Okay here's the next chapter. Hope you like it and don't forget to leave me a review!

Again warning for possible ooc momets.


DISCLAIMER: I don't own it.

#######################################################

------Ducky and Gibbs-------

It was early morning when I pulled into the parking lot, earlier than any of us were expected to be in at least, but I had work to do that I wanted to get done before the rest of the team got in. I had to go through Tony's desk. I had put it off for as long as I could now and I had to get it done. I dreaded it, it was going to drag up enough memories just going in and seeing that empty desk that was usually occupied by my larger than life senior field agent. My son.

I sighed heavily as I hit the elevator button to go to the bull-pen. It was going to be hard, trying to hold it together today. I had used the week of leave to grieve and let out my emotions before I came in today. I didn't want everyone else to see me like that, I would be weak and the rest of the team, rest of my family, didn't need to see me like that right now. They were going to be in a bad enough emotional state as it was, they didn't need me to be in a state of disarray right now too. But it was going to be hard to walk in and see the empty desk, to not hear the jokes and his ideas thrown in on the case, to give him the occasional slap on the head. To not hear an "On your six, boss!" or a "Gotcha, boss!"

I could understand how hard it would be for McGee to never hear a "Probie!" or for Ziva to hear her name drawn out in the way that only Tony did.

The elevator dinged, signaling the opening of the doors, breaking me from my thoughts.

I walked into the cluster of desk that hadn't been used in the past week, pausing in front of the permanently empty desk. I pictured him sitting there playing one of his games, looking up to give a "Good morning, boss." while trying to secretly switch the screen to something work related. I gave a small smile at that before it turned to a frown when I realized I wouldn't see that again. Ever.

I tore myself away from the spot and walked to my own desk. Setting my backpack down on the floor, before I started meticulously straightening the already neat desk, stalling the unwanted task. Although I had already accepted the fact that Tony was gone, sorting through his desk and removing all of his personal items just seemed to make it even more final.

When I had done all I could think of to stall for time, I headed to Tony's desk with another sigh.

I sat down in the chair behind his desk, just taking a few minuets to soak in the feeling, to imagine him sitting here instead, grinning and cracking jokes.

"Are you thinking what I think you're thinking?" "If the Probie's been probing I demand details!" "Very special agent Anthony DiNozzo, boy who cried wolf and who must now suffer periodontal disease for it, how may I help you?" "James Bond, very James Bond."

I smiled as some of the numerous jokes ran through my mind. Most people thought I didn't even have a sense of humor, truth was I loved a lot of Tony's jokes. Not that I had ever told him that. Not that I could now. My frown deepened as I looked at the five drawers I still had to open and sort through.

I had done the same with other desks of deceased agents, including Chris Pacci's. This was different though, I had been closer to Tony than the others. He was my family, he was my son, and this was different. Harder. There were so many memories and each one hurt worse than the last.

I started on the bottom right drawer, all that it contained was an extra set of clothes, a few magazines and a movie. I smiled pulling the disk out, looking at the title. National Treasure. Tony and his movies, he had probably seen every movie ever produced. Not only that but he could tell you who directed, wrote, produced, and acted in every single one. It was then I realized I had never watched a single movie with him. Another thing I should have done, but never had and now never could.

I shook my head placing all the items in the box and shutting the drawer. Opening the next one, I blanched when I saw it was full of medals. Pulling one of the numerous boxes out I opened one, reading the name: Leroy Jethro Gibbs. I can't believe he actually kept them all, all those medals I had told him to just trash he had saved in the drawer. I couldn't understand it. Why would he save these? But then there were allot of things I didn't understand about Tony DiNozzo, (not that I would get the chance to understand now). I understood him best out of most people, even his own father, but some things still stumped me.

I snapped the case shut, tossing it in the box before pulling the rest of them out and doing the same and then re-closing the drawer.

I started on the other side, pulling open the top drawer; it was a stack of papers. I pulled them all out, piling them on the desk in front of me. They were mostly case files, reports that would now never be finished, and even a few paper clippings of old cases. All of them were cases we had solved, not that any of them held any mention of NCIS. I smiled a little as I remembered how that used to irritate Tony and how he'd complain that we'd 'never make the eleven o'clock news'. Finally reaching the bottom of the pile I found a manila envelope. Frowning in curiosity, I opened the flap and reached in to pull out a stack of photos.

