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Dr. Anton Arcane was an oily man who looked as though he could burn for a week if someone ever took a match to him.
And if glares could burn, Arcane would've been an inferno by the time his Un-Men strapped Althea down to the table. The rest of the Misfits were kept under guard in the corner, chained up to the wall again.
"I hope we have not inconvenienced you." Destro said smugly as Arcane pulled on a pair of latex gloves.
"It would take more than a second-rate mad scientist threatening to experiment on me to 'inconvenience' me." Althea shrugged.
"Good. If he had inconvenienced you, I was going to offer you his tongue." Destro smiled.
"Believe me, sir: if he had inconvenienced me, you would not have a tongue with which to make such an offer." Althea shot back.
"Let me assure you, Ms. Delgado: if I no longer had a tongue with which to make such an offer, you would no longer have a tongue with which to tell me that, if I had inconvenienced you, I would no longer have a tongue with which to offer you his tongue." Everyone just looked at him.
"Well, enough of this witty banter." Althea said. "What do you want Destro? If you're trying to be a good host then all I'll say is that at this point I'm actually looking forward to the experimentation, even if it is by an evil Dr. Nick knock-off."
"You think you're quite funny don't you?" Dr. Arcane snapped. Althea smirked.
"I try not to fly in the face of public opinion."
"I don't take kindly to insults." Arcane said darkly.
"With a face like yours I thought you'd be used to them."
"They do say, Mr. Delgado, that verbal insults hurt more than physical pain." Arcane replied as he reached for his instruments. "They are of course wrong, as you will soon discover...when I stick this toasting fork in your head."
Just as Arcane was about to carry out his threat a low whistling noise was heard and it kept increasing in volume.
"What's that noise?" Fred asked.
"It sort of sounds like a supped-up jet about to crash through the wall." Xi said.
"What—" Whatever Destro started to say was lost as a blue supped-up jet crashed through the wall.
"Let me guess Hunter," A voice said from within the plane. "You learned how to fly from the Saudi Arabian school of piloting?"
"You know, you're just full of commentary today Colleen?" Someone else said.
"Just trying to stay fresh; you know, picking stories straight from today's headlines."
"Less talking, more biting!"
"Don't be a weird boy!"
The Misfits looked at each other as half a dozen dog-people in silver uniforms stepped off the plane.
"What is this?!" Destro demanded. "What are you?!"
'That sounds like a nice set-up line 'unter."
"Do you think so Colleen? Maybe we should wait for a better one…oh what the heck. We are…"
"Road Rovers!" They all shouted.
"Get them!" Destro yelled as his men and Arcane's Un-Men swarmed forward.
"What's going on?" Todd asked the others as the battle began.
"Dunno. I guess we had allies we didn't know about." Wanda shrugged.
"I don't see how a bunch of dogs are going to get us out of this." Pietro said.
Hunter grinned as a squad of Iron Grenadiers pointed their guns at him. "Don't move!" Hunter started running. The Misfits jaws dropped when they saw how fast he moved.
"Dang yo, Pietro you never start fires when you run!" Todd blinked as Hunter left a blazing trail wherever he ran. The Grenadiers started firing wildly, striking important equipment in their attempt to keep up with Hunter.
"Pretty fires…" Pyro drooled. "I wish I could start fires like that!"
"How do you think he does that?" Angelica asked.
"I just hope it has nothing to do with his digestive system." Wanda winced.
"Big deal," Pietro grumbled as he crossed his arms. "It's not that impressive."
"He's faster than you Quicksilver." Xi noted.
"He is not!" Pietro snapped.
"Sorry Speedy, but it sure looks that way." Tabby agreed.
"He makes Speedy Gonzales look like regular Gonzales." Fred nodded.
"Will you idiots stop shooting before you kill us all?" Destro screamed at his men as one blast near struck him. The abashed henchman looked at the damage they wrought and stopped firing. Hunter finally came to a stop.
"You see, this is why bad guys are starting to faze out henchmen." Hunter shrugged as he sped off again.
"It is time for the biting of bad-guy tushie!" Blitz said as he started snapping at several Grenadiers. He paused when he was confronted by a hideous monstrosity: the Un-Man called Dr. Deemo: whose top-half looked like some sort of Cobra-La creature.
"Ah! Mommy!" Blitz sobbed as he ran away.
"See, now that's more the way you act." Lance said to Pietro as Blitz ran past.
"Shut up!" Pietro whined.
"Freeze!" Another group of Grenadiers said as they surrounded Exile, guns pointing straight at his head.
The big husky shrugged. "That is not how you freeze. This is how you freeze in Russia!" Exile's eyes started glowing blue as he froze their guns solid with an ice blast from his eyes. Then his eyes turned red and he started shooting at their feet with a heat ray.
