Barricade was jolted out of his aimless existence by the contact of another mind with his. Since the battle against Starscream he had roused himself briefly, but then he had slipped into a semi stasis-lock that allowed him to be conscious but not to feel or see. He knew his body was in a very bad shape, probably terminal, and he didn't really want to feel it die.

The Autobots were trying to save him, do-gooders that they were. But for what? He had broken through their restraints once already to help Nick, so they would use even more serious measures this time. He wouldn't put it past Prime to have Ratchet disconnect his spark from his body.

Eternally in limbo.

Not something to look forward to.

Death was preferable.

The other mind was cool and blue and controlled, not unlike a Cybertronian, but not of his kind at all. It was human and fallible and weak and primitive. Still, it was so very attractive to soothe his aches and pains, to replace what he had lost. It was the mind he had grown used to in the past months.

Nick MacKenzie.

Now it was close, closer than ever, and it didn't seem to be adrift like him. It was like a resting place in the middle of the sea of pain that taunted the Decepticon. He knew that with consciousness, the pain would return. He and pain were old friends, but it didn't mean he relished it.

I might die with you.

Do you want to live?

Nick's words hit home, his spark jolting a little at the impact of what the human said and through it offered. Co-exist with him and Karr, an uneven triangle of co-dependence. He doubted Nick would suffer much if he was terminated, but a small, niggling doubt remained. While Barricade still viewed humans as a disgusting race of worms, Nick MacKenzie was a vital part of him.

Slipping under again, he mulled over that thought.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

It was maybe an hour, maybe half a day, maybe too long for him to understand later that Barricade returned to conscious levels. Everythign around him was peaceful and dark.

Only the representation of Nick's mind could be seen in the distance, like a beacon calling for him. He regarded the blue presence with interest. Nick was so different from every human he had ever encountered and it sparked a child-like curiosity. He carefully reached out and touched the connection they shared, even though it had been partially severed. Barricade hadn't dared heal the wound because of Karr's furious guard.

Nick wasn't cold; far from it. There was a human warmth there that Barricade had come to associate with weakness. Humans were so compassionate, so emotional, just like the Autobots. It was their weakness and he had exploited it in the past. Nick was human, of course, but he could be emotionally so cold that it came as a surprise that he wasn't when touching him on this level. He wondered what Karr saw when he touched Nick.

Barricade felt a sliver of jealously. Karr had what he craved: a partner. Karr had had Nick for two decades now and he would have him forever. Their minds were so close, so interwoven, and Barricade was the intruder. He would never become what Karr was for Nick, and while he craved it, he also felt disgust at the thought of such a bond.

He ran a tendril along the fragmented shields, noting the bad shape they were in, wondering from what incident these fragments had remained. Those were old shields, not new ones. Ancient, even. Protecting scars, he realized.

The recent attack had left Nick exhausted, but he had never shown weakness and that Barricade was now so close meant that the exhaustion had taken its toll. Karr was probably in repair stasis and Nick was resting.

Barricade shivered as he gazed at the battle scars, old and healed, signs of prior fights with another mind. The blue light was marred by them, but still beautiful in its own way. Nick's presence shifted. He moved in his sleep and Barricade risked a quick touch. The blue light shivered, feeling warm and soft to the touch. Suddenly there was a brief spike, then a flash that vanished so quickly, Barricade wasn't sure it had been real. As he tried to move away, he became aware of where he was. Or wasn't. He no longer saw the blue spark in the scarred environment. He stood in the middle of a deserted wasteland, sand underneath his feet. Feet? Barricade felt surprise rise in him, then his attention was drawn to the debris. Lots of debris. Small parts, large parts, scattered and burned. It had once been a car. The K.A.R.R., a tiny part of him whispered. He didn't know why, but he was aware of the fact.

His view shifted as he moved closer to the debris, without actually thinking about walking. It wasn't him, he realized. He was simply seeing this. He saw the broken and burned wreckage, the barely recognizable form of a car. The person whose eyes he was looking through knelt in front of an array of microchips and a hand reached out, gently brushing sand from the surviving CPU.

"Too late again, right?" someone said and Barricade flinched.

Nick?

"Like last time," Nick's voice continued, freeing the CPU. "I should let it end here and now, you know. It would be so much better for us. Easier. But I can't. We were made, we are survivors, we have to live with this, and maybe there is a chance for both of us."

A dry chuckle could be heard.

"I know you are still there. I know you want to live. So do I. We can only do it together."
Hands grabbed the CPU and pulled it from the debris, sand cascading off the black, dented case.

"You do not own me!"

The harsh declaration snapped Barricade around and he stared at the darkness that now encroached upon him. Black, threatening, cutting into his mind like razor blades.

"No one owns me! No human ever did!"

It was Karr's voice, but so different from now. It hurt to listen to it, it was agony to feel his touch, and like a spectator, Barricade saw Nick crumble down, yelling in pain.

"If I die, so do you." The whisper was loud enough to be a scream.

"I'm not dependent on you!"

It was like a declaration of all-out war, but with each stab or slash Karr took at the human connected to him, he weakened as well. Barricade didn't know long the battle took, but he saw the scars this had inflicted, he gazed on in silent terror as he saw the bleeding tears in Nick's walls. And he saw Karr curl up into a dying, black spark, shivering and miserable. He wanted nothing more than to be accepted, to have an existence. But he had been cast away, shut down and abandoned, and the pain had multiplied over the years. He had let it all out, hurting the one who had helped, hurting himself in turn.

"We cannot live without the other," Nick whispered, sounding hoarse. "Wilton Knight connected us, Karr."

"I don't want this," Karr argued weakly.