There were some of the all of the team: Abby, McGee, Ziva, Palmer, Ducky, and to my surprise, myself. I didn't even remember these being taken. He even had some of Kate, Jenny, and his old girlfriend Jeanne.

Then near the end of the stack of photos I found six photos held together with a paperclip. I slid it off, curious. I couldn't understand why Tony would have these separated from the rest.

Quickly sifting trough them I realized they were all ones of Tony with another member of the team.

The first one was of Abby and Tony in the bull-pen, Abby had her arms wrapped around his neck and Tony was smiling at the warm welcome. I remember Ducky taking that photo shortly after we had gotten Tony back after he had disappeared during one of our cases. The man whom Tony had been working undercover to catch had figured out his cover and Tony had been taken. It took us a few hours but we managed to find him before anything too serious had happened.

Abby had come rushing into the squad-room and wouldn't let Tony out of her sight for the next four hours until she was forced to get back to work.

Next Tony had a picture of himself and McGee. They were at a crime scene, Tony with a camera in hand and McGee with a pad and pencil to sketch the scene. They were both laughing at something one of them had said, Tony's arm around McGee shoulders. I smiled as I remembered Kate saying they reminded her of her two brothers. I believed it. They were like brothers, the older loved to tease and play pranks on the younger, and the younger would finally get fed up and snap back at him. But if anyone else dared to tease them, the other was right there defending him.

I flipped to next one, Tony was sitting on the edge of Ziva's desk, leaning towards her, telling her something with that big, trademark grin of his on his face. She was laughing at whatever it was, her hand on his arm.

The next was taken in the autopsy lab. Tony was sitting on a chair while Ducky sat on the edge of one of the tables. He seemed to be telling Tony one of his stories while Tony listened with rapt attention, smiling.

The next one was of Palmer. They were in Abby's lab, Palmer still in scrubs. Tony had his arm around his shoulder and was explaining something to Palmer in great detail it appeared. Palmer listened, his eyebrows raised and his eyes slightly wide. Tony, however was grinning at the younger man's reaction.

When I reached the last one I just stared. I remembered that one too, but I hadn't noticed anyone with a camera near by. It was during one of our cases, Tony had done an excellent job of finding evidence. I had asked if he was looking for an 'atta boy' to which he replied it would be nice. So as I walked by him I stroked the back of his head where I usually smacked him, telling him "atta boy". I smiled as I saw the look of surprise on Tony's face.

As I looked at the photo it hit me harder than it had before as I realized this was one of the few times I had given in just a little. I flashed back to the few times I really let him know I cared. When I had told him he was irreplaceable, when I told him I was proud of him, those few rare moments I had really let him know.

I should have let him know more often. I wasn't proud of him just the one time. I should have told I cared more often, should have told him he was like the son I never had, told him just exactly how irreplaceable he was. I would never find another son like Tony, no one would ever be able to replace him. And I had always been proud of him, proud of how well he had done his job, of the man he had become despite his so called father's efforts to raise Tony like himself.

I angrily wiped away the few tears that had managed to slip. I missed him and it hurt to know that I missed all those chances to let Tony know how much he meant to me and to everyone.

I just sat staring at the photo for a while, lost in my thoughts.

"Jethro?"

I looked up to see Ducky standing in front of the desk, watching me carefully. He looked older, more worn, and his eyes were duller.

"Hey Duck." I said, quietly. "What're you doin' in so early?"

"Couldn't sleep." he said, "It was either sit here or at home." he answered. I nodded in response. I could understand that. It was either being here at work or at home in the basement with my boat.

"Sorting out Anthony's things?" Ducky asked me sympathetically.

I nodded again, "Yup." I glanced down at the photo of Tony and myself that I still had clutched in my hand. I had already planned on keeping it, giving me a memento to hold onto and keep. The more I thought about it, the more I realized the others would want similar mementos of him as well.

I watched Ducky as he ran his hand over Tony's desk, absentmindedly, probably thinking back to when Tony was the one sitting here, probably telling Ducky some autopsy joke or Ducky would be getting on to Tony about his dieting habits.

