Torn Apart and Bound Back Together
Chapter 2
He couldn't help it: a hiss escaped the trickster's lips and he instinctively recoiled backwards as the doctor placed a stinging Midgardian substance to the cut his boyfriend had created on his forehead for throwing a wrench at him—completely unprovoked.
Bruce was already asking again, "And how exactly did this happen?"
Tony shrugged noncommittally as Loki supplied, "He just threw it at me—no warning." He pouted and sent his partner a meek look.
Tony sighed, hands rising in a placating, backing off motion.
Bruce eyed him in his periphery and mused, "A domestic dispute?" He raised a furry brow in question.
Loki ate up the bait at the same time Tony administered an indistinguishable look.
"Absolutely—" came at the same configuration of: "Not at all."
The couple, one mortal and one demigod to be exact, eyeballed each other in challenge that was swiftly dropped when the mechanic uttered, "Will you be in the lab tonight, Bruce?"
A groan unleashed itself from Loki's maw and he had the audacity to look embarrassed by it, when Tony was studying the way in which his lover's brows scooted down and came to discover, once again in surprise, that the trickster was jealous.
"Loki—" he began but Loki was telling Bruce, instead, "Thor wasn't wrong in how primitive your healing wards are."
Bruce shot him an inquisitive look but didn't bite any further.
"That may be," Bruce exchanged. "But we don't have magic."
Loki nodded and bit his lip when he cringed in pain. He looked to the doctor, bordering on mistrustfully, "It hurts."
"Bad?"
Loki frowned, "I can handle it." He sighed, all in show. "It's more of an annoyance, frankly."
"Most things are," Tony quipped and he couldn't help but stride to his boyfriend's side and flick some black strands away from his pale face, at the same juncture as giving Bruce more of a vantage point for which he hummed and finished placing a bandage over the cut.
"All set, buttercup?" Tony drawled in a thick accent and Loki couldn't stop his lips from rising.
"Yes, dear," the trickster took the inventor's offered hand and dropped himself back on his feet to level ground.
"If you'd rather watch us tonight in the lab—" Tony began, offering an olive branch to his hurt and brooding boyfriend but Loki, not without love, scoffed and stated, "Stark, please. I'd rather retire to an early bed and spend some time reading." He tossed back a strand of raven hair. "By the Norns, I haven't gotten very far in my latest one." He offered a weak smile to his boyfriend, dotting a single finger to his injured temple. "I believe I have something of a headache, as well."
Loki sighed, studied Bruce distinctly and leaned in to brush his lips against Tony's. He nibbled on the inventor's bottom lip, a small growl rumbling in his chest. "I'll be with you tonight for your punishment."
Tony had a fraction of a breath left in his own chest as arousal encompassed his body. He panted lightly, hands clawing up the trickster's form before the demigod pulled away and the electricity left upon the billionaire's flesh left tingles and short jolts that rooted him to the spot.
His brown eyes flickered closed in longing.
When he opened them again—his lover was gone.
!/!/!
He hadn't realized he'd fallen asleep until his green eyes shifted to the window where the light outside had evaporated into darkness. Even more still, he looked longingly over at Stark's form beside him in bed, Loki's hands still clenching an open book.
The inventor's chest rose and fell naturally and the beam from his arc reactor made for a glimmer of hope in the darkness; like those small insects on Midgard that flew and glowed at night, their mating ritual so beautiful as they lingered in the night sky and evaded being caught in jars.
Loki hummed softly; he couldn't quite believe this was his life now.
A… domestic partnership.
He'd gone so long without one before. Centuries, truly.
But it wasn't… it wasn't all bad.
And for that he was grateful and couldn't help himself by thanking the Allfather, of all people, to have the nerve to banish him to the realm he so sought to rule—because, and Loki suspected it wasn't in Odin's original intentions, it had been the best thing for Loki to find love, good love, and right some of the wrongs he had for so long lost himself to. To have the opportunity for a second chance—it was remarkable. If it wasn't happening to him in real time, he'd have thought it was a trick or a story being written about him by some stranger. But, luckily for him, these latter options weren't the case, and he tried to milk it and be in the present moment with his love for as much and as long as he still could.
The breath of fresh air the awareness of a second chance gave the trickster is all that really mattered and he found himself lightly depositing his forgotten book to the floor then snaking thin limbs around his boyfriend and pulling the mortal in close to him.
Tony murmured something unintelligible, but Loki kept his gaze and hands on him.
He couldn't help but trace a finger down his lover's face, the soft hairs there an odd sort of comfort. Tony roused only briefly, his brown eyes shifting beneath the pillow cases of his eyelids.
"Shhh," Loki hushed, hand coming to rest at Stark's scalp. "Sleep, my love."
As Loki's own head slacked back to the pillow, he found himself resting more of it over Tony's shoulder.
There was the familiar hum of the device in Tony's chest. The smooth rise and fall of his lungs sucking in air. A heartbeat cascading down electricity. And then… then—yes, there—something more.
There was a soft, quiet, almost fragile new hum.
He wasn't sure if it was truly new as he'd never heard it before which lent to reason that it was different, misplaced, unbelonging.
Loki's ears nestled more heavily into Tony as he strained to hear what it said.
It was almost like… words.
… But, maybe, in another language?
Something ancient. Lost. Forgotten.
