Bella's Memoir

November 15, 3003 (Daylight)

It's different now. I never expected such disaster to happen, but it did. I miss the Earth I loved.

Last night, my family and I moved towards East and began digging. Digging not only for food, but for any hope of restoring any plants and trees. It seems surreal but we have nothing else to do --- to try on doing. We will not give up.

Family, you may ask? Yes, all eight of us are living. We are all immortal, of course. We encounter others like us now and then, though they never linger. Everyone travels excessively, I guess. I just hope that none of the others would kill any hope of life in this world. I hope they wouldn't kill you.

Bella sighed and stood up, watching Jasper, Emmett, and Esme suck on the corpses a few yards away. Jasper never stopped drinking thawed human blood and most of them simply didn't care if the lifeless body was of an animal or person. However, Bella never touched a dead human corpse and chose to stick with animal "defrosted" blood. The humans always reminded her of how all the people she loved had died within the earth.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Alice whispered beside her. Bella shook her head and gave her a small, assuring smile. Alice looked at her for what seemed like an endless second.

"Don't remind me again," Bella said softly. "It was painful enough before."

Unintetionally, the memory returned…

Esme laid her eyes where Jacob stood and exchanged an empathetic look with him. He quickly understood what the sympathy on Esme's gaze meant and he glanced at Renesmee for a long, painful moment. Renesmee gazed back at him, though she was still oblivious to the fact that Jacob would not be able to live after the apocalypse, for he was mostly human and humans needed air.

Finally understanding, she began sobbing and embraced him with an inseparable hold. Bella held her breath as she absorbed the truth. Not even she could save him.

"I am not leaving him," Renesmee said sternly.

"But Nessie, he has no choice," Rosalie was abruptly at her side, touching her shoulder. "We all have to make sacrifices."

"Speak for yourself," Jacob spoke glaringly, though Rosalie ignored him.

"I can make my own choice," Renesmee uttered with the same terseness. "I will die with him."

"No!" everyone exclaimed. Jacob was holding both her shoulders and looking unbelievingly down at her serious countenance. Bella was just downright speechless and aggrieved.

"Renesmee, you cannot sacrifice yourself," Jacob countered. "You will live and I won't let you come with me."

"I've made my choice, Jacob. You die, I die. And that will not mean that everyone will die with us."

"You're killing me," Bella whispered and let her knees drop to the wooden floor. My daughter. My Renesmee, whom I love and fought for, was going to forfeit her life, Bella thought. She felt a huge, painful hollow materialize inside her chest and suddenly, she had the same feeling she had as she said goodbye to her daughter when they were all convinced that the Volturi were going to kill them. But in that memory, it was Renesmee that was going to live and her life was Bella's priority. Now, it was the matter of losing her forever.

"I'm sorry," Renesmee whispered in her mother's ear and put her arms around her, tears running down her shoulder as Renesmee wept silently. Then another set of arms wrapped them both and Edward was softly comforting them, the sorrow and hurt escaping his velvet voice.

They embraced each other for an interminable moment. They stayed like this, knowing that the only daughter Edward and Bella had conceived would be gone in a few months. It was true that Renesmee was killing her with her decision but it was her choice and Bella didn't want to make her choose between them or Jacob. She loves her as much as she loves Edward and she understood why she wished to die.

Bella held Renesmee's locket around her neck as the reminiscence subsided. The golden locket was ancient, since centuries have passed. It still held a refined photo of her, Edward, and Renesmee. On the other side, it held the words plus que ma propre vie, meaning more than my own life. The locket was as fragile as that poignant memory.

Bella then continued writing:

The way we live is not normal. Day and night we excavate and feed on liquefied blood. I find it rather repulsive, though. But it's the only way.

Right now the heat is causing some ice to melt, but it instantly freezes because we are under a recovered ozone layer and everything around us is simply icy. But the sky is still cloudless --- a sign that means no water has evaporated yet. No river, no ocean, no sea…

Sometimes I just feel like dying a definite death. All the time I wish to shed the tears that I wanted shed at the moments when I lost a mortal loved one. I wanted to cry for my daughter and her lover, for they both have been an exceptional part in my life. They complete the Cullens and they most definitely complete me.

. . .

Benjamin's Journal

I curse and curse and curse all day. Why, you may ask? Because I fail at using my own abilities!

Amun was right; renewing an environment would cost all my effort to the extent of tiring. Is that even possible? Well it sure feels like it.

I only managed to invisibly lift about fifty feet of ice and since there was no air to work with, it was more difficult to accomplish. I feel like I'm practicing and trying to discover my powers all over again. It was infuriating!

"Love, you're breaking the pencil," Tia said, gently separating my firm grasp on the material. I sighed but smiled at her. She returned the smile, which made me kiss her irresistible lips. I love her so much.

"What if I can't restore the land?" I whispered. "I don't want to disappoint anyone and they are definitely trusting me with this duty. It needs to be done."

"Just give it some time, Benjamin. Lara's not going to give birth to the child in three months and you can practice every day if you please. But don't overdo it because you still have a wife." She touched the tip of Benjamin's nose with her index finger as she concluded her saying.

"Never will I forget about you, Tia."

They pressed their lips onto each others' and for the entire night, Benjamin did not think of the difficulties he had been undergoing for the past couple of weeks.

- - - - - - - -

"Lara" is the name of the pregnant lady =)

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