"Duck." I said, breaking trough his thoughts, "Here," I said, handing him the picture of himself and Tony, "Somethin' tells me Tony would have wanted you to have this."

He took it curiously, but when he saw the image I saw a small, soft smile appear on his face, yet at the same time he looked slightly sad.

"Ah, yes, I remember this." he said, his voice slightly thick as he nodded his head, "I was telling him of my adventures while in Peru." he explained, smiling. "You know, besides you and Mr. Palmer, Anthony was the only one who really enjoyed listening to my stories." he added, quietly.

I smiled with him. Most thought Ducky's stories annoyed me, but the truth was I enjoyed them, just not while working a case. But after the cases were over we'd usually grab a drink and I would gladly listen to the stories he had to share, they were interesting to say the least. Ziva, McGee and Abby listened to Ducky's stories with interest, but I had noticed when Tony listened he was enjoying himself. I had even heard him a few times over drinks ask for or request a certain story from Ducky.

"I didn't even notice someone taking a photo of this," Ducky said after a moment.

"There's a ton of photos here that I don't think anyone realized they were being taken," I said gesturing to the stack. "Some of everyone."

Ducky shook his head, with a small smile. "Maybe he intended on making a family album." he suggested.

"Mmm," I agreed. He was right, Tony saw the team as his family. Heck, I saw the team as my family too. And from the little snippets he let slip about his past and childhood he didn't exactly have a real family. He had parents, aunts and uncle, cousins, but that was just it, they had the titles of family, but never really acted like a loving, caring family like it should be.

I looked back at the photo in hand, wondering if Tony had looked at me as family, maybe even as his father.

"Is that photo of you and Anthony?" Ducky's voice asked, breaking into my thoughts.

I nodded, handing him the picture. He smiled widely at it, slightly amused, before handing it back to me.

"He had pictures of everybody else too." I added, digging through the stack and, finally finding the ones I wanted, spread them out in front of me on the desk for Ducky to see.

He stared at them, a smile tugging at his lips again.

"Oh, and Duck?" I said after a stretch of several seconds, as a thought struck me.

"Mmm?" he said, looking up from the array of pictures.

"Take this to Palmer." I said, picking up the photo of the two younger men and handing it to him.

Ducky gave me a smile, as he accepted the photo.

"Certainly, Jethro." he agreed.

His eyes scanned the desk full of photos again, a fond smile forming on his lips. "He certainly had a way of worming himself into everyone's heart." he said quietly.

I smiled at that, it was defiantly true. When I first met him in Baltimore I couldn't wait to be rid of him, he was obnoxious, a goof-off, and a smart-mouth. But a short time into the case I started to warm up too him. He may have been a smart-mouth but he was also brave enough to stand up to his superiors. His chief wouldn't listen to any of Tony's ideas no matter how plausible or probable they were. But that never stopped him, he'd just keep at it. And he was usually right. The jokes and wise cracks took longer to get used to, but it wasn't too long and I found myself appreciating the remarks that seemed to help break the tension during the case, even finding myself laughing silently at them. By the end of the case I even found myself defending Tony to his chief. Tony was a smart kid, had good instincts, brave, and could stand up for himself. That's when I offered Tony a spot on the team, he was a great kid and he certainly wasn't appreciated where he was at.

Now I wish I hadn't. As glad as I was to have had Tony on my team all this time, get to know him as a friend and even become as close as we had, but I should have left him in Baltimore. Maybe if I had he'd be on some other team, still working cases. Still alive. Not laying six feet under.

"That he did, Duck." I said quietly, agreeing with his previous statement.

------McGee------

A few hours later I sat at my desk, having finally finished going through Tony's things. There wasn't much left, some office supplies and other odds and ends. It was all in a box, now sitting next to my desk. I was unsure what to do with it just yet.

I had taken the photo of Tony and set it next to my computer screen, the others setting on my desk, ready to be handed out to their owners.

I had started working on the report left over from last week that I still hadn't finished. The one I would have finished if I hadn't been interrupted by that dreadful phone call. The one that had tore up my world.