"But you want to live."

Silence.

"Then accept what it means."

The world swirled back into focus and Barricade finally managed to free himself from the cluster of memories, shocked. He knew he had seen more than he should have. He had had no right, but it had been an accident. He had touched an area no one had visited in a long time. He doubted Karr had ever ventured there and Nick would lock the experience up.

So many scars. So much pain.

He knew the pain.

And he suddenly understood what linked Karr and Nick. Just as he knew that he was going through the same. He was dying and he had to accept that to survive, he had to sacrifice part of himself. He could never be an Autobot, but he no longer was a Decepticon.

Neither was Karr.

The Autobots wouldn't accept him, view him with distrust and hate, but if he learned to trust Karr and Nick, he might survive, whatever shape it would mean for him.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Nick had taken his place in the medical area again, looking at the motionless heap of metal. Barricade in his stripped down form. Ratchet had explained to him that forcing the Decepticon back into his protoform shape was all he could do to keep him from expending too much energy. Repairs had been made and the molecular reconstruction of the skin was on its way. There was nothing more Ratchet could do.

It was late already. While the Autobots didn't live the twenty-four hour day humans did, they had adjusted lights to dim throughout the night time hours to suit the humans living with them. Nick sat in twilight, looking at the black protoform. It was more alien than anything else he had ever seen before. But still humanoid. The basic shape of a Cybertronian. Nick wondered why they had a humanoid form, whether their creators had been bipedal and humanoid.

He had read about Transscanning and protoforms in the files Ratchet had supplied him with. Cybertronians were a race of chameleons, able to take on all kinds of shapes after transscanning them. The basic form was ultra-dense, able to draw on energy reserves beyond Nick's limited understanding to create the exo-structure that enabled them to blend in. Forcing a Cybertronian in such bad shape as Barricade was to reverse the process was almost torture.

I want to live.

Nick was jolted out of his thoughts, his mind suddenly overwhelmed by the powerful presence of Barricade. He stumbled back on the mind-plane. Karr was in a powered done mode, recharging, and Nick carefully felt along the shield he had between himself and his partner.

I have chosen, Nick MacKenzie. I will live Barricade's deep voice could be heard. And so will you

Silver streaked through his mind and he gasped. With a strength born from countless years as a partner to an AI not so much different when it came to mind invasions from Barricade, he pushed the silver presence back.

Barricade hovered, smirking almost.

Still strong

::Still dominant:: he spat.

The Decepticon regarded him silently.

You cannot be dominated

::Damn right::

Neither will I ever submit

Nick smiled coldly. ::We're back to the original question about the partnership::

Barricade drew back, but not to attack, just to create distance. You would truly accept this? Karr is your partner

::And he will always be. He and I are equals. He doesn't want to control me. I'm not a lower level unit::

No Barricade said quietly, coming closer again. You are not. I give you my word as a warrior to not overwhelm you, attack you or dominate you in any form

Silver tendrils flowed toward him and Nick stood his ground as they touched his shields.

But I will be free Barricade added.

Nick gazed at the motionless protoform. Ratchet wasn't around, Ironhide and Lennox were patrolling, Bumblebee was with Sam, and Optimus was somewhere in the base.

Without a word he rose and walked past the treatment table and into the dark hangar. Amber eyes glowed not far away and Nick smiled as he felt Karr's protective caress. His partner had woken.

//It was stupid to confront him like that//

//I know// Nick smiled, still walking.

Karr joined him and when they were outside, the Stealth transformed, offering Nick a ride with an open door. Nick took it and they disappeared into the darkness.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Nick wasn't surprised to discover the disappearance of Barricade when he returned from a night away from the base. The Decepticon, weak as he had been, had somehow managed to get out of the Autobot base and then into hiding.

"His protoform is extremely weak," Ratchet said. "If he doesn't find sustenance, he'll die. As resistant as our protoforms are to heat and cold and damage, running so low on energon will kill him, Prime."

"No loss there," Ironhide could be heard, which got him a sharp look from Optimus.

The Autobot leader's blue optics were on Nick, who met them with a cool gaze of his own. "Could you locate him?"

"I'm not a bloodhound and if you think the implant will help, no. I can only detect him as a faint silver light, a spark so to speak, but I can't tell you where he is."

Ironhide growled softly, gears grinding. "We should have terminated him. Let him perish. Now he's lose and knows our base! I knew it was a mistake to leave him under such lax guard!"

Ratchet bristled. "I…"

Optimus raised one hand. "It happened. Barricade has disappeared. I don't want to start a senseless hunt for him. We have a bigger problem in form of Starscream."

"He shouldn't have been able to even move!" Ratchet argued. "His power levels were almost nil."

Ironhide gave Nick and Karr a narrow-eyed look. Nick returned it coolly.

"Don't tell me you don't know where he is!"

"I'm not telling you anything," was the level reply. "And I don't. I can't sniff him out. I can only tell you that he's alive."

"Well, too bad."

Optimus sighed. "We have bigger problems than Barricade. Starscream is back and somewhere on this planet. More Decepticons might be coming."

"Barricade might join him," Ironhide rumbled.

"I doubt it," Ratchet threw in. "He saved Nick and attacked Starscream, and we know Barricade was loyal to Megatron, not Starscream. They were actually at each other's throat."

"So we let Starscream take care of that problem, then we take him out," Ironhide concluded. "Easy."

Nick decided not to point out where the problem lay with that idea. He left the Autobots to discuss their new old problems among themselves.

//Any cases?// he asked his partner.

//You want to go back?//

//I want to take my mind off things right now//

Karr chuckled and browsed through his partner's mail accounts, then came up with a few promising jobs.