(A/N – I do not own Naruto)
Uchiha Itachi, Pride of the Uchia clan, awoke with a groan in total darkness. Every part of his body screamed in pain. The last thing he remembered was arriving back at his camp. His plan had been to gather his things and move to a spot that was closer to the village yet higher into the trees, improving his vantage point. He had become confident because he had met with no resistance; had not even had to use any jutsu of any kind to avoid or send any scouts astray – there had been none. Itachi smirked as he noticed the scroll lying on his bed roll. What a coincidence, he'd just delivered a scroll and now he returns to his camp to find one in return. He picked it up with a chuckle. "Good, I was most disappointed in the leaf village for not noticing me all this time" he thought. The seal on this scroll read "gamble". He examined and scrutinized the scroll and finding no jutsu, he slowly opened it. There was one word "BAKA!" and then an explosion. Everything went black.
"He He He! Ha Ha Ha!" Hysterical laughter boomed through the air. Hiashi's eyes snapped open and he glared over at Tsunade, whose legs were pulled up to her chest and she was rolling side to side. The look on his face only served to decrease her amount of self control and she burst into another side-splitting fit of laughter.
"Tsunade, not that there is anyone within a two mile radius of us in this forest that has not already been alerted of our presence here, but please contain yourself" hushed Hiashi.
"It's all your fault, Hiashi! If you hadn't given me that goofy look, I'd have had it under control before…..Ha Ha Ha!" She croaked, raising her hand to give him a friendly punch in the shoulder. He caught her wrist.
"Alright" he breathed, his face close to hers "what are you laughing about, quietly, please".
Tsunade tried her best to compose her self and taking a deep breath, she began "That Itachi really thought he had flown under my radar! I knew that he had gone to deliver his little note to you and while he did, I laid my trap. The jutsu is not that complicated, but it does require a great deal of chakra control. You should have seen his face when he read my little 'love letter' HA HA HA".
Her laughter was a beautiful sound. She continued "He is going to wake up no telling where Stark Naked. Every part of him will hurt for days." Laughter again.
Hiashi could see the humor of the situation, but Tsunade's zeal in discussing Itachi naked made him angry, somehow.
Another bout of pain shot through Itachi, it felt like what labor must feel like to a woman but even into his hands and feet and up into his head and out to his ears. Never had he felt such pain! He was face down in total darkness.
Itachi struggled to get his muscular legs underneath him. He realized he was unhindered by the cloak he usually wore. In fact, as of right now, his only worldly possession seemed to be the tie he wore to hold back his hair. It was then that he remembered the last image he saw before the explosion; blonde hair and a large bosom – Tsunade! She would pay!
Through the pain, he pushed himself up onto his hands and knees, pain shooting through his broad back and shoulders. What a predicament! He was in too much pain to care who saw him. Corded leg muscles raised him onto his feet. "Yes, I'm the Pride of the Uchiha Clan" he though dryly.
Violet eyes traced his features. She though he was beautiful in every detail, hard muscles, smooth skin, dark hair completely disheveled, yet tied back with a small strip of leather. Abs and quads rippled as he began to stand up and walk. Then he stumbled and collapsed into a heap. Enough, she thought. I will help him and then decide what to do with him. "My father, King Enma, will not be pleased, but what else am I to do?" She thought.