I had thought all possibilities of happiness had died with Shannon and Kelly. I would regain an amount of happiness when I remarried, but that happiness would disappear too. I had thought all chances of love or family were just completely lost. Then I had met Tony in Baltimore and I gained back family, I gained a child. And now, like Kelly, he was gone. I still had family, I still had the rest of my team, but it just wasn't the same. And it never would be.

I shook myself realizing that, not for the first time, I had stopped working and was lost in my thoughts and staring at the photo on my desk of myself and Tony. I smiled at the pure innocence of the times in the photo. Things had been rather light hearted at the moment despite the case. A ding interrupted me from getting lost in my thoughts and memories again.

I looked up to see a disheveled McGee enter the bull-pen. He eyes were slightly red and there were dark circles underneath, he didn't have the small smile he usually wore when coming into work, and he looked just plain lost.

He looked like he had just lost his best friend as the saying goes. Which he had, or in his case, his brother.

"Morning, boss." he said in greeting as he walked past me to his own desk.

"McGee." I replied.

He took a seat at his desk, turning his computer on and soon started to work. I watched him for a little while, he looked downright miserable. There was no Tony to walk in with a "Good morning, Probie!". No Tony to tease and joke with and take the dullness out of the day and it looked like it was hitting him hard. Which I'm sure it is.

As I watched I saw him look over to Tony's desk before quickly looking away, closing his eyes a moment and sighing quietly. I immediately felt a pang of sympathy for McGee. I had done the same thing more than once. Look over to the desk usually occupied by the quirky agent, hoping that maybe it was all a bad dream or something my imagination worked up only to have my hopes dashed as I again realized he wasn't there and wasn't going to be.

The elevator dinged again and McGee's head snapped up. But it was only the mail carrier.

I watched as McGee dropped his head back down and rubbed his face with one hand; leaving his head to rest in his hand for a minute before going back to work.

Again I felt an awful pang for the kid, he was having a hard time grasping the fact that Tony was gone. I glanced at the photo laying on my desk of the two of them, joking and laughing. Sparing another glance at McGee who was now trying his hardest to not look any where but his computer screen, I stood up, taking the photo with me. I stopped in front of his desk, not saying anything. He looked up at me, curiously. Now that I was closer the redness and the deep circles were even more prominent.

"Boss?" he asked.

Instead of answering I just silently handed him the picture. Giving me a curious glance, he took it. He smiled a little when he saw it, choking out a sob and laugh. The corner of my mouth lifted in a small, sad, smile.

"He was giving me dating advice, if that's what you could call it," he laughed slightly, "Pretty soon, we were just goofing off and making stupid jokes." he told me, smiling.

"Ah, man." He groaned, rubbing his eyes, "I miss him." he added quietly.

I took a seat on the edge of the desk, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder, "I know, Tim, I know." I told him.

"Does it ever stop hurting?" he asked, his face now hid in one of his hands.

I wished I could tell him that yes, it would eventually stop hurting, but it wouldn't. I knew that better than most people. Even all these years later, it was a little easier than it had been the first couple of years though it did still hurt immensely. I think the main reason my pain had eased as much as it had was because I had found friends and family again. Not that anyone would ever be able to take Shannon and Kelly, and now Tony's, place, I had found family again.

Not wanting to lie to him or try to sugar coat it, I told him, "It gets easier. I don't think it ever really stops, McGee, but it will get easier."

He nodded, still keeping his face hidden. I stayed sitting with him, my hand still on his shoulder, for a few more minutes. Again I wished there was something I could say to make it better, to make the hurt go away. But the only thing that could make the pain go away was to have Tony back here with us, and that was one thing I defiantly couldn't do.

"Thanks, Boss." He said, finally taking his hand away from his face and trying to discreetly rub away a few tears from his face.

"You're welcome, Tim." I replied quietly, patting him on the back. Standing up and glancing at my watch I realized Abby would be in now. And right now she would defiantly need some comfort, Tony was to her, like to McGee, a big brother.

They're relationship had started out rocky when he first started working here. Abby missed Stan and saw it as though Tony was taking his place and she resented him a little for it. On Tony's part he really didn't know what to make of her, she was different and in Tony's eyes at the time, very strange. But in a short time they had bonded and become like siblings.