He listened to it for another beat or two, wracking his mind for what reason he was hearing it and what it was trying to convey to him.
As the trickster overcame this confusion, he felt himself be brimmed with pride. Purpose. Destiny.
There was something he had to do, and he had to do it now.
Something was calling to him and he had to answer.
He always had to answer.
Before he knew it, he was disentangling himself from Stark and, in the next blink, he was standing before it again.
Blue light licked up Loki's pale and bandaged face.
He almost would have reached out a hand to the magical gem in Tony's workshop if he hadn't had enough awareness and understanding to keep this urge at bay.
The blue was dazzling and bright. Shimmering, even.
He whispered, though he was the only one in the room with it, "It's all right."
He licked his lips, and he didn't know it but there was a shadow falling over his face in juxtaposition to the brightness of the room as the hum and language that only he could understand (only him; a Destined Loki) swelled higher as he finished reassuring it, into this dark night:
"I'm listening."
!/!/!
When dawn broke across the sky that morning, Loki felt heavy with a burden he could tell no soul about and Tony, looking rested and oblivious, brown eyes shining, reached for his partner with warmth and yearning.
"Hey, babe," he mumbled in a whisper and Loki would be lying to himself if he didn't want to share with his love how much he felt purpose, drive and power again, but—it didn't feel safe yet to share it. It didn't feel right to shift his grasp of it to be somebody else's—not so soon.
Loki craved to keep it his and only his for a little while longer.
Loki trailed a repentant finger down his love's cheek. For once, the inventor actually looked well-rested.
His heart beat a little harder at the love and admiration the trickster was receiving from him. It twinged the blade in a little deeper, but he knew he had to be strong to preserve what the stone was just beginning to show him.
Loki realized, belatedly, that Tony was looking for a scrap of acknowledgement, so before the inventor could ask why he wasn't, he gave the mortal the highest of eloquence in the explanation of, "Mmm."
"How did you sleep?" Tony asked with a genuine interest that made Loki blush in a cascade of shame and honor.
"All right," he stated thinly, then rushed a hand through Tony's hair.
Tony's lips turned down into a flicker of a frown as he apologized, "I'm sorry it didn't work out with the gem." He skimmed his own hand down his partner's face. "I know it wasn't the answer you were looking for. But it's probably for the best that SHIELD takes it into their possession, today."
Loki couldn't stop himself from visibly bristling, then making quick work to lessen suspicions thereafter.
"Indeed, for the best." He swallowed and shrugged. "There will be other opportunities more spectacular and impressive." He let out a sheepish chuckle.
Tony gave him an odd look before his features relaxed and he yawned. "Well, SHIELD's coming by in…" he trailed off before checking his watch, "…about an hour, if you want to say goodbye."
Loki's eyes sparkled. "I would, if only for a moment."
!/!/!
The trickster couldn't help battling internally for the several hours after SHIELD came by to take the gem. It was certainly more than he imagined bargaining for as he felt torn by what he was meant to do and the letting down he was doing to the side of himself that had grown in his rehabilitation with the Avengers. Not to mention, all the growth he'd encompassed from his romance with the Man of Iron.
He sighed to himself, cloaked in his invisibility away from either Heimdall back on Asgard or Tony's Jarvis here on Midgard.
He'd owe it to Tony Stark and his not-brother to do more, be more, be better and shine as much as possible.
He reasoned that this sacrifice was worth the fight.
He wouldn't learn, until far later, that maybe it wasn't, maybe it never was and maybe it was rather unnecessary to begin with.
For now, he twirled his hand around the gem—his allegiance towards it allowing him to do so.
It was the true gem.
He smiled as it told him how smart he was to have given SHIELD the fake.
And he knew, somewhere deep down, that he should not have.
But it didn't seem to matter.
It didn't seem to care.
The gem was all that mattered. The center of his universe. The core of his being.
And with it, he could do and be and create anything.
He could be worthy, for once in his life.
Was that not something he was willing to experience?
And what did it matter then if he told no one? If no one knew?
They didn't have to know. They didn't have to take it away.
Loki was destined. Chosen. Perfect.
And no one should ever dream of taking that away from him again.
He'd lost so much; he'd damn the Nine Realms if they ever dared to try.
The gem would like to see them try.
A/N: Welllllll, oh my gosh, it's been forever since THIS story was updated or written for in any form or fashion. Ooooof, I'm definitely not winning any awards for being a good fanfic updater hahaha.
So, nearly 3 years went by real fast since I worked on this story at all, but I finally got the Muse again for it and worked through bouts of perfectionism to just write something (hell, anything) and outline the chapter, go off script a bit and come up with what is being presented to you now!
The whole process was imperfect and flawed, but it's done and it got worked on and for that I'm proud and grateful beyond measure! I know I keep swinging between calling this thing a gem and a stone so don't mind that (but if it's confusing, let me know so I can brush up on it). It may not be the most solid of chapter updates but it's the one we're all getting haha.
Life's been life but overall, it's been good. Career change and overcoming my own personal landfills has been a lot, but manageable. I'm hoping to next update the following stories: ALU, CeC and maybe S for Loki stories and IOtBA for House MD stories. Thank you so much for reading and engaging with this material in any way that you did today! More to come soon. Thanks!
Written: 2.26.2023, 2.28, 3.2-3.4, 3.21.2023
Typed & Edited: 3.4, 3.21.2023