by the arm and lept off the train and into a military car, kicking out several Ganyu players.

"Drive!" shouted Freddy to Anya as he searched through the back of the car for weapons.

"私は六歳です!" screamed Anya and she placed both hands on the accelerator.

Freddy ignored the panicking child and found a Favonius Sword, throwing it at the nearest military car. It jammed the front wheel, the car flipped and was sent plummeting into a canyon. This time, Freddy grabbed a light blue glass bottle and threw it at another car, a strong gust of wind sent it flying into the distance.

"やってみたい!" yelled Anya in delight as she jumped into the back of the car and shifted through the weapons.

"The hell!" screamed Freddy as he planted his foot on the accelerator, "Keep your eyes on the road!"

Freddy then proceeded to realize that Anya had not kept her eyes on the road (not that there was a road anyways) and had drifted very far away from the train. Freddy cursed and grabbed the steering wheel, turning it so hard it nearly snapped. The car was so far away from the train that it was behind the locomotive. But that gave Freddy an idea. The chase was continuing through the side of a mountain which meant that all of Eros' goons would be on one side of the train.

Perfect

Freddy rolled one of his eyes into the back of his head. His eyes could see through the back of his head as well as other solid surfaces, a little upgrade that he got from Security Breach. Keeping one hand on the wheel, Freddy reached behind himself and grabbed a rocket launcher. He was a little confused why such a weapon was present among items from a fantasy game but he was never one to ask too many questions.

"Kid! Take out those weebs!" yelled Freddy, pointing at the rocket launcher and then at the cars. Anya seemed to understand.

"わくわく!" she squealed as she pointed the launcher at the cars in front of them. The launcher was too heavy for her to carry so she rested the weapon on Freddy's head.

"Hey hey wait!" shouted Freddy but Anya was too excited and fired the launcher. The recoil almost shattered Freddy's head but he gritted through the pain. The missile flew into one of the military cars, blasting many of the surrounding vehicles into the air. Freddy floored the accelerator and rammed into the bumper of another car, causing it to skitter and fall off the edge of the mountain. Anya fired a second rocket at another car, exploding half of Eros' remaining goons. Freddy spotted Huggy Wuggy on top of the train looking at him in disbelief and anger. Laughing to himself, Freddy gave the muppet the finger. But that was short-lived as Freddy didn't notice a bump in the path. Freddy's car jolted violently and started to skid out of control. The only thing Freddy remembered was grabbing Anya and stuffing her inside his chest cavity before an earsplitting explosion erupted around him.

...

"Do you think he's dead?"

"No, he can't be."

"If he is, it's about time."

Freddy opened his eyes to being surrounded by the people he saw on the train. Standing next to him were Anya and Isabelle from Animal Crossing. Huggy Wuggy towered over him with an unpleasant look on his face.

"Yeah I'm alive you bitch," muttered Freddy as he sat up. Isabelle let out an audible gasp and covered Anya's ears.

"Fuck you, boomer."

"Fuck you too."

"Enough."

The voice was deep and wheezy. Freddy turned his head and saw that the train was at a standstill. He looked around to see the origin of the voice.

"Over here."

Finally, Freddy noticed that the locomotive was the one who was speaking. The front of the steam train had too long smokestacks, almost like antennas on a bug. The buffer was fashioned like a mask, covering the theoretical mouth of the train.

"Wait... You're the Conductor?" said Freddy incredulously, "But I thought..."

"You're inquiries can wait," wheezed the Conductor, "But I think we need to address a little problem."

The Conductor rolled forward until its face was inches away from Freddy.

"Last time I heard of you was that you were fired from the po-po..." growled the locomotive. Huggy did a double-take before giving Freddy a shit-eating grin.

"Your information is correct," said Freddy simply.

"But why... would such a respected franchise such as yourself get kicked out... It seems a bit random... It doesn't make sense..."

The Conductor narrowed its eyes and then scoffed.

"But then again... Your motivations never seem to make sense anyways... Saving the internet and horror games... Confusing your fandom with your 'intricate' lore... Getting canceled then flopping your big comeback..."

Freddy gritted his teeth.

"So then Fazbear... You come and change the course of a fight I was losing... what's your excuse?"

Freddy paused, he looked the conductor directly in the eyes.

"I'm here on my own business. I don't care if your trafficking business goes to shit but I want Eros out of the picture... And you seem like the perfect way to do that."

There was silence. Everyone looked at the Conductor and then at Freddy. The Conductor chuckled.

"Finally, a bit of honesty from you..." the Conductor wheezed as he rolled backward, "Now that I'm a bit more receptive... What do you offer to the family..."

"I offer you my skills, influence and information," said Freddy, "I know several franchises that you could exploit for your garbage business-"

"Wait wait wait!" interrupted Huggy who had an agitated look on his horrific face, "You aren't seriously trusting him are you?"

"Shut..." snapped the Conductor.

"Yeah Huggy, you can stay right there and suck my Freddy Fazba-"

"Enough..." coughed the train, "We'll discuss matters later. Eros will undoubtedly send more goons this way as soon as he gets wind of his failed attack."

The mobsters moved and boarded the carriages that were attached to the Conductor. Freddy smiled to himself. He was in a precarious position, each move he made from now on had to keep up the facade that he was fired from the Justice Department. Password had put a lot of effort into staging Freddy's sacking. The Conductor let out a shrill whistle and started off further into the dark web.