I stopped to grab the last two pictures from my desk and headed towards the elevator.

"Be right back, McGee. I'm going to check on Abby." I told him.

He nodded to show he had heard.

As I walked by Ziva's desk, I layed the photo for her on top of her papers so she'd be sure to see it. She was not one to show feelings all to easily, but then neither was I.

I thought she'd prefer to not talk about it like McGee had.

As I reached the elevator and I hit the button, I glanced back to the bull-pen. I watched as McGee picked up the picture, smiling at it one more time before setting it to lean against his pencil holder where he could see it.

-------Ziva--------

(change POV)

She walked in to the bull-pen, tossing her backpack under her desk. Her eyes flicked to the empty desk across from hers before quickly diverting her gaze somewhere else, away from the heart-breaking sight.

She pulled her chair out and sat down, making sure to keep her eyes focused on anything but the other desk; noticing the photo laying on top of her papers and unfinished reports, she picked it up.

As she looked at it, she couldn't help but smile at the image; recalling the memory with perfect clarity. She continue to smile at the memory the photo had caused her to recall when she was struck by a thought that made her smile turn into a confused frown.

"McGee?"

"Yeah, Ziva?" he said in reply, looking up from his computer.

"Where did this come from?" she asked, holding up the picture.

He stood, walked over to her desk and took the photo from her with a look of curiosity. He already had a good idea where it had come from, but best to check.

He gave a small smile after he saw what the picture portrayed before handing it back to her.

"Gibbs." he answered simply.

"Gibbs?" She asked, bewildered, "But how did he get this?" she asked.

"I think he found them when he went through Tony's desk. He gave me one too and he just left for Abby's with another one." He explained.

"Oh." was all she could think to say. She was surprised. Surprised that Tony had these pictures and surprised that Gibbs was displaying such a sentimental act by handing them out to everyone.

Then she realized why Tony had kept the photos, she was able to summon it up in one word: Family.

She felt another pang in her heart. Not that she would ever admit it, but she had spent the past week crying, grieving, and sulking around her apartment.

She had talked to only one person the entire week, and that had been her neighbor. An older woman in her sixties, who lived two doors down from her and also the only neighbor she got along with. She had asked her what was wrong, but she just replied with a "it's complicated" before steering the conversation to something else.

Only when did she get back to her apartment did she realize she had given Tony a lecture on using the term 'complicated' not too long ago. That had started a fresh wave of tears.

And it wasn't complicated, it was actually very simple. She missed him. She missed Tony, all the incessant, non-stop, teasing, hazing, and movie references that were all to common from him. Stopping for a bite to eat or a cup of coffee together after a particularly stressful case to relieve some tension. Teaming up on McGee to put superglue on said MIT grad's computer keyboard, or to harass him about his books.

She missed her partner. Her friend.

"Ziva, you okay?" McGee's voice broke into her thoughts.

"No, McGee, I am not." She answered truthfully, shaking her head. She saw him hesitate a moment before moving forward and wrapping his arms around her. She was surprised to say the least. McGee had hugged her before of course, she had gotten hugs from everyone on the team, but this was different. He wasn't hugging her because he had missed her or because he had been worried about her and was glad she was okay, he was hugging her to try and comfort her.

She hugged him back, accepting the comfort as well as giving some. After a few moments they broke apart, McGee looking slightly awkward.

"Thank you, Tim." She said, quietly.

He nodded, patting her arm comfortingly before returning to his own desk.

"Not getting soft now are we, Officer David?"

The ghost of the voice asked her as teasingly as it would if Tony had been there in person.

She smiled slightly, sitting back in her chair and picking up the photo again, running her thumb over the image.

"And sentimental? I thought you told me you didn't buy into all that sentimental junk, Zee-vah!"

Smiling again, she propped the picture up so it was still in her line of vision so she could see it still while she worked.

------Palmer-----

Ducky looked up when the doors leading to his office opened, his young assistant walking through them.

"Good morning, Mr. Palmer." he greeted.

"Morning, Doctor." he replied as he hung up his coat. His usual chipper attitude gone.