"Wow. It's like someone put together my three least-favorite X-Geeks." Lance said. "Bobby's ice power, Summer's eye blasts and Peter's…Russianness."
"Can't argue with the results though." Fred said as Exile started tossing Iron Grenadiers around. "I wonder what the big sheepdog will do. Maybe he's super-strong like me!"
Shag looked around and once he was sure that no one was looking, took a sandwich out of his fur and started snacking.
"Yes Fred, he's definitely like you." Wanda sighed. "But who are these guys anyway? Mutant dogs?"
"We've seen stranger. But still…" Angelica said.
"Hi-ya!" Colleen shouted as her booted foot came into contact with the face of the Un-Man, Skinman. With dignity and elegant grace, she continued to beat the stuffing out of every henchman that came within ten feet of her.
"If there's one thing better than being in a fight, it's watching one." Arcade noted. "Anybody get any popcorn?"
Tabby looked hard at the last one of these 'Road Rovers.' A reddish-russet colored dog whose long snout and triangular ears said wolf more than dog…it looked at her and grinned.
"Rahne?" Tabby asked in astonishment. Rahne grinned.
"AWOOOOO!" Rahne howled at super-sonic levels, loosening chunks of the ceiling which came crashing down around them, not to mention deafening everyone around her. "Did I do that?" Rahne gasped.
"Hey, we all got super-powers, makes sense that you would too." Hunter said. "And you are a wolf after all…"
"I love being a Road Rover!" Rahne grinned.
"That is what I am always saying!" Exile said.
"Exile, can you help me get the others out?" Rahne asked. She winced as another bit of ceiling crashed down. "Before we all get flattened?"
"Quite Russian me!" Exile grumbled as he used his ice-vision to freeze and shatter the manacles that kept the Misfits imprisoned.
"Rahne? What in the world happened to you?" Tabitha asked as she rubbed her wrists to get the circulation going.
"No time! Let's just get Althea and go before—"
"Reinforcements!" Destro bellowed, summoning even more Iron Grenadiers to aid the Un-Men in their fight.
"We've got company!" Colleen shouted to Hunter.
"Yet another unexpected twist. Bummer!"
"We could use some help here!" Blitz cried.
"I can't do anything with this collar still on!" Wanda said.
"We need something unpredictable..." Rahne mused. "Something totally reckless... an uncontrollable force of nature..."
"Weren't you listening? Wanda's powers are still being suppressed." Pietro smirked.
"DIE!" Wanda shouted as she started beating up Pietro who—like the rest of the Misfits—couldn't use his power to get away.
"Actually, I was thinking of someone else." Rahne said. "We need Muzzle!"
Sure enough, off the plane hopped the crazed dog in a straight jacket. Rahne started undoing the clasps on his muzzle. "Muzzle 'em!" She shouted as she pointed at the villains. Muzzle grinned and leapt out of his straight jacket and into the air, jaws wide and drool glistening off his teeth.
"Mommy…" Destro whimpered.
The room exploded into a scene of violence rated to high for anyone under 57.
"Ewww gross!" Angelica winced.
"Muzzle, take it easy on 'em!" Hunter groaned.
"That's too violent even for me!" Wanda moaned as she turned away.
"That's just sick." Fred said as he turned green.
When it was over Destro ran screaming from the room, his helmet dented and torn and wearing only his boxers. His guards were right behind him. Dr. Arcane and his Un-Men: Dr. Deemo, Skinman, and Weed Killer ran shrieking behind him. Muzzle just lay on his back and sighed once, then belched.
"To the Power of the Pack!" Hunter said. "Awooooo!" The Road Rovers howled. Unfortunately, Rahne unleashed her newfound sonic howl and further wrecked the building.
"The whole place is coming down!" Pietro shouted.
"Everyone get into the Sky-Rover!" Hunter said as he waved his arm.
"Hey! Don't you forget about me!" Althea demanded from her place on the operating table.
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"Good job Rovers." Master Shepherd said as the Road Rovers returned with the Misfits. "You're good, good dogs."
"Guess it's about time we got going." Althea said. "Thanks for the rescue."
"I guess all that's left is to go back through the Transdogmafier." Rahne said.
"Sure we couldn't persuade you to stay?" Hunter asked. Rahne shook her head.
"Thanks, but no. I had a great time though."
"Well we'll always consider you an Honorary Road Rover. And in that vein—" Hunter handed her a red collar with her name on a gold disc. "For you."
"Aww you guys are so sweet." Rahne said as she hugged each of them.
"Hey, when I gave her a collar she beat me up!" Pietro protested.
"It's not the same, stupid." Wanda groaned.
"Okay the mission was a bust, but we made some new friends and beat the snot out of Destro. That's a pretty good job done in my book." Althea said. "Let's go home."
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