Ducky watched him carefully, as he put his things down on his desk and got settled, taking note of the deep, purple bruises under the younger man's eyes from lack of sleep.

He was quiet. Too quiet. Usually he would be telling Ducky of his latest exams, papers, or classes. He had tendency to ramble sometimes. Ducky wasn't quite sure where his assistant had picked that up from.

He had to wonder briefly how he had held up during the past week. He had called Jimmy once, just to check on him. Palmer had said he was fine but it was obvious that he really wasn't. Not all too surprising, Ducky mused, he had just lost one of his best friends. Ducky wasn't sure when exactly the two of them had become so close. But he was inclined to think it was sometime after Jethro's 'retirement' when Tony had been pushed in the position of team leader.

When Jimmy had first been on the team the two had been friends in a way, but they weren't really all that close. They didn't really spend too much time together or talk all too much. But shortly after Tony's temporary promotion he had noticed changes. They seemed more friendly and they certainly talked more often with one another.

Once he had been re-entering autopsy and saw the two of them leaning against one of the tables, talking. Pausing outside the door, and shamelessly eaves-dropping, he discovered giving advice to the field agent. On various occasions after that he would notice the two talking, supplying advice for the case when asked, when they thought no one was listening. But Ducky had known. And he was glad they were such good friends.

The sound of a bunch of ruffling papers disrupted his musings. Looking over he saw Jimmy had dropped a file full of papers all over the floor.

Palmer glared at the mess, giving a frustrated huff, before bending down and scooping them all up.

Usually Jimmy had impeccable patience but the past week he had little to no patience whatsoever. The least little thing irritated him to the point he would lose his temper. But that was simply the way he dealt.

Jimmy sighed, closing his eyes momentarily to rein in his temper before trying to get all of the papers shoved back into the folder.

Giving him a sympathetic look, Ducky stood, going over to the younger ME.

"?"

"Yes, doctor?" he asked, pausing in his action to look over to his mentor.

Instead of answering he simply handed Jimmy the photo Jethro had given him earlier.

Palmer took it quietly. Seeing the image, a smile twitched at his lips.

"What was he saying?" Ducky asked about the photo, prompting the younger man to speak.

"He, uh, he was giving me advice. There was this girl I liked from the mail department, but I hadn't made a move yet. He was trying to, as he put it, 'impart some wisdom'." Jimmy explained with a single chuckle. He paused for a second or so before adding, "We've been dating for about five months. I told Tony I owed him one, but I guess I can't really repay the favor can I?" he asked, still starring at the photo.

"Actually, Mr Palmer, you can still do something for him."

"How?" he asked, finally looking up.

"By not forgetting him." he said wisely.

"I don't think I could if I tried." he replied.

Ducky came him a small, understanding smile, as he patted his shoulder.

He would never be able to forget him either. None of them would.

-------Abby-------

(change back to original POV)

"Abs?" I asked, entering the unusually silent lab.

"Here, Gibbs." she called from a corner of the lab.

I walked around into the inner section of the lab. She was sitting at her desk, her hair pulled out of her pig tails, no makeup. She had something in her hands that she was looking at her, running her fingers over it.
"Abby?" I asked, sitting on the desk in front of her.

"Hey, Gibbs." she answered with a sniff. I looked down at the object in her hands. It was Tony's ID. She was looking at his photo, running her fingers over it. It was a decent photo of Tony as far as ID photos went, it had his trademark grin.

"I keep looking at his picture, seeing his smile and it's like he's here, ya' know? Like when he would sneak up behind me and ruffle my pig-tails and make a joke." she said, sniffling again.

"I really, really miss him, Gibbs." she sobbed, dropping the ID and wrapping her arms around me. I pulled her into a hug, she buried her head into my shoulder and started crying. I tightened my hold on her. I didn't say anything, knowing there was nothing I could say to make her feel better. Heck, there was nothing I could do to make myself feel better.

I just held her until she cried herself out. After a while she pulled back, wiping at her eyes.

"Thanks, Gibbs."

"Welcome, Abs." I said, handing her a tissue from the near empty box on her desk.

She picked up the ID and leaned it against the computer, like I had the photo upstairs on my desk.

"It's not the best picture of him, I've even taken quite a few of him with the rest of the team that were allot better than this and gave them to him, but I don't know what he did with them."

I smiled inwardly, I had figured it might have been Abby.

"Maybe this will work better, Abs." I said, handing her the photo.

She took it and smiled at it.

"Much better." She said with a small smile, taking the ID and replacing it with the picture.

It was silent a minute as Abby stared at the picture.

"I miss him, Gibbs." she said again, sadly, still staring at the picture.

'Me too, Abs." I agreed, looking at the image of my senior field agent from a younger and happier time.

Abby's head snapped towards me, her eyes slightly wide.

"Gibbs!"

"What?" I asked, looking at her worriedly.

"You just admitted something about your feelings." she said prodding my chest with a finger.

I just stared at her, shocked, and even slightly amused.

"Oh come on, Gibbs!" She said when I didn't respond, "You never talk about what you're feeling. Never ever! But this time you did! About Tony! He'll be over the moon! Wait until I tell hi---" She stopped, the excited look dropping from her face as she realized she couldn't tell him anything.

I felt the same sharp pang I'm sure she was feeling right about now. I had done it more than once, too.I'd make a mental note to tell Tony something or mention something to him only to realize he wasn't there and that he was gone.

I gave her a sympathetic look, pulling her into another needed hug. She clutched a fistful of my shirt, burying her face in my jacket, and biting her lip to keep from crying.

"It's okay, Abs." I whispered to her, knowing it was a lie.

"How can you say that, Gibbs?" she asked, her voice muffled, "How can it be okay? Tony's---" she stopped, letting out a single sob before burying her face deeper into my jacket.

I closed my eyes trying to keep my own emotions in check, I blinked a couple of times to keep tears from slipping.

Kissing the top of her head, I held her a little while longer until she shooed me out of her office so that she could be 'alone with the gang', (Her computers and masspec. )

I sighed deeply as I stood in front of the elevator waiting for the doors to open. This was going to be a very long day.

I hadn't been in the squad room twenty minutes when my phone rang and I was alerted of a new case. We drove out to Quantico to inspect the scene of Petty Officer Baxter Newels, who had been found in his living by a neighbor, with a single gun-shot to the head.

During the processing I tried to give Tony an order at least twice only to have to realize that he wasn't there, each time making my heart hurt again. I noticed Ziva and McGee doing it, too. The look on their faces ones of devastation when they had to come to the same realization.

Back at the squad room I turned to his desk, ready to ask for an update only to find it empty. Turning away and mumbling a line about getting coffee to Ziva and McGee, I left. Returning ten minutes later than it should have taken me, coffee in hand.

I had used the other ten minutes to make sure my expressionless mask was still in place and to collect myself to make sure it didn't slip.

By nine O'clock that night, after going through five grieving family members and friends, three interviews, dozens of forensic and autopsy tests, and at least eight more cups of coffee, we were able to prove it was a suicide and wrap up the case.

I waited at my desk as McGee and Ziva silently finished their reports and turned them in. The night painfully devoid of the usual light-hearted banter and chatter. After handing in their finished reports they mumbled a quiet "Good night, boss." before leaving, looking both solemn and tired.

Giving their reports a once over and dreaming them right, I put them in a pile with my own to take to the director tomorrow.

Glancing one last time at the picture of myself and Tony, I clicked off the light, flooding the bull-pen in darkness. I waited for the elevator, the same thought that had been occupying all our heads today on my mind. I miss him.

############################################################

There I reallly, I hope you liked it! And PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE with a cherry on top, leave me a review! Please?

PLEASE READ:

At one point I had a photo of Kate in the group, but Gibbs couldn't exactly give it to her so I just made it the current team. Just so you know. Didn't want anyone thinking I don't think of Kate as part of the team.

As for the quotes:

"Are you thinkin what....." Is from

"If the porbie's been probing....." I think is from Desginated Target. But I'm not sure.

"Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo....." Is from Family.

"James Bond, very James Bond..." I can't remember, I know it's from one of the eps. of the first two seasons.I have an inkling it might be Split Decison, but don't hold me to that.

Also Gibbs' photo was a moment taken from Iced.